She could tell by that look in his eyes he wasn’t sure what she meant either. He simply nodded and wished them both well before he stalked from the room.
The minute he cleared the door, Russell turned to her. “He’s a little young for you, isn’t he?”
Normally she’d blast him for the irony of his criticism, but she was exhausted and she was scared. The night had been one hell of a roller coaster, and she just needed a quiet moment to get her bearings. It wasn’t worth another fight. “It’s nothing, Russell, okay?”
She couldn’t admit to him or to anyone that she was off enjoying some lascivious fantasy while her baby needed her from hundreds of miles away. The guilt was so crushing she could barely breathe.
Outside the waiting room, just on the other side of the door, Xander leaned against the wall and tried to pretend her denial of what they had shared – something that he had never shared with anyone else – didn’t hurt. Though all he wanted to do was stay, to be there for Joely even if she was too stupid to see that she needed him – he squared his shoulders and walked away.
Day was breaking by the time Joely walked into Hannah’s private room. She was groggy but awake. “Mommy!” she said as Joely sank into the chair next to the bed. Russell took the seat on the other side, watching their exchange quietly.
“I’m here, baby,” she crooned as she brushed Hannah’s damp hair from her face. “And I’m never leaving you again,” she promised.
That pleased Hannah, who dozed on and off until just after nine o’clock in the morning, when Lillian and Granny Faye rushed into the room. Both ignored Russell, who took the opportunity to excuse himself so he could fetch another cup of coffee from the cafeteria. Instead they fussed over Hannah, who was feeling so much better she reveled in the attention.
“Who’s watching the restaurant?” Joely asked her mother while Granny Faye pored over a brand new coloring book she’d brought along for their sick girl.
“Xander,” Lillian told her. “He knew we’d want to be here.”
Joely nodded, avoiding her mother’s knowing look. Their cover had effectively been blown. She just wasn’t ready to talk about it with anyone.
“You should go home and get some sleep,” Lillian said, but Joely shook her head. God himself couldn’t take her from Hannah’s side.
“I’m fine,” she assured.
Lillian nodded. She knew her daughter well. “I’ll bring you some lunch,” she promised. They stayed until Hannah began to doze again, thanks to the medication she was under. Both women hugged Joely tight before they left, heading back to the restaurant.
Russell entered the room shortly after they left. “If you need to go, I can stay.”
She shook her head. “I’m staying. Besides, you should probably get back to the kids.”
He rubbed his tired eyes as he nodded. It had been a hell of a night. “Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m good.”
Before he left, he stopped at the door. “Thank you for coming back.”
Her eyes met his. “Where else would I be?”
Again he nodded and left her alone with Hannah. She rested her head on the bed, staring at her precious baby girl as she slept. It was frightening to think that she might not have seen her again. Just one selfish decision and she could have been punished for a lifetime. That woman in that hotel room hadn’t been her. This was who she was, who she had always been. She was a mother. This was real life. Everything else had just been an illusion.
Russell was dog-tired when he got back to the house. He was stunned to find that it was cleaned and breakfast had been prepared. Nash was washing dishes when he entered the kitchen. “Something smells good.”
He just shrugged and pointed to a plate with pancakes and bacon. “I thought maybe you’d be hungry.”
Russell stood next to his thoughtful child. “Thank you, son.”
Nash nodded. “How’s Hannah?”
“Much better,” Russell said. “She’s going to be in the hospital a few days but she’ll be back to her old self in no time.” He looked around. “Where’s Kari?”
“Up in Hannah’s room. She wanted to pack her a bag with her pajamas and some toys and books.”
Russell nodded. It warmed his heart to see them rally together for the family. He had never seen that side of them before. He knew that Joely was responsible for that. She had done her job well raising them. It made him reevaluate the last twenty years they’d spent together, especially when he entered Hannah’s pretty pink paradise of a bedroom, where Kari sat on the floor, listening to her earphones, as she packed a small suitcase for her sister.
He glanced around the room, where he and Joely had brought Hannah home nearly six years before. There were so many memories in this house, everywhere he turned. He shuddered to think how close they might have come to losing Hannah. All that would have been left behind were the many memories in that house. How empty it was without her laughter, or without the sounds of Kari and Nash fighting over the bathroom, or Joely nagging them to do their homework or clean their rooms.
Had he really believed it all to be mundane?
Kari spotted her dad out of the corner of her eye. She pulled one of the earbuds out of her ear. “How’s Hannah?”
“She’s resting. Your mother’s with her now at the hospital.”
Kari almost seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “Good. I’m almost done packing a bag for her. Can we go see her?”
Russell smiled. “Of course. Just give me a couple of hours to get a nap.”
She nodded and went back to her task. Russell watched her for a bit before he headed down the hall to his bedroom. His bed was still mussed from the hasty departure. He didn’t even bother to undress as he collapsed on top of it.
The sheets still smelled of Jena’s perfume. He always loved that smell, that exotic blend of spice and jasmine. She was such an enticing creature from the moment that they met, so different from Joely. It was what he thought he needed – what he thought he wanted. He sighed as he reached to the empty space on the other side of the bed. He stared at it until his heavy eyelids drooped and he slipped into a fitful nap.
Around noon, the lunch her mother had promised her arrived, hand-delivered by none other than Xander. In one hand he carried a big takeout box that she knew immediately Lillian had filled with all sorts of comfort food. In his other hand he carried a bunch of colorful helium balloons, attached to a plush pink teddy bear for Hannah, who brightened the instant she saw them. “Are those for me?” she asked with those big blue eyes.
“Indeed they are,” he grinned as he took other seat beside her bed, directly opposite of Joely. He pretended the bear was talking in a funny voice. “’I heard you didn’t feel well and I thought I’d bring you some balloons to brighten your day.’” She giggled as she reached for the bear.
“I love him. What’s his name?”
“You know, he didn’t say but I myself have always been partial to Xander.” He gave her a wink. “So how are you feeling?”
“Better,” she told him as she examined her new toy. “I had a surgery.”
“I heard,” he said. “You gave us all quite a fright. I’m so glad you’re feeling better.” He leaned forward to share a secret. “I hear there’s a vat of chocolate ice cream at the restaurant with your name all over it. But you’re going to have to work on your pathetic face to get it. Let me see it,” he said, showing her how to give a deep pout with big sad eyes. She giggled as she mimicked him. “Not bad. Not great, but not bad. After another day or so of hospital food you should have it down pat.”
He turned his focus to Joely. “How are you? You look exhausted.”
She shrugged. She’d sleep when they got Hannah back home. “No rest for the wicked,” she dismissed.
He studied her face. He wanted to say so much but he couldn’t say any of it in front of Hannah. So he kept it professional. “I called Tish this morning. She was completely sympathetic and sends her best regards. We
can postpone the trip for another time, after Lil Bit here is all better.”
Joely shook her head. “I’ve changed my mind, Xander. I can’t take these kinds of trips away from the kids. They need me here.”
He wanted to argue immediately but he knew this was one battle he was going to have to choose wisely. “You’re the boss,” was all he said. From his look, she got the message.
“Xander!” Kari said as she entered the room. “What are you doing here?”
Joely glanced up in time to see Russell and Nash enter behind Kari.
Xander stood and gave Kari a quick side hug. “I came to see the wee patient,” he said, referring to Hannah. “Hey, buddy,” he greeted Nash. They shared their bro handshake, which made Nash smile. He turned to Russell. “Nice to see you again.”
Russell nodded but said nothing. Kari and Nash greeted Hannah with hugs and kisses, and she promptly shared her new bear. “This is Xander,” she said with a big smile. Both Kari and Russell glanced at Xander, who shrugged.
“Small world,” was all he said. “I do need to get back to the restaurant, though. So I will leave you all to it.” He turned back to Hannah. “Get well soon, love. And work on that pathetic face. It’s still much too cute.” He made the face and she mimicked, full of giggles and smiles that negated it instantly.
After he left, Hannah promptly regaled her surgery saga for her brother and sister. Russell tapped Joely’s shoulder, indicating that she should follow him outside the room, which she did.
“I thought you didn’t want the children to meet the people we dated.”
“I’m not dating Xander,” she told him.
“That’s good,” he said, which took her by surprise. “That’ll make it easier for you to move back into the house.”
Her widened eyes met his. “What?”
“It’s going to take a couple of weeks for Hannah to recover. I think she should do it at home, where she’ll be more comfortable.”
“And then, what? We get to uproot ourselves again in a few weeks?”
“Or you could stay,” he said softly.
She studied him through narrowed eyes. “Are you asking me back, Russell?”
“I think we can both agree that this arrangement isn’t working. This weekend taught us that. We’re a family, Joely. We should be together.”
“But you don’t love me anymore. You said it yourself.”
“A lot of things were said in the heat of the moment,” he dismissed without confirming or denying. “Our kids need us. Both of us. We should do whatever we need to do to be there.”
“So… I come back home, become the doting little homemaker, and you get to keep fucking Jena on the side, just like before?”
He made a face at her use of the obscenity, pulling her by the arm down the hall where they could speak privately. “Why are you being so difficult? I thought this was what you wanted.”
“To be guilted into staying in a loveless marriage?” she shot back. “Russell, think about what you’re asking.”
His blue eyes could have cut steel. “I know what I’m asking. We’re still married. Nothing has changed.”
Her eyes flashed as she glared back up at him. “Everything has changed, Russell. Everything.” She ripped her arm from his grasp and stalked back down the hall to Hannah’s room.
Chapter Twenty
Joely remained obstinate all the way until Hannah’s release from the hospital two days later. She was going to return home to Lillian’s house in Old Elmwood, rather than cart the kids back to Fairway Oaks. She didn’t even consult them about it. Russell was just being over-emotional after the scare they had with Hannah and her emergency surgery. Once the cloud had passed, all the problems that had shattered the marriage before would still be there – namely Jena, who still worked for Russell.
“Do you really want me to fire her?” Russell had challenged when she brought it up.
“No,” Joely had answered. “Because you’ll just hire someone else in her place. Or have you already?” she said, thinking about the new assistant he had hired to tempt David to stray.
Regardless of how she fought him, Russell championed hard for her return all the way until she rolled Hannah out to Lillian’s car idling at the entrance of the hospital. He followed behind, carrying Hannah’s belongings.
“I’d like to see Hannah before my next official visitation,” he told Joely, who helped Hannah into the backseat.
“Fine,” she said. “You know the address.”
He watched helplessly as she got into the passenger side and Lillian drove away without even glancing his direction.
He was at the end of his rope. He had offered her the key back into his home and into his life, but she had rejected him. Was this because of that young stud, Xander? Or was she punishing him for what he had done with Jena?
Maybe Kari had been right. Maybe she was simply happier now that she was on her own. It gave him an idea. He used his free afternoon to head down to the mall. He had a couple of aces hidden up his sleeve, to show Joely how much better off they’d all be if she simply came home.
Joely and Lillian spent their afternoon getting Hannah comfortable in her room. Mason and Chris brought Lilah over for a playdate after school, which made her little social butterfly happy as she shared all her toys and books and her tales of woe from the hospital with her new BFF.
Mason brought a care package for Joely too, including bath bombs and a bottle of wine. “You look exhausted,” he told her after he gave her a big long hug.
“Mom duty,” she shrugged. “You know all about that.” She couldn’t even imagine what it had been like for Mason and Chris when Lilah had been so sick, where it was life and death for more than a few hours. They were up to their necks in debt for her medical bills, but neither one of them complained. Money wasn’t important. The life of their child was.
Still, practical concerns did rear their ugly heads. Joely hadn’t baked in four days, a record for her. She watched her bank account stall well below the $10,000-goal she had set for herself. Whether she wanted to or not, she knew she’d have to take the job with Jena now. It was a matter of money. Her pride would just have to deal with it.
Her pride was already staggering anyway. No one had bugged her for any new cookies yet. She could only hope that was because they were giving her time to take care of her daughter, and not that interest had waned. She couldn’t help but quiz Mason about it that Monday afternoon they sat sipping tea and eating some of the last of her irregular cookies she’d kept for the kids.
“So has everyone forgotten about me yet?” she asked. She couldn’t even look at him when she said it.
“Are you kidding? When we ran out of the last of your cookies during Sunday lunch, I thought we were going to have a riot on our hands. You’re barely going to get a chance to catch your breath before you’re back in the kitchen.”
She chuckled. “That’s good news at least.” Then, quieter, “I’m surprised Xander hasn’t been blowing up my phone.”
Mason shot her a knowing glance. “Among other things.”
She sighed. She didn’t want to talk about her ill-advised dalliance with the sexy Brit. She had to. “Is it that obvious?”
Mason shrugged. “To anyone paying attention, I guess. Fortunately for you most people are caught up in their own business. Your secret is safe, so far,” he added with a grin. “So what’s the deal?”
“I don’t know. He came on like a locomotive the minute I walked into the restaurant, not sure why. It’s not like he’s hard up for women, and I’m no Mata Hari.”
“That’s true,” Mason agreed easily. She glared at him.
“Thanks.”
“Hey, if you want someone to blow sunshine up your ass, don’t hang out with the gays. We tell it like it is.”
“So what is it?” she asked, because she really, really wanted to know.
“There’s no rhyme or reason to what Xander does. He has his own set of priorities and objectives.
I’ve seen him go home with a new girl every night and I’ve seen him fixate on one particular target until she breaks. He definitely seems to like the chase, though.”
She chuckled. “He should be plenty through with me, then.”
Mason playfully hit her with his hand. “You slut! Details. I want details.”
She shook her head, blushing all the way to the roots of her hair. “He kind of sees me as a project, I think. Like his house.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being flipped every once and a while,” he grinned.
“The problem is that he’s now rubbed off on Russell, who wants me to come home now of all things.”
Mason rolled his eyes. “You’re not going, are you?”
She shook her head. “It’d just be too hard on the kids. They’ve already had their world turned upside down on his whim. I’m not going to let him twist them in the wind any more than I have to.”
“You make it sound like you have no say so in the matter. What does Joely want?”
Another sigh. “I don’t know. I just don’t think I can go back, you know? It would never be the same. That big old house seems smaller. So does Russell. It was like his affair tore my blinders right off.”
Mason sympathized with her conundrum. “Do you still love him?”
“Four months ago, I probably would have answered yes, no hesitation. But I don’t know if I would have meant it, not like I meant it nineteen years ago, or even five years ago. I don’t know when it happened but I got so complacent. We both go so complacent.”
He filled in the blanks. “And here’s this new guy who makes you feel alive again, someone who makes going back to sleep unthinkable.”
“It’s stupid, isn’t it?”
“You’re human,” Mason corrected. “You want more than the life Russell is willing to offer.” She nodded. “I think you’ve answered your own question.”
“You don’t think the kids will hate me?” That was her biggest fear.
“Of course they’ll hate you. They’re your kids. Everything that goes wrong in their life will come back to you in some form or fashion. But when they’re older and they’ve had some distance, they’ll see it was the best thing for you at the time. No one who truly loves you would expect you to put yourself last behind their happiness.”
Back for Seconds (Lone Star Second Chances Book 1) Page 22
