“Would any of you care for some coffee?” Amanda asked, regaining her composure as Sarah spread out an extra blanket.
“Don’t mind if we do,” the elder Mr. Randolph said, kneading his bearded jaw. He assisted his wife, then settled his solid bulk between her and their son as they accepted the proffered refreshment.
“Mm. Tastes mighty good,” the old man commented. “Near as good as Minnie’s, if I do say so.”
His spouse beamed in agreement. “Reason we come by,” she said, centering her attention on Amanda, “is to invite you an’ your sister to come to California with us when we take the cutoff.”
Aware of the woman’s son on the fringe of her vision, Amanda blanched. “We—”
She held up a gnarled hand. “I know, the store an’ all. But seems like the Good Lord’s layin’ a real good chance at your feet. You won’t know a soul when you get to Oregon, and more’n likely, folks who’ve suffered the hot sands and dry waste of the desert will be needin’ clothes as much as anybody else. Might be, you could even happen across a few nuggets of gold to help get you started. We’ll be passin’ nigh Sutter’s Fort on the way to our new place, a handful of miles farther.”
“I’ve been considering heading off on that fork myself,” Jared announced out of the blue before Amanda had opportunity to reply. “I was gonna make you and Sarah Jane the same offer.”
Sarah, raising her mug to her lips, halted midway and lowered it to her lap instead.
Amanda had never once considered branching off the main trail and settling in California. Her sights had been fixed on Oregon since before leaving Independence. She looked to Sarah for a response and found her sister’s expression unreadable as the younger girl stared at Alvin Rivers’s wagon.
“My other offer still stands, too,” Jared told Amanda quietly when the others began talking among themselves.
It was all too much to take in at once. Amanda felt torn in two. Either route had definite merit as well as dreaded pitfalls. But she wasn’t exactly up to committing her entire future in marriage just yet, either. Looking to her sibling once more, her gaze drifted above Sarah’s shoulder and happened upon Seth Holloway, exiting the fort’s general store with his partner. That same instant, his attention flicked her way. He tipped his head slightly in Amanda’s direction and said something to Mr. Hanfield. They both laughed.
Amanda set her jaw. One good thing about the Lord, she reasoned, He always provides a way of escape, just as He promised in First Corinthians. With a glance encompassing the Randolphs,-Jared Hill, and her sister, she hiked her chin. “We’ll do it. We’ll go to California!”
“You’re not serious!” Alvin snapped his sketchpad closed in the only true display of his temper Sarah had ever witnessed. His charcoal pencil and blending stick fell unheeded to the sandy ground outside the fort, where he’d been working on a new landscape.
“I’m afraid I am,” she replied, shielding her eyes from the bright sun. “When the wagon train leaves this fort tomorrow morning, Mandy and I have decided to take the California Trail with the Randolphs, Mr. Hill, and whoever else will be splitting off from the company.”
“But why would you do a fool thing like that?” Not to be put off, he sidled up to her, his fingertips lightly grazing up and down her forearm. “For—gold? I’m already in line for a considerable fortune, you know. I’m not about to waste weeks and months grubbing through a bunch of rocks and mud for a few paltry nuggets.”
“I never suggested you should.”
His movements halted. “I see.” The light that dawned in his head was almost visible in his eyes and lent them a steely glitter. “So this is good-bye, then. Fare thee well and all that.”
Sarah nodded, brushing aside a loose tendril the fall breeze whisked over her face. “I thought I’d tell you now, while there’s still time to talk. But please don’t think ill of me, Alvin. I’ll always remember you. I’ll think back with pleasure on the happy times we shared on this journey. And I truly hope one day you’ll find someone who’ll fulfill all your dreams. She’ll be a very fortunate person.”
“Indeed.” A smirk lifted a corner of his mouth. “I thought I already had.”
“No.” Slowly shaking her head, Sarah smiled thinly. “There was only room in your heart for me. My dream is to be part of a family… the bigger the better. To bear children and watch them grow and have children of their own. Even if I were poor and had to scratch for my existence I could never settle for less than that.”
He raked long fingers through his wiry curls and shook his head. Then, reaching for both her hands, he pulled her into a warm hug, his heart beating against hers for several seconds until finally he eased her to arm’s length. “I’ll tell you one thing, Sarah Jane Shelby. If it were a few years down the line and I’d already been to the places I plan to see, I just might be tempted to settle for a piece of that dream of yours. But not right now.”
She smiled sadly.
Alvin paused and searched her face as though committing it to memory. Then he raised her chin with the edge of an index finger and lightly brushed her lips with his. “Well, do be happy, little friend. Any young lady who happens across my path in the future is sure going to have a lot to measure up to. Who knows, perhaps one day we’ll meet again, and you’ll be able to show me your brood of little ones.”
Fighting tears, Sarah could only attempt to smile as she took his hand and squeezed it in mute silence. Then she turned away and walked slowly back to the gate.
Amanda braced her heart against even a twinge of regret the next day as the cutoff to California loomed ever nearer. Ignoring an inner sense of guilt over not having prayed about her rash decision, she purposefully closed her mind to scenery and everyday matters and focused on the future, on the blessed time when she would no longer be forced to suffer the unbearable presence of wagon master Holloway. She determined not to even announce her change in plan to the man. Likely he would be relieved anyway that she and Sarah would no longer be his responsibility. And Amanda had no desire to provide another opportunity for him to gloat. Nor would she permit her gaze to seek him out during nooning stops or evening camps. Whatever strange fascination she might have felt toward the man, it was time it died a quick, natural death. So decided, she ceased the solitary evening walks she had previously enjoyed and expended the supreme effort required to center her attention within the three- or four-yard circumference around her person. After all, she had mules to tend, meals to cook and clean up. It would do well to get used to being with the lesser number of travelers who would be turning off at the split tomorrow.
That night at the campfire, Deacon Franklin prayed for those who on the morrow would part company with the remainder of the Oregon Trail travelers. Reflecting on his thoughtful words afterward, Amanda finally willed herself to sleep. Morning dawned in grayness, and Amanda drew perverse pleasure that it matched her mood. After what seemed an interminable length of time to dispose of breakfast and early chores, the signal finally sounded to roll.
“This is it,” Sarah breathed, her excitement barely concealed. With Bethany on one side of her and Tad on the other, she waved to their father and began walking at a brisk pace.
Amanda mustered all her resolve. Tonight, camped on at new trail, her heart would sing a victory song. She was sure of it. Refusing to acknowledge the silly tear that teetered over her lower lashes and plopped onto her hand, she clucked the team forward.
Riding at the rear end of the column, Seth watched the company dwindle as, one by one, wagons turned off onto the California Trail, taking along several head of cattle that they had cut out of the herd earlier this morning. Granted, some folks retained sense enough to continue on to Oregon Territory, but out of the nearly thirty families who had begun this journey at Independence three months ago, it appeared only a handful would stay with the original plan.
Oh well, he mused, it would make the job easier on him, Red, and the scouts. There were some pretty rugged mountains yet to be crossed
. He shook his head. The hardships on this route were nothing compared to what lay ahead of those gold-crazy fools. His friend, Thomas Fitzpatrick, had related some amazing tales of overlanders he had bossed across that frying pan.
Only three wagons had yet to come to the branch. Seth watched the Randolphs turn off. He’d known from the onset their destination was to be northern California. He’d found Nelson Randolph a decent man, one who had acquired respect from a lot of the folks during this journey. Having a son come to meet them with the foresight to trail a string of extra mules and water, Seth figured the old couple would make out okay—provided the heat didn’t do them in.
Nearby, a bony heifer meandered away from the fringe. Seth nudged his mount in that direction and brought the wanderer back in line.
He glanced ahead once more, and his heart lurched. The Shelby cart had veered onto the southerly trail toward the Raft River—with that widower, Hill, right behind!
A battle raged as Seth fought the irrational desire to chase after Amanda and spare her from the horrific dangers of that route. After all, he had somewhat enjoyed playing rescuer once. But on the other hand, he reminded himself, she was no longer his responsibility now—wasn’t that what he’d wanted all along?
He shifted grimly in the saddle and watched the rickety cart growing smaller in the distance. Once Amanda crossed the river, she would be on her way to an entirely different world.
Leaving his own profoundly empty.
CHAPTER 19
Sarah Jane studied her sister as Amanda walked with the children along the blistered sagebrush trail. For days, ever since they had foregone their original plan and taken the California branch, Amanda had been moody and quiet. She seemed to be doing her best to be cheerful around Bethy and Tad and polite to Jared and the Randolphs… but she had changed drastically after her near drowning.
Before the incident Amanda had been her normal, jovial self most of the time. Even inwardly happy, as if she had come to terms with the shameful way Pa’s dastardly partner had humiliated them all, before thoughts of heading west ever came up. For some time, now, there’d been nary a shred of the bitterness only Sarah could discern in her sibling’s eyes. That close brush with death had disturbed Amanda far more deeply than she let on. With a deep sigh, Sarah sent a prayer aloft that God would bring her sister through this hard time.
That night she waited until Amanda’s even breathing indicated sleep, then lit a candle and opened her journal to the next page.
Dear Diary,
In my worst imaginings, I never would have dreamed a more sterile, desolate region than is all around us on this California Trail. After crossing the river, we descended upon a landscape consisting entirely of burnt rocks and cinders. High, blackened cliffs towered above our camp the first night.
We found surprisingly good grass and water when we reached the Humboldt River, whose benefits we enjoyed for nearly two weeks—but one day it disappeared into a most distressing alkali swamp, and we left it behind to make our way across a vast sea of hot sand.
The sun beats down upon us mercilessly, sucking the very moisture from our bodies, while the wagon wheels churn up an unbearable cloud of dust. It coats man and beast alike from head to foot, filling our nostrils and burning our eyes. How I yearn to see another glorious waterfall like those we passed after departing Fort Hall.
A snore drifted her way from the confines of the Randolph wagon. Sarah peeked around to see if the sound had roused any of the others, then resumed her writing.
We should reach the mountains tomorrow. We’ve been looking at them for the past two days as they sat on the horizon like a mirage. Hopefully there will be water there—and grass for our poor, weary animals. Mandy and I both long to see the end of this journey.
A cool gust of night wind caused Sarah to shiver. Marveling at the vacillating desert temperatures, she tucked the journal away and snuggled deep into her covers.
It was a delightful treat to camp beside a stream again, to have actual shade and lush grasses. For one whole day, the company rested, bathed, and washed clothing in readiness for the trek up the rugged mountain trail.
Amanda had never enjoyed a bath so much—even such a cold one. After the tortures of the desert, she was beginning to feel her spirit come to life again. It seemed the passing of miles helped ease the ache in her heart as well, but she knew it would take some time before it dissipated completely… if ever. Surely the worst of the journey must be over. Traipsing back toward the cart with some wet laundry draped over her arm, she saw Jared staring her way as he leaned against the trunk of a tree. “Jared,” she said pleasantly.
“Amanda.” He tossed a handful of pebbles aside that he’d been rolling around in his hand. “Mind if we talk a spell? Your sister’s got the kids.”
“Not at all.” But a trickle of uneasiness crept along her spine. She carefully laid the clothes on the grass.
Jared sank to the ground and brushed a spot smooth for her, then offered a hand. “Give any more thought to the offer I made a while back?” he asked, his long face becoming serious as he came right to the point.
She chewed the inside corner of her lip and nodded.
“And?” he prompted.
Turning to him, Amanda let out a nervous breath. Loath as she was to hurt the man, leading him on would be ten times worse. “I cannot accept it,” she said softly. “I’m truly sorry.”
Jared stared at her for a timeless moment, then expelled a resigned breath as he looked off into the distance. “Figured as much.”
“Somehow, I knew you might,” she replied, “but I also knew you probably wouldn’t understand my reasons.”
He plucked a handful of grass and let the breeze take a few blades. “Mind if I ask what they are?”
“One of them, you might be surprised to hear, is love.” At his perplexed expression, she went on. “I’ve grown to love you a lot, on this journey, Jared… but it isn’t the right sort of love to build a life on.”
“Sure about that?”
She nodded. “I told you once that I had no plans ever to marry, and that’s truer now than the day I said it. You’re an incredible, wonderful man. You deserve a wife who will love you with all her heart… and it wouldn’t be fair for me to stand in her way.”
Jared slowly filled his lungs, obviously mulling her words over in his mind. Averting his gaze once more, he cocked his head back and forth. “Well, I only asked you to consider it. I’ll do my best to accept your decision. Even if I don’t agree.”
“One day you will,” Amanda said with a smile. “You’ll see.”
“It’d be a shame not to share some of these apple fritters,” Amanda remarked, “after hoarding the last of our dried apples so long. “She gathered several and wrapped them in a cloth.
Sarah tried to ignore a peculiar awkwardness within as her sister left her and Jared and crossed the small wagon circle toward the Randolphs, seated around their own evening fire. “You’ve gotten to be a mighty fine cook, Sarah Jane,” the widower said, popping the final bite of his own fritter into his mouth. “You and Amanda both.” He refilled his mug from the coffeepot and relaxed against the wheel of his Conestoga.
More than a little aware of Jared’s presence and close proximity, the scant width of a blanket from her, Sarah Jane tried not to blush as her eyes met his. She wished she had courage enough to lose herself in their sad blue depths, but quickly looked away instead. “I think Sissy and I are more surprised than anyone! You would not believe the awful fare we had to choke down when we first started out on the trail. Of course,” she rambled on in her nervousness, “we had a pretty good teacher in Mrs. Randolph. She’s taught us a lot.”
“Fine woman.”
“Yes. A great friend. Mandy thinks the absolute world of her and her husband after all they’ve done for us. That’s probably the main reason she wanted to share our dessert with them tonight.”
He nodded, idly taking another gulp of the strong brew.
“M
r. Hill—”
“Jared,” he corrected. “Fits better.”
Sarah swallowed. “I know,” she said breathlessly. “It’s just that—Well—You’re so much older than the boys I’ve been around all my life.”
He gave her a pained look.
She wanted to crawl into a hole. “I—I don’t mean you’re old. Not at all.”
A chuckle rumbled from deep inside his chest.
Drawing a huge breath to calm herself, Sarah tried again. “What I mean is, you’re different. Not like any man I’ve ever met before. That’s what I was trying to say.”
“Thanks. I think.” A strange grin curved one side of his mouth. “A pity your sister doesn’t share those sentiments.”
“What do you mean? She admires you a lot.”
“Right.” His sarcasm was evident.
“Truly.”
“Just not enough to marry me, is all.”
Certain she was dreaming, Sarah’s heart skipped a beat. “Mandy told you that?” She cast a disbelieving look toward the Randolph wagon and held her breath, waiting for his reply.
“Yep. Well, no use bothering a young gal like you with my troubles, is there?” Dumping out the remains of his coffee, Jared got up and brushed off his backside, then stepped over the tongue of his wagon, exiting the circle.
Nibbling her lip, Sarah flicked a cautious glance around to make sure no one was paying them any mind. Then she gathered every ounce of gumption she possessed and rose to follow him, not even sure what she’d say. “I’m not exactly a child, you know,” she blurted, flushing scarlet at being so brazen. What on earth would he think of her?
Jared, about to take a stride, stopped mid-motion and turned.
Sarah’s pulse began to throb. She could barely hear over the rush in her ears. “Just because Mandy’s the oldest, that doesn’t mean she’s the smartest. I—”
A small incredulous smile crept across the widower’s mouth. He didn’t move, didn’t interrupt. His countenance softened considerably as he gazed down at her.
The Brides of the Old West: Five Romantic Adventures from the American Frontier Page 53
