Already the woods were crawling with every on-duty officer in the area, in addition to a few who were not. Dodge was here, and Jo, Tish, and Ruthie. Blythe and Christy stayed at the campground with the kids, to keep them out of the activity for the moment. Jo was beside herself, fluttering around as pale as a sheet on a clothesline. Dodge also seemed unable to keep from moving, and he added plenty of his own threats on top of his son’s; it was his way of offering reassurance, I knew. Curt and Marie Utley had been called, and both of them were sitting with their son, who was wrapped in a blanket and drinking coffee. My eyes flickered to Noah; I could not begin to consider what might have happened if he hadn’t been acting out his plan to commit suicide down on the dock.
Oh God. Life is so crazy, I thought, clinging tightly to Justin’s arms, wrapped around me from behind. I don’t even mean that in a bad way, but it’s so fucking crazy. What if Noah didn’t show up tonight? Would I be dead right now? I thought of the way Zack’s pale snake eyes looked, looming so close to mine. I knew, somehow, that there was a part of him that wanted to kill me, and suddenly, with the understanding of this knowledge, all of my extra senses rippled back into place, alive and pulsing, bursting forth as though dormant too long, requiring immediate recognition.
It’s all right now, doll, I heard Aunt Minnie say, plain as day in my mind. You survived and it’s all right now. You’ve been delivered.
Minnie! Don’t go yet. Oh God, explain this.
“There’s nothing more to be done tonight,” Charlie was saying. “You two go home and get some sleep, if you can. I’ll let you know if we discover anything before morning.”
No one wanted to let us go home; Mom was adamant that we sleep in her house, Dodge wanted to stand guard over the bed. But in the end I wanted my own room, my husband beside me, and so Justin carried me to the truck after hugs all around, and drove us along the gravel road that curved through the woods and led back to our lot.
“Will you carry me to bed?” I whispered as he parked in the driveway, so exhausted I could hardly stand.
“I will do anything for you,” Justin said. He cradled me to his chest as he carried me to our room. There, he placed me upon the bed, bending over me, cupping my belly and pressing his face. I dug my hands into his hair, holding his head against me as he said, “If anything had happened to you…Jilly, my Jillian, I would die.” He shifted and took my face in his hands, his eyes ravaged, speaking around a choking lump in his throat. “Can you forgive me for not being here? For not protecting you from him?”
Of course he would feel that way; I knew he would torture himself with it, and I could not let him. “This is not your fault. Do you hear me?”
Tears flooded his eyes. With utmost tenderness, soft as cottonseed alighting on the lake, he kissed my lips. He smoothed hair from my forehead and whispered, “I’m so sorry. You can say you don’t blame me, but I blame myself. It’s my responsibility to protect you, to protect our family.”
“Justin,” I said, getting my arms around his neck. “Please don’t do this to yourself. It’s no one’s fault. Please, never say it’s your fault, not ever again.”
He drew a shuddering breath and rested his lips to my forehead. I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his scent. “I need you so much, Justin.” He made a sound deep in his throat, and I told him honestly, “It’s all right now, I feel it. I really do.”
He whispered, “I’ll never let you from my arms again. I couldn’t go on without you, Jillian, not for a minute.”
He shifted us to the side, curling protectively around me. I could feel his heartbeat, steady and strong. He said, “I’ll hold you while you sleep, baby. I won’t let go.”
Gran and Great-Aunt Minnie came to me in a dream, appearing as the versions of themselves that I remembered from my high school days, back when I helped Minnie dye her hair its original golden-blonde every few weeks. They came to me with their faces somber and smoothed their hands over my cheek as I lay against my husband, touching the bruising left there.
Jillian, it was too close, Gran said. He would have killed you.
His hatred is too deep to comprehend. Even he can’t understand it, Great-Aunt Minnie said. It’s in his very blood.
What do you mean? I begged.
Look at the boy, Gran said tenderly, casting her eyes upon Justin’s sleeping form. The boy has always been for you, Jilly. You just needed to realize it. You belong to him and he belongs to you.
Is Zack gone? I wanted answers. Is he gone? What about Mathias and Camille? What do they need to find out? Are they in danger?
But as much as my grandmother and my great-aunt loved me, they could not answer.
Chapter Sixteen
SATURDAY MORNING DAWNED CLEAR AND GOLDEN, AND WE were still tangled together in bed as the clock edged past noon. We had two more days of vacation ahead of us and were no closer to any answers about Malcolm and Cora than we’d been a week ago in Minnesota. The only thing I knew for certain was that we were meant to meet the Rawleys here in Jalesville. Maybe that was the true purpose of our trip.
“Morning, honey,” Mathias mumbled. He was still half-asleep, lazy and content after a very late night, first singing at The Spoke for over three hours, and then back here in our black bear bed, fulfilling my every naughty, wonderful request, as promised. A blush bloomed all the way to my hairline, just recalling. I hoped we hadn’t been too loud. Mathias spread a warm hand against my belly, letting his fingertips trail lightly between my legs, and amended, “Well, afternoon, really.”
“Good morning,” I murmured. “Thank you for last night.”
“Oh, holy shit, it was my pleasure. My very great pleasure.”
I buried a giggle in the pillow. I supposed we’d have to get up and get moving; according to the little bedside clock it was quarter to one.
“Clark let us sleep right through breakfast,” Mathias explained.
“I can’t believe we slept this late…”
“It’s all right, honey, we’re on vacation.”
“I’m going to shower,” I whispered.
“I’ll be here,” he said with a grin, snuggling into the sheets. He looked so tempting I almost dove back into the bed.
After my shower I found him already dressed, sitting on the edge of the mattress and dialing his voicemail. His eyes lit with a smile at the sight of me. He said, “I love the sight of you all damp and steamy from the shower.”
I blew him a kiss and then found my bag, rooting around for my own cell phone; finding it, I saw that it needed charging, of course. I moved to plug it into the wall as Mathias listened to his messages. I busied myself packing our things and didn’t at first realize that he’d gone stone-still.
“Camille,” he said, in such a strange tone of voice that I dropped the clothes I was holding.
“What is it?” I asked, alarm bells wailing in my head. He held the phone to his shoulder as though he couldn’t bear to hear any more of the message. My heart ratcheted up to about a hundred miles an hour. I whispered one word, “Millie…”
Mathias shook his head at once. “No, no, she’s fine. That was your mom. I don’t even know…”
“What is it?” I cried, and Mathias tossed his phone to the side, standing and taking my shoulders in his hands.
“Last night Jilly was attacked by a man named Zack Dixon.”
“Oh God,” I uttered. “Is she—oh God—is she all right?”
“He hit her, but she’s all right. Noah saved her.”
“What?” I gripped his elbows to stay upright.
Mathias’s voice was low with shock and concern as he explained, “Noah was out at Shore Leave last night because he was going to shoot himself on the dock. He had a gun. He saved your aunt by showing up. Zack was choking her and Noah shot the gun and scared him away.”
It was too much. On top of everything else it was too much. I put both hands over my eyes and pressed hard, willing away these mental images. It was nearly the last thing I’d expected
to hear him say.
“Honey, come here.” He gathered me close, where I clung.
“Oh God,” I moaned. “Aunt Jilly was scared of Zack, I could tell, and I didn’t even do anything about it…”
“Who is he? Who in the hell is this guy?”
“Remember the guy whose canoe you helped load up a few weeks ago?” My voice wouldn’t quit shaking. “He kept stopping out at Shore Leave to sit in her section. He was such a rude asshole, I waited on him a few times, but I didn’t realize he was crazy…that he would hurt her…”
“The college student from Moorhead?” Mathias sounded stunned.
“Where is he now? Did they catch him? I’ll kill him myself,” I raged, angry tears spilling over my face at the thought of anyone harming Aunt Jilly, my pixie auntie.
“I don’t know, your mom didn’t say. Everyone is with her right now. Millie is with your grandma. I guess Blythe and Justin took the kids camping at Itasca, and so they weren’t there last night.”
“We’ve got to go home,” I said, in a hurry now, unable to remain im-mobile and helpless. “We can’t stay here a second longer.”
It was just my imagination; surely I couldn’t really hear the wailing cry somewhere in the back of my head.
Malcolm, Cora, forgive me, I thought. Forgive me.
But then my thoughts circled back to something else that Mathias had mentioned and I faltered. “Noah was going to…shoot himself?”
Mathias swallowed and his eyebrows drew together, in abject discomfort at this fact; I could tell guilt was slashing at him the same way it was slashing me. “That’s what your mom said. Honey, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
“He wouldn’t have gone through with it,” I said, trying to believe this was the truth. I could not feel responsible for Noah’s actions. But I did feel pity, and deep regret that he would even consider such a thing. He was my child’s father, whether I liked it or not, and he felt terrible enough last night that he had intended to remove himself from her life, permanently. I shuddered. “I better call Mom.”
Mathias sheltered me against his chest for one more minute. He felt so good, so warm and solid. He kissed the top of my head and whispered, “Let’s get loaded up, love, and we’ll get going, all right? I’ll call Harry and Meg, too. We’ll tell them there’s an emergency back home.”
“We’ll miss you something fierce around here,” Clark said, hugging the both of us. The boys were all lined up like stair steps, waiting for hugs of their own. “Kindred spirits need each other, so you come back soon, promise?”
“We will,” I whispered, hugging everyone in turn.
“Tell your sister that I can’t wait to meet her,” Case said, with a smile, but his eyes were serious.
“We’ll see you in October for the wedding,” Marshall said. “We promise.”
“Are you sure you can’t just move here?” Garth asked.
“Don’t stop looking,” Wyatt whispered in my ear as I bent down to collect him close.
“I won’t,” I promised, brushing hair from his eyes.
“We’ll miss you, too,” I told Clark, hugging him one more time.
“You always have a place to stay here,” he said.
“And you guys, in Landon,” Mathias said.
The mood was so momentarily low that it was a relief when Case said, “Shit, it’s not like we have to ride horseback to see each other. This is the modern age. It’s just a day or so, by car, right?”
Mathias held the door for me and I climbed into the truck. He rounded the hood and climbed beside me, and linked our fingers as we drove east. We stopped in Miles City for supper, as we hadn’t eaten yet today. I called Mom again afterward, sitting outside the little restaurant on a wooden bench, watching as a line of pewter-gray thunderclouds moved from the west, as though tailing us. Mathias was talking with Tina, no more than a foot away from me on the bench.
“Sweetie, there’s no need to race home,” Mom said. “Drive safe. Camp somewhere tonight if you’re too tired.”
“Mom, I’m just so upset. I feel sick about all of this. Is Aunt Jilly all right?”
“She’s been resting today. Justin is at her side, don’t you worry.”
“Any news on…” I could hardly bear to say his name.
“No,” Mom whispered. “But they’ll find him. He can’t hide forever. Apparently a man with the same name was a suspect in conjunction with the disappearance of a girl in St. Louis, two years ago.”
“Oh God,” I said. Mom hadn’t mentioned this when we spoke earlier.
“Hey,” Mom said, changing tone abruptly. “It’s all right, baby girl. Millie is here with me, and Blythe and the kids are home, and it’s going to be all right. You and Mathias drive safe. Don’t rush. We’re just fine here. Grandma and Ellen send their love.” Mom didn’t mention Noah this time, so I didn’t either; she had told me before we left the Rawleys’ that he was home with his parents, and that they weren’t planning to leave him alone anytime soon.
“I love you,” Mom said.
“Love you, too,” I whispered, and hung up. Beside me, Mathias ended the call with Tina at almost the same moment. He wrapped me in his arms.
“We’ve had such sunny days, I guess we deserve a little soaking,” he said, nodding in the direction of the approaching storm.
“It is gorgeous here, there’s no denying,” I said, resting my head on his chest. “But I am so glad to be going home. I miss Millie Jo, and I miss our little cabin.”
“I wish we were sitting on our porch there right now,” he agreed. “What did Joelle say?”
“She said not to rush.” I realized something and cried, “Shit, I forgot to get that picture back from Case! The one of Tish and Ruthie.”
“I’m sure he’ll take good care of it, unless Marshall steals it from him,” Mathias said, smiling at my concern. “But all the same, maybe don’t tell Tish.”
“Yeah, she probably wouldn’t find that particularly romantic,” I agreed.
“We can drive straight through if you want. That’s what I was thinking.”
“I’ll take a turn driving, so you don’t get too tired.”
“Don’t you worry about me,” he said.
“I don’t mind,” I insisted. “You drove the whole way here.”
Mathias surrendered the wheel and despite his words, was dozing within a half hour of leaving Miles City. It was July and the evening was long, but the rain closed in, overtaking us and creating an early darkness. I turned on the windshield wipers and dropped our speed; we seemed to be the only traffic on the slick, wet road, but still. The highway always worked to mesmerize me and my thoughts were so jumbled, snarling together as I thought of Aunt Jilly, and Cora, and Malcolm…
The truck rolled past a little road sign announcing Terry, population 605. It was just as this crossed my vision that I knew I needed to turn left. I knew it. I slowed, clicking on the blinker, and took the next turn, not allowing myself to question this action. The gravel road led us back almost the way we’d come, vaguely northwest, but I was overtaken by an intensity that I could not define. I looked over at Mathias, sleeping peacefully against one of our bed pillows from home, and decided I would let him rest. The first road sign I saw indicated I was driving over Highway 253. The countryside was rugged out the windows, obscured by a steady rain. I searched the landscape for any indication of something that could help me make sense of what the hell I was doing.
Camille, this is so stupid. Turn around. It’s getting late and you’re doing no good.
But there’s something…
Something’s here…
Cold fingers plucked at my heart. When a small animal, maybe a possum or raccoon, darted in front of the tires, I shrieked and stomped on the brakes, startling Mathias awake. He jolted straight and his left arm came across my chest at once, as though to hold me back from danger.
“Are you all right?” he demanded, fearful.
I clutched the steering wheel, my kn
uckles forming white peaks; the truck was halted in the middle of the road. Rain streaked the windows as though the sky was weeping in long, continuous sobs. It was dark as midnight. Mathias unbuckled and slid across the bench seat.
“Pull over,” he said, and I did. “Where are we?”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I had never felt less sane in my life but I could feel it all around us now, the intensity of the pulling. A line along the skin over my ribcage seemed to burn. I babbled through an explanation. “I took a left back near a town called Terry, I don’t know why exactly, I just felt like I should…”
“I know the town,” he said, holding me close in the dim glow of the dashboard lights. “Honey, what’s going on?”
“She’s here, she’s somewhere close. Oh my God…”
Mathias didn’t question how I knew this; he only asked, “Where?”
“She’s pulling me. I can feel her pulling me. I have to go out there.”
Before he could say otherwise, I opened the driver’s side door and stepped into the rain. The air was rife with the scent of soaking earth, rich and loamy and overwhelming. The sky hung low and sullen; the scrubby brush in the ditch appeared sharp and menacing. Mathias followed right behind, catching me around the waist.
“You need different shoes!” he yelled over the sound of the wind.
He hauled me back into the truck, where I traded my sandals for sturdier tennis shoes. My hands shook so badly that I could hardly tie the laces, but I was in a hurry now, intent with purpose.
“Come on,” I said.
“Wait!” he ordered, keeping me from forward movement with both hands around my waist. “I believe you, but this is country I don’t know well and it’s dark.”
The burning in my side increased. “We can’t wait! She’s so close, Thias, I can feel her.”
“Which way?” he asked, and I was heartened that he understood this was real. He considered another moment, looking out the windshield. Reaching a decision, he fished out our jackets and a flashlight and said, “We’ll look, but you stay close to me. Stay right behind me.”
Wild Flower Page 28
