by Ally Decker
"No," he protested, stepping towards her, but he paused when she tensed and took a step back. "Please, don't go."
He had no idea if she overheard his conversation with Nate, or maybe it was because of the phone call. Was it possible that her mother called her about the photos? Could she already know?
Whatever it was, he could feel a growing dread crawling along his back. He couldn't let her leave like this.
"I've already called a taxi," she said quietly, moving towards the door and still not looking at any of them. "It's… It's better this way."
Words got stuck in Shawn's throat as he watched her cross the rest of the way and leave with a soft click of the door.
He blinked once. Twice.
She was still gone.
"That's the part when you go after her," Nate said, pushing his shoulder and waking him up from his stupor.
Shawn rushed to the door. "Don't be here when I'm back," he tossed behind his back, and then he was out of the door.
There was no way he would let it end like this.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Leaving Shawn's apartment was one of the most difficult things Alicia had ever had to do. Hurt was almost choking her, after the conversation with her mom, after Googling the photos, after overhearing Nate saying something about their company's office manager as if she was a job title, nothing else.
She hadn't registered Nate showing up, too busy being berated by her mother, but when she finally finished the call and heard Nate's voice, her first impulse was to crawl under the covers and not come out until the world left her alone and she could pretend the last half an hour hadn't happened.
But she'd swallowed the tears she hadn't allowed herself to spill and put her dress back on slowly, hands shaking as if she was freezing.
Against all odds, she'd been hoping Shawn would come in and everything would be alright. When he hadn't, she'd taken a shaky breath, called a taxi, and then forced herself to leave the room. There was no use dragging out the inevitable.
She'd hoped she would manage to leave with at least a scrap of her pride left, but she almost choked once again when she saw Shawn and Nate in the living room. She mumbled something about leaving, she ignored Shawn's protest, and then she was out of there. And now she was waiting for the elevator, praying it would come quickly, before she started crying in the middle of the corridor.
"Alicia, please, wait."
She hadn't heard him coming, but then Shawn was there, right in front of her, with his wild uncombed hair and his eyes she didn't know how to say no to.
She should. She should go back home and try to forget, at least until Monday, at least until she would have to face him again…
God, how could she have thought she could have a one night stand with him and move on?
"Please don't go," he said quietly when she didn't say anything, and he reached out his hand before letting it fall, never making contact with her skin.
That aborted move felt like a blow. She wanted him to gather her in his arms and not let go, she wanted to sink into him and pretend together that the rest of the world didn't exist.
Behind him, the elevator arrived.
Neither of them moved.
When she braved another look at his face, he was staring right back at her. And what she saw there in his expression…
"Please. Let's at least talk about it." He was whispering now, as if he didn't want to risk breaking their connection as they continued to look at each other.
Alicia nodded. In the end, she couldn't say no—to him and to that part of her that still hoped this fairytale had a way to reach the happy ending.
When they got back to Shawn's apartment, Nate was nowhere to be seen, thank God.
"I've seen the photos," she whispered after they sat down on opposite sides of the couch. She needed to say something to break the silence, and the photos were, improbably, the easier topic.
Shawn grimaced and looked away for a split second.
"I'm sorry about this. I should've—" He ran his hands over his thighs. "I should've thought about it. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too." She bit down on her lower lip. She didn't want to think about her photos being out there on the Internet, so she focused on him instead. "I know you hate they're after you now."
"I don't care about the photos unless they upset you," Shawn told her, leaning his head down a bit to look her straight in the eyes. "I don't like it, but I don't really... I don't care."
She raised her eyebrows at that.
"You cared before," she pointed out. He'd struggled with the whole Sheppard thing, frustrated he'd been dragged into it. He'd had to rearrange his whole life. She couldn't believe he suddenly didn't care.
"I did," he admitted, nodding. "But that was different."
"Different?"
"I was angry they were out to get me, to catch me doing something bad, something that would fit into their narrative about the Sheppards. That's different than being photographed with a person..."
"You slept with?" Alicia supplied quietly when he drifted off.
Her throat tightened as he drew back, frowning.
"You think all I want from you is to sleep with you?" He shook his head. "That's not… That's not true."
Oh. The relief almost made her dizzy.
"What do you want, then?" Alicia forced the question out, and pushed to keep going. "Because I don't know. I don't know what you want me to do here."
Now, when he reached out, he didn't pull back. He caught her hand in his and squeezed her fingers. "I want you to stay," he said, no longer whispering. He sounded certain, as if he'd already made up his mind. "I want you to stay so we can talk longer about this, about us. Then for the breakfast I promised you. Then, I'd like to spend more time with you, doing whatever you want to do." He paused for a brief second. "I want you to stay."
Alicia blinked a few times and tried to control her rapidly beating heart.
He reached out with his free hand and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, and she bit her lower lip to stop the shiver from his fleeting touch.
"I want you to stay," he repeated once again in a gentle voice, "but only if you want it, as well."
She clasped her fingers around his tightly—probably too tightly. "I do," she told him. "I want it all."
His smile spread slowly over his face, and she wished she could kiss him.
You can, the voice at the back of her head reminded her. You're allowed now.
But before she could do anything, Shawn leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, slowly, gently at first, and then more insistent when she returned the kiss.
Alicia let herself go, pushing away everything else but this—his lips, his tongue slipping into her mouth, the touch of his fingers along her neck. She got to have it now. It wasn't just a fantasy any longer.
It was her life.
***
After a long, long while, she moved from the couch to the kitchen to finally eat their forgotten breakfast. Alicia couldn't stop smiling, but from the sight of it, neither could Shawn, so she decided it was okay.
It wasn't until they were finishing their coffees that the conversation came back to them and what they were doing.
"I want to give it a real try," Shawn said, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. "A real relationship. You're not a one-night-stand for me."
Alicia couldn't help herself—she leaned in for another kiss. "Good. That's what I want, too." That's what I wanted for a year, she thought, but didn't say. Maybe, at some point, they would have that conversation, but she wasn't going to admit to it now.
One kiss turned into the next one, and the next one. At some point, they moved back to the bedroom, and for a few seconds, it was like a déjà vu—Shawn pulling her dress off of her and leading her onto the bed, Alicia reaching out for him to pull him closer. Always closer.
But it was different than last night, too.
When Shawn crawled over her, for a moment all they did was star
e at each other, grinning. Alicia was giddy with joy and a heady feeling of him wanting her for more than just one night of passion. There was no place for doubt here, now.
She pulled him down for a kiss and moaned into his mouth as he covered her with his body, a comfortable weight of him pushing her down on the mattress. She ran her hands up and down over his skin, feeling dips and contours of his muscles and bones under her touch. She'd daydreamed about it enough—at home, at the gym as she watched him practice and, occasionally, at work. And now she was free to do it, to learn him by touch the way she'd wanted to for so long. Last night was just the beginning.
Now, Alicia discovered how sensitive the back of his neck was.
Now, Shawn learned that brushing his stubble over the delicate skin of her thighs was a perfect way to bring her close to an orgasm.
Now, she realized the sex could be more than she'd ever thought it could be.
By the time he finally pushed into her, it was hard to focus on anything other than sparks of hot, sharp pleasure. She was stumbling towards orgasm fast, and she arched her body to meet it, to answer his thrusts and get swept into the wave of pleasure until it crashed and rolled through her again and again.
It took her a while to come down from the high, and when she did, Shawn was there, right next to her with a big smile on his face.
Her body ached in the best of ways, and she couldn't help smiling as well. When he turned onto his side and leaned in to kiss her shoulder, she reached out to pet the hair at the back of his head, but couldn't find the energy to do much else. She was already floating on the verge of sleep.
"You look like you want to take a nap," he told her quietly, lips brushing against her skin.
"Mmmm," she murmured in agreement, and he chuckled before reaching out and pulling the cover over both of them.
"Nap, then."
Alicia went willingly as he turned her to the side and then curled himself against her back. The last thing she remembered was him throwing his arm around her waist.
She fell asleep with a smile on her face.
EPILOGUE
Two days later
Shawn was in a great mood despite the fact that it was a Monday morning, and he was still involved in a very public divorce, being blamed for said marital split.
He had reasons to be happy, though. He'd spent the weekend in great company, on the longest first date of his life. Alicia had gone back to her apartment on Sunday night, and he'd already woken up this morning wishing she was there by his side.
He knew he was moving quickly, but he didn't care. He'd wasted enough time. He didn't want to waste any more.
When he got into the office, he noticed a vacant seat behind Alicia's desk right away, but before he could start to worry, the door to their private conference room opened, and Alicia walked out with a huff.
He grinned at her and opened his mouth to say hello, but her eyes widened when she saw him, and she gestured in a way he didn't know how to interpret.
"Your friends are insane!" Alicia crossed her hands against her chest and glanced towards the room she'd just left.
It wasn't what Shawn expected to happen when they met this morning, but he was good at rolling with the punches.
"Okay?" He walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them gently. "What happened?"
Alicia shook her head. "Dean gave me a talk. A talk."
Shawn could think of only one kind of talk to be given and it involved terrified parents and their teenage kids. He was pretty sure it didn't apply here.
"About?"
"He told me he'd—" She waved her hands again, but finally curled her fingers around his forearms. "—be there for me if I needed to talk to him if you, I don't know, accidentally harass me!"
Shawn blinked once. Then again.
He didn't know what surprised him more—Alicia's raised voice, the sound of someone spitting something in their kitchen, or the laughter that seemed to bubble out of him without his control.
Alicia narrowed her eyes and moved to pull back. "It's not funny."
"It's…" Shawn started but then decided to switch gears. "What do you say we start this again?"
Alicia looked at him for a few seconds before nodding. "Okay."
He smiled and leaned in to drop a short kiss on her lips. "Hey."
"Hey," she answered with a small smile. Progress.
"Everything's okay?"
"Dean took me aside and told me that although he's sure anything that happened between us was consensual, I shouldn't hesitate to come to him if I ever felt..." She frowned. "'Unsafe', I think he said."
Shawn nodded, pulling back from their embrace and leaning against the counter of her desk. "Good. I'm glad. Nate would make things much worse than Dean."
"Aren't you angry?" Alicia asked, circling her desk to take her seat.
"No." He leaned over the counter. "He did what he was supposed to do. I'm technically your boss, and whether he and I are friends or not, we need to take care of our employees."
"Everything we did was consensual," she said, voice low as if she realized they were at the office and anyone could overhear. "I don't need him to—"
"Listen, it's not about suggesting you couldn't handle yourself," Shawn cut in. "Nothing like that. But it needed to be said, and I'm glad he did it."
Alicia sagged and hid her face in her hands as she leaned on her elbows on her desk. "It was embarrassing."
"Hey." He reached out and ran the back of his fingers over hers. "I'm sorry he embarrassed you. He really did do it to make you feel safe."
She looked up at him, sucking in her lower lip for a moment before nodding. "I know. And I appreciate it, I guess."
"You just didn't expect it?"
"Yeah. What I expected was you kissing me during a lunch break, and coffee breaks, and any other break we may have." She lowered her voice. "And there may be a fantasy or two about the couch—"
Someone closed the cabinet door in their kitchenette very loudly, and a moment later, Kevin appeared, looking intently down at his coffee as he passed them. "Hi, guys, bye, guys."
Shawn watched him go for a moment, before turning to look at Alicia, who was bright red.
"Oh my God," she whispered, hiding her face again.
He tried to contain his laughter, biting his tongue. "Let's pick this conversation up during one of these breaks you mentioned, shall we?"
She waved him off with one hand as she was still covering her face with the other.
He walked to his office with a big grin on his face.
***
"So." Shawn paused at Alicia's desk at the end of the day. "What do you say about the second date?"
Her soft smile drew his attention to her lips. "Now?"
"Well, it's a Monday, and someone shared a Monday tradition with me a few weeks ago." Shawn leaned against her desk. "It's a special tradition, you see."
"Oh, really?" She grinned now. "What is it?"
"Well, you need scones—"
"Sold."
Shawn laughed as she turned her computer off and stood up.
"I will have to remember that trick."
"You do that."
He pulled her close as she rounded the desk, and he leaned in for a kiss. "And what about this? Can I do that?"
Alicia pretended to think as she tilted her head to the side. "It's not exactly scones, but—"
Shawn kissed her again just to shut her up. If he needed to 'convince' her some more, he'd gladly do that. Multiple times.
###
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ABOUT ALLY
I'm a writer who fell in love with New York City…
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Copyright 2017 Ally Decker
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All person(s) depicted on the cover are model(s) used for illustrative purposes only.
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