“What should I do, Dexter?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.
“You mean about the baby?”
She nodded, not surprised Portia had told him about her pregnancy. “You didn’t mention that to Josh, did you?”
“I wouldn’t do that. That’s your job. When are you going to do it?”
She remembered the picture Josh had made when he held Paige the night before. She had almost told him then. “When we settle things between us. I don’t want the issues to get confused. I have to go back to him because I love him, not because of the baby.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes.” She was sure of that. “But he hurt me and I have to find a way to get past that.”
“He says he didn’t sleep with her.” At Gloria’s glare, Dexter added, “He doesn’t deny flirting with her, but he’s adamant that he didn’t sleep with her.”
“And you believe him?”
He nodded. “What reason does he have to lie? In a way, it’d be easier if he had slept with her. Then, he could confess and beg you to forgive him.”
Dexter was partially right. It did irritate her that Josh wouldn’t confess what he had done. If he would admit it, she could work on forgiving him. Now, she had to deal with his lying on top of everything else. “How does he explain her clothes strewn around his bedroom and in his bed?”
“He doesn’t. He still maintains that Darlene brought him home from the bar and put him to bed. Alone. The sound of arguing woke him up the next morning. He was surprised to find it was you and Darlene.”
At least Josh was sticking to the same story, she thought. She had to give him credit for that.
“If you don’t think you can forgive him,” Dexter said, “you need to tell him. Soon. He’s turning his life upside down now in hopes that you two will work it out.”
“You’re talking about his job with Elliot?”
“That and the fact that he broke his contract when he left Carolina. They’ve held off on filing the lawsuit, but he’s convinced they’re serious. If you aren’t going to take him back, he’s enduring a lot for nothing.”
“You’re blaming me for Josh’s problems? How fresh. If he could make a decision to come back here now, why couldn’t he have done it before all this trouble?”
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him that. You can’t expect to work out your problems if you won’t talk to him.”
Dexter got up from the table just in time to greet his wife and baby. Portia pulled the high chair near the table and deposited Paige in it. She took Dexter’s seat while he prepared Paige’s breakfast. After placing the food on the baby’s tray, he gave his wife a goodbye kiss and left the kitchen.
“Feeling nauseous again this morning?” Portia asked.
“It’s getting better. Dexter was telling me about his visit with Josh.”
“What did he say?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing new really. The lawsuit from Carolina Electronics. Josh may have been too hasty in leaving, especially since they were offering him a promotion.”
Portia buttered a piece of toast and took a bite. “He’s here because you’re here. Would you consider going back to Raleigh with him?”
Two months ago that had been her plan. Amazing how quickly things changed. “Maybe once, but not now. Too much has happened.”
“I guess he has no choice but to stay here then. And if he stays here, they’re going to file suit against him. This has been a hell of a couple of years for Josh.”
Gloria hadn’t thought about it like that but Portia was right. Josh had suffered a great deal of disappointment in the last two years. And now he was having to give up a perfect job situation. She wished it didn’t have to be so. “We both have. It hasn’t been exactly easy for me either.”
“At least Josh has this partnership with Elliot. Do you think they’ll make a go of it?”
Gloria nodded, though she was uneasy about the partnership with Elliot. More precisely, she’d been uneasy about her relationship with Elliot since their argument. “There’s no doubt. It’ll be a couple of years before they see any real money, but the concept will work.”
“You sound pretty sure of that.”
“I am. The bank financed the venture. It wasn’t considered that risky at all.”
“Thank God for Elliot.”
Gloria wondered about that. Elliot needed someone like Josh to help him. She knew Josh’s input had gone into the winning business plan. Yes, he and Elliot would make a good team. If only . . .
“What are you thinking about?” Portia asked.
“Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you. Something’s on your mind.”
“It’s Elliot.”
“What about him?”
“We had a run-in a few months back.”
“A run-in? You had a fight with Elliot? About what?”
Gloria shook her head. “It wasn’t a fight. He said some things about my marriage that I didn’t appreciate.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh. And guess what? He was right.”
“Is that going to present a problem for you and him in the future?”
That was exactly her concern. If she and Josh worked out their problems, she didn’t want her relationship with Elliot to cause problems for him and Josh. “I don’t think so, but I’m not sure. I haven’t seen him since then.”
Portia wiped the baby’s mouth. She turned her head from side to side in a manner which said she didn’t understand Gloria. “As thorough as you are at work, it amazes me how you allow personal matters to linger. It’s almost as if you think that if you run away from them or don’t deal with them, they’ll go away. But they don’t. You do see that, don’t you?”
***
It had been a week since Josh had seen Gloria, but it seemed like only yesterday. The kiss was still fresh in his mind and in his heart. It had given him the hope he needed to endure their separation. She was still attracted to him. He hoped that meant she still loved him.
If only his work situation showed some hope. Things were moving forward with Elliot and the business, but the threat of the Carolina lawsuit still hung over his head. His last conversation with Carla hadn’t yielded a satisfactory resolution. She was still dangling the carrot of a promotion. It wasn’t as attractive now as it had been when she had first mentioned it. No, that carrot had been dangled at General Electronics and the result had been his termination. Now was not the time to base any career or life decisions on what may or may not happen at a corporation. Josh had gone through a lot to learn that lesson, but learned it he had.
He was actually excited about the work with Elliot. He didn’t understand why he hadn’t taken him up on it when Elliot had first proposed the partnership. If he had, maybe his marriage wouldn’t be in trouble.
This partnership was giving him a sense of control in his life that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He and Elliot could make a go of it. The future was theirs to make. Right now, the money was practically nonexistent, but that was okay. He and Gloria had savings and those savings and her salary would tide them over until he began drawing a salary from the company.
His readiness to accept Gloria’s help to make it through this period made him smile. She’d tried to tell him earlier that this was what marriage was all about. Two people working together toward a common goal. He wanted this partnership for both of them. He longed for the day he could share his experience with her.
The ringing doorbell interrupted his thoughts and he realized he didn’t know what was happening in the game on the television. He flicked off the TV with the remote control and went to the door.
He opened the door to find Darlene standing there. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
She pushed past him and into the house without answering his question.
“Don’t sit down, Darlene,” he said. “You’re not staying.”
She made for the couch and took a seat as if she hadn’t heard him. “I think I am. At least until I can give you a message from Carla.”
Josh reluctantly closed the door and went over to sit in the chair across from her. “You don’t expect me to believe that Carla sent you, do you? Surely, you can do better than that.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “You do know me well, don’t you? I wanted you to know that Carla isn’t going to prosecute. She just hates to lose. That trait runs in our family.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.
“Loosen up, Josh,” she said. “I’m apologizing for being a sore loser. I couldn’t accept it when you chose your marriage. Even though I knew you were in love with your wife, I didn’t think she was in love with you. That made you fair game.”
“You make it sound like a hunting expedition. This is my life we’re talking about here.”
She sobered and he knew she was serious. “And mine too. It was a game between us, Josh. At first. We parried back and forth, we flirted. It hurt to know that I was just a diversion for you. I thought there could be something between us.”
Josh felt like a heel. “I was wrong to do that. You’re right, I never had any intention of breaking my marriage vows or starting something with you. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I’m a big girl,” she said, her playfulness back. “The way I figure it, we’re even now.”
“And how do you figure that?”
“I may have lost you, but you’ve lost your wife. I’d say you’re hurt a lot worse than I am.”
That hurt. It was true, but it hurt. “Is that why you came today, Darlene? To gloat? To be happy that my marriage is tom apart?”
She sobered again. “No, that’s not the reason I’m here. I wanted to tell you that I did spend the night in your bed that night. After you fell asleep, I undressed and got into bed with you. I had plans of seducing you, but you were too out of it. When I woke the next morning and you were still asleep, I decided to prepare breakfast for us. That’s when Gloria found me.”
He rubbed his hand across his head in frustration. “God Darlene, why couldn’t you have told her that?”
“Tell your wife, or even you, for that matter, that I placed myself in your bed, uninvited, with plans to seduce you?” She said it as if that were the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “I don’t think so.”
“Instead you made Gloria think something had happened between us.”
“She thought I was Carla and I didn’t bother correcting her. She assumed we had slept together and I didn’t bother correcting her on that either.”
“What did you hope to gain?”
“I don’t know. A part of me hoped she would leave you and then you’d realize that you loved me. She did leave, but you still didn’t want me.”
Josh never knew that Darlene cared so much. “What made you come here today to tell me all of this?”
She shrugged in a noncommittal way. “Simple guilt. It’s all gotten out of hand. When Carla told me about your leaving and the lawsuit, I knew it had something to do with the day Gloria and I had the run-in. It wasn’t that hard to figure out. Anyway, I came clean with Carla. After I explained that our relationship might come out in court, she decided against the lawsuit.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Very. Carla doesn’t want the family name dragged through the courts. Might get in the way of her plans.”
He knew she was right about Carla. Her plans were more important than anything. He had been like that at one time, but he’d learned that plans could become prisons. People were important. Love was important. Plans were, well, they were just plans. “You didn’t have to come here to tell me that. Carla could have called.”
“I know that, Josh, but I felt I owed you. If you want me to talk with your wife or something, I’ll do that. I don’t know if she’ll believe me, but I’m willing to give it a try. What do you say?”
Twenty-Four
Gloria was tired when she woke up Saturday morning. Thoughts of herself, Josh, and the baby had her tossing and turning for most of the night. Outside forces were taking away the leisure she had with which to deal with her situation. She had to make a decision. The sooner the better.
She knew what she wanted. She just wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. Shouldn’t Josh have to suffer longer for his indiscretion? Would she be a fool to forgive him so quickly? Would he do it again if she did?
The rational part of her knew that her forgiveness would have no bearing on Josh’s future fidelity. But her emotions continually told her that if she made him suffer enough, he’d never betray her again. She needed to do something to give herself the security.
But on this Saturday morning, she knew there were no guarantees. If she took Josh back, there was no surety that he wouldn’t stray again. The only surety would be her trust and faith in him.
Could she allow herself to trust him again? She wanted to. God knows, she wanted to. But before she could give in to her desire, she and Josh had to come to an understanding about what had happened. Either he had to tell the truth or she had to believe his version of the events of that fateful Saturday.
With that in mind, Gloria got out of bed and dressed. Breakfast was out of the question since her stomach was still playing tricks on her. She grabbed a piece of dry toast and hit the streets.
Elliot and Marilyn were having breakfast when she arrived at their home. She greeted Marilyn with a kiss on the cheek before asking to speak to Elliot alone.
“I need a man’s view on this situation with me and Josh,” she said to Marilyn. “Do you mind if I borrow Elliot?”
In answer, Marilyn gave her a compassionate hug, smiled at her husband, and left them seated in the kitchen.
“How are things going with you and Josh working together?” she asked.
“Great. Josh and I always got along well.”
“No problems?” she asked. Now that she was here, she was getting cold feet.
He shook his head. “I’m sorry for what happened between us, Gloria. I didn’t mean to sound self-righteous.”
“That’s not why I’m here, Elliot. I owe you an apology. You were right about everything. Can you forgive me?”
A grin spread across Elliot’s face and Gloria knew she was already forgiven. “Consider it done,” he said.
“Good,” she said. “You and Marilyn have been good friends to me and Josh, and I need to know that the friendships can continue.”
“I don’t think we’ll have any problems.” His eyes smiled for the first time since the conversation had started. “I’m glad we had this talk.”
She smiled. “I’m glad we talked, too. I’m learning the value of keeping the air clear at all times.”
“Now that we have that settled, when are you and Josh getting back together?”
She rose from her seat and smiled again. “Soon, Elliot, real soon.”
***
Gloria recognized the car as soon as she saw it parked in the driveway. Her driveway. Her first emotions were anger and hurt. Anger that Darlene would dare come to her home. And hurt that Josh would allow it. Her first inclination was to speed past the house without stopping. She didn’t do that though. Running away wouldn’t solve anything. If she went into the house now, she might get the answers she needed, though not necessarily the ones she wanted.
She pulled her car into the driveway and got out, taking care not to slam the door. She walked slowly to the front door; afraid of what she might see when she walked in. She considered ringing the bell, but decided against it. She needed to walk in unannounced.
She turned the knob and the door opened. She heard voices coming from the living room as she closed the door and walked quietly into the foyer. She knew she should make her presence known. That was the honest thing to do. But she didn’t do it. She stood in the foyer, hidden from their view, and listened to their conversa
tion.
As the words flowed between them, she felt the tension in her fade away. She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her. Josh had been telling the truth after all. He hadn’t slept with Darlene. Her relief was so powerful that her knees almost buckled and she had to lean against the wall to maintain her posture.
“If you want me to talk with your wife or something, I would do that,” she overheard Darlene say. “I’d be willing to give it a try. What do you say?”
“I appreciate your offer,” she heard him answer. “But that’s not what Gloria and I need right now. You aren’t the problem. The problem is us. It’s taken me a while to see it, but I see it now. This is something that Gloria and I have to work out.”
“If you’re sure,” she heard Darlene say.
Gloria turned and left the house as quietly as she had entered. She had heard enough. Enough to make her happy. But also enough to make her sad. Josh was right. His supposed infidelity was only a part of the problem. They couldn’t get back together just because that problem was resolved. No, they needed to address the bigger issues that lay between them. She hoped they had the courage to do it. Deep down inside she knew they did.
***
Gloria wasn’t surprised when Josh showed up at Dexter and Portia’s later that night. She was half expecting him. After greetings and some cursory conversation, Dexter and Portia left them alone in the living room.
“When I lost the job at General Electronics,” Josh began, “I felt like a failure. No, it was more than that, I felt like history was repeating itself. I thought I was going to be like my father. And do you know what? I became him.”
Gloria knew something special was happening between them. Josh was going back to the beginning, telling her things that had bothered him. Things that she had sensed, but that he wouldn’t share with her. Her heart overflowed with love for him.
“I never told you about him. At least, not in any detail. He lost his job the year I was eleven. I’ll never forget it. At first, there was no change. We were such a happy family. So close. There was always laughter around the house. Dad was a big kidder and he kept Mom and me laughing.
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