by Jan Springer
“Brady?” Dead silence.
Shoot. The call got dropped. She hung up. She waited a minute and tried his number. Nothing.
Another blast of wind slammed against the windows making her jump. She gazed at the clock. Nine o’clock.
She doubted Brady would call her back tonight. He would go to bed and that’s exactly what she needed to do too. She grabbed the emergency flashlight and did a routine check to make sure all the doors and windows were locked.
Although the closest neighbor was more than a hundred kilometers away, she was still unnerved by what had happened when her stepbrother had shown up and kidnapped her months ago. She had the feeling that the horrible experience was something that would take her a long time to get over.
After a quick hot shower, she made a toasty fire in the fireplace in her bedroom. The electricity still hadn’t gone out, but the wind continued to hammer at the windows, so JJ lit a candle and placed the flashlight on the night table. Removing her robe, she slipped naked between her sheets and picked up the letter Kaley had given to her today.
Sadness welled up inside JJ as she tore open the letter. Many of the women she’d met in prison had been hardened over the years of incarceration, but Milena Allen still had a gentle nature, even after being in prison twelve years.
She had a similar background to JJ. No father in the picture, no siblings and a loving mother who had taken care of Milena until her mom had died of cancer when she’d been eight. Milena had had no relatives willing to take her in so she’d been tossed from foster home to foster home. Word on the rumor mill was Milena had fallen in with the wrong crowd and ended up with a maximum prison sentence for a brutal murder while she’d been high on drugs.
They’d become close friends for a year. Milena was always badgering JJ to take available correspondence courses, but due to her anxiety issues, JJ had opted to remain in familiar surroundings in her cell with her TV and had never followed Milena’s advice.
Then one day Milena hadn’t shown for breakfast. JJ had been devastated to learn her friend had been shipped out to another penitentiary and they had lost touch over the years. But now Milena had found her.
Her hands trembled as she read the letter.
Dear Jennifer Jane,
I hope this letter finds you well. I just heard through the grapevine that you got an early parole through the Freedom Run and Cowboys Online programs. A huge congratulations. I am so happy for you. Didn’t I tell you that you got a very bad deal? That you should never have gone to prison?
Anyways, I also heard you are working on a ranch for the brother of the woman who runs Cowboys Online. I don’t know if you have any pull with his sister, but you know me personally. If you can vouch for me to that lady, I would forever be in your debt. I have put my name into both programs but have not heard anything back.
I do hope we can meet again and please know I think of you often. Sending you warm hugs. Thank you in advance for any strings you can pull.
Love, Milena Allen
Warmth flooded JJ as she remembered Milena’s tendency of giving warm hugs. JJ did some mental calculations and figured Milena would be around thirty-three now. Despite having had a continuing drug problem even in prison, JJ knew deep in her heart that Milena was a caring woman. Maybe if she talked to Jenna she could look into helping out Milena too?
She had talked to Jenna a few times over the past year when she called and spoke with Brady. Jenna seemed to be a kind-hearted woman. One would have to be, in order to run a company like Cowboys Online. But JJ didn’t want to take advantage of the woman and her program. She also didn’t want to disappoint Milena.
Reaching over, JJ grabbed the phone and was surprised to hear a dial tone. Opening her night table drawer, she pulled out her personal phone book where she kept a handful of phone numbers and then she dialed Jenna.
Chapter Two
The roar of an incoming plane early the next morning had JJ rushing out of the ranch and wincing as cold air slapped across her face as she ran along the trail down toward the lake. Dawn was breaking and spooky shadows hugged the surrounding forest, making the lake appear dark and gray.
This morning, she had slept in. In all the excitement from speaking with Jenna last night about Milena and anxiety over being alone, she had completely forgotten to set her alarm.
Chowing down a quick breakfast of cereal and some orange juice, she then grabbed her flight bag and rushed outside just in time to see Kaley angling the big white plane toward the dock. The engine roared in JJ’s ears as she rushed down to the dock and hopped onto the pontoon. Kaley had already opened the doorway and JJ quickly ducked beneath the wing and climbed into the plane. The interior smelled faintly of fuel and oil. It was becoming a familiar scent. A part of her routine. A part of her life.
JJ yanked the door closed and locked it. After tossing her flight bag onto a seat, she hurried to the cockpit where Kaley had already retreated and moved into the co-pilot seat.
Her flight instructor beamed happily at her as JJ entered the cockpit.
“What?” JJ asked.
She could not understand why Kaley appeared so happy. The woman rarely cracked a grin and was usually stern.
“You, is what. This is the first time I did not have to coax you into the plane. I saw you running down the trail and thought maybe you would be too preoccupied with getting here and thinking about other things and so I hoped you would simply hop onto the plane without a second thought and you did.”
JJ bit her bottom lip as a jolt of nervousness rippled through her. She tensed up as she dropped into her seat.
Shit. Kaley is right.
She had spent the morning rushing around and hadn’t given her anticipatory anxiety or her worry about having up a panic attack much thought. Until now.
“Now that you’re here. Let’s get moving. Daylight is burning. Give me a rundown of how you plan to get us up in the air.”
JJ blinked. Up in the air?
“You are way overdue and you are more than ready. No more excuses. Tell me how you plan on getting us into the air.”
Anxiety threatened to creep in but JJ managed to chase some of the nervousness away. But just barely.
For the next few minutes, she gave Kaley a verbal checklist of the instructions she had learned. Although she had passed the theoretical tests with flying colors and done almost perfectly on the online simulator tests her flight instructor had told her to take, she still had not mastered much confidence of even getting a plane into the air, except in her dreams.
“Perfect. Now, start the engine and let’s get this baby skybound.”
JJ’s heart quickened its pace as she gazed out the side window. The brisk breeze had pushed the plane away from the dock and they were now about half a mile from the ranch. Winds buffeted the metal sides of the plane and foot-high waves crashed into the pontoons.
Anxiety gripped JJ.
Water surrounded her. She was trapped.
She rolled her tight shoulders and blew out a tense breath.
No escape. No stepping onto solid ground. No use in panicking. Freaking out would just make her feel uneasy and screw her plans of getting her head wrapped around this project. She wanted so badly to surprise the guys with her secret.
Despite trying to talk herself into being calm, the familiar inner nervousness began to spread its ugly wings. She rolled her stiff shoulders again and focused on the gauges. Everything appeared normal.
Kaley must have picked up on her nervousness, because she suddenly reached out and placed her hand on JJ’s wrist.
“Just remember, sweetie, baby steps. No task is unachievable as long as you stick to baby steps. You fall and you get right back up. Right?” Kaley’s question came in a firm voice that suddenly anchored JJ.
Her flight instructor was back to business mode and for a brief second, JJ felt disoriented.
The windows seemed to waver and close in on her.
Relax. I can do this. I have come so far. Man
, she really had!
JJ took several slow, deep breaths and began to feel better. She’d been practicing on steadying her breathing over the past weeks. Working on it a lot. She had been training her body and her brain on how to react when she hit the panic wall, and she was hitting it now.
JJ trembled.
Early-morning sunshine glared across the windshield, catching her attention. She smiled at the rosy glow. Suddenly she didn’t feel so alone and off-balance. She had Kaley to guide her and she had the sun’s friendship.
She rotated her shoulders again, finally feeling them loosen. Then she got the engine started. It roared in her ears, drowning the rapid pound of her heartbeat.
Concentrate.
JJ checked everything that needed checking. Everything looked good. She logged their departure time in the logbook and then tucked it away in the hanger beneath the seat.
She liked Kaley’s plane. It was older and much bigger than the other float planes that dropped off supplies to the ranch. It kind of felt like a second home now. Yeah, right.
Quit stalling. Move.
JJ angled the plane toward the closest end of the lake and watched the sun pop up above the dark treeline. Bright sunshine blasted across the white-capped waves. When she reached close to the end of the lake, she turned the plane around.
Confidence soared. She moved the plane forward. This part was all second nature to her. Familiar. Comforting.
She increased the speed. The pontoons slapped noisily against the waters.
“Increase your power. Gently,” Kaley said softly.
JJ’s mouth went dry as the other end of the lake quickly came into sight. Her heart crashed against her chest as she did as Kaley instructed and increased power. The roar of the engines grew louder. She followed what she’d learned in the flight simulator and within seconds the plane felt lighter as it lifted off the waves and moved into the air.
0h, sweet heavens! I am freaking flying!
For a moment, her mind blanked. Now what? She couldn’t think. Couldn’t remember. This was all so overwhelming. She was flying!
Thankfully, Kaley gave her the next instruction and JJ suddenly remembered what to do. She angled the plane higher and moments later they soared over the pine trees that hugged the rocky shoreline of the lake.
Euphoria snapped through JJ as she gazed down. She gasped at the beauty of the green forests, the black waters of the creeks, the winding blue rivers and the patchwork of sparkling meadows.
“What are those black and brown dots?” JJ asked as she pointed to one particular meadow.
“Those are your cattle down there,” Kaley commented.
She wished she could search for the guys but she focused her attention ahead.
Pristine blue skies loomed. She felt weightless. She was free.
She was crazy.
“You did it! Well done!” Kaley cheered. “Keep at this altitude and let’s take a ride.”
For the next hour, JJ followed Kaley’s instructions on where to fly. They flew over massive forested areas dotted with blue lakes. Occasional blasts of wind buffeted the plane, but JJ managed to compensate.
“Want to take the plane down?” Kaley asked as the lake with the ranch finally zoomed into view.
For a moment, JJ wanted to say no. She had never landed the plane before. But then an inner voice urged her to try because before today, she had never flown a plane, either.
Momentary euphoria grabbed hold, making JJ giddy. Then reality crashed in around her. She had a plane to land!
She swallowed and nodded jerkily. Shivers raced through her and her hands tightened around the wheel. Her shoulders tensed. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding the wheel so tightly until her shoulders began to ache. She lined up the plane with the center of the lake and began her descent.
After a couple of instructions from Kaley, JJ exhaled as the pontoons hit the water with a massive splash. She barely heard Kaley cheer as JJ slowly turned the plane toward the dock about a quarter of a mile away.
“Okay, let’s trade places and I will dock us. You look beat,” Kaley said as she stood.
She was more than beat. She was exhausted.
Her legs shook like mad as they exchanged seats. Disbelief rushed over her as she stared out the window and watched the dock and ranch come closer.
Oh dear Lord. She had actually done it. She had flown and landed a freaking plane.
And you thought you couldn’t do it, a cynical voice chided her from deep inside.
Well, it seemed she would not be able to use that excuse anymore. She could do things, despite her uncomfortable anxiety and panic disorder.
Yes, she could.
“I’ve heard about your delicious brownies from Blue and Kelly. These brownies are why I wanted to be your flight instructor,” Kaley commented as JJ set a plate full of brownies on top of the coffee table beside the coffeepot and mugs she’d brought out earlier.
“And here I thought it was because you loved the challenge of getting a panic and anxiety induced woman into the air?” JJ chuckled and then she remembered something.
“Hold on. I have got a little surprise for you,” JJ said.
She rushed back into the kitchen and reached into a high cupboard where she had tucked something away. Way in back, she grabbed a small gift-wrapped package. Her hands shook and she almost dropped it.
Since stepping off the plane, JJ had not been able to stop trembling. It wasn’t from her anxiety, but everything to do with her excitement at actually accomplishing one of her newfound dreams. Learning to fly.
The sense of achievement just about drove her crazy. She wanted to shout her news through the forest. She wanted to tell the guys…
JJ sobered. Until now, she hadn’t told them a thing. She’d gone behind their backs and a sudden burst of guilt nibbled away at her newfound confidence. How would she break the news to the guys? Oh heck, she would think about that later. Right now, she had something for Kaley.
“Kaley, this is for you,” JJ said as she settled down on the couch beside Kaley and handed her the gift which she’d wrapped in a pretty lilac-colored paper with matching bow. Surprise washed over the flight instructor’s face and she set her half-eaten brownie down on her plate. She clutched her hands to her chest and shook her head. Surprise etched her blue eyes.
“JJ, you shouldn’t have. This is so sweet of you.”
“Come on, open it. I hope you like it.”
A rare smile lifted Kaley’s lips and JJ was glad she’d decided on getting her a present.
“When I saw it, I thought of you. I remember you said you came from the East Coast not too far from Boston and you had once mentioned that you used to go sailing with a couple of guys who were brothers.”
A wistful expression whispered across the woman’s face. For a moment, she frowned and JJ had the feeling she might have made a mistake. But when Kaley gingerly removed the bow and carefully ripped open the paper, opened the small black velvet box and pulled out a delicate silver necklace with a cute little sailboat, her mouth dropped open with shock. Tears sparkled in her eyes.
“This is just gorgeous, JJ,” she whispered. “Would you put it on me? I’m great flying the plane, but I am lousy with delicate jewelry.” She held up her two hands and wiggled her scarred fingers.
JJ had noticed the scars lacing Kaley’s fingers and arms, but she had never pried about what had happened to her.
Happiness blew away JJ’s fear of having made a mistake and moments later Kaley was all smiles as she wore the necklace, sipped her coffee and popped a second brownie into her mouth. She made some funny appreciative sounds and as she chewed her eyes widened and she shook her head.
“These are utterly unbelievably delicious,” Kaley said after she swallowed.
Pride made JJ urge Kaley to take another brownie.
“These will go straight to my hips. But well worth it. JJ can I get the recipe sometime?”
“Sure, I’ll email it to you. It’
s actually a recipe that I made up on my own for the guys. It involves beer. But don’t worry you won’t get drunk.”
Kaley laughed. “Beer? No way.”
“It’s true. The guys love them.”
Kaley’s expression went to one of extreme excitement. “I bet they do. You should go into business and sell these.”
“Yeah, and deliver them by plane,” JJ added, not really taking Kaley seriously.
“I could imagine all those hermits and ranchers living in solitude waiting for your baked goods, JJ. It would really make their day. But you need to get your license first.”
Hmm, that was an interesting idea, but she was just a newbie. It took time to learn how to bake professionally and she just had too much to do right here on the ranch.
“Hey let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I’m just starting out flying, and besides, I don’t even have a plane,” JJ said with a chuckle. Kaley was just being silly. Wasn’t she?
“I can keep an eye out for a used one when one comes up for sale. You can grab a loan from one of the banks or secure a personal loan from someone.”
JJ shrugged her shoulders.
When JJ didn’t answer, Kaley’s hand hovered over the mound of brownies.
“I just cannot get enough. May I have another one?”
“Please, eat as many as you like. I’ll make up a doggie bag and you can take them home. They freeze really well.”
“All. I want them all but I couldn’t ask that. I would be too greedy. But a doggie bag would be so sweet of you. I realize you need to feed your cowboys.”
“Seriously, Kaley, you are the one who is sweet. Taking me on, knowing all the challenges I have just getting on a plane.”
“Girlfriend, believe you me. I know challenges.”
Kaley held up her hands.
“Do you see these? They were so burned I was told I probably would never be able to use them and I would be lucky if I didn’t lose all of these.” She wiggled her fingers. “I got lucky.”
“I don’t mean to pry, but how did you burn your hands and arms?”
Kaley shook her head and bit her bottom lip.
