He laughed. “We couldn’t make it into the movies, and declined the offer to be porn stars. We were pretty much broke when Cal Fire accepted our applications. Mr. Harrington didn’t want his son to be a firefighter, so he paid for his helicopter training.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
“I was okay with it. Brent’s dad is a retired general with high expectations and standards that he expects his sons to live up too.” Shane added, “He’s all right.”
Lauren cleared her throat. “Shane, let’s get this straight. You’re not a screw-up, and I have high expectations for you too. You’ll get into a good med school, I promise.”
“Thanks for your vote of confidence. Now to more important details. When am I going to see you again?” He needed her. It had been nearly a week since they’d been together, and he was desperate to touch her, hold her, see the special look in her eyes. With Lauren, he felt whole again.
“What, now? You want to come over?”
“Sure. Is Josh asleep?”
“Uh-huh.” He could hear the smile in her voice. She whispered, “I miss your kisses, and you holding me.”
“Anything else?”
“That too.” She spoke so quietly, he strained to hear her. “I want to make love to you. I think about it all the time.”
“Me too. You were incredible, and you were so tight around me. I’m not just saying that because it’s been a long time. You’re an amazing woman. Both in and out of bed.”
She cleared her throat. “I promise I’ll get a sitter this week, even if I have to ask one of the nurses.”
“Good, but if you want, I can be at your place in about twenty minutes.” He held his breath, hoping for the invitation.
“If I didn’t have Josh, I’d say yes. But if he wakes up and you’re here, it would send him mixed signals. I don’t want that.”
“I understand. And you’re right. I’m just being selfish.” He paused for a second, not wanting to hang up. With only Major for conversation it got a little dull around the place.
“I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
“I’m sure you will.” He hid his disappointment. “It’s getting late, and you have a full day ahead. Sleep well and dream of me.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
A school bus on a field trip had collided with an SUV at the intersection of 710 and West Pacific Coast Highway, and Shane and Rick were among the convoy of ambulances bringing in the children. By the middle of the afternoon, all the gurneys were full and beds had been shuffled around to make room for the new arrivals.
Although he’d been unable to speak to her, Shane had seen Lauren fighting to save some kid’s life, and had known the moment she lost him for good. In a trembling voice she announced the time of death, then she tore her gloves off and stormed out of the ER, leaving a scene of chaos behind her.
He followed her out and found her leaning against a wall, her eyes closed, hands shielding her face. He called her name, and she opened her eyes. They were brimming with tears.
“You okay?” he whispered, putting his hands on her shoulders.
“No.” She leaned against him and sucked in a deep breath. “No, I’m not okay.”
“Lauren, you can’t blame yourself. That poor child was barely hanging on when we brought him in. He was lucky to have made it to the hospital.”
“Lucky? You call him lucky? He was nine years old.” She stuffed her hands in her pockets. “He’ll never be a teenager, never have a first date, never graduate from high school, never grow up. It isn’t fair.” She rocked back and forth on her feet, clearly stressed.
“I know how you feel. I saw so many young kids blown up. And for what? But this is different. He didn’t have any choice but to be where he was.” Shane sighed. “But you couldn’t save him. Nobody could.”
“I should have.” Her eyes flew open, and she beat her fists against his chest. “It’s not right for children to die. It’s my job to save them.”
He captured her fists. “Get it together, Lauren. You have other patients who need you right now. Ones that you can save.”
She straightened and ran a hand through her hair. “Yes, I know. You don’t have to tell me how to do my job. I just needed a moment. I didn’t ask for your comfort.”
“And I didn’t give it. You’re stronger than that.”
She glanced away from him, blinking back tears. “You’re right about that.” She sniffed and sucked in some air. After a few seconds, she hooked her arm through his. “Let’s go save some lives, shall we?”
They never got another chance to speak. But he could see in the lines of her face the toll it took on her.
They saved most of the children, and minimized the severity of the wounds of the less injured, but the good they did was overshadowed by their loss.
Lauren didn’t get home until close to midnight. It had been a grueling day. Of the twenty-eight children on the bus, nine had sustained serious injuries. Of those, three were in critical care—and two were in the morgue.
She poured a stiff drink and took it with her to Josh’s room. She sat in a chair facing the bed and watched her son sleep. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she listened to his steady breathing, watched the soft rise and fall of his chest. Her son was alive tonight, while two other families were facing the unbearable heartache of knowing their child would never come home.
She put the cool glass against her forehead and closed her eyes. She was a doctor. It was her job to save them. Losing a patient always hurt, but when it was a child, it was unacceptable. Why couldn’t they save them all? In what world was it okay to let a child die?
She lifted a hand and caressed her son’s cheek, smoothing his hair off his face, then straightening his bed covers. He was the most precious thing in the world, and she loved him more than life itself.
Sniffing, she blinked back tears, thinking of the mothers who’d lost their babies tonight. She couldn’t imagine living without Josh. It had been unbearable enough losing her husband, but a child was a part of you, more than an eye or a limb. A child was your heart and your soul, and all your happiness wrapped into one. She lived for his smile, his tiny embrace, the way his eyes could light up, his rosy cheeks glowing with happiness.
A busy week passed, and Shane never did get his “date” with the beautiful doctor. But on Tuesday of the next week he took a personal day so he could be with Josh for bring-your-father-to-school day.
Wearing a pair of khakis and a short-sleeved shirt, Shane picked Josh up at seven-thirty. He hadn’t been sure what to wear, but didn’t want to overdo it either.
Josh beamed the moment he saw him. Lauren looked pleased too. Brownie points never hurt. It might make their lovemaking even sweeter—if they could ever find the time for it.
Lauren walked them to the car, kissed Josh good-bye, and asked him if he’d remembered his book for reading time. He hadn’t and ran back into the house for it, and Lauren whispered to Shane that she’d found a babysitter for that evening.
It was going to be his lucky day after all.
When they arrived at school, they were invited to join a continental breakfast in the auditorium. Shane was amazed to see the number of fathers who had shown up to support their kids. Must be close to a hundred, he figured.
“What’s going to happen today?” he asked Josh while he put a second doughnut on his plate.
“You shouldn’t eat that. Mom tells me it’s full of sugar, and to eat a bagel instead.”
“Your mom is right, but she’s not here, and I’m not telling.”
“You mean I can have one?”
“Sure can. If I were you, I’d go for the chocolate.”
Josh dumped the bagel into a bin and grabbed a big, gooey chocolate cream doughnut, a guilty smile on his face. “It’s okay to be bad once in a while. My mom tells me that when she eats things she shouldn’t.”
“Your mother is a very clever woman.”
“I know. She’s a doctor.”
<
br /> “Is that what you’re going to be when you get older?”
“No. I want to be a firefighter, or an astronaut.”
“Well, they’ve shut down the space program for the time being, so you better set your sights on being a firefighter.”
“Or a policeman. I could catch the bad guys.”
“That you could. But police officers get shot at sometimes.” He pretended to shiver in fright. “It can get scary.”
“Well, I could work in an ambulance like you. You get to go through red lights, and have a siren on, and everything.”
“Yes, but that’s not all we do.”
“But that’s the fun part, isn’t it?”
“You got me there.” Shane drank his chocolate milk through a straw. “This is pretty good.”
“Mom lets me have it, but she prefers white milk.”
“Natch. I wouldn’t expect less from her.”
Josh wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “After you’re finished, we can go to my classroom and you can meet the teacher and the other kids.” He stood up. “Are you ready yet? This is so cool. Extra, extra cool. Can you stay all day?”
“Sure. I’m all yours today.”
Shane followed Josh down the hall to his classroom and sat in a small chair next to him. Nearly all the fathers were there, and only a few children sat alone. He was glad Josh wasn’t one of them. Not today.
The fathers joined in during the regular classroom activities, and even got to go out for recess. When they returned, the teacher invited the fathers to speak about their careers. A few of them got up, and Shane did too.
“My name is Shane Dawson, and I’m here with Josh because I’m a close family friend. Some of you may know that his mother is a doctor in the emergency room at the hospital, and I’m an EMT. That’s short for Emergency Medical Technician, or paramedic. When someone calls 911, we show up. Our job is to keep the patient alive and get them to the hospital where they can be properly treated.”
One hand shot up. “Have you ever seen anyone die?”
“Yes, all too often.” He glanced around to see the other hands. He pointed to a child in the back row.
“What happens when they die?” the skinny kid asked. “Do they go to heaven?”
“Well, I can’t say for sure. All we can do is hope.”
Shane tried to sit down and let the other fathers have the floor, but the children didn’t want to know about ordinary professions, they wanted to hear about the life and death world of the paramedic.
After fifteen minutes, the teacher stepped in to save him.
“That’s enough questions, children. It’s been a fascinating discussion, but I’m sure we’d like to hear from some other fathers too.” The young, attractive teacher smiled at him, and Shane smiled back.
“She likes you,” Josh whispered. “Don’t smile at her. Mom won’t like it.”
“Naw. She’s just being friendly.” He ruffled Josh’s strawberry blonde hair. “Your mom wouldn’t care.”
“Yes, she would. And you’re wrong. Miss Marshall keeps looking at you.” He hung his head. “I wish you were really my dad and not just a family friend.”
“We have to start somewhere.”
“Yeah, I know.” His face brightened. “Mom really likes you.”
“The feeling’s mutual. I like her too.”
“Then why don’t you marry her? Then we could be a real family.” He hugged Shane’s arm. “I want you for my daddy.”
Shane wasn’t sure how this conversation got started, but he certainly knew it was headed down the wrong path. He needed to nip it in the bud before Josh got too carried away. But how? What could he say that wouldn’t completely dash this boy’s hopes?
He figured honesty worked. “I have a few problems that I still need to sort out. Coming back from the war, I got a little messed up, and I wouldn’t want you or your mom to have to deal with it. Like I can’t sleep, and when I do I have terrible nightmares. Sometimes I scream and thrash around in the middle of the night.” He grinned. “Now who would want to marry a guy like that?”
“Mom would. You should ask her.”
“Josh, I know how much you want this, but it’s better if the three of us remain friends. At least for now.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Lauren had found a babysitter for the night, and was eager to spend the evening in Shane’s arms. When he brought Josh home from school, her son made a beeline for the kitchen and his after-school snack, and she told Shane what she’d planned.
“Instead of wasting time going out for dinner, I’ll drive over to your place and we can order Thai food. You like Thai, don’t you?”
“Sure, love it, but you don’t have to do that. I’m happy to pick you up and take you someplace nice. We don’t get a chance to go out very often.” His eyes locked on hers. “Let’s make it a romantic night.”
“Forget it. Our time is too limited, and I don’t want to spend it dining.” She lowered her voice, just in case Josh had big ears. “We see each other all the time, but I don’t get to make love to you very often.”
He grinned. “You are impatient, aren’t you? Whatever happened to foreplay?”
“When I come over we can have as much as we want.” She leaned in close and nuzzled his cheek. “Although I could do you right now and be happy.”
He linked his fingers with hers. “I had a great time with Josh today. I’m glad I was there. Nearly all the kids had their fathers, and the kids that didn’t looked completely miserable. I felt for them.”
“You’re such a good person, and I can’t wait to show you my appreciation.”
“Neither can I.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Will it take long?”
“A good portion of the night.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Josh walked into the room, glancing from one face to the other.
Lauren moved away from Shane. “We’re making plans. I’m going to tutor him at his place tonight and Mandy is going to babysit you.”
“I don’t want a babysitter.” He plopped down on the floor and put his face in his hands.
“You like Mandy. She helps you with your homework and then plays games with you.”
“Will she play Wii with me?”
“Sure she will. It’ll be fun.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “What do you have to say to Shane? Did you enjoy having him with you today?”
He looked up. “I did. It was the best. But I think Miss Marshall has a crush on him.”
“Why do you say that?” Lauren glanced at Shane and noticed his heightened color. A pang of jealousy shot right through her. Caroline Marshall was in her early twenties, tall and slim, with naturally wavy long blonde hair. She had a small upturned nose, perky boobs, and a perky smile. Just too damned perky. “Well, is it true?”
“Heck if I know,” he said. “I didn’t talk to her, if that’s what you mean.”
“I don’t mean anything. Just curious.” She looked him up and down. “After all, I know what the nurses think of you.”
“I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me.”
She felt warm relief and gave him a big smile. “That’s nice.” She turned back to her son. “So what else did you want to say, Josh?”
“Thanks, Uncle Shane.”
“You’re welcome, son.”
Josh had started calling him uncle without anyone suggesting it, but it seemed natural and right. Still, she felt a flutter of panic hearing him call Josh son. That sent another message entirely.
Shane was not theirs to keep, no matter how much she was starting to wish things could be different.
When Lauren showed up at Shane’s apartment, she was delighted to see that he’d set up the small table on the balcony with a white tablecloth and a large candle. There was a soft breeze, but it was a beautiful night to dine outdoors.
“Knowing how impatient you are,” he said, “I ordered the food already. It should be here any minute.” He took her in his arms and k
issed her neck and bare shoulder.
“Did I ever tell you that I love your shoulders?” He dropped kisses along the length of one. “Strong, decisive, just like you.”
When she was young, she’d been embarrassed by her large, square shoulders, but now she carried them with pride. “I’m glad, because they’re here to stay.”
He smiled. “And I adore your perfect little nose and your sweet pointy chin.” He gave it a little squeeze. “But most of all, I love that sexy mouth.” His lips found hers, and he kissed her softly. Lauren deepened the kiss, tasting him, hungering for him, tongue matching thrust for thrust.
Out of breath, she pushed back for a second. She ran her fingers through his hair and her tongue along his neck. She peeked up at him and whispered, “I love your smile, your touch, the way you kiss me and say the sweetest things.”
“It’s easy to say things when you mean them.” His eyes were so earnest, she felt a pang of longing deep inside.
“When’s that food going to arrive?”
He took her hand and led her to the couch. “Shouldn’t be long, but why waste time? Why don’t you kick your shoes off and make yourself comfortable?”
She did as she was told, and then pulled him down on top of her. “I like your weight on me. You feel just right.”
He shifted enough so that he could slip his good hand between them and cup her breasts. “Perfection. Did they come from a catalogue, or were you just born lucky?”
She grimaced. “They’re too big.”
He nuzzled them with his nose and mouth. “They’re just right.”
“Can we—”
“There’s the door.” He jumped up and grabbed his wallet from the kitchen counter. “Back in a minute. Hold that thought.”
“It’s about time,” she grumbled teasingly.
She helped him unpack the cartons and carry them to the balcony table. The sun had set, and a few stars glimmered on the horizon. They could see the ocean in the dim light, but they caught a whiff of the sea breeze before it was lost in the scent of the candle and the delicious aroma of food.
Handle With Care Page 16
