by Adele Clee
Two girls entered the room; the younger one carried a tray while the older girl guided her to the small table. “We’ve been baking bread,” the younger girl said, her excited eyes twinkling.
Ivana smiled. “And it looks wonderful, Martha.”
Despite Ivana’s cheerful countenance, Leo could sense her anxiety. She could not eat the bread.
“It smells delicious, too,” he added. “I can hardly wait to try some.”
After introducing herself as Matilda, the older girl cut a slice, buttered the surface with care and handed it to him.
“A plate, you need a plate,” Herr Bruhn said in a mild state of panic as he put the younger boy, Christoph, down.
Matilda jumped and almost sent the tray crashing to the floor.
“It doesn’t matter about the crockery,” Leo said taking a bite of the bread.
Ivana sucked in a breath as her fearful gaze bore into him.
The bread was moist and being freshly-baked was consequently easier to swallow than Leo had anticipated. His stomach did spasm once or twice, but he managed to finish it without gagging.
“It was delicious,” he said, and they all cheered for him as they had done for Ivana when she’d nibbled on the sweet biscuit.
Ivana’s shocked expression was quickly replaced with one of utter joy. The muscles in his abdomen grew taut as his desire for her flared. He would eat a whole loaf just to witness such a breathtaking sight, just to see a smile touch her lips.
“Would you care for something to wash it down?” Herr Bruhn asked, appearing a little more relaxed in Leo’s company.
“What do you have?”
Herr Bruhn’s eyes lit up. “I have a new beer. It is clearer, not as murky as the ale they serve in the tavern.”
“Very well,” he nodded, “But just a small mug as I must see Frau Lockwood safely home.”
“Of course, of course,” he said nodding to himself as he rushed off.
For a moment, the room fell silent. They stared at each other, oblivious to the children’s gapes. Leo felt her gratitude explode in his chest, mingled with something else, perhaps respect, perhaps something more undefinable.
“Would you care to try the bread, Frau Lockwood?”
Ivana turned to look at Matilda’s eager face. “Could I take mine home with me?”
“You’d best hurry and wrap it up,” Leo said in an attempt to ease the girl’s disappointment. “Else I might end up eating it all.”
Matilda laughed, as did Ivana and then all the children chuckled.
Christoph came up to him and held his hands up. Leo was forced to swallow the hard lump forming in his throat. No one had ever looked at him with such admiration. He was used to fake compliments, feigned interest, had never witnessed a look so genuine.
“He wants you to pick him up,” Ivana said. “He does not say very much, the odd word now and then, but we are helping him with his speech.”
The boy smiled, and the familiarity of his countenance hit Leo like a hard punch to his gut. He had only ever seen eyes as green once before. He recognised the amber flecks, the hair as dark as ebony. He gulped a breath as his frantic gaze shot to Ivana.
She nodded in response. “It is as you suspect.”
Bloody hell!
Elliot had a child and knew nothing of it.
Feeling an overwhelming need to offer comfort, he picked the boy up, hugged him tight to his chest. Hell, the surge of emotion almost choked him; his hands were shaking, his thoughts in complete disarray.
“You’ve always known?” he asked as Ivana dabbed at the corner of her eye.
“Yes.”
Damn it all. Despite her feelings of disdain for Elliot, she had cared for his son as her own. He didn’t know how to feel. Anger flowed through him. He was angry with himself for being so negligent, so blind to the realities of life. He was angry with Elliot for the same reason. His heart ached for his friend and brother, who knew nothing of the beautiful boy he had left behind. Christ, he could feel tears welling in his eyes and he kissed the boy on the top of his head for fear he’d turn into a blubbering wreck.
What the hell was he to do now?
The boy held his palms together and opened them back and forth.
“He wants you to read to him tonight.” Her voice quivered as she spoke. “But don’t feel you have to. I’m more than happy to read to them.”
Leo gazed up at the sea of desperate faces, all nodding at him as their eyes grew wide. “Of course I’ll read to them if they would like me to.”
One of the older boys stepped forward. “We would, we would.”
Herr Bruhn returned with two tankards of beer. The old man watched him sip his drink, gave a shriek of delight when Leo expressed his approval. Despite the sadness consuming him over recent revelations, Leo was amused by Ivana’s baffled expression every time he swallowed a mouthful.
Ivana led him up to the children’s bedchamber. The girls shared one room, the three boys another, but they all piled in together to hear Leo tell his tale. It hadn’t occurred to him that the book would not be written in English and Ivana helped him read Der Froschkönig oder der eiserne Heinrich - The Frog King or Iron Henry.
It wasn’t reading the tale of the spoilt princess or the frog prince that resonated with him, but the plight of the servant with three irons bands surrounding his heart to prevent it from breaking when he learns of his master’s curse. Indeed, when Leo gazed into Christoph’s bright green eyes he wished such a thing were possible.
As he tucked the boys into their beds one thing became abundantly clear. Meeting the children had altered him, changed him in some inexplicable way. Anger still simmered beneath the surface. To the point where he believed he could quite easily rip the throats from every noble scoundrel gracing the ballrooms of the ton.
He was standing over Christoph when Ivana touched him on the arm. “We should be going now,” she whispered.
Leo turned to face the woman he had spent years despising, years blaming for ruining their lives when they had done an excellent job of doing so themselves. His heart swelled with a desperate need to repay her for her kindness to Elliot’s son.
Hell, his mind was a jumbled mess of contradictions.
She moved her hand to his shoulder, and he felt an overwhelming urge to make her happy. Indeed, as his cock stirred there was nothing jumbled or confusing about the desire thrumming through his veins.
“Then we will say good night to Herr Bruhn and be on our way.” He followed her from the room, stopping in the doorway to take another look at the boy he would regard as his nephew from now on. “Will we come here again tomorrow?” he asked.
“I put the children to bed most nights. It gives Herr Bruhn an extra hour to himself. His wife is ill, and it has been difficult for him these past two weeks.”
The nature of their affliction meant they could not visit during the day, and he sensed Ivana’s frustration at being unable to do more.
“They will all be asleep soon,” she said as Herr Bruhn met them at the bottom of the stairs.
“Excellent.” He clapped his hands. “Frau Bruhn is awake and has asked to see you. Just for a minute or two before you leave. I will keep your friend company.”
Ivana nodded. “Of course. I am relieved she has regained some strength.”
She touched Leo on the arm again. “I will be but a moment.”
As soon as she left them, Herr Bruhn led him into the parlour. “I must speak with you before Frau Lockwood returns,” he whispered, his frantic gaze glancing over Leo’s shoulder. “I am so worried about her.”
“What is it?” Leo’s heart was beating so fast he feared it would jump from his throat. “Is there something wrong with her?”
“I fear she worries too much, about me, about the children. It is making her ill. She comes here night after night and never eats or drinks a thing.” Herr Bruhn sucked in a breath before continuing in the same rushed manner. “And she looks so sad, so pale. I wonder if it�
�s because she does not wish to take food from the children’s mouths. But she is so generous with her time and money I do not want her to worry about us.”
“She cares greatly for the children,” Leo said with a sigh. So much so, she had committed abhorrent acts to prevent any more little ones from perishing. “But rest assured, I have sat with her while she has taken nourishment. During my stay, I shall ensure her needs are taken care of. I promise you that.”
Leo had planned to stay at the castle for an hour, which had soon turned into the night. Now, everything had changed. Ivana expected him to leave, but he would stay to be near Christoph until he decided what to do. He would stay to be near Ivana. Despite having no memory of the event, remnants of a long lost love, of a painful separation, lingered deep within him.
Herr Bruhn grasped his upper arm. “That is what I hoped you would say. You must take care of her. She is very precious to us.”
“I understand perfectly,” he said, the need to protect her pushing to the fore.
The more time he spent in her company, the more his need for her grew. Never had he cared so deeply for a woman. The more he thought of it, the more he knew there was only one path to take, only one course of action on this road of discovery. He would join with her as he had before. He would know the true depth of their passion. He would do everything in his power to remember what it was like to love her.
Chapter 8
Ivana smiled at Herr Bruhn as he closed the door behind them, but in truth, she struggled to fight back the tears. Frau Bruhn had held her hand, muttered a few words, but appeared too weak and pale, so close to—
“Is everything alright?” Leo’s question permeated her sorrowful musings. “You’re not the same since you went to speak to Frau Bruhn.”
Ivana gave a hopeless sigh and shook her head as they walked back to her carriage. “I’m afraid, Leo. I’m afraid Frau Bruhn won’t recover from her illness. I’m afraid it will all be too much for Herr Bruhn to cope with. I don’t know what will happen to the children. I don’t know what more I can do to help them.”
She saw pity in his eyes when she met his gaze.
“I’ll be honest with you,” Leo said, and she could sense a slight reluctance to speak. “Perhaps it is time to find them homes elsewhere. The Bruhns are elderly and cannot care for the children indefinitely.” He paused briefly. “When, or if, I return to England, I want to take Christoph with me.”
Panic flared.
How could she tear Christoph away from the only family he had ever known? The other boys would miss him terribly. And how would she cope when the time came for Leo to leave again?
“Take him away?” She almost choked on the words. But she knew that the boy’s time with the Bruhns would soon come to an end if Frau Bruhn took a turn for the worse. “Do you think Elliot would welcome the boy?”
Leo shrugged. “I have no idea. But I would like to think so. Granted, the nature of our affliction would make it much more difficult for him to care for a child. The fact his wife is unaffected would make the task easier.”
Ivana could not imagine his wife would be happy at the prospect of raising another woman’s son, particularly when it was impossible for her to conceive.
“Does his wife know he cannot give her a child of her own?”
“She knows everything,” Leo nodded. “They have no secrets.”
Guilt surfaced as she heard his mild reproof. A relationship based on love, mutual respect, honesty, and trust was what she had always longed for. But life’s complications had made such a dream impossible.
“Then you believe she will openly accept another woman’s child to please her husband?”
“Grace is a good, kind person who has saved my friend and brother from a miserable existence. I’m certain her heart is big enough to push aside any doubts or fears she may have.”
“Under other circumstances, I would have liked to meet her,” Ivana said. “But no doubt she would wish to drive a stake through my heart for what I have done to her beloved husband.”
“I’m certain, once she met the children, she would understand your motives.” He held the carriage door open for her. “Even if they are somewhat extreme.”
“And what of you, Leo? How do you feel now you have met the children?”
“I feel as though I have spent many years walking about with my eyes closed.” He spoke softly. “Now I can see why you would be angry and hurt at the prospect of them being left alone.”
She stared into his warm brown eyes, recalling how his heated gaze was able to penetrate her soul during their intense coupling. “It means a lot to me, to know that you understand why I behaved as I did. It is good to know you do not despise me as you once did.”
She climbed into her conveyance. Leo followed her, falling into the seat opposite as the carriage pulled away and rattled along the cobbled street.
“It’s fair to say I have a better grasp of the situation than I did a few days ago,” he said as he studied her. “Indeed, I am curious to know more about my time here.”
Despite the turbulent rocking, she sat forward, put her hand on his knee and the muscles flexed beneath her fingers. “Let us talk of the past no more. Know that everything I have done has been out of love, even when my actions appear to be misguided.”
“Love for whom, Ivana?” His tone sounded smooth, rich, like a lover’s soft caress and he glanced down at her hand. “Just for the children?”
Ivana sat back. “No … yes. You know what the children mean to me.” To declare her love for him so openly would be a mistake.
“Always so guarded,” he mocked. “You may struggle to speak the truth, but I can read it in your eyes, feel it in your tender touch.”
“I have never denied my feelings for you,” she managed to say, although she had made him forget what he meant to her.
The corners of his mouth curled up into a wicked grin as his brown eyes twinkled. “In the castle, you said that once our lips met, you knew I was the one you’d been dreaming of.”
She swallowed deeply, wondering at his motive for making the comment. “Yes.”
“I find it hard to believe it would take but a single kiss. I think you should show me what happened while I slept. Show me how one touch could rouse such a powerful emotion.”
“You know I cannot do that.” She shook her head vigorously as a way of convincing herself such an act was sheer folly.
“Then you leave me no choice but to use my imagination.”
Leo stretched his arms out across the back of the leather seat and closed his eyes. Ivana heard his slow, rhythmical breathing, watched the rise and fall of his chest with interest. Seconds passed before she felt the warm sensation flare deep in her core. The sudden pulsing between her legs sent a bolt of desire racing through her body, forcing her to suck in a breath.
The fragments of memories flashing through her mind evoked the kiss they had shared in her chamber. Leo had an extraordinary ability to fuse his thoughts with hers. So much so, she knew if she closed her eyes she would believe she was still encompassed in his warm embrace.
When it came to the only man she had ever loved, she was weak and powerless to refuse him whatever his heart desired.
Just to torment her, he whispered, “I know you want me, Ivana. I know you are just as keen as I to relive the experience.”
A desperate urge to surrender took hold, forcing her to make an error. Carried away on the blissful wave of ecstasy rippling through her, she closed her eyes. An erotic image of his naked body flooded her vision. She saw the joy on his face as he found his release inside her. She felt the inner peace that only enveloped her when she was with him.
“I want you so much it is killing me.” The tremor in her voice mimicked the tumultuous beats of her heart.
She could not say no to him.
The fear that usually permeated her thoughts had been suppressed by her overwhelming need to join with her one true mate. If they were quick, if they remained enclos
ed in the carriage, then perhaps she could contain her emotion. Perhaps then no one else would learn of it.
He must have felt her resolve melting under the heat raging within.
“Come to me, Ivana. Let us indulge our desires.”
Her eyes sprung open. She met his intense gaze and without another word flew to the opposite side of the carriage into his open arms.
Perhaps it was her need to hurry that made her tear at his clothes like a woman possessed. Perhaps it was the need to experience that which she had denied herself for so long that caused her to devour his mouth as though she would die if she did not taste him again.
“Show me what I mean to you,” he panted hoarsely. “Take me into your body.” The urgency in his voice was unmistakable, and he unbuttoned his breeches to let his manhood spring free.
Ivana bunched her dress up to her waist to straddle him. Ripples of pure ecstasy travelled through her as she slid slowly down on the solid length. Despite the slight resistance, her body having been starved of him for far too long, he impaled her with a loud roar of satisfaction.
“Oh, Leo,” she gulped as she took him deep inside, gripped him tight as he filled her full. The sensation of partnering him in the most intimate of acts brought tears of pure joy to her eyes.
His hands were everywhere all at once: on her bare thighs, cupping her buttocks as he thrust quick and hard.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, as he pounded into her over and over. Once would never be enough for her. She would rather die than be without him again. “Don’t ever stop loving me.”
“Bloody hell, I can’t get enough of you,” he growled before claiming her mouth, tasting her until their tongues became lost amidst the wild frenzy of moans and groans.
“It has been so long,” she murmured as he moved to nip the sensitive skin on her neck. “I need you, Leo. For now, for always.”
“I can’t touch you like this. Turn around,” he commanded, and she felt empty as he withdrew from her hungry body. “Kneel on the seat.”
