by K E Osborn
“I miss her so much. Why doesn’t it get easier?”
Hunter wipes the tears from my cheeks tenderly and sighs. “It’s six years since she died tomorrow, little lamb. It’s hard for both of us. She was such an amazing woman, she made our world better. Don’t be upset for being upset. It’s okay to mourn our mum,” he says and pulls me tighter to him for a hug. I embrace him back needing the comfort, but somehow he’s managed to stem my tears.
“Amber?” a deep soothing voice echoes down the hallway calming me even more.
I pull back from Hunter to see Brax approaching with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips forming a tight thin line. He looks worried.
“I’m sorry. I’m so embarrassed, I ruined Christmas Eve for your family.”
He reaches me and takes me in his arms pulling me to him. “You did no such thing! We understand that this is a hard time for you and Hunter, baby. We aren’t holding any judgment. We just want you guys to be okay. I want you to be okay.”
Swallowing hard while Hunter rubs my shoulder and then he smiles at Brax. “Take care of her,” Hunter says.
Brax nods and pulls me to his chest holding me tightly as humanly possible with one arm. I watch Hunter walk away down the hall leaving me with Brax. I’m still embarrassed, and I hate that I made a mess of myself in front of everyone.
“I really am sorry.”
“Stop that! There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Nuzzling into him I need comfort right now while I think about going back to see his family, but I don’t believe I can.
“I don’t think I can face them all tonight. Can we go to bed and try to get through tomorrow without me making a complete idiot of myself again?”
His hand moves to my cheek and he caresses my face so tenderly it sends a wave of warmth through my soul.
“Amber, stop it! We can go to bed and if tomorrow you’re still not feeling up to it, you, me, and Charli, can spend the whole day in the bedroom if you want. Whatever makes you comfortable and happy. But don’t for one minute think that my family are going to think that you’re an idiot for missing your mother. If anything they love you more for it.”
I sniff and nod as he takes my hand and starts to guide me back to his bedroom. Tonight I need to cuddle him as much as possible and try not to think about the horror that waits for me tomorrow.
The day I will never forget.
The day I lost everything.
The worst day of the year.
Christmas Day.
A gentle kiss to my lips stirs me from my slumber. I’m a little disorientated as my eyes flutter open taking in the darkness and a vision of Brax’s outline hovering over me. Smiling slightly, I rub my tired eyes.
“What time is it?” I ask.
“Just before 7:00 a.m.” Brax’s deep husky voice softly echoes through the room like warm honey.
“Why are we awake so early?”
“It’s Christmas day, and I have a surprise for you.”
I wince at the thought of it being Christmas. My lips turn down, and I exhale resting back into the pillows further wanting them to swallow me. Brax pulls himself out of bed and starts to get dressed.
“C’mon, I want to show you something.” The excitement in his voice isn’t lost on me, and it lifts my spirits. So I take in a deep, steadying breath and sit up getting out of bed, putting on some clothes. I notice Brax getting quite rugged up, so I follow suit putting on an aqua vest, grey sweatshirt, white beanie and a scarf. It’s freezing inside, and by the look of it we might be heading out.
“Where are we going?” I ask as I help Brax put on his shirt, hoodie, and matching aqua vest.
“Just out to the field.”
Suddenly it dawns on me, he said it was nearly 7:00 a.m. Charli should have woken us by now. “Where’s Charli?”
“Mase has her. He took her last night into the guest house in her Portacot.”
I raise my eyebrow and tilt my stature to the side resting my hand on my hip. “Did you arrange that?”
He smirks and nods. “Might have.”
I shake my head as he grabs my hand. “What about your sling?”
“I’ll wear it later.” He pulls me along and we walk to the door and out into the hall.
Shaking my head, thinking he should be looking after his shoulder more, I follow. Brax is tough and his shoulder is recovering really well, considering everything. We walk past the lounge room and the decorations remind me all too well of the loss that today brings. I bite my bottom lip to stop it from trembling. I don’t want to cry again, but I’m having a tough time of holding it together. All I can think about is my mum.
He walks us outside and through the field down to the old oak tree. It’s beautiful out here even though it’s so cold that my breath is turning white with every exhale. Brax wraps his good arm around my shoulders to help shelter me from the frigid air. He comes to a stop and I turn to look up at him wondering why he’s brought me out here. He looks deep into my eyes and I see nothing but love oozing from them. I desperately want to tell him that I love him, but I want him to say it first. Not just in his dreams. He leans down and presses his lips to mine softly, and the warmth of his touch is a welcomed change from the brisk winter air. He pulls back and holds me close looking at me then taking a deep breath.
“I want you to cry,” he says and I furrow my brows and jolt my head back in confusion.
“Huh?”
“Six years ago today your mother passed away.” My bottom lip trembles at the thought and he holds me tighter. “Charlotte was an amazing mother, a brilliant woman and I for one, am so glad she lived because she brought you into this world.” His words are so kind and heartwarming that I can’t help but tear up. “Today is a horrible day, and it’s okay to mourn…but today is also a day about celebrating and being with family. Your family is Charli, Hunter, Mason, and now my family is your family too. You’re not alone. No matter how horrible today feels to you, you are not alone, and never will be again.”
His words are so beautiful that I can’t stop the tears this time. They slide down my cheeks and he wipes them away and then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. I swallow hard wondering what it is. I know it’s not a ring, it’s the wrong shape and we’re definitely not at that stage of our relationship yet, so it has me intrigued. He opens the lid and I glance inside to see a platinum necklace chain with four circles. Each circle has four gems in different colours. It's so beautiful. The first one has four amber coloured jewels, the second in pink, the third in purple and the fourth in an emerald green. I look at it and I can’t stop the smile crossing my face as my hand comes up to gently caress the necklace.
“It’s so gorgeous. What do they represent?” I ask looking up at Brax seeing a bright smile on his face at my reaction.
“Look inside the rings.”
Biting my bottom lip, I take a deep breath and pick up a ring and look inside. Engraved in the one with amber coloured jewels is the name, Amber. In the pink one is the name Charli, in the purple is the word Mum and in the green is Hunter. My throat chokes up and my eyes well with tears. It is such a thoughtful gift, and my eyes well so much that they overflow and tears fall down my face once again.
“So now your family is always with you.”
I look up at him and shake my head not knowing what to say, so I lunge forward and embrace him tightly locking my arms around his neck and nuzzling my head into his good shoulder. He holds me back and my heart is beating so fast with an undeniable love for this man I think I might burst.
“Thank you so much, Brax.”
He pulls back and smiles and then reaches into his pocket again. I open my eyes wide wondering what else he has planned when he produces a smaller box. I look at it and sniff wiping away my tears.
“Another gift?” I ask.
“It goes with the other one,” he admits and I smile and move forward opening the box. There’s another circle and it has four jewels and they’re a deep blue. It’s stunning. Biting m
y bottom lip, my heart starts to race as he looks at me with such an adoring gaze my knees feel weak. I pick up the circle and look inside to see the name Alex. I smile so wide, I can hardly contain myself as I rush forward and press my lips to his. He chuckles and kisses me back, his tongue dances with mine and right now I feel on top of the world.
“You don’t have to add it to the necklace if you don’t want to. But I want you to know you’re a part of my family, and if you want to add me to your family, I’ll be here no matter what.”
Swallowing hard I grin at him and pull the necklace out and immediately add his blue ring to my family, so he knows my thoughts on the situation. His smile is so bright I’m sure it would make the sun feel inferior. Glancing up at him as my heart beats ferociously, he grins as I hand him the necklace. I turn and he places it around my neck and fastens it. I look down to see the five rings sitting beautifully against my jumper right next to my heart and it fills me with such joy that I can’t even fathom. It is the most perfect and precious Christmas gift I could have ever asked for.
I place my hand over the rings and wipe a tear with my free hand as I lean into his chest and he holds onto me.
“Are you happy?”
I scoff. “It’s the most perfect gift I could have ever asked for Brax,” I say and look up at him.
He caresses my cheek and smiles at me. “I want to make today more about remembering the good and making new memories than dwelling on the bad painful ones. Today should be a celebration of life, not dwelling on death. So celebrate her life. Think today about the good things, and celebrate Christmas with your new family while remembering the good times of the old.”
I exhale and relax my body feeling lighter somehow. “That’s a good way to look at it.”
He pulls me to him and he smiles as he leans down planting his lips to mine kissing me tenderly. I feel freer somehow, lighter, like a weight has been lifted.
Maybe Christmas isn’t so bad after all?
After spending a little too long making out under the old oak tree, my stomach rumbles a little too much to ignore and we make our way back toward the house. I can’t stop touching my necklace or smiling. It’s the perfect present. Brax is showing me extra special attention today, and I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of love for him. I’m so glad I’ve finally realised that I do love him. I’m totally and undeniably in love with Brax, and I want to tell him sometime today.
“Do you think it will snow?” I ask casually as we walk up to the house.
“It’s looking pretty miserable. I hope so.”
Hunter’s standing in the dining room drinking his morning coffee and I want to make sure he’s doing okay. So I walk up to him and take him in my arms nearly spilling his coffee. He chuckles and hugs me back.
“Morning, Sis. How are you feeling?” he asks.
“I’m doing okay. Brax made me see things a little differently. How are you? You doing okay?” I ask and he smiles and nods.
“The distraction of the family here is actually really good. I’m having a great time. Plus, Maddie keeps messaging me. So that’s a plus.”
I open my eyes wide and laugh. “Maddie, the nurse from the hospital? The one who gave you the stink eye, and who never wanted to see you again, Maddie?” I ask amused.
He chuckles. “Don’t sound so surprised, my seduction powers are quite spectacular.”
I wince and shudder my entire body. “Eew, I so do not need to know that…but I’m happy you’re happy.”
He nods glancing through the walkway to look at Brax. “And I’m happy you’re happy. How’s things going with you two? Is he treating you right? Do I need to kick his arse?”
I laugh and shake my head. “No, he’s amazing. Thank you for finally being on our side. It sucked when you were against us being together.”
He huffs. “If he wasn’t getting treatment I still would be against you two being together. But he’s doing well, and there’s been no issues. You’re happy. He treats Charli like his own. So yeah, I’m okay with it. But the second he treats you bad again—”
“He won’t,” I interrupt his rant.
He raises his eyebrow and nods. “Well, he better not.”
“Thank you. I love you, Hunt.”
He smiles and leans in kissing my forehead. “I love you too, Amber.”
We’re all in the lounge room exchanging gifts. Charli is on my knee and she’s so excited today. She’s having a ball, but she’s more interested in the wrapping paper and the boxes than the actual toys she’s been given. It’s making us all laugh. It’s great to be in a family atmosphere again rather than moping at home crying. I’m so glad Brax talked me into spending Christmas here. I’m happy to be out of my rut, and seeing what Christmas is meant to be all about. It’s about giving and spending time with those you love. Seeing Mason and Evie getting closer is heartwarming, and I really hope that something happens there.
Hunter and Derek seem to be striking up quite the friendship, and Sandra is loving all the affection that Charli is giving her. It’s nice to have a grandmother figure for Charli seeing as the only other female in her life is Clara. Who—by the messages she’s been sending me—is spending her time getting to know the Scotsman from the Piping Centre.
Who would have thought?
The atmosphere in this place is buzzing, and the Christmas feeling is everywhere making me enjoy what Christmas is all about. I think I want to spend every Christmas here.
Evie runs up to the window to look outside gaining my attention.
“Oh my God…it’s snowing! It’s taken all day, but it’s finally snowing guys!”
We all stand up and move to the windows to watch the streets littered in white. I smile brightly as I haven’t seen snow in a while.
“Let’s go check it out, hey?” Brax asks and I nod as we all walk to the front door. Laughing like we’re all five-years-old again, we run into the front yard and onto the grassed area that’s now covered with a white layer of frosty snow. I stick out my tongue and a snowflake falls on it melting instantly as the icicle touches my warm tongue. I giggle as Brax wraps his warm arms around me and everyone scatters around the front yard. Glancing over, I watch Mason pull Evie to him in an embrace as the snow falls down on them. I smile as Hunter is playing with Charli building snowballs as the snow begins to bucket down around us.
I grab hold of Brax as he wraps his arms around my waist and I look into his eyes. That spark that energy pulling me to him is there and if it was an actual force, it would melt all the snow falling down on our skin. The snowflakes gently sitting on Brax’s eyelashes only make him more handsome and everything inside me wants to explode. I’m feeling so alive, so undeniably happy, and he has done this to me.
It’s Christmas, the worst day of the year for me, and yet here I am smiling and feeling like nothing could break me. Aston flicks into my mind and seeing as I’m making so much headway today I decide it’s time I forgave him. If he didn’t let me go for not being the ‘one’, then I wouldn’t have found my ‘one.’ I lean in kissing Brax quickly and he pulls back licking his lips and swallowing hard. I decide to lay it all on the line.
“Thank you for making me see there’s more to Christmas than spending the day depressed. There’s family and being together, there’s joy and happiness, and…love,” I say and he opens his eyes wide and smiles at me.
“Love?” he asks raising his eyebrows.
“Yes…I love you, Brax,” I say and he laughs grabbing my waist and picking me up swirling me around. I scream and laugh as he holds me strongly with his one arm. “Brax, put me down. Your shoulder,” I say and he shakes his head.
“The woman I’m in love with tells me she loves me on Christmas Day, I’m going to celebrate. So celebrate with me Amber Jewel,” he says continuing to spin me around. I decide not to question him and instead throw my arms out to the sides like I’m flying as he spins me and we both laugh.
He stops and slides me down his body and as I come fac
e to face with him, our laughter stops. Our eyes meet, and a surge kicks in through my entire body. He loves me. I love him, and I know everything is going to be all right.
He leans forward placing his lips against mine and I kiss him with everything I have. My fingers run through his hair, his wrap around my waist and we hold each other kissing as the cold snowflakes gently touch our skin.
The lesson learned is that even though a tragedy can cause you to lose sight of what really matters, in the end being with family and loving those nearest and dearest to you, is the greatest gift of all.
It’s been an amazing ride, my life. I’ve been a son, a soldier, a bodyguard, a shield, but nothing’s a greater privilege than to be a husband and father. As I lie here in my hospital bed thinking over my life, nothing gave me more pleasure than living my time with my wife, Amber. We married not long after we met. We spent our first Christmas together after I was shot and we said ‘I do’ a year later.
A year after that, when Charli was three, we welcomed our daughter into the world—Holly. Charli and Holly are the best of friends, and when we welcomed our son Noah two years later our family was complete. Amber amazed me. Not only was she an amazing wife and mother during this time, but her band Red Velvet had taken off and they were touring. They played to packed out stadiums and arenas and the fans loved them. Hunter, after being acquitted of murdering Mason’s father, had managed to skyrocket Red Velvet’s success. Amber’s songs that she was writing about us were hitting number one in the charts. She was in the same league as her competitors Staked, and that made her very happy.
Hunter had made a life with Maddie, the nurse from the hospital, and they got married and had a couple of children. Two boys Seth and Xavier.
Mason and my sister Evie hit it off that Christmas, and even though I objected for a very long time, and I swore it wouldn’t last, their relationship is still strong. Evie moved down to Richmond to be with Mason and they got married and had a brood of children. They bred like rabbits and had four kids, three girls and a boy. Addy, Alera, Amie and Adam. I don’t know why they went with all ‘A’ names, but it’s what they wanted.
