by Nikki Paris
Of Course,
Cutie
Nikki Paris
Copyright © 2021 Nikki Paris
All rights reserved.
For the old souls
1
Charlie
October was the worst month of the year. Halloween was a bullshit, stupid holiday. Pumpkin spice tasted like hot garbage, and no, the vibrant hues on the trees weren’t beautiful. Red, orange, and yellow were garish, hideous colors.
I hated watching those ugly leaves cling to the branches for dear life, but I hated it more when they fluttered to the ground, losing their battle. They represented death, even a year later. They always would.
“Charlotte Cox!” Matteo called across the courtyard of our quaint little city college. It wasn’t a friendly greeting. His hands were on his hips, and his lips were pursed. My fabulous best friend was pissed, and I knew exactly why.
I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, “What’s up, Mattie-boy? Love the scarf!”
The corner of his mouth twitched, and he rolled his eyes. Matteo loved compliments. I could worm my way out of this fight. “I know what you’re doing, Charlotte.” He marched his skinny little ass over to me and sat next to me on the bench, shoving his hands in the pockets of his pea coat.
Matteo was the only person in the world allowed to call me Charlotte, and I was the only person who called him Mattie. We each hated the names, which was a fun little part of our friendship.
“What am I doing, Mattie?” I blinked innocently.
“Put your big blue puppy-dog eyes away! I am furious with you!”
I groaned and covered my face with two gloved hands.
“You love me, don’t you? Don’t you, Charlotte?”
“You know I do.” I’d RSVP’d no to Matteo’s extravagant Halloween party. There were over two-hundred people on the list. I honestly didn’t think he would notice. My bad.
Matteo raised both of his perfectly manicured black eyebrows. “You do what? Say it.”
“I love you.” I rolled my eyes and stared up at the gray afternoon sky.
“Fuck yeah, you do. So why aren’t you coming to my party?”
I turned to glare at him. “Because I hate Halloween! And you have so many stupid people at your parties! And… you know.” We first met at Matteo’s Halloween party last year. He found me high as a kite and mid-emotional breakdown in his backyard.
“Charlotte, come here, beautiful.” Matteo tucked me under his arm and gave me a big sloppy kiss on my cheek. “I know you hate this month. That’s why I have a relaxing day planned just for us next weekend. I bought every season of Parks and Rec, Modern Family, and The Good Place. I found fuzzy blankets and facial masks with actual gold flakes in them, and I’m going to make those little lemon cupcakes that you love!”
I laughed and slumped against him. “You’re the best, Mattie-boy.”
Matteo rolled his amber eyes. “Obviously. So you’re coming to my Halloween party because I need you there, and you need to meet more people!”
“I don’t like people. You know this.”
“But you’re lonely, and you need to get laid.”
“Shut up. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin.”
Matteo snorted. “Okay, sweetie. Being a teenage virgin is fine, I guess, but you’re turning twenty in a couple of months. You can’t be a twenty-something virgin. That’s embarrassing.” He teased and gave my shoulder a playful shove.
“Don’t even, Mattie.” I shot him a glare. “The second I meet a guy that interests me, he can have my V-card. Until that time comes, shut your fucking face about it.”
Matteo threw his head back and laughed. “All right, all right. I’ll keep an eye out for a guy that might hold your attention.”
“Great.”
“Okay, let’s get back on topic. I need you at my Halloween party.” Matteo chewed on his bottom lip and glanced sideways at me. “I invited Jonah!”
“Oooooh!” I sat up and laughed. Matteo had been crushing on Jonah for months. “Mattie, you’re hot as fuck. You don’t need me!”
“No, I do. I do need you! I’m so nervous that I’m going to piss myself just thinking about his gorgeous sea-green eyes!” Matteo stood and started pacing in front of the bench. “I need you to be my wingman and pick up the pieces of my broken heart if it doesn’t go well!”
I groaned again and made eye contact with my best friend. Matteo had repeatedly picked up all of my broken pieces over the last year. I owed it to him to be available to return the favor if he needed it. I let out a long deep breath and admitted defeat. “I’ll be there, boo.”
“Yay!” Matteo bounced on the balls of his feet. “Okay, I have to get to work. Love you!”
“Love you!” I called after his retreating back. Damn-it. I didn’t want to go to his Halloween party. I still had PTSD from the last one. It was my own damn fault for showing up at a party three weeks after my dad’s funeral and consuming 50 mg of cannabis for the first time. Some dude named Isaiah told me it would help.
Boy, was he fucking wrong.
Matteo found me sobbing and puking into his bushes and took pity on me. We liked to laugh about that night now, but at the time, it was terrifying. I was so high that the entire yard was spinning, and I kept forgetting to breathe. And instead of dulling my grief, the cannabis amplified it.
So Matteo found me at my absolute worst and pulled me into his arms, and a life-long bond was forged. I’d do anything for that fabulous little man-boy.
I sighed and stood, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. I had one more class today, but I was not in the mood. Instead of showing up for U.S. History, I headed to the parking lot and then drove to my favorite place.
The name of my brother’s bar, ’69, made me snort as I pulled up and parked. I’d laugh at the name every damn time because I would always remember the color of Evan’s face as he adamantly insisted to our mother that it had nothing to do with sex. “Mom! It’s the year of my Camaro! I swear!”
Suuuure, Evan. Like we all don’t know that you’ve been a sex-crazed idiot ever since Sienna came back into your life.
I pushed open the door, and Evan’s gorgeous fiancé greeted me with a smile. “Charlie!” Sienna crossed the empty bar and pulled me in for a hug. “How was school today?”
“Oh, ya know, a fabulous waste of time, like usual. Can I hang here for a bit?”
Sienna nodded and pulled her cinnamon-brown hair into a ponytail. “Yep. We’re just setting up, and Evan’s showing the new bartender the ropes. You can stay until we open.”
“New bartender?” I asked, following Sienna back to the bar where she was folding black cloth napkins into perfect triangles. “What happened to Marla?”
“She’s starting nursing school and needed to cut back her hours.”
“Ah.” I sank onto the barstool beside Sienna and started wiping down the stack of laminated menus to my left. I hung out at ’69 a lot. It was much better than being at home. I stayed close by for college because I couldn’t leave my mom so soon after my dad’s passing. But then my older sister, Bea, and her daughter moved back in after her divorce. Things were chaotic at home, so chaotic that the bar was almost calm in comparison.
“How are you doing, Charlie?” Sienna’s soft, soothing voice brought me back into the moment.
“Fine.” I refused to look at her. If I looked at her, I would cry. The anniversary of my father’s death was in two days.
Sienna nodded and reached over to squeeze my hand. “Evan’s not fine either.” I watched her fold another napkin, furiously blinking my eyes to keep the tears back. She spoke again, “We’re going to do a classic rock night for him tomorrow. We’ll tell Mason to look the other way and let you
in without carding you if you want to come.”
I cleared my throat to make sure my voice didn’t crack. “Thanks. That sounds nice.” I let my gaze travel down the bar to where my brother stood, talking with a man. He had his back to me, but he looked tall and muscular, and his arms were covered in tattoos. His longish dark hair was pulled back and secured with an elastic, and he had an incredible ass. Not a bad fucking view from behind. “That’s the new bartender?” I asked, nodding toward the guy.
“Yep. Burke Reid. He just moved to Washington from the east coast to be closer to his kid. Nice guy.”
Right then, Burke turned, and I got a good look at his face. He had a thick brown beard and striking green eyes. Matteo could go on and on about Jonah’s pretty green eyes, but damn. Jonah had nothing on this Burke dude.
Sienna cleared her throat. “You’re staring, Charlie. I know your mother taught you better than that.”
I rolled my eyes and turned back to the menus. “I’m not staring.”
Sienna laughed. “Oh, honey, you were staring. I didn’t know you were into that badass biker gang look.”
“Beats a pretty boy any day.”
Sienna burst out laughing. “You don’t like pretty boys?”
I raised both eyebrows at her. “What about me has ever given you the impression that I like pretty boys?”
“Absolutely nothing.”
“You like pretty boys, though.” I smirked at her and then glanced over at my brother. His light brown hair was perfectly tousled, and he never let his “beard” get past well-groomed stubble.
Sienna sighed and rested her chin in her hands, grinning at Evan. “Mmm… your brother is so damn pretty.”
I made a gagging sound which caused my brother to glance over at me. “Charlie!” He grinned and walked toward Sienna and me. “Too many tears at mom’s house?”
“Always. Bea’s spawn is teething.” I loved my darling niece, and I called her spawn with only the utmost adoration in my heart.
Evan laughed and called the new bartender over. “Burke, come meet my kid sister, Charlie. She’ll probably be here a lot, and under no circumstances may you serve her.”
I tried not to freeze when Burke’s green eyes skated over my face. I begged myself to keep breathing when he smiled and rumbled out a deep, “Hey. Nice to meet you.”
I cleared my throat. “Hey.” That was all I could work up. Wow. Nice.
Burke smiled. “Not very chatty?”
Evan laughed. “Once you get to know her, she gets bossy and loud.” He reached across the bar to mess up my hair.
I smacked his hand away. “Fuck off, Evan. And don’t call me your kid sister. I’m in college.” I glanced over at Burke. “I’m not a kid.”
Burke’s smile turned into a grin. How old was he? Maybe late-twenties? Mid-thirties? And what kid? Didn’t Sienna say something about a kid? Was he married? Single?
Evan messed up my hair again. “Aw, isn’t she a cutie?” He laughed and then patted Burke’s shoulder. “Hey, man, I have an order coming in that I need to go make room for in the back. Feel free to familiarize yourself with our stock and drink menu. I’ll be back out in like twenty minutes.”
“I’ll help, babe.” Sienna hopped off her barstool and followed Evan into the back room, leaving me alone with Burke—sexy, manly Burke. Good god, I was having a reaction to this man. Suddenly I knew why I’d never had a serious relationship before. I’d been hanging out with boys all my life. Boys didn’t hold my interest. Men, on the other hand…
“What did you say your name was, cutie?” Burke asked, leaning a hip against the bar between us.
Was he teasing me by calling me cutie? I was going to murder Evan. “Charlie.” I picked up another menu and wiped it down with the rag. I was crushing it with those one-word answers.
“Like Charlie Brown?”
I rolled my eyes and glanced up at Burke. He was smiling again. “Like Charlotte Brontë. My mom was really into Victorian Era everything. My older sister’s name is Beatrice. I’m not sure how Evan escaped with a normal name. He should probably be called Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightley or something.”
Burke burst out laughing. It was a rich, deep sound, and I felt it in my chest. “We can call him Darcy. It’ll be our little secret.” He rubbed his beard. “He seems like more of a Mr. Bingley to me, though.”
Now it was my turn to burst out laughing. “That’s so freaking true. But you do not look like a Jane Austen fan. I am shocked, sir.”
“Not a fan, miss. I was subjected to hours of torture by my ex-wife.”
Ex-wife. Noted. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Which part are you sorry about?”
“The hours of torture, obviously.”
I was graced with Burke’s deep laugh again. “You’re funny, cutie.” He glanced around the bar. “I forgot to ask your brother where the drink mixers are. I didn’t see them when he was giving me the grand tour.” Burke turned and headed to the backroom door.
“Don’t,” I warned.
Burke dropped his hand and backed away from the door. “They’re fucking back there, aren’t they?”
Damn. Hearing his deep voice say, “fucking” sent sexually charged chills down my back. I cleared my throat. “I’d bet money on it.”
Burke laughed again and rubbed his beard. “What did I get myself into, Charlie?”
I grinned. “A huge mess, Burke.”
2
Burke
I rushed around my apartment, making sure that everything was perfect for Lexi and Tess’s visit. My ex-wife could go to hell, but I couldn’t wait to see my beautiful daughter. Unfortunately, Lexi insisted on accompanying Tess for her first visit. She needed to “make sure my apartment was suitable for children” before she upheld our agreement of letting Tess stay with me every other weekend.
It was all bullshit, Lexi acting like I couldn’t be trusted when she was the one that cheated. Thinking about the way things ended left a bitter taste in my mouth. I could still hear Lexi’s tear-filled voice over the phone. “Burke, I’ve been… seeing someone.”
If she weren’t the mother of my beautiful baby girl, I would have told her to burn in hell. But instead, I quit my job on the Alaskan oil rig — the one that she insisted I take because the pay was so good— and came home to try to make things work.
Things didn’t work. They got real ugly between Lexi and me, but I fought like hell to keep the ugliness hidden from Tess. I couldn’t hide it all, and my sweet little girl’s tear-filled eyes were burned into my memory. I could still see her standing on the porch when I moved out, still hear her crying, “Daddy! Don’t go!”
It broke my damn heart.
Then Lexi met someone new. The asshole got a fancy management job near Seattle, and Lexi took my little girl and chased after him.
I had no choice but to follow her.
My doorbell rang, and I headed down the hall to answer it.
“Daddy!” Tess’s brown eyes sparkled, and she flung her arms around my legs. This was always the best part of coming home from the oil rig in the off-season— my Tess.
“Hi, sweetheart.” I sank to my knees and wrapped my arms around her tiny six-year-old body. I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too! You wanna see what I made at school today?” Tess grinned.
“Ye—“
“No, honey. Your backpack is in the car, and we’re only staying for a minute.” I almost forgot Lexi was standing there, too. She smoothed her expensive sweater with her freshly manicured hands and reminded me how much she liked to spend all my money. “Are you going to invite me in, Burke?” Her tone carried a bite.
“Of course. Please come in, Lex.” I stepped back, keeping Tess’s hand in mine.
Lexi stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind her. I took note of her freshly bleached hair and expensive bag and shoes, too. Did she buy these when we were still together, or was she spending her n
ew boyfriend’s money?
My ex-wife folded her arms. “Show me where she’ll be staying.”
“Right this way.” I headed down the hall and held open the first door on the right. “Go check out your room, Tess. We can make it more fun for you, but I got you a bed and a dresser, and I made you a toy chest.”
Tess grinned and dove onto the bed. “I get two beds! That’s cool, daddy!”
Lexi pursed her lips and glanced around the room. “It looks fine.” She sniffed and poked her head in the bathroom across the hall. “Clean.” Lexi sent a cool glance my way. “And you got a job here already?”
I fought to keep my eyes from rolling back in my head. “I did. I already worked out my schedule so that I’ll be free every other weekend like we talked about.”
“Great. Tess, baby girl, it’s time to go!”
Tess was wandering around her new room, checking out her closet and dresser. She was just about to open the toy chest I built for her, and her eyes filled with disappointment. “Mommy, can’t I have like five more minutes?”
“No, baby girl. We have some errands to run before dinner, and I’m sure your father is busy.” Lexi held out her hand. “Let’s go, Tess.”
I groaned inwardly. Lexi didn’t have to make me sound like an asshole that was too busy to spend time with my daughter. I sank to my knees and held out my arms to Tess. “Hey sweetheart, I’m glad you like your room. I can’t wait for you to come and stay with me.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Listen to your mom, okay? I’ll see you soon.”
Tess pouted but followed Lexi to the front door. After I waved goodbye to Tess, I closed the door behind them and leaned against it. I never in a million years pictured my life turning out this way, but there was no point dwelling on regrets. Things could always be worse. Bartending to be closer to my sweet little girl was better than working on a dangerous, frigid boat half the year and missing her like crazy. I could handle this. I glanced at my watch and noted that I had to be at work in thirty minutes, so I took a quick shower and then headed to the bar.
