by Joyce Meyer
I have told you these things, that My joy and delight may be in you and that your joy and gladness may be of full measure and complete and overflowing.
John 15:11
Up to this time you have not asked a [single] thing in My Name [as presenting all that I AM]; but now ask and keep on asking and you will receive, so that your joy (gladness, delight) may be full and complete.
John 16:24
And now I am coming to You [Father]; I say these things while I am still in the world, so that My joy may be made full and complete and perfect in them [the disciples] [that they may experience My delight fulfilled in them, that My enjoyment may be perfected in their own souls, that they may have My gladness within them, filling their hearts].
John 17:13
Jesus wants us to experience enjoyment in our souls. It is important to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Proverbs 17:22 says, A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.
It is God’s will for us to enjoy life!
Now it is time to decide to enter into the full and abundant life that God wills for us. Joy and enjoyment are available, just as misery is available. Righteousness and peace are available, and so are condemnation and turmoil. There are blessings and curses available, and that is why Deuteronomy 30:19 tells us to choose, and to choose life and blessings.
There are many blessings available to God’s children of which they never partake. The Promised Land was always available, and yet the Israelites wandered around in the wilderness forty years. Deuteronomy 1:2 states that the geographical distance of their journey was actually an eleven-day trip.
They were all around the Promised Land, close to it, even at the border, but refused to go in. They sent in spies to see if it was really as good as it sounded, but they did not enter. And the Bible tells us the reason they did not enter was unbelief. (Heb. 4:6 KJV.)
They simply would not believe what God told them. Therefore, they disobeyed Him. They walked in their own way, and their willful disobedience stole their joy. They wandered around in the wilderness murmuring, complaining, discouraged, fearful, impatient, filled with self-pity, blaming God and Moses for their situation.
Just think of how close they were all those forty years to the good life God had promised, but they refused to enter in. We must enter in, but to do so requires a daily decision — a strong, quality decision — not a weak, half-hearted, “we’ll see what happens” decision.
There are different qualities and strengths of decisions, and any person who desires to live in the joy that Jesus said we could have will need to understand that he must be determined and ready to watch for all the thieves of joy. Also, he must be willing to make some radical changes in his approach to life’s situations, as well as his lifestyle.
If you are hungry for true joy and enjoyment, if you are ready to learn to enjoy everything — even the seemingly mundane — then read on. If you are ready to enjoy the trip, open your heart to God and ask Him to show you all the things that are stealing your enjoyment.
As we continue, I will be sharing insight into many of the things that God has shown me to be thieves of joy in my own life. Some of them will speak to you, I am sure. Others may not fit your personal situation as well as they did mine, but the principles can be applied anywhere you need them.
This essay by Robert J. Hastings was given to me years ago, and I believe it expresses the point very well.
The Station
“Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train.
“Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.
“But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there our dreams will come true, and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
“How restlessly we pace the aisles … waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
“‘When we reach the station, that will be it,’” we cry.
“‘When I’m 18 …’
“‘When I buy a new 450SL Mercedes-Benz …’
“‘When I put the last kid through college …’
“‘When I have paid off the mortgage …’
“‘When I get a promotion …’
“‘When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after.’
“Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip [emphasis mine]. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.
“‘Relish the moment’ is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24 (KJV), This is the day which the Lord hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.
“It isn’t the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.
“So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less.
“Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.”3
3
Regret and Dread
I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.
Philippians 3:13,14
Regret of the past and dread of the future are both “thieves of joy.”
Let’s examine each of them in detail to learn what causes them and how to avoid them as we continue our quest to enjoy the abundant life that God has provided for us through His Son Jesus.
Regret
Many people stay trapped in the past. There is only one thing that can be done about the past, and that is forget it.
When we make mistakes, as we all do, the only thing we can do is ask God’s forgiveness and go on. Like Paul, we are all pressing toward the mark of perfection, but none of us has arrived.
I believe Paul enjoyed his life and ministry and this “one aspiration” of his was part of the reason why. Like us, he was pressing toward the mark of perfection, admitting that he had not arrived, but having insight on how to enjoy his life while he was making the trip.
That is a lesson we all must learn, as I can attest from personal experience. Let me illustrate.
My husband has always enjoyed sports, and I have never enjoyed them. He loves to watch ball games on television when he is home, which I used to hate because I felt it left me with nothing to do. So I would choose to “work.” After all, if someone is enjoying his life, and you’re not, a fleshly response can be to “work” in front of him while he is having a good time. Maybe it will make him feel guilty!
At least that is the way our carnal mind operates.
Our family had been to church one Sunday morning, and I was wondering what Dave had planned for the afternoon. I already had a bad attitude in my heart before I even asked the question because the NBA playoffs had been on television for two weeks, and he had been watching the games every night.
A bad attitude usually comes across in voice tone and body language. I asked the question, already angry about the answer I knew was coming. I certainly did not give God a chance to get involved because I already had a day of disaster mapped out in my mind.
We would go home and I would fix lunch, clean up the mess while the kids played, and Dave would watch another basketball game. Then I would clean the house (because all I ever do is wor
k)!
While I was thinking about all this as we drove down the road, my daughter asked, “Daddy, are we going to get that new baseball channel on the cable network so we can watch baseball all the time?”
“I don’t know,” Dave responded, “I haven’t made up my mind yet. I need to find out what it costs.” And then he said, “Maybe we’ll get rid of the Disney Channel and get the baseball channel instead. I never see anyone watching the Disney Channel anyway.”
Immediately I chimed in with, “Danny watches the Disney Channel all the time, and you are not going to get rid of that for another baseball channel!”
Dave said something that I quickly responded to, then he said something else, and I said something back. Our voices got louder and louder until we were yelling at each other. By the time we got home, we were both angry, and the kids were upset because we were upset.
I waited for two hours for Dave to apologize to me, and he was not showing any signs of repentance. I fixed lunch, slamming bowls onto the table, making all the noise I could, and hoping to show my displeasure by my obvious upset. When the family came to the table to eat, I said I wasn’t hungry and went to another room in the house. After they had finished eating, I cleaned the kitchen, then I proceeded to noisily clean the rest of the house.
I was already in ministry at the time, and I was scheduled to teach Bible college classes the next day at our church. I needed to prepare for my lesson, and it is impossible for me to study the Bible if I do not have total peace in my heart. I cannot approach God properly while I am angry at anyone. I knew that I needed to get beyond where I was emotionally, and it had become obvious that Dave was not feeling inclined to make the first move.
Finally, after telling God several times that I thought He should make Dave come and apologize to me, I reluctantly said, “All right! I’ll go and apologize to him.”
I went out where Dave was watching the ball game in the family room. The first time I walked by him, I just could not bring myself to say, “I’m sorry,” so I went to the kitchen and then tried again to come back through. I was hoping to get something out of my mouth this time, but failed again.
I was so angry and so full of stubbornness that I felt I was about to explode. Yet God was dealing with me to make peace with my husband. I thought maybe I would exercise a while. I got out a piece of exercise equipment called a rebounder (a sort of mini-trampoline) and began to jump on it in the kitchen, thinking, “Well, maybe Dave will hear me out here and come out and apologize.”
I had the rebounder sitting in the corner and had turned my face to the wall because I did not want to look at anyone who might come through the kitchen. My son Daniel, who was four years old at the time, came in and asked, “Mommy, why are you hiding from us?”
“I’m not hiding,” I answered.
“Yes you are!” he replied. “You’re jogging with your face in the corner.”
That remark made me realize that I needed to grow up and stop acting like a baby. I knew I needed to get out of the corner and quit pouting. I went to Dave, and even though I still couldn’t seem to say anything, I did bend over and kiss him.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too,” I answered, “but I would like to knock your head off,” to which he replied, “I know, but you’ll get over it.”
We laughed, I went to the kitchen, ate my lunch and then went on to study.
What can be done about a situation like this once it has occurred? Nothing! The only thing to do is forget it and go on. Of course, I asked God to forgive me, but even after we ask for His forgiveness, we still have to choose to accept it and forgive ourselves, forget what has happened and go on with our lives.
I had already wasted about half my day by choosing to have a fleshly reaction to a family disagreement. Now the question was, what would I do with the rest of my day?
Until we learn to forget our mistakes and refuse to live in regret of the past, we will never really enjoy life.
Mistakes are a regular part of life, and I spent many years hating myself for each of my failures. I desperately wanted to be a good Christian. I wanted to please God. But I still thought it was my perfect performance that would please Him. I had not yet learned that He was pleased with my faith.
In Hebrews 11:6 we read, But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. …
Even when we make mistakes and waste precious time as a result of those mistakes, being upset when we could be enjoying life, it is useless to continue being miserable for an extended period of time because of the original mistake. Two wrongs never make anything right.
I had already wasted part of my day, I had apologized, and all was well, but I had to resist the temptation to spend the second half of my day regretting the first half.
If you made a mistake twenty years ago or ten minutes ago, there is still nothing you can do about it except ask for forgiveness, receive it, forget the past and go on. There may be some restitution you can make to the individual you hurt, and, if that is the case, by all means do so. But the “bottom line” is that you still must let go of the past in order to grasp the future. Until you do so, you will not enjoy life the way God intended when He sent Jesus.
Always remember that regret steals now!
God has called us to a faith walk. Faith operates in the now — at this time.
I believe that God has taken care of my past and my future, therefore, I do not have to live in regret or dread.
Hebrews 11:1 states, Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].
This Scripture begins with the word “now.” Although I know that the Greek word from which it is translated actually means “but, and, etc.,”1 rather than “at this point in time,” I still believe the term can be used to describe faith itself.
Faith operates now!
Without faith, I cannot enjoy my life. Every time I lay aside my faith and stop believing, I lose my peace, and as soon as I lose my peace, my joy goes with it.
There are many things we may find ourselves regretting.
One morning Dave woke me up at the usual time, and I had not had as much sleep as I needed so I decided to sleep a little while longer. I normally get up by 6:00 A.M., but this particular morning I said, “Let me sleep another forty-five minutes.”
When Dave woke me up forty-five minutes later, the first thing I felt and thought was regret that I had not gotten up earlier.
You must understand that this is the way the devil works. God will tell you what you are about to do wrong, so you can change your mind before you make a mistake. Satan waits until it’s too late, when you can no longer do anything about it, and then tries to bring regret and ultimate condemnation upon you.
If it was going to be wrong for me to sleep an additional forty-five minutes, God would have, by His Spirit, made that point clear in my heart before I went back to sleep. He would not have waited until there was nothing I could do about it, and then fill me full of regret so I could not enjoy the rest of my day.
Even if you should oversleep, or go back to bed when in fact you should have been up early, regretting that situation is still not the answer. Repent, ask God to help you use more discipline and self-control the next time and then go on. If you have already wasted part of your day, getting sleep you did not actually need, there is no point in wasting more of it, regretting the part you have already wasted.
Have you ever eaten a meal at a restaurant and then spent the next few hours regretting that you had even gone there? Maybe the food did not really taste good to you, or perhaps you got poor service. You may have lost a lot of time or the atmosphere may not have been very nice. In any case, once the food was in your stomach, it didn’t do any good to regret that you had spent your money on it.
This is one lesson I had to learn for mys
elf because I am particular about what I eat. When I sit down to a meal, I like things a certain way. I like my coffee fresh, my food hot, my salads crisp, etc. Traveling as we do places Dave and me in many restaurants that we hope and pray are good, but we never know for sure until it’s too late to change our minds.
I have had to learn to say, “Oh, well, it’s only one meal out of many meals I will eat in my lifetime. I wish it had been better, but I’m not going to spend my time regretting that I went there.”
You will find many areas in your own life in which Satan tries to cause you regret, which is one of the thieves of joy. Don’t let him use regret to steal your enjoyment any longer.
Dread
Dread does the same thing to us that regret does, except that dread places us in the future, whereas regret puts us in the past.
I spent a lot of years with regret pulling on one arm and dread pulling on the other. The result was that I felt like I was being pulled apart, and I didn’t even know what the problem was.
That is one of the reasons it makes me so happy to be able to share these truths with you, because I believe you can learn from my mistakes and avoid a lot of the misery I endured. Regret and dread are ruining the lives of multiplied thousands of people by stealing their joy and their enjoyment.
Perhaps when you began reading this book you were unhappy, discontented and lacking joy, and you had no idea why. I pray that your eyes are being opened.
I believe that sharing truth is one of the ways that Jesus opens blind eyes. Sometimes the blind eyes He opens are not physically blind eyes, but spiritually blind eyes.
Sometimes we think we need a miracle in our situation when what we truly need is a miracle of revelation that will change our attitude and alter our approach to life.
Dreading things can be a habit, an attitude that develops out of lethargy or laziness. Procrastination and dread often work together. An upcoming task is dreaded, so procrastination says, “Put it off until later.” That sounds good for a few minutes, but the thing is still there to be dreaded until it is finished. It would be far better to do it and be free to go on to other things.
