by Ajay Patel
“I know,” Rocky said, looking at Komal, “But it’s an important one and deserves to be said again.”
“I agree,” Megha said, defending the toast, not allowing Vijay to give Rocky a hard time.
“My turn?” Vijay asked around for verification, they all nodded. He then said with a grin, “Here’s to possibilities.”
“Shut up!” They all yelled at him.
“What? It’s important enough to say twice, but not three times?” Vijay laughed.
“Come on!” Megha whined. “Seriously!”
Vijay raised his glass, and started, “First of all, I wanted to say…”
Rocky interrupted him. “Remember, it’s a toast. Not a story.”
“Oh. Geez! So many restrictions!” Vijay said, dropping his glass for a second to rethink his words. He looked around, seeing people clumsily meeting each other with their badges on in full matrimonial fashion. He looked at Megha, Komal, and then Rocky, and then he raised his glass back up to theirs and said, “Here’s to a fun and great convention, here’s to an even better convention next year, and here’s hoping that none of us have to be at next year’s convention,” and with that, they all clinked their glasses together hoping their fates matched his wishes.
The crowds in the room had grown tremendously. “Okay, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m ready to meet some new people. Megha, what do you say we make a bet on who meets more people.”
“Okay,” Megha said. “What do you have in mind?”
“Phone number contest. Winner is the one with the most phone numbers by the end of the night,” explained Vijay.
“What?” Megha protested. “Why would we do that? Everyone’s phone number is already on that list. There’s no need to ask for them.”
“You’re wrong! There’s a huge difference between calling from a list or calling from a given number,” Vijay said.
“Why?” Megha asked.
“First, I know my number, as well as many of the ones on the list, is a phone number to my parents’ house. So if I met someone interesting tonight, I wouldn’t want to call their parents first. I mean, how embarrassing is that?!”
“That’s true,” Megha could see some merit to the argument.
“But more importantly, if someone writes down their number for you after you ask for it, you at least know there is some possible interest on their part to hear from you. It’s not like some blind call from someone going down the alphabet.”
“Yeah. That’s true too,” Megha admitted. “Okay, I’m in. Loser buys the others a drink at midnight.” Megha agreed.
“How about you guys?” Vijay asked Rocky and Komal.
“You know what? We were just talking. We were thinking of maybe taking a walk around the convention center. I was telling Komal about the gardens and fountain outside. We’ll catch up with you later tonight though.”
“Sure,” Vijay understood. “Shall we start?” Vijay asked Megha, having used the bet as a means to separate him and Megha from Rocky and Komal.
“Well, as our parents would say, the night’s not getting any younger and neither are you!” Megha said laughing again.
The rest of the evening Vijay and Megha continued to laugh in the safety of each other, with each of them going on brief excursions to meet new people at the pushing request of the other. Vijay reacquainted himself with Priya, who he had not really spoken with since the first day. Megha, on the other hand, had been approached by a guy named Sumeet who even she admitted had potential.
By midnight, Vijay went to the bar and sat down. He had just danced with Priya for three straight dances. She danced like her personality, full of bubbly energy and with that ever present and effervescent smile. She was one of three women Vijay either had met or was introduced to that showed promise. Vijay had collected each of their phone numbers along with several others. As he came to the bar he saw Megha there waiting for him.
“Look at you? The dancin’ machine!” she laughed.
“At least I wasn’t leading the Macarena dance like you. And what was that other thing you were doing on the stage? You must have had four guys thrusting and gyrating around you!” Vijay laughed.
“Thrusting and gyrating?!” Megha replied laughing back. “Please don’t use those words around my parents, although it did get me eight quality phone numbers.”
“Only eight? I’ve got nine.” Vijay took out a sheet of paper with phone numbers. “Buy me that drink now, I need it after all the work I did to get these!”
“Very impressive!” Megha said looking at the sheet.
“I would have had ten numbers, but one of the women was a little miffed. I asked for her phone number and she said she would be happy to give it to me. But then when I took out my sheet for her to write on, she told me she didn’t just want to be one of the millions I was putting the moves on and turned away.”
“So we at least learned there’s a proper way to get numbers. One per page!” Megha said. She ordered two drinks.
“So you met some great guys, huh?” Vijay asked.
“Well, I’m sure they’re all great. It’s kinda like you said. I just don’t know. I hope they call me so I get a chance to find out.”
“Hey, take a look,” Vijay pointed to the dance floor. Rocky and Komal were dancing close together. Both with smiles and a look of happiness that was evident even from across the room. “You know, we’re responsible for that.”
“They do look good together. So happy,” Megha sighed.
“Why the sigh?” Vijay asked.
“Well, seeing them like that is kinda bittersweet. They’ve each found someone. At least I hope they have. It makes me happy. But at the same time…” she trailed off with a sigh “I’m sad that it’s all hap
pening.”
“What?” Vijay asked.
“Why can’t that happen to me? I just don’t understand. I feel like everyone around me is finding someone, but I can’t seem to. Now that Komal might have Rocky, I’m just that much more alone,” she said quietly.
“You know, I’ve been feeling the same thing a little,” Vijay admitted.
Megha sighed, “What are we talking about? They only just met. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything…” Inside, however, they both knew something wonderful had happened for Komal and Rocky. “I am just oh so tired of this all. I want it to end. I do!” Megha looked thoughtfully towards the dance floor. A slow song was being played and in front of them were a number of couples, including Rocky and Komal, dancing while she and Vijay sat at the bar thinking wishfully and wistfully.
“Here,” Vijay raised his glass, beckoning Megha to do the same. “To possibilities.”
“To possibilities,” Megha echoed.
It was official. The Gujarati Matrimonial Convention was over. And while Rocky and Komal may have found each other, for Megha and Vijay, as they walked out of the room, they found themselves in the same status as they had coming to the convention. Single and looking for that elusive right person to share the rest of their lives with, with only a list of phone numbers and the hopes that came with them.
19
I’m on the Phone Again
“Yes, hello?” a voice answered the telephone.
“Greetings! Could I please be speaking to Ms. Mona Patel from New York?” the caller asked with a heavy Indian accent.
“This is she,” Mona replied warily.
“Oh hello! Hello! It is being so nice to be talking to you! I am understanding that you are looking for matrimonial alliance and I was requesting…” the caller continued.
“Oh let me guess,” Mona said with a sigh. “You want a copy of the video biodata.”
“Video? Biodata? Video biodata? Wait, please explain,” asked the caller perplexed.
“Yes, the video biodata. The one that shows me cooking and cleaning and taking care of a family. All the potential in-laws want to see a copy of that first to know I can keep a house in order during the marriage. After all, anyone can just write something
in a plain old biodata,” Mona explained.
“How did you know it was me!?” Vijay started laughing, no longer able to conceal his identity. Mona had left a message earlier that day and he was returning her call.
“Please! I can recognize your voice from a mile away no matter how heavy the fake accent!” Mona laughed back.
“So what’s going on?” Vijay asked.
“Not too much. I had just called earlier to catch up and see how you were doing. So tell me, how did the rest of the convention turn out?”
Vijay told her how the convention definitely got better that last evening because everyone had put down their pretenses and increased their willingness to meet new people before it was too late. He also told her about Rocky and Komal and how, although after only just a few hours of their being together, it seemed so right so quickly for them. Although he never was a proponent for quick alliances as their parents had undergone, he appreciated the fact that when it seemed so obviously right, not much time was needed in order to figure that out.
“Yeah, he’s totally gone gaga!” Vijay groaned. “Would you believe that he called her the second he landed back in LA?”
“Wow! He totally violated industry standards!” Mona spoke along the same terms as Valerie. “You’re right, he must really like her!” Mona laughed. “What about you? I hope you’re pursuing your leads diligently.”
“I am,” Vijay admitted. He had just finished an hour long call with a girl named Sapna from Atlanta and was in the kitchen cooking while he talked to Mona. “In fact, there are all kinds of women who’ve been calling me that I hadn’t even met at the convention. I guess that spread sheet with all of our information got faxed all across America after the convention was over.”
“All kinds of women are calling you? This sounds really promising!” she said excitedly for him.
“Considering that I’ve never even met any of them, who really knows how promising any of this might turn out. What about you? Has your phone been ringing off the hook?”
“No, I can’t say that it has,” Mona responded. “But like I was telling you, I don’t think I really want it to at this point in my life. Besides, I wasn’t exactly giving the ‘looking to get married’ signal out that weekend, if you know what I mean.”
“Well, you’re lucky. This calling stuff takes a lot of time,” Vijay said with a sigh, “and it takes a lot out of me.”
“There’s just no pleasing you!” Mona complained vigorously. “You tell me you’re down when you have no one to meet and now you’re upset when you have too many to meet! You never know! One of these new ones may be the one! Then it’ll all seem totally worth it!”
“You’re right,” Vijay conceded. “Thanks for reminding me. In fact, I think I’ll call back one of the women right now,” Vijay said good bye.
“Are you married?” Vijay asked over the phone. It was a week later on Sunday afternoon and he had returned to his apartment from his parents’ house earlier that day.
“No need to worry on that one, believe me!” Megha laughed. “I went straight home after the convention! There were no honeymoons!”
“So how are all the convention men in your life?” Vijay asked.
“Oh, they’re all doing just fine, but I’m in the process of doing some quality control. Sumeet, that guy I met the last night, is really the only one with any potential,” Megha said with a sigh. “How about you? Who’s on your list?”
“It might be easier to tell you who’s not on my list!” Vijay groaned. “I’ve gotten calls back from women that I called earlier plus a whole bunch of other women who’ve called me out of nowhere!”
“Well, that’s not surprising. If you run down the list you’ll see that your competition isn’t very stiff. You’d be a great catch…for anybody,” Megha added very quietly, as if the comment was a revelation only for herself to hear that unexpectedly had slipped out.
Vijay didn’t catch Megha’s last comment, although the change in her tone of voice nagged at him for a second making him feel like something important had just happened. Unfortunately, just as she had uttered that statement, Vijay heard a beep indicating that he had another call. “Hang on a second,” he said to Megha and clicked to the other line. After a few moments, Vijay came back. “Hey Megha, I told you I’ve been constantly on the phone with all these women. I’ve gotta go and introduce myself to someone new again,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll talk to you later and tell you all about the latest one,” he promised as he said good bye, not at all realizing that he may have missed something very important.
“Hi, Vijay?” the voice asked on the phone.
“Hey Mona, how are you?” Vijay responded.
“I’m okay. I’m surprised you recognized my voice given all the women who you must be talking with every day,” she joked.
“Believe me, over time I’ve gotten to know you better than most of the others.” And it was true, Vijay realized. As they had gotten to know each other, they had started to call more often and Vijay had actually opened up to her just as she had to him. In fact, they no longer were just friends, but rather were good friends. Gone were the days of playing games to make sure he didn’t get hurt by Mona. “Actually, that’s part of the problem.”
“What?” she asked.
“I guess I’m talking to all these women on the phone and it’s beginning to feel like a job interview. I tell one woman my whole life story and my little jokes and experiences, hang up, and then do the same thing with the next person. It’s starting to sound so canned to me now. I hate it!”
“That’s what happens when you’re talking to a lot of women at the same time. Imagine what it would have been like if you were dating all of them. Your hands would really be full then!” Mona tried to make light of the situation.
Vijay agreed. If he could have had his way, he would have liked to have spread them all out over time so that he could properly devote time and attention to each woman that had potential. Even his parents commented that it wasn’t a good situation, saying that talking to so many at the same time would only confuse things, and he would never pick one if always given so many choices. The problem with that was that he had met all these women at the convention during the same weekend. Not to call them back shortly thereafter would, as he liked to say it, make the lead stale. In which case, his parents would probably then say he wasn’t trying hard enough. Either way, he was in an unfavorable predicament.
“Calling all these new women at the same time, though, worries me. I feel like I’m starting to repeat stories because I can’t keep track of what I’ve told anyone. I bet most of the women I’ve been talking to think I’m an airhead now because of that!”
“At least you’re given a chance to prove you’re an airhead!” Mona replied. “I get categorized as one before anyone has even talked or met me!”
“Why would anyone think that about you?” asked Vijay, perplexed. Mona was in fact one of the more intelligent and sophisticated women he knew.
“Just because they look at the biodata and see that I’m going to fashion school. They just automatically assume that I’m some bimbo who couldn’t get a real degree and that I’m using this as a time-pass until I get an M.R.S.”
“I guess everyone gets so wrapped up in the stereotypes and the things that they’ve heard or seen in writing, that they don’t even bother to actually get to know the person and who they’re all about.”
“The problem is, though, that when you’re going through this, you don’t really get a lot of time to get to know the person to get beyond those stereotypes,” Mona said.
Vijay paused, letting those words sink in. “You’re right. I guess we can only hope that we meet someone who takes the time to get to know and understand us for who we really are.”
20
What was it that I was looking for?
“Megha?” Vijay asked. He had called her late at night.
“Vijay?” she asked. “All right, let’s hear it,” she anticipa
ted a dilemma had presented itself to him that he needed to discuss with her. She audibly yawned in the hopes of waking up, only causing Vijay to uncontrollably yawn back a response.
“Well, one of the women that I’ve been talking to after the convention, her name is Vibha, has been calling me quite a bit,” Vijay explained.
“And this is a problem because?” asked Megha, pushing the issue forward.
“Well, now she’s calling me all the time, and to be honest with you, I’m not so sure I’m interested in her anymore.”
“So tell her that. Okay, goodnight!” Megha gave the quick fix answer in the hopes of getting some sleep. She knew she would not be so lucky.
“I just did and it was hard! How do you tell someone you’re not interested? That just seems so mean! I tried to do it discretely at first. You know, using my PPMs,” responded Vijay.
“What was that again?” Megha asked, a little uncertain.
“You know, my platonic prophylactic measures,” Vijay repeated. “I’ve tried to give her discreet clues that I’m not interested during the last few phone calls, but she’s just clueless!” he said in an exasperated tone.
“Give me some examples of what you do, maybe that’ll help me understand better,” Megha requested curiously.
“If we’re talking on the phone, I’d ask her about the other guys she was talking to and would try to tell her about the guys that I could set her up with,” explained Vijay. “I was even telling her about the other girls that I was talking to just so I could maybe make her think I thought of her only as a friend.”
“And you did this why?” Megha asked, suddenly in a quiet tone, almost as if she too, had at some time been unknowingly subjected to the same measures.
“Because hopefully I could give her enough hints about how I felt so that it never came to a point of my having to tell her outright that I wasn’t interested. That way there’s no real rejection that has to come to the surface,” said Vijay.
