“…Even if they weren’t all true?”
“You believed in them,” Alena said as she nodded. “Sometimes that’s enough right?”
“Yeah,” her father whispered as he continued to look deeply troubled. “I just wish that something would have happened to you here to make you believe otherwise.”
“You know that Alice has never seen a ghost?” Alena said as she rubbed her father’s shoulder. “She has thing about this that she says all the time. Those who want to see something and go looking for it or feel they need to see it—they won’t. Those who are afraid of seeing ghosts or the unexplained, or those that don’t expect it are usually the ones that do.”
“And which one are you?”
“Car headlights dad,” Alena said as she got up from the barstool and headed into the other room. “I’m at car headlights.”
Alena plopped down on the old couch as wisps of dust filled the air. She stared at the television set as it played some morning news. She never really actually paid attention to anything that was happening on the TV set, instead this was her own way of washing away any thoughts, whether they be positive or negative. It was an escape to put her mind into a state where she did not have to think about the loved ones that she had lost. The news could be broadcasting the biggest event ever, the explosion of the moon, or that all dogs can magically fly—it did not matter for she was not mentally there. Her doctor said that she should try meditation, and when she explained in length at what meditation was—Alena realized that she had been doing it for as long as she could remember by just spacing off at the television set. She just did it more often these days as a way to cope.
After a while, Christopher returned with a large flashlight and tossed it beside Alena on the couch—breaking her from her meditative state.
“You’re not going to make me wear the hardhat again are you?” Alena asked as she grabbed a hold of the heavy flashlight and clicked it on and off repeatedly.
“I’d be a terrible father if I didn’t,” Christopher replied as he tossed the old yellow hardhat beside her.
Alena picked up the terrible looking hat and placed it on her head and knocked against it a few times with the flashlight. Despite being terribly loud, it did offer a rather good measure of protection. After all, the brains of this family had to be protected. Alena laughed to herself at the thought. She got up from the couch and followed her father to the kitchen.
“I packed some sandwiches,” Christopher said as he placed a small blue backpack over his shoulders. “Peanut butter and… well just peanut butter and bread.”
“No jelly?”
“I promise when we get home, all the milk and jelly you can eat.”
“Gross,” Alena said as she shook her head. She did appreciate that her father was in a lighter mood. Although, she still sensed a feeling of desperation from him. Alena was always good at reading people’s feelings. She could always tell when mom was troubled, or sad. From her father she felt a sense of someone who had just given up.
The air was cool; it was a cloudy grey day. The air smelled like rain. Every now and then a gust would blow through the tall trees overhead recreating the sound of the ocean breaking against the sand. This place definitely was beautiful in its own way—Alena could admit that much. She could see the appeal, the way the hills surrounded them and the peacefulness of it all. Back in Illinois, there are very few places that are not flat. She remembered most trips in-state consisting of flat, boring scenery. There was also something intriguing about the bluffs, the way the bare rock would just jut from the earth as though lifted by a giant’s hands. Bright green moss grew upon the surfaces of the rock. She always loved the color of moss—that unique green and its delicate looking texture.
Once they found the creek, they were on their way once more. A rumble of thunder came from overhead.
“Will it rain today?” Alena asked as she nervously eyed the darkening clouds above.
“You saw the news this morning…” Christopher said as he held out a hand and helped her over the fallen log along the way. “What did it say?”
“I missed that part,” Alena replied as he let out a small grunt as she jumped off the log. She did not allude that she actually did not pay attention to anything—she wanted to keep that private, although she really did not know why.
“It looks like we might get a little storm,” Christopher said as he continued to lead the way. “…hopefully it won’t be too bad.”
“At least we’ll be in the cave,” Alena said as she saw the creek curve off and disappear into the bluffs.
“Too much rain in the cave though,” Christopher said as he sounded somewhat nervous as well, “It’s never a good thing.”
Christopher held back the branches of a small bush as Alena entered the cave and turned on her large flashlight. She paused as she shone the light into the pool of water and watched, fascinated, as a school of minnows rippled against the water and disappeared into the rocks.
A loud clap of thunder echoed through the cave. They had reached the entrance just in time—a light rain began to fall. The sound of the rain on the leaves echoed through the cave like tiny drums.
Alena’s father lit up his flashlight and led her by the hand into the cool, humid passageway at the back of the main room of the cavern.
“Tell me a story about the cave,” Alena whispered as she shone her light along the ceiling and watched in marvel as glittering stalagmites hung before her and danced in flashes against her beam. “What did you… and your brother—what did you see in the window?”
“You don’t mind hearing it?”
“I don’t,” Alena softly replied as they continued down the dark passage.
“I spent a day, just a normal day, with my parents. It wasn’t anything especially important; at least that I could remember. My brother he relived part of a vacation that we took once out west. They were both just simple moments from our lives, happier times though. It wouldn’t start out like that though. At first, we’d find this room where everything was strange—it was like being underwater. Then we’d see an item, and as we picked it up we’d be transported to that memory.”
“What item did you find?”
“I found a picture of your great grandfather and grandmother together when they were young—one that had supposedly been destroyed in a fire.”
“So he went in as well?” Alena asked, as she grew even more curious about who all was involved and their part in this elaborate story.
“Yes,” Christopher replied as he kept his answers matter-of-fact as though he didn’t want to get Alena’s hopes up again needlessly. “He got to relive a dance of the first time he met the woman he’d marry.”
“…And James, what did he find?”
“A copy of “Watership Down” that was in the car that was struck when my parents died,” her father said as he continued on ahead all the while squeezing onto Allie’s hand as the floor grew more and more slick beneath them.
“When mom went through, she didn’t have a good memory then—hers was of her father and grandfather burying…Alena?”
“Yeah, when your mother was little, a storm came through and flooded the basement of the old store. The wall was coming down and so her grandfather and father had to fix it so that no one would discover the body—your mother was there, but she didn’t remember.”
“So she just wanted to be found, and that’s why she brought you down into the cave—into the window?”
“She just wanted to be acknowledged. We were the only people her age. I think that she was just lonely—she just wanted her existence to mean something more than just being a ghost I suppose,” Christopher said as they passed by the waterfall. He paused and looked uneasily down into the darkness then continued on. “So she found love in James. I don’t know how exactly, but she appeared to him at night and they talked over the week.”
“So you both fell in love here,” Alena asked as she carefully followed along. She wondered why he
r father paused at the waterfall—he looked so bothered by it. Then again, if any of the old stories were true, she could see why.
“Yeah,” Her father replied as they followed the spiraling passageway down to the main chamber, “I suppose so—and it was because of Alena, and her loneliness, that ultimately saved Kylie’s life.”
“But you lost your brother… right after losing your parents.” Alena whispered as she let the entirety of the thought sink in. “Did it feel like it does now?”
“A little too much,” Christopher said as he voice trembled. “I think it feels exactly the same, if not worse.”
“I’m sorry dad,” Alena said as she felt so sorry for him, for all that he had been through. She had lost so much, but she could not imagine having to go through it all twice. She began to wonder if, when she was older, she would have to go through the same pain again. The idea made her not want to ever grow older.
“I’m sorry for you,” her father replied as he stopped for a moment and gave Alena a hug. “It’s all made me… not a very great dad. I don’t think.”
“It is okay dad,” Alena whispered as she clung onto her father tightly. “I’m not a very good daughter anyway.”
“You are,” Christopher began as he wiped away what looked like tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. “…a wonderful daughter. You are so smart, and so funny. You are genuine, and caring. You are so much like your mother, you should be proud of that and never think that you are ever anything less than perfect to me.”
“You’re not really a terrible dad,” Alena said as she could feel tears coming down from her own eyes as she attempted to remain level headed. “I think one day when it doesn’t hurt so much you’ll realize that.”
“You’re too smart sometimes,” Christopher said as he attempted to laugh as they closed the distance to the main room.
“One of us has to be, right?” Alena said jokingly as she wiped away tears from her face.
Alena approached the cracked wall with a newfound sense of appreciation. She placed her hand along the cracked surface and allowed her fingertips to trace out the cracks. “Do you think maybe something happened here to destroy the window?”
“It might have been destroyed a long time ago Allie,” Christopher said as he reached a hand beside Alena’s. “When we first started coming back this wall was perfectly smooth and there was still no window.”
“Where was it?”
“I think right about here,” Christopher said as he placed Alena’s hand upon a cracked spot on the cave wall.
“It’s a good story,” Alena said as she outlined a square with her fingertips as though emulating the form of a window. “Regardless of whether it is true or not… It makes me happy.”
“That means a lot to me,” her father said as he nodded.
“Well should we give it one more chance?” Alena said as she placed finger upon the button of her flashlight.
“If you like,” Christopher said as he held his flashlight before him.
“On thee…” Alena said as she nodded.
“One…”
“Two…”
“Three…”
Alena clicked off her light just in time with her father’s. As he eyes adjusted to the darkness, she realized that is all that it was—darkness. She felt out the spot that the window was supposed to be, hoping to feel something. It was neither warmer nor colder than the surrounding stone. There was nothing magnificent or remarkable about the spot. This time she did not feel disappointment, only a deep sadness for her father. She knew how much he needed this. “I’m sorry dad…”
“Don’t be,” Christopher whispered as he let out a sigh. “I didn’t expect anything this time.”
“This trip, these stories,” Alena said as she reached out and grabbed a hold of her father’s hand. “It’s been a great birthday present.”
“Allie…” Christopher whispered as he squeezed her hand. “I am so sorry Allie… When we get back I promise I will be a better father—I will remember things better.”
“I’m not upset at all,” Alena replied. She thought that she might be. However, she couldn’t be. She knew that being a year older didn’t necessarily make her any smarter—but she felt that she understood more. She understood the need for belief—to hold onto that little bit of hope that makes you happy. Regardless of the outcome, she came today for her father. She came back to the cave to be a part of the stories that he cared so much for. A small part, the tiny irrational part of her, wanted to be here to see the window. She wanted some of her father’s pain to be eased… and finally, yes, she wanted to see her mother again---more than anything. That would have been the greatest gift. However, for some reason, this was enough for her. “I’m upset for you.”
“I’ll be alright,” her father said as he clicked his flashlight back on. “We’ll be alright.”
Alena turned on her flashlight and pointed it to the wall. She shook her head once and began to walk away. As she was walking, a small jingle echoed through the chamber as her foot kicked something against the floor. She shone the flashlight downward and the beam caught against a silver flash of something metal on the floor. She reached down and pulled up a blue fabric collar with a silver bell upon it. She read in disbelief as a little metal circle tag read ‘Face’ and had the phone number ‘309-531-5283’ beneath it. “Dad… did you…?”
“What do you have there?”
“It’s face’s collar…”
“That’s impossible,” Christopher said as he reached out felt the small fabric collar. This was buried with Face; there was no logical reason for it to be here.
“You didn’t put this down here, did you?”
“Of course not Allie…”
“You promise?”
“I promise,” Christopher said as he kept his beam fixed upon the shiny bell. “It looks new.”
Alena inspected the familiar collar—there were no frayed threads or stains in the metal. The collar had not been in such great condition since she insisted that they put a collar upon the old cat in case he ever got lost… that had to have been nearly four years ago. “Face…!”
“He was here…” Christopher whispered as he searched every crevice with his flashlight. “It must mean something.”
“It’s all true?” Alena softly spoke in disbelief. Was this Face’s way of saying that her father’s stories were real after all? “I’m sorry I doubted… please come back to me. I need you.”
“Are you here…?” Christopher asked as his voice echoed off the walls. “James?”
Though they kept attempting—no reply or explanation was given. After a time they sat down beside the wall, flashlights on the ground pointed up. Christopher unpacked two peanut butter and bread sandwiches and two bottles of apple juice and handed Alena the meal.
“So what is Face?” Alena asked as she unwrapped the overly-wrapped up sandwich. “You said he saved your life once?”
“He was Alena’s companion,” Christopher said as he pulled off the top of the apple juice container and handed back to Alena—she always had trouble with the tops. “She was a bad memory that she had turned into a good one. I didn’t really understand that at the time—but I think it meant that she took something bad that happened in her life, probably the worst thing, and she stopped letting it haunt her—and eventually she became its master. As her companion it took the form of a cat that Grandpa Bones used to call stinky, and then other animals…anyway, whenever Kylie’s father was attacking her Face came in the form of a bear made of a bluish smoke and…well…took care of him. I think when he stayed behind to help us, he kind of got locked out of his world—so he came with me and has been our cat ever since.
“Do you think he returned?”
“I don’t know,” Christopher said as he bit into his sandwich, “This is rather dry isn’t it…”
“It’s not bad,” Alena whispered as she attempted to take all the information in all at once, “It’s not great—so he could stil
l be here?”
“It is possible,” Christopher said as he nodded. He looked down to the collar that Alena held onto. “I suppose anything is possible.”
Alena took the old collar and placed it around her wrist—she closed the clasp and jiggled her wrist to hear the familiar bell. “It makes me feel a little better, I guess, just knowing that maybe he is home now rather than buried in the ground.”
“Then this trip was worth it.”
“It was,” Alena said as she smiled. “It was very much worth it.” She then felt a twang of sadness—for her father was not given anything to make him feel better. “I’m sorry that your window is gone… I… I hoped that it would be here this time.”
“I’ll be alright,” her father replied as he nodded and looked to the wall.
Alena did not believe this—after all, she could read people pretty well. Despite the turning up of Face’s collar, she knew that he wanted something more—something regarding mom. She wished that she could give him the comfort he needed.
“I’m just happy that you believe me,”
“I wish that were enough,” Alena whispered as she stared off to the wall.
Chapter 7: The Last Night
In rain we walked back to the old house. Afternoon grew to evening. The rain came so hard, and the wind so fierce, that the fireflies did not care to play that night. I believed in something once, something as small as a collar may return some light to my life.
“I think we should stay a little longer,” Alena said just after they finished dinner—she watched as her father cleaned up the bowls of canned ravioli and wondered how he could eat it two times in one day without being completely sick of it. “I mean, given the circumstances.”
“I don’t know,” her father replied as he placed his palm against his forehead and let out a heavy sigh. He looked troubled.
Alena could sense an undecided worry by his actions. She felt that he wanted to stay, to see this possible lead to its conclusion—however; she also felt that he was ready to go. A decision that she was happy about this morning, but things had changed. She had found Face’s collar, in new condition and where it should not be. It meant something…it had to. “We can’t just leave, now that things have happened.”
Window in the Earth Trilogy Page 53
