by Claudy Conn
She could see that although he was aware she had changed the subject, he was allowing it to pass, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She dropped a kiss on his forehead and said, “I’ll leave you to rest.”
He clutched her hand and eyed her sharply. “Serena, I want you safe before I die.”
“And I don’t want you to die. Perhaps you will do what the doctor wishes and make yourself well again, if only to live to see me married off,” she teased.
* * *
He watched her go and thought, Stubborn wench. He then immediately thought of her mother with an ache that was as sharp now as it had ever been.
Serena’s mother had the same dark, winged brows and the same nearly black eyes, and her hair had been like Serena’s honey-gold. He had fallen in love with her the moment he saw her, but she had already been in love with his older brother.
Jack had not deserved her. He had gambled away their family fortune, and they had nearly lost the Grange.
He had in the end been unable to face what he had done and had put a bullet through his own head. The squire had managed to cover up his brother’s suicide—called it a hunting accident—for Serena and her mother’s sake.
Serena’s mother had gone into a decline from which she had never recovered. A year later, thin and unwell, she was taken by what the doctor called consumption.
The squire had worked hard with what he was left and had been savvy enough to bring the Grange back to its full glory. He had made some investments with his own trust fund, one that Jack had not been able to dip into, and they had paid off nicely.
Serena, even if she did not marry, would never want for a thing, but he did not wish to see her lonely … no, not like he had been because he had not married.
~ Three ~
THE NEW FOREST was lovely in the fall. Shimmering leaves with variegated color still hung in the trees, just on the verge of dropping to earth.
The breeze was crisp without being too cold, and Serena took in a long gulp of the fresh air. This was her favorite riding season. She had not gotten very far, however, when she saw Warren waving to her, and she sighed quietly to herself.
He rode up, his smile wide across his handsome face, and she marveled that she had ever been attracted to him. He sidled his horse up alongside of her and boldly took her reins in his kid-gloved hands.
She gave him a disapproving look and said, “Warren, do release my reins.”
“If you promise not to rush off from me. Lately, as soon as you see me, off you go in the opposite direction. I never have a moment alone with you.” His voice sounded strangled as he said her name, “Serena …”
“Ah,” she said, trying to lighten the moment, and hurriedly stuck in, “You mean to be serious. I can see it in your eyes, and you should not be serious Warren—not with me.”
“I must,” he said dramatically. “I must be serious.”
She smiled ruefully. “You and I both know that whatever you think you want today, you shall not want tomorrow. But, if you must … have at me.”
“I know you think I am involved with the Parker chit,” he started.
“I don’t think—I and everyone else know. But I must tell you to your face, it doesn’t matter to me. Do not think it does.”
He clucked his tongue. “Perhaps I was interested in her for a time, but only because she is an heiress with an income I could not easily ignore. However, you must know that she means absolutely nothing to me. I swear it.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she wanted to slap his face. She felt her anger make its way from her mind to her lips and curbed herself. She caught herself before she gave him a tongue lashing. The best thing she could do was to stay out of such a conversation. However, she found she could not stop herself from telling him, “I don’t think you should speak about Miss Parker in such a manner. I am sure she believed you in earnest when you began … what appeared to be a courtship. I am not well acquainted with her, but she has always seemed a very pleasant girl—”
“Yes, yes, she is,” he said, cutting her short, “But, Serena, as hard as I tried to bring myself to want her … to ask for her hand … I knew she was not for me. You are the one. I need you to know that I have come to realize you are the one, the only one I shall ever love.”
She knew better. “Yet … last week, only last week, Miss Parker was the one …” She shook her head. When she was sixteen, she’d had a maddening crush on Warren and watched as he flirted with every lovely woman in their circle, keeping her always in tow. She had long grown out of the infatuation and saw it exactly for what it was—folly.
She was not about to fall for Warren all over again. She simply knew better.
“Serena, my circumstances dictate my future …” he said morosely. “We … you and I are so close, that I know you understand I simply believed I had to make a marriage of convenience to bring my estate around.”
“Of course, I understand, and I wish you well,” Serena replied earnestly. “I am only glad that we, you and I, can remain friends.”
“Don’t do this to me. Friends? When I want so much more from you. You know I can’t bear it when you turn me up cold, which is what you are doing now with your amused politeness. It wasn’t so very long ago when you looked at me quite differently.”
Serena almost choked before she was able to say, “Warren, not so long ago was years ago.”
“Nevertheless,” he said, brushing away the facts, “I believe I can win you back.”
She tugged at her reins and got a hold of them. “And I am afraid friendship is all I shall offer you, take it or leave it. Your decision, sir.”
“Serena … you know I can make you happy,” he tried.
“I know that you cannot,” she answered as she looked meaningfully into his hazel eyes.
His lips set angrily before he blustered, “No doubt, Lord Frederick Radburn dangling his title and his wealth has given you other notions … grander notions.”
“Warren!” She said his name as a warning and arched a brow as she continued to control her temper. She took a deep breath before she spoke. “You are quite out—do not make me withdraw my offer of continued friendship.”
He contemplated her for a long moment. “You know … you do fit the part. I can see you as Lady Radburn. Look at you in your fine riding ensemble. Blue suits you so well, your gold curls cascading down your back … of course the boy is bewitched.”
“Careful,” she said quietly.
“You know I shall not give up. In spite of the fact that my financial situation dictates I look to an heiress … I have decided you are the only woman I can live with.”
“Can you, Warren? I doubt that. I am far too wayward for you. You need a woman who will be biddable and always be in love with you. Your ego requires that at the very least if you are to have a happy life. I am not for you.”
“I understand what you are saying, but you are the one—”
“No, I am not. With my dowry you would keep yourself out of debtor’s prison and lead a quiet, country life. That isn’t what you want. You want to live the robust life you have been enjoying, and my income just might not give you that.” Serena eyed him meaningfully.
“Serena, don’t speak thusly—it is most unbecoming,” he answered on a frustrated note.
“Is it? The truth I have found very often is.”
“Serena, could we not … strike up a bargain?”
She shuddered. “Again, you overstep.”
“We have known one another a long time. There is another solution to our problem,” he said slowly.
“Is there? I did not realize I had a problem,” she almost snapped.
“Well, you are not getting any younger, are you? And beauty isn’t everything. I could, in fact, marry the Parker chit. You could marry young Frederick … and then perhaps you and I could find a way to each other.”
She didn’t speak. She couldn’t speak.
She had to breathe, she told herself. He didn’t realize what he had j
ust said. She had to answer him calmly.
She had to find a way to assuage the sudden hurt she felt. How could he think such a thing? She took a moment to collect herself, and still the words were snapped at him. “You are a dreadful man, Warren. You are without scruples, ethics, or manners. Even in jest, that is an outrageous suggestion.”
“Don’t be angry with me Serena … I am in trouble. As it happens, I am in love with you, but my debt goes way beyond anything you could imagine. I must marry well. We would barely get by with your trust once my debts were paid, but I would be willing to do that to have you …”
“Warren, you don’t know what you are saying, but, luckily for the two of us, I do. Marry the Parker girl. I don’t know why, for she is a grown woman, nearly my age, in fact, and should know better, but she appears to be in love with you. You may learn to love her, for she is attractive and I think has a great deal of sweetness in her.”
Serena was out of patience. She was quite annoyed at Warren. She did not know Miss Parker well, but that didn’t matter. It was wrong to take advantage of someone who cared for you, and it did appear that Miss Parker cared for Warren.
Serena clucked to her horse and started off at a trot. Warren called after her, but she just kept going.
She reached the top of the hill and looked back to find that Warren had turned towards the main pike. Breathing a sigh of relief, she decided to continue her ride and hoped she would not meet up with anyone else.
“Ah, Brandy,” she said, patting her chestnut mare’s fine neck. “How did I ever think him charming? And I did, you know. I thought the sun rose when he stepped into my sights. What a complete idiot I was to allow a handsome man to turn my head. I shall never do so again.” She sighed. Although he was quite good-looking in a florid way, and he could be good fun as well, he held no lure for her because she had come to see that at bottom, he was completely self-serving.
He was in the right of it. She had reached the age of three and twenty without accepting one offer. Spinsterhood lay over the rise. Did she care? If she were honest, yes, she did. She could have accepted an offer from young Hathaway. He was a fine young man … but she did not love him. It wouldn’t have been right to marry someone she did not love. Not fair to him … not fair to her.
Her friends had sighed over her inability to accept any of the suitors that came around. They laughed at her and told her she would never fall in love because she was already in love and with no other but the hero, the knight in shining armor Lochinvar, from Walter Scott’s poem. Perhaps they were right—at least none ever had compared to him in her mind. Amy had asked her once if her passions had not yet been stirred, and she had frowned over it. Indeed, she felt a twinge at times and knew what it was. Her body needed a man. The notion made the heat rush into her cheeks.
What she needed was a good run to clear the cobwebs in her head so she could think of something other than men and marriage.
Some twenty minutes later, she gave her horse over to one of their grooms at Moorely stables and walked the short distance to the house. Inside, she heard the sound of men talking just across the hall, and as she pulled off her gloves Davis, their butler, appeared and advised her that both Lord Frederick Radburn and Mr. Warren Beverly awaited her in the sitting room.
She couldn’t believe Warren had come to the house to wait for her. She was irritated by it, but she smiled, thanked the old retainer, and asked, “Have they been given refreshments?”
“Indeed, Miss Serena … I have just this moment, in fact, put a tray of tea and fresh biscuits and such on the sideboard.”
“You are, as ever, too good, Davis,” she said and made her way to the attractively furnished sitting room. She always liked this room with its bright floral drapes and matching upholstery.
“Ah, Serena …” Warren said, getting to his feet. “You will never believe who I bumped into when we parted, but Freddy here. He was bent on coming here to wait for you, and I thought what a splendid notion, so I tagged along.”
Serena swallowed the sharp response that nearly found its way out of her throat. She went instead to the small fire burning invitingly in the grate and said softly, “Ah, of course you did. How silly I am to think you might have been on your way to Miss Parker.”
“That is precisely where he was going when I bumped into him,” Freddy offered innocently. “How could you know that?” He grinned as he moved towards her. “Changed his mind once he knew I was on my way here.”
“Ah,” said the lady, her eyes twinkling with amusement. She liked Freddy a great deal. He was a charming lad, but just that, a lad.
Warren winked at her. “How could I not accompany Freddy here?”
Freddy’s eyes narrowed, and he gave his back to Warren as he bent over the lady’s hand and said, “I rode out to meet you, but you must have taken a different route.”
She smiled at Freddy. She had no wish to hurt him, but she wanted him to understand that his suit was not welcome. He was but a boy. She had, in fact, changed her direction to avoid bumping into him and had then bumped into Warren. She said, however, as kindly as she could, “Indeed … I often go as the whim directs me.” He still held her hand, and she gently pulled out of his hold and said, “Do, Freddy … be seated while I pour some tea for us all.”
Warren laughed and did, in fact, take a seat. Freddy eyed him and stayed right where he was at Serena’s side.
“Oh no, Serena … allow me to serve you,” Freddy said hurriedly as he took the pot in hand and managed to pour without spilling a drop. “See … I have the knack of it. Do rest and be comfortable.”
She laughed. “Freddy you are too kind, and I tell you what then, would you also pour a cup for Warren and yourself? That’s it, and I shall bring this platter of sweets to the table for us to munch on.”
Managing both the plate of small cakes and her cup of tea, she took a seat beside Freddy on the sofa. She did not wish to encourage him, but she did not wish to slight him in front of Warren either.
Freddy was a tall, nice looking young man without airs or conceit. He wore his dark blond hair in the youthful style of the day, windswept and long, hanging to his neckline. His heart was untainted by pride or false airs, and one day he would make some lovely a wonderful husband, but not yet. He was too young, and he needed to return to Oxford.
As she sipped her tea, she almost choked when she noticed Freddy shooting Warren a superior look. Warren began getting a nasty look in his eye, and Serena said hurriedly, “Have you heard, Freddy, if Sir Newton found that hound pup he was looking for?”
Freddy smiled broadly. “Indeed, I was at the kennel this morning, and they told me that Sir Newton rode over to Bournemouth to pick up the new puppy.” He eyed her shyly. “I thought perhaps you and I might ride over there tomorrow and have a look at the new addition?”
Serena’s face lit up. “Oh yes, I would love that above all things.”
“A puppy giving a tour of puppies …” Warren said mean-spiritedly.
Serena turned a wicked eye on him, and he threw his hands up. “I beg your pardon, Serena, but … he should be at school, not dawdling about here hanging on your every word.”
“You are a bleater and a cad!” Freddy said, somewhat red-faced, and Serena nearly choked again as she tried to hold back her giggles.
She composed herself and said as severely as she could muster, “Faith, that is quite enough. I shan’t have this in my sitting room.” She pulled a face at both of them and got to her feet. “As far as I am concerned, you can take it outdoors, gentlemen. I am going up to have a visit with my uncle. I hope you enjoy the remainder of your day.” She turned and left them to one another, but she listened as she walked away.
“Tomorrow then … promptly at eight?” Freddy called after her and was rewarded with a smile, to which he said. “She is magnificent.”
“Aye, so she is, and she will never be yours, gapeseed!”
~ Four ~
DANIEL PENDLETON RAPPED at the ceiling of
his coach and called his driver to a halt. He had been traveling in the carriage for nearly three hours during a light rain and was heartily sick of the confinement.
As the rain had at last withered into nothing more than a bit of damp, he meant to saddle Dragon, the dark roan gelding tethered at the back of his equipage, and ride for a bit.
The coach slowed to a halt, and he jumped out and stretched his limbs. He undid the saddle from the boot and with its blanket laid it on his horse’s back before slipping the bit into Dragon’s mouth and soothing him. “It won’t be much longer now, Dragon … soon you’ll have a nice straw bed, hay and grain, and a quiet night, but for now … shall we?”
Dragon nodded his head vigorously as his lordship donned his dark beaver hat jauntily over his black silken locks and pulled his two-tiered riding cloak around his shoulders. A moment later he put his foot in the stirrup, swung himself into the saddle, and gathered his reins into his gloved hands.
“There, that is better. I fancy you would like to stretch out your limbs as well, eh, Dragon?”
His horse pranced, and his lordship smiled to himself. He knew that following the coach at a sedate pace was, for his spirited animal, a tedious exercise. Lord Pendleton had noted Dragon’s skittishness when he’d had his driver stop to rest and water the horses earlier.
Damn, he was heartily sick of traveling. This was his second day on the road, and although he knew they were drawing very close to the New Forest, he was anxious to reach the inn and get his hands on Freddy.
He had passed some lovely country, and he knew from his friend Jasper that the New Forest was famous for some exciting fox hunting. He had heard it was a challenge because of the many bogs one had to avoid.
However, that was neither here nor there, he reminded himself. His job was to get Freddy back to school. He couldn’t imagine what had come over the boy. Freddy loved Oxford, the friendships he had made at school … even the education he had been receiving.
In fact, his lordship was a bit worried. The lad must truly be infatuated if he meant to give it all up for a woman.
