Throughout the day, it was the quiet moments that haunted him. For the most part, he and Cami had been busy decorating. When they weren’t, they were busy exploring each other, making up for lost time.
He couldn’t get enough of her. She was everything he’d ever wanted, and if she’d let him, he’d make her his forever. But that couldn’t happen without clearing the air between them, and he couldn’t hide behind holiday tasks and sex forever. As it was, he’d caught her looking at him with a curious gaze more than a few times. Each time, when he felt her closing in, ready to question him, he’d sweep her into his arms and kiss her senseless. Which usually led to less clothing and no talking.
But the past was creeping in, and he’d inevitably have to answer her questions. About Shelby and how his life had gone so wrong yet so right as the result of one night. Just for it to be stripped away in the blink of an eye.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Cami about his past. He did. It was how she was going to react that made him hesitant. No, that was the lie he told himself. She would accept him with grace and forgiveness. It was his own guilt that haunted him. The knowledge that he’d gone and had the life with Tiffani he should have had with Cami.
He was a coward of the worst kind.
But he wanted to keep her. Wanted Cami in his life the way she should’ve always been.
West knew what he needed to do.
“There. It’s perfect.” Cami stood, hands on her hips, and admired her work. “You ready to help me decorate?”
He faked a smile. Right then he would help Cami finish the tree, and then they could talk. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Cami pulled out a box of silver tinsel and set it on the coffee table between them. Digging into the bottom, she pulled out a handful and giggled as she made a show of tossing some onto the tree.
West’s body froze up and his mind fogged. He dropped the wood and knife in his hands but never heard them hit the floor. Instantly, he was sucked into a memory, one of a million other happy times. A time where it wasn’t Cami playfully tossing tinsel onto the tree, but his baby girl.
Shelby.
She had to have been five. It was the first Christmas that she truly understood what was happening and participated fully in traditions. She’d been fascinated with every aspect of Christmas, wanting to understand why they did each thing.
West had pulled out the box of tinsel and placed it before his little girl. Cami was the only one he had ever known who still put tinsel on a tree. It was her family’s tradition and one he had always loved. He never told Tiffani where the idea came from, but he insisted their tree have tinsel every year.
“But why do we throw this stuff on the tree daddy? It’s messy.”
“It’s messy now, but I promise when it’s on the tree it will be as beautiful as you are, baby girl.”
“But why do we do it?”
“It’s an old tradition. Some say it was used to replace candles on trees. But I was always told it is supposed to look like the starry sky over the Nativity.”
Shelby nodded at him, hanging on his every word with wonder in her eyes. “That’s when Jesus was born.”
“Yes, that’s right.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “When we’re done decorating, we can turn off all the lights except the tree and you can tell me if you think it looks like stars in the sky.”
“Okay, Daddy!” She excitedly hopped from his lap to throw more shiny silver tinsel on the tree.
She definitely over did it, but it was the most beautiful tree he’d ever seen. Every year after that, she’d made it a point to wait for him to tinsel the tree together. It was their special tradition.
At least for three more years. That’s all he got with her. Three more beautiful Christmas trees. Then it was ripped away from him. She was ripped away from him.
Fuck.
“Come sit in my lap, baby girl, let me hold you.”
Shelby continued laughing and putting tinsel on the tree.
This was a memory. Not something he could change. He knew that, but all he wanted to do was hold her tight one more time.
God, was that too much to ask? Just let him hold her one more time.
His chest tightened and he sobbed.
“West?” A voice pulled at him. It wasn’t Shelby. And it wasn’t Tiff.
He didn’t care. He wanted to stay there a moment longer. See her a moment longer.
“West, come back to me.”
That voice. As much as he wanted to stay, the need to follow that voice was stronger.
Who was it?
Cami. It was Cami.
Recognition hit him. He blinked his eyes and tears fell on his cheeks. Quickly, he rubbed them away only to have more fall in their place.
A sob tore through him.
“West, I’m here.”
“Yes, but she’s gone. Shelby’s gone.” Another sob wracked his body.
Arms wrapped around him and he found himself pressed against Cami’s chest. Her heartbeat grounding him.
She held him for God knew how long, running a hand down his back and pressing gentle kisses into his hair. She didn’t push or pry, she just let him sob in her arms.
Fuck he hated she was seeing him like that, but he also knew it needed to come out. He’d been holding onto this pain for so long. Trying to pretend he was okay when he was anything but.
And if he was honest, as much as he hated it, she was the only one he would allow to hold him through it.
“Thank you,” he whispered against her.
“I’ll always be here.” Cami brought a finger to his chin and tipped it up until he was looking at her. “You want to talk about it?”
“No.” And he truly didn’t want to. “But I need to. I need to tell you.”
He untangled himself from her, and Cami tugged a blanket over them. She handed him a glass of water he didn’t remember her getting.
West chuckled. “I think I might need something stronger than that.”
She got up and instead of grabbing the wine, she brought him over a bottle of whiskey. “I figured you’d want the hard stuff.”
“You know the way to my heart.” He uncorked the bottle and took a long sip. “I suppose I should start from the beginning. You asked who Shelby was. She was my daughter.”
Chapter Nine
Whiskey from the bottle had definitely been appropriate.
West had a daughter.
He was a dad. To a sweet little girl.
Tears rimmed her eyes and she blinked them away, searching the room for anything to concentrate on that wasn’t West. She wanted to be strong for him, not have him get the wrong idea about her tears. They didn’t fall because she was angry at him. They fell because she was proud of the man he’d become.
Some women might be upset at the fact he had a whole freaking life without her, the life she was supposed to have with him. Admittedly, she was before he’d told her the whole story. After, though, she believed he’d done the right thing staying with Tiffani. Even if the woman was a complete bitch. One night stand or not, Shelby deserved her daddy in her life and she got the very best.
Cami wished she could have seen him with her.
With as much composure as she could summon, she turned her gaze to West, only to find him focused on the tree in front of him. She still had so many questions but didn’t want to press him too quickly for fear he’d push her away again.
She studied him, worried when he sat for too long boring holes into the tree that he’d fallen into another memory.
Softly, she asked the question eating at her most. “Where is Shelby now? Do you share custody with Tiffani?”
West sucked in a deep breath and shook his head, but still wouldn’t look at her.
“It was late one night in January. I took Shelby out after dinner to celebrate doing well on a spelling test she’d been studying for all week. We got ice cream, her favorite. Mint chocolate chip. She didn’t care that it
was the middle of freaking winter with snow on the ground. Shelby could eat ice cream any time of year.” He chuckled and raked a hand through his hair.
“Driving home, we were laughing and singing one of her favorite songs. It was one of those songs that you hated to love. The kind that got stuck in your head for days. For the life of me I can’t remember how it went, but I remember how it made her smile.
“We were having a great time when I hit a patch of black ice. I didn’t see it.”
West swallowed hard, his breathing erratic. Instinctively, she reached out and took his hand in hers, rubbing gently with her thumb.
His eyes widened when they met hers. “Thank you.”
After a few deep breaths, he continued, “The car skidded across the road. We hit a railing and rolled down an embankment.”
A gasp escaped her lips. West didn’t need to say what happened next. She knew. Everything made sense now. His panic attack in the truck. His need to escape. She considered stopping him but thought better of it. This was just as much about him telling her as it was her hearing it. If they were going to be in each other’s lives again in any sort of meaningful capacity, they needed to be able to witness each other’s lives. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
“EMS arrived quickly. I was trapped in the driver’s seat but told them to help her first. Begged them.”
The tears that welled in her eyes matched those threatening to fall from Wests.
“Later they told me she never had a chance. A faulty seatbelt caused her to be ejected from the car. She died on scene. There was nothing anyone could have done.”
“I’m so sorry, West.”
Not in a million years could she imagine what he’d gone through that night, and probably every moment since.
“Not a day goes by I don’t miss her. I was in a dark place for a very long time after the accident. I didn’t know how to function without her. She was my life. I threw myself into my work and hated coming home. I’m not proud of the man I became while I fought my demons. I was swimming down, trying to find the undertow to take away the pain.
“Tiffani blamed me for the accident. If I’m honest, so did I. It wasn’t until time and therapy opened my eyes that I began to see there was nothing I could have done differently. Still, that didn’t stop Tiffani from stepping out on me when I needed her most. I spiraled and she found other beds to warm. She took the settlement money from the car company and left me.”
“That fucking bitch,” Cami muttered under her breath, which won her a small chuckle from West.
“Not long after, I put in my papers to separate from the Air Force and moved to Los Angeles for a job with a major airline. I’ve been there for the last four years.”
“I wish I could say something to make it better. To take away the pain you must have felt. Still feel.”
West tugged her hand and pulled her into his chest, holding her tight.
“I’m pretty sure I should be the one holding you.”
“Quiet, Cami.”
They sat there for a long time before she dared to ask. “Will you tell me about her?”
“She was hell on wheels.” He chuckled and the sound warmed her heart. Even after the hell he’d been through, West could still laugh. “Shelby was smart, and boy was she funny. Quick with her words, but thoughtful at the same time. Like all daughters, she drove me crazy one minute, then would smile and I was putty in her hands. Almost reminded me of you.”
“She sounds like she was pure perfection.”
“She was.”
“I wish I could have met her.”
“Me, too.” West sighed and placed a soft kiss to the top of her head.
Silence fell between them, but it wasn’t awkward. It was therapeutic. Almost comforting. Like for the first time they were in the same place. On the same page. They weren’t, of course, because she could never fully understand the life he lived while they were apart. But they were now on even footing. Nothing hidden between them.
She didn’t know how long they sat there before she drifted off to sleep, lulled by the rise and fall of West’s chest. Sometime later though, he roused her, placing soft kisses along her jawline.
“Let’s go to bed, Red.”
Chapter Ten
She awoke with a smile and West’s arm snug around her, holding her against his bare chest. West freaking James. Every inch of her body ached, but it was worth it. He’d taken her beneath him so many times yesterday she could still feel the pulsing in her core. Twice before he bared his soul, then twice after he took her to bed. The latter an expression of not only the connection they shared, but the walls they finally broke down between them. It was the most passionate, soul baring experience.
Turning silently, she took in the man sleeping soundly beside her. His thick black lashes dusted his sharp cheekbones, and a five o’clock shadow formed along his jaw and lips, leaving her to wonder what it would feel like when she kissed him awake. She could get used to West with some scruff. She could get used to West permanently.
Beyond looking extremely sexy, for the first time since being with her, he looked peaceful. Which was probably because he had a good night’s rest without a single nightmare. She wanted that for him. More importantly, she wanted him to have that with her.
Cami startled when a loud, upbeat song blared through the cabin. Reaching for the offending phone on her nightstand, she realized it was West’s.
Trying to be helpful, she picked it up to silence it, but when she turned to hand it to him, she saw the caller ID.
A picture of his ex-wife stared at her with the large letters TIFF across the screen.
West grabbed the phone before she could say anything.
“Oh um. I’m...I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pry.” Cami stumbled over her words, embarrassed he caught her gaping at the phone.
West ignored the call and threw the phone over his side of the bed. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
She couldn’t help but worry about it. They had a sordid history and Tiffani was calling mighty early on Christmas Eve.
He rolled on top of her, caging her between his arms. The heat from his very naked body awakening hers.
She whimpered. His hips rocking, pressing his thick cock against her.
“Say, Red.” His voice was sexy, gruff from sleep. “What are the chances you still keep a vibrator in your nightstand drawer?”
All thoughts of Tiffani flew out the window, and Cami pressed herself against him, trying to gain the friction she so desperately wanted. “I guess you’ll just have to look for yourself, won’t you?”
West pushed himself up, leaving her aching where his cock once rested. Slowly, he leaned over. “You’re impatient in the morning.” He bent down, hovering over her naked stomach and kissed her hip bone. Ensuring he didn’t touch her with any other part of him, he trailed kisses up her abdomen. She moaned as the cool air brushed over each spot his lips warmed until he reached her breast and sucked her nipple between his lips. “I’m going to take my time with you. Red for breakfast sounds like the perfect way to start the day.”
“I’m all yours.” Her words were breathy. She arched her back, hoping he would suck her aching bud again, sending electricity straight to her needy cunt.
He smiled, his lips brushing softly against her flesh before leaning over to the nightstand and pulling open the top drawer. “Bingo.” He pulled out her favorite purple vibrator. The one she used on herself many times before with his image in her mind.
West returned to her, pressing his lips against hers. She immediately sucked his lower lip between her teeth, scraping it softly.
“God, you drive me wild.” He sat back, his lips curved into a devilish grin, and openly admired her splayed before him.
The low hum of the vibrator met her ears at the same time he slowly traced it down her collar bone, waking any nerve that wasn’t already on end. He drew lazy circles down her chest, coming close to her peaked nipples, but never quite giving t
hem the full stimulation they ached for.
Cami warred to keep control, the anticipation growing as he made his way to the bundle of nerves between her thighs. She teetered on the edge. He hadn’t even reached the sweet spot, and she felt as though she would explode any moment.
Just when she thought West was going to reward her patience and give her what she so badly needed, there was a knock on the front door.
West snapped his head toward the front of the cabin and muttered “What the hell?”
At the same time Cami whined, “Noooo.”
“Who’s at the door, Red?” He looked at her inquisitively, like she should have some inkling of who was knocking.
“Doesn’t matter. Just go back to what you were doing.”
He chuckled and tipped her nose with his. “Don’t you worry, I will as soon as we make sure we aren’t about to be murdered, since no one should be on the mountain but us.”
She hated that he was right. With a heavy sigh, she rolled out of the bed and shrugged on her robe and slippers, throwing a pair of sweats at West.
“Wait for me. I don’t want you answering it alone.”
Warm fuzzies filled her at the thought of having someone to protect her.
Together they padded down the stairs. Cami peered out the eye hole and all breath left her. “What the fuck?”
It was as if the entirety of the snow outside had been dumped on her, any lingering lustful thoughts she had of West frozen solid.
She couldn’t believe this was happening.
Cami threw open the door, to find an older man she’d known all her life standing on her doorstep. Chief Thompson, the local police chief. Behind him stood a very worried looking brunette.
Tiffani.
“Good morning, Chief. What are you doing here?”
Before he could answer, Tiffani rushed past them and into West’s arm.
“I was so worried about you, Wes. When your mom told me about the accident, I hopped on the first flight out here. You must have been so scared, after everything that happened with Shelby.”
Stocking Stuffers: A Five Story Christmas Anthology Page 7
