Mist rises from Niagara Falls at sunrise.
Karel Soucek
Date: July 2, 1984
Method: Metal and fiberglass barrel
Result: Survived
The first Canadian to make the plunge, Karel Soucek was a professional stuntman from Hamilton, Ontario. He ended up trapped in rough waters for 45 minutes afterward, so he was probably grateful that he’d equipped his barrel with two tiny windows and a snorkel for breathing. He was eventually fished out, his cuts, bruises, and chipped tooth were put right, and he was fined $500. Six months later, he was hired to appear at the Houston Astrodome and re-create his Niagara fall. Being dropped in a wooden barrel from the same height into a 10-foot-pool of water should’ve been safer than going over Horseshoe Falls…except the barrel missed the center of the pool and slammed hard against the edge. Soucek was severely injured and died shortly after.
Kirk Jones
Date: October 3, 2003
Method: Clothes on back
Result: Survived
At least 20 people a year accidentally fall or commit suicide by jumping into Niagara Falls. Only three people are known to have survived going over the falls with just the clothes on their backs. One of them was Kirk Jones from Canton, Michigan, who somehow survived an unprotected trip over the falls in 2003. Jones climbed over a barrier and entered the river in street clothes, floating down the rapids on his back until he hit the falls, which he described later as like sliding through “a giant tunnel, going straight down surrounded by water.” When Jones hit the water below, which is pretty much like hitting concrete from that height, he incurred no damage besides some sore ribs.
Declining a free ride from a tour boat, he swam to the shore. After the fact, he told stories of believing he knew a spot where a person could go over without damage, that a drunk friend was to take videos but couldn’t figure out the camera, and that he had been planning the stunt for years. Others speculated that his fall was really a failed suicide attempt. Whatever the case, Jones made some decent money giving talks about his experience. Good thing, too, because he had to pay off a $4,500 fine for “mischief” and performing an illegal stunt.
Niagara Falls has long attracted daredevils, including Signorina Maria Spelterini, who crossed the falls in 1876 on a tightrope with baskets on her feet (painting by Donna Marie Campbell).
Canada’s Hard Oilers
Canada hard oilers like these men opened up oil fields around the world.
For more than 50 years, starting in 1874, Canada’s drillers exported their expertise around the world. Calling themselves “hard oilers,” they sank some of the first wells in Egypt, Turkey, Borneo, Burma, Peru, and Russia. They also lent their expertise to American ventures in California, Oklahoma, and Texas.
These men got to travel the world and lead lives of adventure seldom seen outside of books and movies. It wasn’t unusual for hard oilers to find themselves moving equipment with elephants instead of trucks, or coming face-to-face with armed locals and three-meter (10-foot) cobras. Why did they do it? The pay was great. An oiler’s typical wage in the 1920s was $4,500 a year…at a time when the average Canadian made about $1,000 annually.
Mountie Madness
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have had their share of bad press over the years. But have a heart. Look at some of what they have to deal with.
Two mounties ride in a procession.
Well, That’s One Explanation
In November 2009, an RCMP officer in Ontario sat through two traffic light cycles; the car in front of him hadn’t moved. When he investigated, he found the driver of the car chatting on her cell phone. He asked why she hadn’t gone on the green, and she explained that it would have been illegal—talking on a cell phone and driving weren’t permitted. After a lecture on the law, he “encouraged” her to hang up and move along.
A sign warns of crocodiles in Cancún’s Nichupte Lagoon.
Taking a Bite out of Crime
RCMP officers got an odd call in September 2009: A 20-year-old Vancouver man phoned his parents from Cancún, Mexico, where he claimed he’d been kidnapped, forced into a fight, shot at, and then dumped in a lagoon…only to be gnawed on by crocodiles. His family, understandably upset, called in the Mounties to investigate. After talking with the man and the Mexican authorities, though, the police came to a different conclusion. As it turned out, the man had been drunk and stumbled to the lagoon to go to the bathroom. There, he tripped, fell into the water, and was bitten by several crocodiles. Oh, and those crocs? They were each only about 25 centimeters (10 inches) long, and the lagoon was plastered with signs warning that they were there.
Twilight heartthrob Robert Pattinson
Team Edward to the Rescue
In March 2009, the cast and crew of Twilight: New Moon descended on Vancouver Island to film a few scenes. Hordes of teenage girls followed, aching to get a glimpse (or a piece) of Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward, the lead vampire. The film’s producers were so concerned that the girls would cause trouble, they hired two Mounties to guard the actor. Said one constable, “It was an unusual mission, but our remit was to keep the fans off the set.” He also noted that:
It was raining really hard the whole time but the producers loved that because it helped to make their scenes much more gloomy and atmospheric. This is a beautiful part of the world, but when it gets cold and wet even a vampire would get the chills.
Right Place, Wrong Time
A Mountie in Surrey, British Columbia, responded to a burglary call in August 2009. He pulled right up in front of the store being robbed at 72nd Avenue and Scott Road ready to catch the bad guy, but before he could climb out of his patrol car, a minivan with California plates slammed into him. Was it the robbers on the run? Nope, just a drunk American driving recklessly on Surrey streets. The Mountie and the driver were both treated at the hospital, and a second officer was dispatched to attend to the robbery. But it was all to no avail. Amidst all the noise and commotion, the thief got away.
Ink Now, Think Later
When police arrived at the Saskatchewan home of David McKay to serve an arrest warrant, they were confused by the man who answered the door: he claimed to be “Matthew,” not David, but said he had met David once and the man was a “badass.” The Mounties took “Matthew” down to the station anyway because he matched McKay’s description. Once there, the man answered questions while officers debated what to do. Finally, while “Matthew” was being processed, the Mounties caught a break: he had a tattoo on his back that said “David McKay.” The criminal was processed and charged with obstruction for failing to give the police his real name.
Bee-Attle Royale
In 2007, Mounties were dispatched to round up a group of honeybees that had flown the hive in Shelbourne, Nova Scotia. Beekeeper Rodney Dillinger said that half of the hive (about 30,000 bees) had gotten into a fight with the other half over their queen and then buzzed off.
According to an RCMP spokeswoman, Dillinger told the Mounties that the bees “were last seen near a Tim Hortons on the edge of town. He wanted us to help him round them up.” According to Dillinger, the bees weren’t dangerous, “but they look ugly to people who are not familiar with bees, and I’m worried someone may attack them with a broom or a stick.”
Last we heard, the bees were still missing, but people in Shelbourne had their brooms at the ready.
Tourist Speak
Some people say there are no dumb questions. Based on the things some tourists to Canada have asked, though, we’re not so sure. For example:
•If the Columbia Icefield [Alberta] melts before we get there, can we do a different excursion?
•Will I see polar bears in the street?
•We’re going to British Columbia, so do we need to change our money to pounds?
•Where is the rocky mountain?
•What time do they turn off Niagara Falls?
•How much does it cost to get into Canada, and are children a different pr
ice?
Tourists have asked some wacky questions about polar bears and other Canadian curiosities.
The Greatest Canadian
Today, Canada has free universal health care, and the man who made it happen was former Saskatchewan premier Tommy Douglas. Here’s his story.
Saskatchewan premier Tommy Douglas (left) talks with the Saskatoon Light Infantry in April 1945.
Life and Death
In 1910, when Tommy Douglas was six years old, he injured his leg and it never healed properly. He developed a life-threatening bone infection, and because his family couldn’t afford a specialist to treat it, the doctors wanted to amputate the leg to stop the infection from spreading. Tommy’s leg was saved only by chance—a teaching surgeon took an interest in the case and offered to operate on the boy for free, provided that the doctor’s students could watch the procedure and learn from it. Tommy never forgot the experience. A medical crisis could affect anyone—what would happen to people who weren’t as lucky as he had been? His situation wasn’t at all unusual in the early 20th century. In most countries, there were few options if you were poor and happened to get sick. Hospitals would occasionally admit charity cases, but only rarely. For the most part, if you needed lifesaving medical attention and couldn’t pay for it, you died.
Human Rights
After spending his teens in a variety of jobs, Douglas became a Baptist minister and in 1930 took a job as a preacher at Calvary Baptist Church in Weyburn, Saskatchewan. The rural, blue-collar town was devastated by both a drought and the Great Depression. Even if families had money for food, there was none left over for medicine. It reminded Douglas of his own near-tragedy. He came to believe that medical care was a basic human right and that it should be available to everyone.
In 1934, realizing he could do more for the poor in politics than he could at a small-town church, he joined the Co-operative Commonwealth Federation (CCF). Like Douglas, they advocated universal access to health care. (The party also agitated for social reforms to end the Depression, including workers’ compensation and unemployment insurance.) Douglas ran on the CCF ticket for the Saskatchewan legislature in 1934…and lost. But in 1935, he won a seat in the national legislature, the House of Commons.
Wins and Losses
Douglas served in the House for nine years but never got the support he needed to institute health care on the national level. The CCF wasn’t well regarded in mainstream Canadian politics; their idea of tax-supported, government-run medicine was too reminiscent of the complete state control of the Soviet Union. But Douglas was no communist, and had no interest in totalitarian government. He just wanted universal health care.
Frustrated with the lack of progress at the national level, Douglas resigned from the House in 1944, returned to Saskatchewan, and tried to get his health care plan going on the provincial level. The voters were with him: In the 1944 election, the CCF won 47 of the 52 seats in the Saskatchewan legislature. And since he was the head of the Saskatchewan CCF, the election landslide made him premier (governor) at age 39. Now he’d have a chance to prove that his social welfare programs, especially universal health care, could succeed.
Prescription for Success
Douglas’s entire plan for governing was built around the idea of universal health care, or “Medicare.” Seventy percent of the 1944 budget was allocated to health, welfare, and education. That year, his government passed 72 social and economic reform laws, most of them related to health care:
•Douglas ordered the University of Saskatchewan to expand to include a medical school to create and train more doctors.
•Utilities, lumber, fisheries, and other corporations became state-run, generating substantial revenue to pay for health care.
•Douglas and his cabinet took a 28 percent pay cut.
•Retirees were immediately given free medical and dental coverage. Treatments of cancer, tuberculosis, mental illness, and venereal disease were made free to everyone in Saskatchewan.
By 1947 Saskatchewan had one of the strongest economies in Canada. After just three years as premier, Douglas made the province financially stable enough to introduce universal hospitalization for all residents of Saskatchewan for an annual fee of $5. Access to hospitals and surgery were in place, but drugs and doctors visits were not. There just wasn’t enough money. Still, the rest of Canada was beginning to see how well Douglas’s program was working and warmed to the idea.
When new prime minister John Diefenbaker—a Conservative—was elected in 1957, he offered matching federal funds to any province that started a free hospitalization program. The following year, Saskatchewan had a budget surplus, and in 1959, after 15 years of work, Douglas was finally able to introduce complete universal health care to the province.
Just the Beginning
Seeing how well Saskatchewan did with health care, legislation began in 1961 to expand it to all of Canada, and by 1966 it was in place, paid for by the provincial and federal governments, each contributing 50 percent.
His goal reached, Douglas returned to national politics in the early 1960s. He led the New Democratic Party, a new version of the CCF, and held seats in the House of Commons off and on before retiring in 1979. In 1998 he was elected to the Canadian Medical Hall of Fame. He’s one of the few non-doctors honored, but without Douglas’s efforts, the Canadian medical—and social—landscape would be far different today.
Shirley Sutherland bccame a civil rights activist.
Three More Cool Tommy Douglas Facts
•In a 2004 poll conducted by the CBC, Canadians were asked to name “the greatest Canadian.” Tommy Douglas was voted #1.
•Douglas’s daughter Shirley was arrested in 1969 for ties to the Black Panthers (they had helped her organize a free breakfast program for African American children living in poor sections of Los Angeles). Following her arrest, Tommy Douglas said, “I’m proud that my daughter believes that hungry children should be fed, whether they are Black Panthers or white Republicans.”
•Actor Kiefer Sutherland is the grandson of Tommy Douglas. (His mother is Shirley Douglas.) As a boy, Sutherland asked his grandfather what defined a Canadian. Douglas’s response: harsh winters and Medicare.
Actor Keifer Sutherland is the grandson of the Greatest Canadian.
Why Does Everyone Hate Toronto?
Americans love hating New York, the French love hating Paris, and Canadians love hating Toronto. Maybe that just comes with bigness, or maybe it’s something more…
Let’s All Hate Toronto
Toronto, Ontario, is consistently rated as one of the world’s most livable cities. And why not? Situated on the moderate northwestern shore of Lake Ontario, this culturally diverse global city of 2.5 million offers clean streets, safe communities, and a plethora of entertainment, activities, and dining options. So what’s not to like, eh?
Plenty, as far as some Canadians are concerned. In 2006 the movie production company Elevator Films released a documentary called Let’s All Hate Toronto, which makes a lighthearted attempt to uncover why Canucks hate “Hogtown.” The film follows “Mr. Toronto” (actually the film’s co-director in an eyepatch) across the country as he waves a “Toronto Appreciation Day” banner and insists that Toronto is “the centre of the universe.” Canadians don’t buy it; some even spit on his banner. Why? Here are a few reasons:
1. Toronto’s Edifice Complex
Nothing sums up Toronto to some Canadians better than that behemoth structure, the CN Tower. Completed in 1975, it boasts the pricey 360 Restaurant that slowly revolves, making one complete turn every 72 minutes (just another indication that the world actually does revolve around Toronto).
The Toronto skyline glows at sunset.
2. It Wants to Be NYC, Ontario
Toronto is pretty much as close to a U.S. metropolis—in both proximity and similarity—as a Canadian city can get. Canada’s biggest city is just 25 miles north of being part of the State of New York, and it seems to follow in the footsteps
of the Big Apple.
Like New York City, Toronto is the most populous city in its country. Historically, it’s also served as a welcoming port for immigrants from all over the world, which is a point in its favor; about half of all Torontonians were born outside of Canada, making it the most diverse city in the nation. Toronto even took a stab at constructing its own Times Square of sorts: Yonge-Dundas Square, complete with overblown advertisements.
3. The Maple Leafs
The only thing more detestable than a rich, winning sports franchise is a rich, losing sports franchise. The Toronto Maple Leafs are the NHL’s most expensive team, worth a whopping $1.15 billion in 2013 according to Forbes magazine. The Maple Leafs also hold the distinction of being one of the original six National Hockey League teams, dating back to 1917. So they must be capable of great things, right? Not exactly. They haven’t won a Stanley Cup since 1967. Yet in 2009 the Leafs still raised their ticket prices 3.5 percent, making the average cost per ticket about $125, the highest of any NHL team. Their owner, Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, claims it is charging what the market will bear—but who can afford to pay more than a hundred bucks to watch a game? That leads us to the next reason some claim to hate Toronto…
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Plunges into Canada Page 18
