by Bill Myers
On the third bounce, its door flew open and the two rodents scurried out.
“Yowwrrrrrr!” Precious screeched to a stop.
Those rats were bigger than he thought. They were almost the size of sheep! And they weren’t afraid of a house cat, either, even if he was three or four times fatter than an ordinary cat. They stood on their hind legs and slashed at the frightened cat with their long, sharp claws. So Precious fought back as best he could, by turning and running as fast as his legs could take him.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Tubbs was being marched off to jail. One tough secret agent had her left arm, one had her right arm, another stood behind her, and still another was in front of her. They weren’t about to let her get away.
What the poor guys didn’t know is that whenever she thinks Precious is in trouble, Mrs. Tubbs becomes a lean, mean fighting machine!
uEee-yaw!”
WHACK!
A karate kick took care of the guy in front of her. “Yie-Heee-Uh!”
SMASH!
A jujitsu smash to the stomach disabled the fellow behind her.
“NYUK! NYUK! NYUK!”
BO INK! BO INK!
And a good old-fashioned Three Stooges head-bang took care of the guys on either side of her.
“Nobody’s going to hurt my kitty!” she yelled. Turning, she ran after him as fast as she could.
“Precious!” With every step she took, water from the pond squished out of her shoes. “Come to Mama! Come on, baby!”
But Precious wasn’t listening! Up and down the Rose Garden he went, in and out among the bushes.
“Don’t you . . . ow! . . . hurt my . . . ouch! . . . sweet . . . ow! ow! . . . little pussycat!” Mrs. Tubbs yelled at the rats as she ran through the rosebushes after him.
The secret service men, who had recovered from their blows, were right behind her.
“Come . . . ouch! . . . back here!” they yelled at Mrs. Tubbs. “You’re . . . ow! ow! ow! . . . under arrest!”
(Somebody forgot to remind everyone that rosebushes have thorns!)
The chase finally led out of the White House Rose Garden, across Pennsylvania Avenue, and onto the Capitol Mall.
Fortunately for Sean and Melissa, Slobs was no longer in the race. Something else had captured her attention. She stopped, let the chase pass her, and began sniffing the ground. Suddenly she stiffened and stared at something in the distance.
“What is it, girl?” Melissa asked. “What do you see?”
Sean shaded his eyes with his right hand and looked. “I wish I knew what she was looking at,” he said.
*
Even though Slobs, Sean, and Melissa were no longer in the chase, a hundred yards up the Capitol Mall, it continued.
Precious zigged, zagged, and then zigged again, trying to shake those stupid rats, but nothing seemed to work. Finally he zagged when he should have zigged! He didn’t see the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial until it was too late and . . .
KER-SPLASH!
“MEOW!”
. . . into the water he went. Followed by the rats. . .
SPLASH! SPLASH!
“SQUEAK! SQUEAK!”
. . . who hated water even more than he did. And finally, Mrs. Tubbs . . .
KER-SPLAAASSSHHH!
. . . followed by the four secret service agents . . .
. . . fifteen newspaper reporters . . .
. . .thirteen television photographers, and, finally…
. . . twenty-seven tourists, who decided to jump into the water just because everyone else was doing it!
*
Despite all the splashing and shouting, Slobs never moved. Her tail stood straight up, her eyes stared straight ahead.
Suddenly Sean shouted, “I see him!”
“See who?” Melissa cried. She turned to see her brother wearing his X-ray glasses again.
“Someone’s hiding behind that tree over there!”
“Where?” Melissa asked. “I don’t see anybody.”
“There!” Sean shouted. “He’s spying on us!” Slobs whined and began sniffing at the air. She drooled as if she smelled something good to eat. Sean pointed toward the tree. “Hey, you!” he yelled. “Why are you watching us?” Then, turning to Slobs, he shouted, “Sic him, girl!”
“GRRRRRRR! WOOF! WOOF!”
Slobs was off like a rocket. Although she was really a big softy who had never hurt anyone or anything, her bark sounded fierce.
“Yikes!” The spy dropped his binoculars and took off, sprinting toward the nearest subway entrance.
“It’s the mustache man from the hotel.’ Sean shouted.
“You’re right!” Melissa exclaimed.
The spy managed to reach the subway entrance just ahead of Slobs. He scrambled down the escalator and disappeared into the crowd waiting for the next train.
The huge dog stood at the top of the escalator, barking and yapping.
“We’ll never find him on the Metro,” Sean groaned.
“Slobs can find him!” Melissa insisted.
“In this crowd?” Sean asked. “I don’t think so.”
Hundreds of people made their way up and down the escalators, into and out of the Metro station.
“Come on,” Melissa said. “We’ve got to try.”
“You’re right,” Sean said. He bent down and fastened Slobs’ leash. “Let’s go, girl,” he said, patting her on the head.
“WOAF!” Slobs answered.
Sean bought tickets from the nearest machine, and the three of them scampered down the escalator onto the platform.
“Hey, duds, what’s down?” someone said.
Sean looked at his digital wristwatch. Sure enough, Jeremiah’s glowing green face smiled up at him.
“Jeremiah!” Sean whispered. “Listen, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but we’re doing something really important right now. Could you possibly come back later?”
“K.O.,” Jeremiah replied. “I’ll just go somewhere else. See you later, crocodile.”
“Alligator,” Melissa said. “It’s ‘See you later, alligator.’ “
But Jeremiah wasn’t listening. His face had already disappeared from Sean’s watch . . . then reappeared on the monitors announcing departure and arrival times for subway trains.
“How’s this, duds?” his voice echoed throughout the terminal. Dozens of monitors lined the walls of the station, and Jeremiah’s face stared out from every one of them. “Hello, folks,” he called out.
Jeremiah meant well. He was just trying to be friendly. But it didn’t work. There’s only one way to describe what happened over the next three minutes:
TOTAL PANIC!
“Aaaggghhh!” a woman screamed as she pointed at Jeremiah. “A monster!”
“A monster?” Jeremiah cried. “Where? Where’s a monster?!” He began shaking with fear. “Well, you know what they say. He who hesitates is monster food. I’m out of here.”
With that, Jeremiah was gone, but it didn’t stop the panic.
Sean and Melissa stood with their backs pressed against the wall as hundreds of people ran past them. And soon, believe it or not, the entire station was empty.
Well, not exactly.
Because over in the corner a man stood all by himself. And he seemed to be talking into his necktie! He had pulled the bottom of the tie up to his mouth and was definitely having a conversation with it.
Suddenly there was a chirping noise from somewhere on his body. “Pardon me,” he said to his tie. “My socks are ringing.”
“It’s him,” Melissa whispered. “It’s the mustache man!”
He yanked off a shoe, pulled his foot up toward his mouth, and began talking. “Double Oh Zero here,” he said. “I’m afraid you’ve called the wrong number. No, this is not Paul’s Pizza Parlor. Yes, I’m certain. I’m sure you are hungry, sir, but I’m—” Suddenly he noticed Sean and Melissa watching him. “Outta here!”
The young detectives were about to close in when suddenly . . .
&
nbsp; SHHHHHH. . . EEEEE!
. . . a train pulled into the station.
Doors opened, turnstiles whirled, as a hundred more people spilled through them. And somehow, some way, the mystery man melted into the crowd.
“Where’d he go?” Sean shouted.
“I don’t know!” Melissa answered. “He was right in front of us and then . . . There he is!” She pointed at one of the subway cars.
Sure enough, the “spy guy” was standing in the car, hanging on to an overhead strap, and smiling at them through the window as if to say, “Beat ya!”
“Let’s go!” Melissa exclaimed. “The train’s about to leave!” She sprinted for the train and barely made it through the door before it closed.
Slobs made it, too.
Sean wasn’t so fortunate. He was just starting through the door when it slammed shut on him. Normally, a door on a subway train will bounce back open if it hits someone. But not this one. Apparently, it was broken.
“Sean!” Melissa screamed. “Are you okay?”
“I’m stuck!” he cried. “You’ve gotta help me!”
Melissa grabbed hold of his hand and pulled.
“It’s no use. I can’t budge you!”
Shhhh . . . Thunk . . . Thunk . . . Thunk . . .
The train shuddered and slowly pulled away from the platform.
“Come on, sis! Pull!” “I am pulling!”
THUNK THUNK THUNK . . .
The train moved faster!
“WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!”
Slobs ran around in circles and barked, but nobody moved from their seats to give Sean and Melissa a hand.
“Misty!” Sean shouted. “I’m falling!”
She could feel him slipping away.
“Uhhhhhhhh!” Her muscles strained as she pulled on her brother’s arms with every bit of her strength. If Sean fell, he would be run over and killed. She didn’t say anything, but her mind was screaming, God, help me! Please!
“Pull harder!” he shouted.
“It’s no use,” she cried. “I can’t do it!”
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked into her brother’s panic-stricken face. What would life be like without him?
6
sean and melissa’s wild ride
MONDAY, 14:08 EST
Sean looked down at the subway tracks speeding beneath him. Without a miracle, death was only seconds away. He looked up into the subway car.
Melissa’s face was pressed against the glass as she tried desperately to hold on to his arms. Those arms were the only part of his body safely inside the car. She pulled as hard as she could, but her strength was almost spent.
“Melissa!” he shouted. “One more time! Give it all you’ve got!”
Her face reddened as she pulled, giving him one final, desperate yank until . . .
SHHHHHHH!
. . . the door suddenly swished open! As Melissa yanked, Sean flew into the car and . . .
KER-THUNK!
. . . landed hard on his stomach, safely inside the car.
Immediately, Slobs was on top of him, covering his face with doggie kisses.
“What happened?” he asked when he finally caught his breath. “How did you get the door open?”
“I don’t know.” Melissa was crying and laughing at the same time. “I prayed,” she said. “And I guess God just gave us a miracle!”
“I guess He did,” Sean said. “I guess He did!”
MONDAY, 14:27 EST
By the time the subway reached the D-Street station, Sean had almost stopped shaking.
“This is our stop,” Melissa said. “Looks like it’s his stop, too!”
“His?” Sean asked. “Who?” And then he saw him. “Oh yeah.”
Mustache Man . . . Sock Phone Man . . . Agent Double Oh Zero . . . whatever you want to call him didn’t see them as he quickly left the train. Pushing past others, Sean and Melissa managed to get out of the train and follow. They were about twenty yards behind him as he walked briskly up the street, his head down, his eyes focused on the sidewalk.
“Where’s he going?” Melissa asked.
“I think I know,” Sean answered.
“You do?” Melissa asked.
“I’m sure he’s one of those spies we keep hearing about,” he answered. “If we follow him, I’ll bet we’ll find out where the rest of them are hiding.”
“Not unless they’re hiding in our hotel,” Melissa said.
“What?”
“Look,” Melissa pointed.
Sure enough, ol’ what’s his name had entered their hotel by a side door. The young detectives followed close behind.
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
His footsteps echoed in the stairwell as he raced up the stairs to the second floor. Bloodhounds, Inc., stayed hot on his trail.
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
Third floor.
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
Fourth floor. Sean, Melissa, and Slobs paused a moment to catch their breath and waited for the footsteps to continue.
And waited . . .
And waited some more . . .
But all they heard was silence.
“What’s he doing?” Melissa whispered.
“Maybe he knows we’re following him,” Sean suggested.
“What if he’s hiding up there, waiting to attack us?” Melissa asked.
Sean shrugged. “I guess that’s a chance we’ll have to take.” He gestured politely up the stairs. “Ladies first.”
“Oh no,” Melissa shook her head. “Age before beauty.”
“I insist.”
“No! I insist!”
They might have gone on like that for hours—or days—if Melissa had not come up with a brilliant idea.
“Let’s go together,” she said.
“Agreed,” Sean nodded.
Moving as quietly as possible, they tiptoed up the stairs, stopping at the door that led out to the fourth floor. Carefully they peeked around the corner and saw that . . .
Nobody was there.
Sean ran on up to the fifth floor, then quickly came back down.
“Any sign of him?” Melissa asked.
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “I don’t get it! Where could he have gone? I never heard a door open, did you?”
Melissa shook her head. “It’s like he disappeared. Poof! Just like that!”
“Yeah, like a ghost!” Sean agreed.
Melissa snapped her fingers. “I’ve got an idea! Have you got your X-ray glasses?”
Sean patted his pants pocket with a grin. “Right here.”
“Well?” she asked.
“Well, what?”
“Well, maybe he’s hiding somewhere. If so, you’ll be able to see him with those glasses.”
“Good idea! Glad I thought of it,” Sean said. He pulled the glasses out of his pocket and quickly put them on. He looked up. He looked down. He turned in a complete circle. Then he shook his head. “I don’t see anything unusual,” he sighed. “Just wood and steel and . . .”
He knocked on the wall with his hand and . . . suddenly the floor disappeared!
Sean, Melissa, and Slobs began falling . . . down, down, down! Moving faster and faster!
“EEEAAAGGHH!” Sean and Melissa screamed as their hair stood straight up.
“AROOOOOO!” Slobs howled as her ears stood straight up.
MONDAY, 12:02 PST
Meanwhile, back at Doc’s house, the gardener she had just hired stood in her doorway with his hat in his hands.
“I’m sorry, lady,” he said, “but this is going to cost you a lot more than I thought.”
She frowned and shook her head. She had hired him to trim a few bushes around the sides of her house. She didn’t understand why she should have to pay any more than the price they had settled on.
The gardener fidgeted nervously with his hat. “It’s just that . . . as soon as we cut those plants, they grow back.”
Doc looked puzzled, and the gardener kept talking.<
br />
“And, ma’am, I understood that you had a few bushes that needed to be cut back.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what your definition of ‘few’ is, but you’ve got a jungle out there.”
Doc produced a pad and pencil and wrote, What are you talking about?
“Follow me,” the man said, “and I’ll show you.”
With Doc right behind him, the man strode out to the side of the house where he and his partner had been working.
And he was right . . . it was a jungle.
Azalea bushes that had been eighteen inches high just a few days ago now towered over Doc’s head. Sunflowers stood nearly as tall as the nearby streetlights. And daffodils were big enough to sit on. Everywhere you looked, there were plants, plants, and more plants. And vines. They snaked their way up the side of her house and onto the roof. They both watched as the gardener’s partner, dripping with perspiration, attacked one of them with a power saw.
He finished cutting all the way through, stepped back, and . . .
SHHOOOOOP!
. . . in less than five seconds, a new vine grew back to take its place.
“See, lady,” the gardener said. “Like I said, as soon as we cut them, they grow back. So we’re going to have to charge you a little bit more.”
Doc didn’t answer.
“Lady?” He turned around to find out why she wasn’t answering. Doc had dashed off, nowhere to be found.
7
Hildegard tubbs: Terrorist?
MONDAY, 15:07 EST
For a moment, Sean thought he was dead.
Then he realized he was sitting on the floor in a place that looked very much like the control room at Dad’s radio station. The walls were crowded with electronic equipment. All around him, hundreds of tiny lights blinked on and off. On one wall, a bank of TV monitors showed pictures from various points throughout the city.
