by Nikki Paris
I didn’t need much of anything, but sometimes, a certain someone had me wanting things — things I shouldn’t want. She was just so damn cute and smart.
I found Charlie sitting on the steps behind ’69 when I took my breaks on most weeknights. She told me her house made her sad this time of year because it reminded her so painfully that her dad wasn’t there anymore. So Charlie went other places. Her best friend worked at a coffee shop most evenings, and Evan didn’t let her hang out inside the bar unless it was a special occasion or an emergency, so she picked the steps behind the bar.
It almost seemed like she sat there and waited for me, but that was wishful thinking.
Tonight, she was wrapped in a plaid blanket and wearing her purple beanie. She had her headphones on and her notebook in her lap.
I sat beside her, and she met me with her pretty smile. Charlie slid her headphones off and scooted a little closer. Or maybe she didn’t. Maybe I imagined it. “How many napkins with MILF phone numbers have you collected tonight?”
I laughed and shook my head. Three different women had flirted and left me their phone numbers tonight. I pulled a receipt and two napkins from my jacket pocket and handed them to Charlie. She held them in her hand and raised both eyebrows. “Seriously? Fuck. I was kidding!” She tucked them into her notebook and shook her head. “Fucking desperate, Burke. You can do better.”
“Can I get those back, cutie?” I grinned at Charlie and nodded toward her notebook.
“No.”
I rubbed my beard and laughed. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”
“I don’t get jealous. Jealousy is for children. I just think you need to set your sights a little higher.” She turned back to her notebook and scribbled a few lines.
Her reference to our text exchange on Halloween did not escape my notice. It was fucked up how much I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss that pretty little mouth. “What are you writing in there?”
Charlie looked over at me, considered me for a moment, and then passed her notebook to me.
I raised both eyebrows. “You sure?”
She nodded. “It’s light stuff tonight. If you flipped back like twenty pages, you’d send me to therapy.”
“I doubt that, cutie. I’m sure even your darkest thoughts wouldn’t scare me.” I looked down at the notebook on my lap. The phone numbers were sticking out of the back. I could have easily retrieved them, but I didn’t want them. I’d never been a fan of thoughtless hook-ups, and that was all that awaited me. Instead, I read the first line of wisdom on the page:
I wonder how incredible we would all be if we weren’t weighed down by worry and fear.
Yep. I knew there was a deep and beautiful mind in there. I glanced over at Charlie as she played with the fringe on her blanket. “What worries are weighing you down, Charlie?”
“The usual. I worry too much about what other people think, even if I don’t like them. And I worry about losing more people that I love because I don’t know if I’m strong enough to survive it again.” Charlie tipped her head up to look at the crescent moon. “What’s weighing you down, Burke?”
“Everything but Tess.”
Charlie rested her hand on my arm and gazed into my eyes. “You should let some of it go or find someone to help you carry the load.”
I liked the feel of her hands on me. “It’s not that heavy.” I smiled at cute little Charlie, at the sweet earnestness in her words, like she gave a damn about me.
“Even small things can be heavy if you try to lift them alone.” Her hand was still on my arm. “Do you have any family or friends close by?”
I shook my head. “I had a few friends in Alaska, and I have family all over the country, but I’m not close with any of them.”
Charlie nodded and slid her hand from my arm, resting it back in her lap. Disappointment settled in my chest, and I tried to ignore it. This was too strong of a reaction to have over a simple touch.
“Why aren’t you close with your family?”
I shrugged. I was the typical product of a broken home, with a father who drank too much and a mother without any self-respect. The story was so cliché that I hardly liked to admit that it was mine. “My folks split up when I was about fifteen. I have three older brothers that were already off living their lives when it happened, and we all drifted apart. None of us cared enough to put the pieces back together.”
“Do you miss them?” Charlie’s eyes searched my face.
I grinned at her. “I’m all right, cutie. Don’t you worry about me.” And I was. I was used to being on my own, and I didn’t miss my family or being married. Part of me liked being alone and keeping people at arms-length. Tess was the only one worth keeping close anyway.
I turned my attention back to Charlie’s notebook. A few lines down, I found the words she’d just written:
If you wait until you’re ready for something, you’re already too late.
I pointed to the words. “What do you mean by this?”
Charlie tilted her head and gazed into my eyes. “No one is ever ready for any of the shit life throws at them. If you feel solidly ready for something, you’ve waited too long.” She shrugged and turned her face back up to the night sky. “I guess part of the thrill of living is not being ready.”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sent a quick text. Charlie frowned when her phone buzzed and pulled it out to view the mind-blown emoji I’d just sent her. She threw her head back and laughed, then leaned into me. I almost slid my arm around her shoulders, but she moved away before I was ready.
Shit. She was right. If you waited until you were ready, you were too late.
But it was for the best. What was I going to do? Date my new boss’s nineteen-year-old sister? I cleared my throat and handed Charlie her notebook. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
“You’re welcome, Burke. I live to blow your mind.”
I laughed and shook my head.
Charlie laughed, too. “I like your laugh.”
“Likewise, Charlie.”
She parted her soft pink lips and slowly took the bottom one between her teeth. Charlie leaned in a little closer and filled my senses with her minty coconut smell. Fuck. I wanted to taste those lips. I spread my legs to ease the discomfort of my stiffening cock in my jeans, but that caused my leg to press against Charlie’s. She pushed back and stared into my eyes.
I let out a slow, deep breath and stood before I lost my mind and kissed the shit out of cute little Charlie Cox. “I gotta get back to work, but I always enjoy our chats, cutie.”
“Me too.”
I needed to cool it with Charlie before I screwed up big time. She was too young and beautiful for me.
9
Charlie
On a Thursday afternoon in late-November, I pulled open the bar door and braced myself for Burke’s piercing green eyes to land on me. Even though I knew it was coming, his gaze still rattled me. No. Rattled was too gentle of a word to describe what happened when Burke looked at me. His gaze shook me to the damn core.
I hung out at the bar almost every day now. I had Burke’s schedule memorized and lived for the moment I walked through the door of ’69 and caught his eye. He always had his hair pulled back in a sexy man bun. It looked so fucking good like that, but I liked it when his hair was down, too. It wasn’t too long, and it looked perfect for tugging and hand-burying in moments of passion.
“Hey, cutie!” He called over to me with a smirk.
Fuck! Behave, body! “Hey, Burke. How’s it going?” I walked over to the bar and dropped my backpack on a stool.
“Can’t complain. Did you go to U.S. History today? You’re here later than usual.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I had a test today. I spelled out Go USA with the bubbles on the answer sheet. It was awesome.”
Burke let out his deep laugh and shook his head. “We should get some Pink Floyd playing for you.”
“We don’t need no education.” I shrugged an
d grinned at him. “Can I have some water?” I sank onto the barstool next to my backpack.
Burke rubbed his beard. “I’m not supposed to serve you at the bar when it’s open.”
I rolled my eyes. “There’s fucking no one here! And I only want water!” We both scanned the empty bar and spotted Sienna and Evan over by the stage. She was practicing her set, and Evan was watching her like a love-sick puppy. Sienna’s voice always turned my brother stupid.
“Fine,” Burke sighed. “But only because you’re so damn cute.” He filled a glass with water and slid it down the bar to me. It was so hot when he did that.
I caught the glass and grinned at him. “Thanks.” I took a sip and gave him a sideways glance. “You honestly think I’m cute, Burke?” I’d been turning up my flirt lately, but I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere with him.
He laughed and rubbed his beard again. I was learning that that was one of his tells. Beard rubbing meant he was stressed or uncomfortable. “Very cute, Charlie.”
“Thank you.” I bit my lip as we locked gazes. Good god, his eyes! My heart raced, and I had that pulsing feeling in my lady parts again. I swallowed, hoping it wasn’t a gulp. “So, how’s Tess doing?”
“She’s good. She asked about you the other day.”
“Yeah?” I grinned and ran my finger along the edge of my glass.
Burked smiled and leaned against the bar. “Her exact words were, ‘Where’s Charlie? She was nice and did good voices for the characters in The Three Little Pigs. Can she play again?’”
I laughed and pressed a hand to my heart. “Oh my god! She’s so sweet! I would love to play again!”
Burke nodded and rubbed his beard. He was doing that a lot lately. Did I make him uncomfortable? Too much flirting? “I, uh, I have her this weekend. I promised her a Tinkerbell movie marathon.” He straightened and cleared his throat, hand going right back to his beard. “You’re welcome to join us if you aren’t busy.”
My heart pounded so hard that I was worried it might explode in my chest. Sexy, manly Burke watching fairy movies with his adorable daughter? Yes fucking please. Spending an entire day next to him on his couch? I could think of nothing better in the world.
Burke laughed and shook his head when I didn’t answer. “I mean, I’m sure you have better things to do. Parties to go to, college boys to drive crazy.”
If I could get my lungs to start breathing again, I’d answer him. Come on, lungs! Give me some air!
“Charlie! The bar is open!” Evan snapped at me from across the room.
I rolled my eyes and turned to face my brother. “It’s water, dude! And when your first customer gets here, I will leave!”
Evan rolled his eyes, too, and turned back to Sienna. “Fine.”
When I turned around to face Burke again, he’d moved down the bar to slice limes. “Hey!” I called over to him.
Those mind-numbing eyes flashed up to meet mine. “What?”
“I would love to watch fairy movies with you and Tess. What time?”
He graced me with his laugh. “We’ll probably start at 7 am on Saturday.”
“Fuck, that’s early.” I laughed and shrugged. “I’ll bring waffles?”
God, I loved his laugh. “Sounds good. I’ll make bacon.”
“Perfect. Can’t wait.” I smiled at him and sipped my water. As our gazes locked for the 100th time, Sienna started singing a cover of Iris by the GooGoo Dolls. Her clear, sweet voice filled the bar, and the lyrics sank deep inside of me. The song was doing something to Burke, too. We couldn’t take our eyes off of each other.
Holy shit. Holy fuck. I couldn’t breathe. My heart couldn’t handle the heat pouring from Burke’s gorgeous green gaze. I tore my eyes away and let them settle on Sienna and Evan instead. In an effort to break the spell, I laughed. “Look at my stupid brother. He’s whipped.” Evan was watching Sienna with a smile.
The nearness of Burke’s voice almost made me jump. He’d moved back down the bar to where I sat, with my back turned. He spoke practically right in my ear. “There’s nothing wrong with being whipped by a good woman.”
I turned slowly, expecting to see him watching Evan and Sienna. Instead, he leaned forward with his elbows on the bar, eyes trained right on me. I felt like I was made of glass, and Burke could see everything inside of me. Cracks spread through my glass walls as those green eyes bore into me.
Burke was going to shatter me.
“You done with this?” He asked, pointing to my empty glass of water.
I swallowed— it was definitely a gulp this time. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Of course, cutie.” He winked at me and took the glass from my hands, letting his fingers brush against mine. His touch sent a shock through my system, like the sweetest fucking torture.
The front door opened, and a group of guys in ties and button-down shirts wandered into the bar. I cleared my throat and picked up my backpack. “That’s my cue to leave. I’ll see you on Saturday! Tell Tess that I’m excited to see her.”
Burke nodded and rubbed his beard a final time before turning to his customers. I headed over to say goodbye to Evan and Sienna. I kicked the back of my brother’s knees, making his legs buckle a little. “Goddamn-it, Charlie.” Evan laughed and turned to pull me in for a hug. “Are you heading out?”
“Yep.”
“Give mom and Sophia a hug for me.”
I snorted. “Not Bea?”
Evan laughed. “Bea, too. She’s usually too pissy for hugs, so I didn’t want to subject you to her moods.”
“The girl just needs a night out.”
“When’s Jack taking Sophia? Aren’t they supposed to be working out a shared custody thing?”
I shrugged. Our ex-brother-in-law was a fucking tool and a shit dad. “We don’t trust Jack with Sophia. Remember when Bea was with dad, and Jack let baby girl fall down the stairs because he was playing video games?”
Evan clenched his jaw. “Right. Asshole.” My brother ran his hands through his hair and glanced over at me. “You know what, I’ll come over tomorrow and give everyone hugs myself, okay?”
I laughed. “That would probably mean more, dude. See you tomorrow.” I waved at Sienna and headed out the door, but not before stealing one more glance at Burke. He was busy pouring drinks for his customers, but he paused to give me a wave and a smile.
Shut up, heart. Work with me lungs.
I pulled out my phone as I walked to my car to send Matteo a text. Mattie-boy!!!! Burke invited me to watch movies with him and his daughter on Saturday! I’m freaking the fuck out! What should I wear?
YES, GIRL!!!!! Um, we’re going shopping as soon as I get off work. You’re getting DICK this weekend!!! I’m so happy for you! I have tears in my eyes. I’m crying, Charlotte!
My heart raced as I drove home. I was not getting dick this weekend. I was watching Tinkerbell movies with Burke and his six-year-old daughter. What about that scenario equaled dick?
But I was thinking about dick. I was imagining what it would feel like to have Burke between my legs. Bea told me that sex hurt like hell for her the first time, but her first time was with Jack, and he was an asshole. Damn, Bea had probably never had good sex in her life.
When I arrived at my mom’s house, Sophia wandered around the living room, dumping out buckets of toys on the gray oriental rug. My sister was curled up on the couch, staring at her phone with red-rimmed eyes.
I scooped Sophia up in my arms and covered her soft squishy cheeks with kisses. “Hi, angel-face! Hi, baby girl! I love you love you love you!” Sophia squealed and struggled in my arms, so I set her back down to resume her destruction of the living room.
“Bea, you good?” I asked and collapsed next to my sister on the gray sectional.
She rolled her baby blue eyes and tucked her blonde hair behind her ears. “No.” Her lower lip trembled, and she tossed her phone on my lap. I picked it up and saw Jack’s stupid face on the screen. He had his arm around a skinny little brunette
that wore way too much makeup and not enough clothes.
“Can I troll him? I’m gonna troll him.”
Bea let out a sob and snatched her phone from my hands. “Why is my life falling apart? Why is everything so hard? I can’t do this anymore!”
I slid my arm around my older sister and kissed the top of her head while she cried. “You have to keep doing it for Sophia. You have to.” Bea’s body shook with grief, and I hugged her tighter. “Hey, I’ll watch the spawn tonight. Go to Evan’s bar and get trashed. He’ll let you drink for free.”
Bea nodded and swiped at her tears, smearing her mascara. “Yeah. He’s told me that a few times.” She hiccupped and covered her face with both hands. “I should, right? I need to get trashed and stop thinking about everything.”
“Yes.”
Bea let out a shuddering breath. “Okay. Okay, I’m gonna do it. Thanks, Charlie-girl.” She squeezed my hand and let out a dry laugh. “It’s always been funny to me that I’m ten years older than you, but sometimes I feel like you’re the big sister.”
I laughed, too. “Well, when you’re the youngest, you get to watch everyone and soak up their wisdom.”
“You didn’t get any from me, that’s for damn sure!” Bea wiped her tears again and then tried to smooth her hair. “I think you were born already grown up, Charlie.”
10
Burke
The bar was crowded for a Thursday night. Great. That meant enough tips to buy Tess a new tablet to keep at my apartment. Lexi flipped her lid when Tess accidentally left her iPad in my kitchen last week. I had to drive over to her place at midnight to drop the thing off.
Instead of thanking me, Lexi snapped, “God, Burke, you have to help her pack stuff! You have to be the responsible one! She’s six!”
Responsible. Such a shitty word meant to trap you into a life you didn’t want.
“Burke!” Evan called over to me. I glanced up and saw a petite blonde woman standing next to him. She had the Cox family blue eyes. It made me think of cute little Charlie. “This is Bea, my other sister. She’s drinking for free.” Evan led the woman to an empty barstool and said to her, “I’ll be back to check on you in a sec, but Burke will take care of you while I’m gone.”
