She gasped. “I’m sorry. I should’ve checked on you.” She rushed to her dresser, where his prescription bottle sat. Clutching it in her hand, she hurried back and thrust it at him. “If you need to rest another day, we can—”
“No. We’ll leave in the morning as planned.”
“Not at the risk of your health.” She crossed her arms.
“You can drive. I’ll take a nap if I have to.” It took all his willpower not to kiss her, pounding head or not. To see whether her lips felt the same as twelve years ago. Did her curves fit his angles like a puzzle? He shook his pounding head. Now was not the time. One thing he did know for sure, he wouldn’t let her disappear again without telling her how he felt. Then, if she wanted to walk away again, he’d know he’d done everything he could.
Zoe steered the Hummer onto the highway. Dewayne sat in the passenger seat nursing a coffee and staring out the window. She wanted to ask him about his thoughts, but the fear that he might be glad their time together was drawing to a close stopped her.
The ring in her pocket threatened to burn into her leg. Should she give it back after all this time? She couldn’t. The small silver circle was the only reminder of what might have been. Somehow, she needed to tell Dewayne she still loved him and let him make the next move. But what if he turned around and left her as she’d done to him? It’d be what she deserved.
She powered her window down an inch to let the fall breeze inside. Maybe she should just blurt out the feelings in her heart, lay them out there to see whether he accepted them or trampled them like dry autumn leaves. Or tell him how her life verse applied even in their current circumstances. What the good was to be found in this particular circumstance. Because she didn’t regret God bringing her and Dewayne back together again. Not for one minute.
The idea that she might have to continue on for the rest of her life with his ring in her pocket, comparing every man she met to the one she wanted, sent rivulets of fear through her veins.
From the corner of her eye she could tell he slept, or pretended to. His head rested sideways against the window, eyes closed, mouth set in a firm line. She wanted to smooth away the frown lines between his eyes.
She was the biggest coward she knew. Maybe she could tell him how she felt while he was asleep. Like a practice run before they reached Colorado Springs. “Dewayne? Are you awake?”
Not even a twitch. She took a deep breath. “I kept the ring all these years because I never stopped loving you.” There. Not too bad of a beginning. “I didn’t have the heart to tell you about Mom taking me away. If you’d tried to talk me out of going, I would’ve left her to go without me, and I don’t think I could’ve lived with the guilt.” Tears stung her eyes and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. “I know you’re not going to hear a word of this, but I’ve got to tell you. And maybe, hopefully, I’ll get up the nerve again when we get to Colorado Springs.”
She cut a sideways glance to see whether he’d moved. Nope. Still good to go. “I’m sorry I dragged you all the way out here. If you hadn’t been so generous, your truck wouldn’t be smashed, you wouldn’t be injured, and I wouldn’t have this lovely purple knot on my head. I should’ve waited for the bus.” But then she wouldn’t have spent the last couple of days with him.
“You want to know how God brought good out of this situation? I’ve come to terms with my feelings. I love you, Dewayne Hofford, and I have no intention of letting you go. I’ll set up my flower shop wherever you are until you realize you still love me, too.” Whew. She’d said it. Now, if she could only do a repeat performance when he was awake.
The tires droning on the freeway threatened to lure her into drowsiness. A sign announced a gas station half a mile ahead. Zoe glanced at the gas gauge. Fuel, a soda, and a bathroom break ought to last them until the hotel.
She turned on her blinker and took the access road. Dewayne mumbled when the Hummer went over a pothole, but didn’t waken. Zoe pulled beside a gas pump and cut the engine. She might as well get him something to drink, too. He’d be thirsty when he woke up.
After filling the tank, Zoe headed inside and made her way to the restrooms in the back of the station. She stared at herself in the dingy mirror, wondering what in the world compelled her to spill her guts to a sleeping man. Was she that big of a chicken? She shook her head in defeat, knowing the answer.
Ten minutes later, a diet cola in one hand and a regular in the other, she made her way back to the Hummer. Dewayne sat awake, a puzzled look on his face.
She handed him his drink through the open window then resumed her place behind the wheel. “Did you have a good nap?”
“Not sure. I had the weirdest dream.” He frowned at her.
Zoe’s blood drained to her feet. Avoiding his gaze, she turned the key in the ignition. “Want to talk about it?”
“No.” He turned to stare out the window.
The cold soda felt good on his parched tongue. Did he want to talk about his crazy dream? Not in a million years. Telling Zoe that he dreamed she had spouted words of love to him would probably make the last hour’s drive seem much longer.
He turned to study her. What if he did tell her? How would she respond to his words of love? Most likely stroll out of his life again, even quicker than the last time. Well, he’d see about that. Once he had her settled in Colorado Springs, he’d tell her his feelings and let God handle the outcome.
“Are you excited?”
“What?” She cast him a glance.
“About meeting with your cousins tomorrow.” He took a sip of his drink.
“Very. A year is a long time to be away from family.”
A knocking sound came from under the hood of the Hummer. Zoe’s hands tightened on the wheel. “What now?”
“Most likely damage from the accident.” He leaned over to see whether any engine lights were blinking. Nothing. “Just keep driving.”
“What if we break down?”
He shrugged. “We’ll worry about that if it happens. If smoke starts pouring from under the hood, pull over.” No telling what kind of damage was done when they’d run into the ditch. His heart clenched. He loved his Hummer, but it was only a vehicle. The important thing was, neither he nor Zoe was badly hurt. Physically, at least.
Chapter 10
Zoe parked the Hummer in front of the Broadmoor Hotel, handed Dewayne the keys, and slid from behind the wheel. The valet glanced at the truck and raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, we ran into a little trouble on the road,” Zoe told him as she stood off to the side, suitcase at her feet. After losing her precious quilt squares once, she didn’t want to let them out of her sight. She studied the gorgeous building in front of her.
The hotel towered above lush, perfectly manicured lawns. What a wonderful place to spend a honeymoon. She peered at Dewayne. Maybe after their talk. Oh, who was she kidding? The expense of the place meant she’d better enjoy every minute of her reunion and not entertain ideas of a happily ever after with Dewayne. But it would be nice to enjoy every minute with him.
He jangled the keys to his truck. “We made it.”
Zoe smiled. “Yes, we did, thanks to you. Are you coming in?”
He shook his head. “A little over my budget, I’m afraid. I’ll check into a cheaper place and head home in the morning.”
She fought to keep her chin from quivering. “I’ll see you in a few days when my car is finished. You have my cell phone number?”
“I do.” He gathered her in a quick hug. “Take care of yourself and have fun, Zoe.” He strode to the driver’s side of the car and slid behind the wheel. Without so much as a wave, he left her standing in the Colorado sunshine, a battered suitcase at her feet and her heart shattering into a billion pieces.
After the Hummer disappeared from view, Zoe clutched the handle of her suitcase and wheeled it to the registration desk. “Zoe Barnes, checking in.”
“You’re in one of our cottages.” The clerk handed her a key card and
a dentist-brightened smile. “Enjoy your stay, Ms. Barnes.” He waved a bellhop over.
“Thank you.” Zoe would. Tomorrow, she’d meet her cousins after a long year apart and together they’d fulfill Nana’s dying wish. She’d deal with the emotions surrounding Dewayne when it was time to retrieve her Mustang.
The bellhop led the way to her assigned cottage and opened the door. Zoe stepped into a room less like a cottage than anything she’d ever seen. Rich fabrics, plush furnishings, and a lit fireplace welcomed her to a world of luxury she’d never had the fortune to enjoy. By the time she’d stopped gawking and turned to tip the man who’d led the way, he’d disappeared.
Had Dewayne tipped the man when Zoe wasn’t looking? No way would the bellhop leave otherwise. One more thing that pointed to Dewayne’s gentlemanly and caring ways. She was a fool to let him walk away, and once she’d fulfilled Nana’s dying wish, she’d tell him so.
She stepped into the room that would be her home for a few days and plopped on the sofa. This was the life! A large picture window framed a vibrant green lawn. She headed in the direction of the bathroom. All white and glass, with striped wallpaper. With such elegance, what would the bedroom be like?
“Oh!” She rushed toward the padded window seat, bypassing the white bed with rose-accented pillows. She simply had to curl up by the window. She dashed for her suitcase, tossed it on the nearby chair, and pulled out her quilt squares. Finally, situated in the type of seat she’d always wanted as a little girl, she spread the fabric pieces out around her, running her finger softly over the one she’d designed herself. Another, uncompleted, and rather plain, simply had her mother’s name embroidered in blue.
Maybe Zoe could finish her mother’s square before the meeting tomorrow. The cottage room could be her inspiration. She dug in her suitcase for the small amount of embroidery thread she’d shoved inside. Pinks and reds with a touch of green would set off her mother’s name nicely and add another completed square to the mix. She glanced out the window. What better place to do an act of love than this?
Two hours later, stomach rumbling from having skipped lunch, Zoe studied the white linen square in front of her. Roses in two of the corners, her mother’s name, and the words “John 3:16” were the entire legacy her mother had left her. Thank You, Lord, that Mom found You before she died.
She moved to the living area and picked up the booklet listing the hotel’s amenities. She flipped through and decided on Café Julie. A salad and a glass of tea sounded perfect. After a shower and change of clothes, she headed out, careful to take her purse and key with her.
As soon as she stepped out of her room, a couple strolled by arm in arm, and loneliness assailed Zoe with the same force as the thunderstorm days before. What would it be like to spend time with Dewayne in a place like this?
She blinked against the tears. She’d only be lonely for a few hours, and then she’d be meeting up with her cousins. She could survive until then.
Dewayne checked into a run-down motel, a place that suited his mood, and propped himself against the bed’s scarred headboard, not bothering to remove his boots. He flipped aimlessly through the few television channels allowed free of charge, with the intention of doing so until his mind went as numb as his heart.
What he wanted to do was storm back to the Broadmoor and confront Zoe with his feelings. Only fear of rejection kept him from doing it. Sure, he’d heard her spout words of love when she thought he was asleep, but she’d professed to love him twelve years ago, too, when she’d run off, taking his heart with her.
He pounded his fist on the unyielding mattress. Could he take the chance of rejection again? If he didn’t, would he always wish he had? For the first time in many years he wanted to reach for a bottle of something stronger than soda to drink. How would Zoe react if she knew he’d turned to drinking after she left? Most likely run screaming into the night, considering her mother’s alcoholism and death.
He’d only experimented anyway. Never did get a real taste for it. He clicked off the television and stared at the water-stained ceiling. Maybe a walk would help clear his head.
Pocketing his room card, he exited the motel and watched as neon pink highlighted the parking lot. When had night fallen? Zoe could muddle his mind faster and thicker than any concussion.
His legs carried him down the dark street. A cold wind blew, and he shivered. Before he knew it, he stood in front of a jewelry store window, eyeballing a diamond ring that put the one in Zoe’s pocket to shame. What would it be like to slip one like that on her finger? Would she scream, cry, run? He shook his head and pulled away from stupid dreams.
He could call her. His cell phone nestled in the pocket of his jeans. What would it hurt to check on her? Make sure she was settled in okay? He pulled the phone from his pocket and punched in her number. When her voice mail picked up, he slipped the cover shut. Stupid idea anyway. Most likely she sat in a lounge somewhere catching up with her cousins, having forgotten all about him and the last few days.
Tomorrow, he’d do the same. Head back to Mesquite and concentrate on fixing her car and his. Then, he’d never see her again. The thought hurt like a knife to the stomach. He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t let her walk away again. He turned and retraced his steps.
Chapter 11
Zoe sat in the hotel restaurant, scooting her eggs around her plate with her fork. She’d slept very little the night before. Visions of Dewayne as a high school senior, then as a man, ran through her mind like a spool of film. She’d let go of a prize and had no idea how to get it back.
Couples smiled and chattered to each other. One man reached over and stroked the cheek of his companion. A woman brushed a man’s shoulder on her way to the restroom. Zoe sighed. That’s what she wanted. Tenderness aimed in her direction.
She tossed her fork on her plate. What did she expect? A person couldn’t rip out another person’s heart and expect to be shown love.
The words she’d heard when Dewayne slept returned to her. She’d take a chance. Grabbing her purse, she dug out some cash, slipped it under the lip of her plate, and then stood and strolled from the restaurant. There couldn’t be that many cheap motels in the area. She’d call his cell phone. If he didn’t answer, she’d call every motel around until she found him. Then she’d rent a taxi and throw herself at Dewayne’s feet. Hopefully he hadn’t left Colorado Springs yet.
She stopped in the middle of the hotel lobby. Her cousins expected to meet with her at three. How could she leave now? She took another step toward the door. Nobody could keep her from telling Dewayne how she felt. Not this time. She shoved open the glass door and bolted into the morning sunshine.
Finding a seat beside the fountain, she pulled her phone from her purse and tried Dewayne’s number. No answer. She activated her GPS in a search for motels. There were a few really cheap ones, but surely Dewayne could afford better than those. He owned several auto shops after all. Cold calling was futile.
Zoe let her tears fall. She didn’t care who saw. Once again she’d made the wrong choice and allowed what was right there to slip through her fingers. She stared at her closed phone. Should she try calling again? Her fingers poised over the buttons. She couldn’t. He’d walked away without a backward glance. The best thing was to let him go.
“Are you all right, dear?” An elderly woman with stylish hair and clothes that cost more than the contents of Zoe’s entire suitcase smiled down at her.
“No. I made the biggest mistake of my life. For the second time.” Zoe’s shoulders shook with the force of her sobs. “He’ll never forgive me this time.”
The woman sat next to her. “Almost everything can be forgiven, sweetie.”
“I let him walk away again.” She sniffed.
“Go get him now.”
“I don’t know where he is.”
“Call him.” The woman nodded toward Zoe’s phone. “I’ll sit with you.”
“I tried. He didn’t answer.”
“Try a
gain. And keep trying until he answers.”
Zoe nodded, wiped her eyes on the sleeve of the pink hoodie she wore, and dialed Dewayne’s number. The phone went to voice mail. She hung up without leaving a message. “He didn’t answer this time either. I’m too late.”
“God’s in control, dear. Remember that.” The lady squeezed Zoe’s shoulders then stood. “I will pray for you.”
Zoe nodded and raised her head to thank her new friend. She was gone. Zoe stood and searched the few people wandering the grounds. The lovely woman was nowhere to be seen. Had Zoe entertained an angel unaware? She smiled. Possibly. At any rate, she felt better, lighter, since speaking with the stranger. She slipped her phone in her purse.
She would try Dewayne again later. After her meeting with the cousins. She turned and headed for the main building.
Dewayne left the Hummer with valet parking and sprinted for the hotel’s entrance. Maybe he could catch Zoe before her meeting. He sighed and waited in line for the front desk, one leg jittering, while a family of five checked into the hotel. Each moment he had to wait was one more minute away from telling Zoe how he felt.
Finally, his turn. The pretty blond woman’s gaze flicked over his wrinkled clothes and he could tell she forced a greeting. “May I help you?”
“Zoe Barnes’s room, please.” Dewayne leaned against the counter.
“Do you know the room number?”
“No, I’m hoping you can give it to me.” He flashed her his best smile.
Her coldness melted a little, but not enough for her to budge. “I’m afraid we can’t do that. I can ring her room if you’d like.”
“That would be great.” He didn’t want Zoe to have warning he was coming, but at this point, he’d take what he could get.
“There’s no answer, sir. Would you like to leave a message?”
Dewayne shook his head. “She’s meeting three other women. Do you know where?”
The clerk’s tweezed eyebrows disappeared beneath her hairline. “Most likely one of their rooms, sir. I cannot give you—”
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