by Bay, Louise
I awoke to my phone ringing. I can’t have been asleep very long. It was Daniel to say that he was all checked in and in the lounge. He asked me again if I would change my mind and come with him, and I assured him I wouldn’t and that I would see him on Thursday, which was really no time at all.
“Where are you, at Anna’s?”
I was embarrassed to admit I still hadn’t left, even though Daniel had really wanted me to stay.
“Err, no I took a little nap and have just woken up.”
Daniel laughed and told me again how he’d like me to stay at his.
“When you unpack at Anna’s, make sure you check the inside pocket of your overnight bag.”
That sounded ominous. “Why?”
“You’ll find out when you look!”
Of course I couldn’t wait. As soon as we said our goodbyes, I scrambled off the bed to investigate. My stomach turned over as my hand found a velvet box where Daniel had left it. All I could think was it was too big to be a ring box.
Opening the box I found the most beautiful bangle made up of three rows of diamonds. It was stunning. Immediately I tried it on. Wow. There was a note tucked in the top of the box. I took a deep breath. How was I going to accept this?
My beautiful Leah,
Please wear this everyday so I can feel as if a part of me is with you always.
I love you.
Daniel
Well, I couldn’t refuse a request like that, could I? I was easily convinced. I slipped the beautiful bangle over my hand and reached for my phone. He would have turned his phone off by now, but I wanted to ensure he received my thank-you as soon as he landed. As I was typing my text Anna called. I promised to be there as soon as I could. We had a nice few days planned, starting with a night out.
Being with Anna kept me busy and my mind off the fact I was going to be without Daniel for four days. I needed to stop doing a constant countdown, otherwise I was going to become one of those awful, needy girls who couldn’t be without their boyfriend for longer than five minutes. In reality, it might actually be too late to avoid that particular metamorphosis, but I needed to at least pretend otherwise in front of Anna.
Anna bought an array of pampering products for us to indulge in, so we sat around for the rest of the afternoon with face packs on, catching up with what we had missed in each other’s lives in the last few weeks.
“So, it seems really serious between you and Daniel.” Anna finally broached the subject she was clearly itching to address since we started talking. It wasn’t like her to beat around the bush.
“It feels serious.” I started fiddling with my bracelet and then caught myself and stopped. “But I know what you’re going to say—it’s very soon after Charlie and it’s all happened so quickly—and I’m really conscious of all that, but I can’t seem to stop, to slow things down.”
“Actually I wasn’t going to say that, I think you probably started getting over Charlie before you split up, and anyway, where’s the manual that tells you how long you are supposed to wait between relationships? But do you want to slow things down?”
“Honestly, I don’t know if I want to or whether I feel I should. I feel OK, I feel like I’m over what I went through with Charlie, but I keep waiting for something to happen to prove me wrong.”
“I get that, and I have a cure.” Anna stood up and started giggling. “Wine and a night out!”
I joined Anna in her giggles and nodded as she held up the bottle, half-waiting for me to tell her we shouldn’t start drinking this early.
We were having such a nice time catching up in the comfort of our dressing gowns that we almost didn’t make it out of the flat. But about nine we did finally pile into a cab and head out for more drinks. Anna gave the cab directions to the club where one of her work colleagues was having their birthday drinks and my phone rang. It was Daniel.
“Hey, have you landed?”
“Yes, just in the car on the way to the hotel. Where are you?”
“Just heading to a party with Anna.”
“Well, you are clearly taking advantage of me being out of the country.” He sounded pissed off. I didn’t know what to say. “Where are you going?”
“Somewhere in Shoreditch. I’m not quite sure where.” Now I was pissed off at having to explain myself.
“OK, Leah, I have to go. Speak later.” And he hung up. Just like that. I was stunned. A feeling of nausea washed over me and the buzz from the wine completely disappeared. Bloody hell, he had no right to be pissed off at me going out when he wasn’t even in the country. What was his problem? Anna was busy chatting to the cab driver so hadn’t witnessed the exchange. I plastered a smile on my face determined to enjoy myself.
The party was absolutely packed when we arrived. It really wasn’t my scene—too studenty for me—and it didn’t help that I felt stone-cold sober after the call with Daniel. After being introduced to 110 people, none of whose names I remembered, I found a place to sit and collapsed. My heels were killing me. I wondered how long I’d have to stick it out before I could tell Anna I was leaving. I watched her talking to a guy across the room. Anna didn’t really have a type, but I wouldn’t have expected her to give a second look to the guy she was talking to. He looked a bit older than a lot of the other partygoers and seemed almost like a biker. He certainly had tattoos on his arms and biker boots. He was stocky and a bit scary, but he was laughing at whatever Anna was saying, and she had her hand on his upper arm as she leaned in to him.
I felt myself rock toward the center of the couch as someone sat beside me. I almost tipped my drink on myself.
“Sorry, did you spill anything?” the twenty-something who was sitting a little bit too close for comfort asked as he steadied my arm.
“No, I’m good, thanks.” I forced a smile at him and prayed he didn’t want to talk to me.
“I’m Andrew. What are you drinking? I can get you a top-up.” Oh god, he was going to try and talk to me.
“Honestly, I’m fine, thank you though.” I tried to shift away from him without appearing rude. His leg was right up against mine and as he spoke to me he rubbed his leg up and down mine. I wasn’t sure if he was being deliberate.
“So who do you know here?” he asked.
At that moment someone tapped me on the shoulder. “Miss Thompson, I have a call for you.” A very out-of-place burly guy handed me a phone.
“What the fuck are you doing, Leah? I told you that no one was allowed to touch you.” As the voice bellowed into my ear, the realization rained down on me. It was Daniel on the phone.
I didn’t answer but got up from the sofa, with the intention of finding a quiet corner of the party to tell Daniel I thought he was a complete lunatic. How the hell did he find me here? Who gave me the phone? What was going on? Was he having me followed? The room went dizzy as my anger overtook me. Eventually I found myself outside.
“Leah! Answer me?” Daniel was shouting down the phone.
“I do not owe you an explanation. You do not own me. You are crazy. Leave me alone.” I hung up. The burly man who handed me the phone was beside me. Had he followed me in to the party?
“Can I drive you home Miss Thompson?”
“Who are you?” I spat.
“I’m part of Mr. Armitage’s security team. He was just concerned about you, that’s all. He asked me to keep an eye on you.”
“He asked you to spy on me, you mean.”
“It’s not like that. He’s just protective.” I did want to leave the party and turning down a lift was cutting my nose off to spite my face.
“I need to tell Anna I’m leaving and see if she wants to come. I’ll be back down in a minute.” I didn’t want to spend another moment at the party. Not leaving just because Daniel’s driver was offering me a lift home seemed ridiculous.
“I’ll be here, Miss.”
Anna and Biker Man were pressed up against each other when I got to them and whispering in each other’s ear. There was definitely
heat there. After making Anna promise not to get a minicab home, I went back outside to pick up my ride.
***
The movement of the car combined with far too much wine made me very sleepy and I lay my head back and felt myself drift off. Not fully asleep I heard the driver on the phone. He was clearly telling Daniel he was taking me home.
When I got in I got ready for bed straight away. I wondered whether I should try and speak to Daniel before going to bed. I shouldn’t have hung up on him. But he shouldn’t have me followed! Probably best to wait for the wine to wear off. He knew I was safe.
The next morning I woke just after 8. I’d forgotten to set my alarm. What a brilliant start to the week. That’s what happens when you go out on a Sunday night I guess. It served me right. I grabbed my phone to see if Daniel had texted or called last night. Nothing. New York was five hours behind so he would be fast asleep for a while yet.
Anna wasn’t home when I went to check to see if she was up. There was no way of telling whether she had been home and gone to work or never been home. I sent her a quick text
Are you OK? Please let me know. L
I got ready in a record 35 minutes, which meant I shouldn’t be more than ten minutes late for work. Donning dark glasses, I made it out into the bright sunlight to find Daniel’s regular driver waiting for me.
“Hi, Phil.”
“Good morning, Miss Thompson. Are we going to your office?” There was no fighting this.
“I guess we are. Thanks.”
As I settled myself in the back of Daniel’s car I grabbed my phone to text Daniel. A reply from Anna was waiting for me to say she had been back to the flat last night and was at work. I started my text to New York.
I’m sorry I hung up on you. We need to talk. Lx
My phone rang precisely three seconds after I pressed send on the text.
“Hey, stranger,” I answered.
“Hey stranger, yourself.” It was lovely to hear his familiar voice. “I know I was completely over the top.” He sounded awful.
“I’m not going anywhere. But we should talk about this. Not now, I need to get to work and it’s silly o’clock where you are. You should go back to sleep.”
“I don’t sleep much when I’m here. I’m fine. Should I come back? I need to know we are OK.”
“No, Daniel, please. We are fine, but we are working each other out and there are bound to be bumps in the road. Let’s just take a breath and talk tonight.”
“I’ll call you before my evening engagement. Are you in tonight?”
“Yes, you can call your security team off. I’m having a quiet night in. Sounds like you have something more interesting planned.”
“I just have a reception—a charity thing. I wish you were here to come with me.”
“I wish you were here. But I’ll see you Thursday. It’s only a few days.”
Last night’s drama put things in perspective. I might miss Daniel, but his going away was a good thing. It was allowing me to get some perspective. We really had a long way to go in our relationship. The fact that a short separation was causing so much anxiety on both sides brought me up sharp, and made me realize that what we shared was so intense that we needed some normality if things were going to last and not burn out. And I wanted this to last; I didn’t want this to be a rebound thing.
I came back from getting some lunch to find a huge bouquet of white roses on my desk. They were beautiful but unnecessary. The card simply read:
I’m sorry. Daniel x
When we spoke that evening things were a bit tense. I’d spent all day at his office and it felt like the place was stuffed to the gills with beautiful women. I found myself feeling intensely jealous and wondering whether or not Daniel flirted with them and whether they fantasized about being with him. They must do, they weren’t barren of all senses.
Of course I was completely hypocritical criticizing Daniel for his overbearing behavior last night when if I had the resources I would happily pay to have someone ensure he wasn’t flirting with anyone while I wasn’t around. My mind knew it was a crazy way to think but I couldn’t bear the thought of another woman even looking at him. By the time I spoke to him that evening, I was angry at him for what he might do. The poor guy didn’t have a chance.
Daniel opened our discussion by repeating his apology of earlier in the day. I cut him off mid-sentence.
“You don’t need to apologize anymore. I get it.” I gave him a watered-down version of my jealous imaginings of the day. I heard him chuckle into the phone at various points.
“You know there’s no one I’m flirting with, don’t you, Leah?”
“A part of me does and another part of me thinks, ‘well, I thought that of Charlie.’ I’m not saying it’s rational. It’s just how I feel.”
“Well, I certainly can’t claim my behavior is rational when it comes to you.” No, having me followed wasn’t rational, that was for sure.
“I’m not a cheater, Daniel. You can’t have me followed 24 hours a day to ensure I don’t speak to any other men. It will make me feel like a prisoner.”
“I don’t think you would cheat. It’s the men I don’t trust. And I suppose if I’m honest I don’t want you to have room to experience anyone else or to doubt us.”
I exhaled. He was right—it wasn’t rational, but I got it. We were both hanging on so tight as if any moment the bubble could burst and these intense feelings that had appeared so quickly could float away into the ether. So what was the solution? Would more time with each other make things better or worse?
“I’ll be back on Thursday, and we can get back to normal. But will you please use the driver when you want to go out?”
***
Things settled down; Tuesday and Wednesday were relatively uneventful. Daniel and I spoke at least three times a day. It was nice to know that we had so much to talk about when there was no possibility of any sex. It really comforted me to know that, while he couldn’t physically touch me, he still wanted to speak to me, to know me. And I felt exactly the same. As much as I knew it was more than sex, a part of me was always looking for the darkest possible reason for Daniel’s interest in me and my feelings for Daniel.
Daniel seemed pretty stressed about the things going on in the New York office. Apparently his Managing Director there was taking meetings with private equity houses to try and launch a management buyout. Daniel was going to have to fire him and dampen down reports that the business was in difficulty and would potentially be up for sale. It put my week in the office in perspective.
Daniel decided to promote the Operations Manager to the role of MD. She was a woman and Daniel told me in advance of me seeing any press coverage so I wouldn’t overreact and think he was sleeping with her. I felt a bit stupid when he told me that. He wouldn’t be the success he was if he was fucking half his staff!
I spent the rest of the afternoon googling his name. I hadn’t done any internet stalking since we were first back in touch. I suppose I’d been looking for different things then.
There were numerous photos of him and his wife. Ex-wife. She was beautiful and very natural-looking. In my head I had pictured some kind of plastic, Beverly Hills wife who had too much plastic surgery and did nothing but shop and lunch. She looked about as far away from that as was possible. Glossy brown hair and kind, smiling eyes. She was a teacher, apparently.
Then there were pictures of the hotels and news coverage about the possible management buyout and how Daniel had found out and fired the MD. There were pictures of what looked like him arriving in New York a few days ago. I didn’t realize he dealt with this level of press attention. He was dealing with so much and I was just been adding to his stress.
When I spoke to him on Wednesday afternoon between meetings, he asked me to stay at his house that evening so he could see me before I went to work. He was landing at 6:30 a.m. I was desperate to see him.
I arrived at his house after going back to Anna’s and packed a week
end bag. I brought enough things for a couple of days. Letting myself in to the house felt strange, I felt like I shouldn’t be there without Daniel. There was a note on the kitchen counter from Mrs. Bayliss telling me she had left me some dinner in the fridge. Daniel must have told her I was coming.
I carried my bag upstairs and unpacked. Normally I would just keep everything in my suitcase and dig things out as I needed them, but I wanted to feel more comfortable here and I knew it would make Daniel happy. I had even brought a few bits I could leave when I went back to Anna’s if I felt like it. I was just finishing emptying my washbag when my phone rang.
“Where are you?” Daniel seemed anxious.
“In your bathroom, unpacking my toothbrush. Why?”
“That’s the best news I’ve had all day. What are you wearing?”
“Daniel!” I admonished.
“Tell me, I need distraction.” There was no arguing with him and my answer wasn’t going to be titillating.
“I’m just about to change. I’m still in my work clothes.”
“Put me on loudspeaker and describe what you are taking off as you do it.”
I suddenly felt selfconscious. And turned on.
“Every detail, Leah.”
“I’m unbuttoning my blouse.”
“Which button did you start with? The top button?” He wanted serious detail.
“Yes, the top button. I’m taking my blouse off.”
“What bra do you have on today, describe it to me?”
“It’s black, lace, half-cup.”
“How does it feel? Can you feel your nipples through it?” I froze. Could I do this? I brought my hands to my breasts, feeling my already beaded nipples straining at the lace.
“Yes. I can feel them,” I said weakly
Daniel groaned at my reply. “I want to be there covering them with my tongue.”
“Now I’m unzipping my skirt. My panties match my bra, and that’s all that’s left.”
“Lie on the bed.” His voice was more urgent. I could feel my sex pulse. I didn’t know if it was the control he had over me when he was in this mood or my anticipation that was making me come to life. I lay back awaiting further instruction, my hands wandering over my breasts and stomach.
