Nick leapt onto the bar in front of me, his steps sure and quick as he sprinted across it. I half-expected him to turn a full somersault when he leapt off the other end, but he controlled himself.
I took my time as I walked across the beam.
‘Come on.’ Nick made ‘go faster’ motions.
I ignored him, concentrating instead on my balance. It paid off and I made it unscathed to the other side.
I joined Nick to watch Martine. The tip of her tongue stuck out from between her teeth as she concentrated on the log.
‘Hurry up,’ Nick yelled.
She glanced up at us, and one of her feet slipped off the side of the log. Her arms cart-wheeled as she tap danced on the log, swaying from side to side. She might have made it if the woman behind hadn’t given her a shove.
‘Raaahhhhhhh,’ she cried, as she dived off the log.
‘Like watching trees being felled,’ Nick observed as she smacked into the mud ‘You think she might have bent her knees.’
Martine pushed up onto her knees and staggered to her feet. She wiped at her face, smearing more mud on than she got off.
‘Christ.’ Nick started to laugh. ‘It’s a swamp creature from the deep.’
I couldn’t help it, I started laughing as well. Every single square centimetre of Martine was covered in mud.
She wiped her hands on the back of her shirt and rubbed at her eyes again. This time she managed to clear enough mud that she could see.
‘Haven’t you got more important things to be doing than laughing?’ Her tone was snippy.
‘Sorry,’ I said as I dropped back in next to her.
I could hear Nick’s giggles echoing back to us as he slogged ahead. He pumped his little arms but I could see he was starting to struggle with the thick mud. While it came a third of the way up my calves, it was closer to his knees.
I could see the women in front trotting through a rope maze. They lifted their feet, but some still hooked their toes and went crashing to the ground.
We made it through that obstacle and headed for the next.
‘Are you kidding?’ Nick looked up at me. ‘They want us to crawl under rope netting?’
‘Oh Chanel, please can I go in the Miss Muddy run. Oh please. Pretty please,’ I said in a high-pitched voice.
‘I didn’t know they were going to make me crawl through mud.’
‘Oh stop whining,’ Martine said. ‘It’s just a bit of mud.’
‘What did you think it was going to be like?’ The building was closer but still not close enough for my liking.
‘A wet t-shirt contest crossed with mud wrestling,’ Nick said.
I barked out a laugh, tripped over my own feet and fell into the mud.
‘See.’ Nick grabbed my arm and helped haul me to my feet. He shook his head as he gestured up and down. ‘This isn’t sexy at all.’ He sighed and looked to the sky. ‘I think she’s ruined me.’
‘Who?’ We started running towards the nets.
‘Bianca.’ Nick let out a dramatic sigh. ‘I’m looking at all these wet t-shirts and I’m feeling nothing. And….’ He stopped talking as we fell to our knees and ducked under the net.
I puffed and panted as I commando crawled through the thick mud. I was kind of getting used to the feel of having slimy muck all over me.
‘And what?’ I asked as we climbed back to our feet.
‘I can’t.’ He shook his head. ‘You’ll think I’ve gone all soft.’
‘I know you’ve gone soft,’ I said. ‘You’re all goopy.’ Even his wig was covered in mud.
‘Nah. Not that sort of soft.’ His steps were slow and in time with his panting.
‘You’re in love.’ Martine looked back over her shoulder.
‘I am not,’ Nick spluttered.
‘Oh please.’ Martine shook her head. ‘Look at you. That girl’s pants just fell down and you didn’t even notice.’
‘I’m tired, that’s all,’ Nick said. He stopped running and put his hands on his knees. ‘I feel like I’ve run a marathon already.’
Martine looked at her watch. ‘The truck’s due in seven minutes.’ She turned around. ‘Get on.’
‘Huh?’ Nick looked up at her.
‘Don’t make me say it again.’ Martine bent over. ‘And I don’t ever want to hear about this.’
Nick’s face broke out into a grin. ‘You want me to ride you?’
‘Nick.’ I smacked him on the arm. ‘Six and a half minutes.’
He rubbed his hands together and then clambered up onto Martine’s back. ‘Giddy up,’ he said.
‘I swear, Rocket Man,’ Martine said. ‘I will buck you off if I have to.’
We made better time with Nick on Martine’s back, but it was still slow going and by the time we drew even with the building, we were already a few minutes late.
‘Come on.’ I darted under the balustrading and onto the race track.
‘Ouch.’ Nick rubbed his head as he dropped off Martine’s back. ‘You did that on purpose.’
‘Pay back’s a bitch,’ Martine said.
‘Hey,’ one of the women called out. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Got to go to the toilet.’ I jumped up and down on the spot.
She shrugged and kept running and none of the other women challenged us.
Nick sprinted towards the fence while Martine and I staggered after him.
‘Right,’ he said when we got there. ‘Help me up.’
‘Hang on.’ Martine held a hand up as she bent over. ‘Got to catch my breath.’
I counted to ten and then patted her on the back. ‘Martine. Please.’ Billy was over that fence and I had to get to him before it was too late.
‘Okay. Okay.’ She stood back up. ‘Here.’ She laced her fingers together and bent down so that Nick could put his foot into her hands. Then, she stood up, gritting her teeth as she straightened her back.
Nick scampered up and onto her shoulders. Bits of dried mud sprinkled down over her head as he pulled himself up, wriggling his legs to give himself momentum.
‘I can see a truck,’ he whispered.
‘Hurry,’ I hissed.
His legs disappeared and I heard a faint thump.
‘Help me up.’ I shook Martine’s arm.
‘Not till he gives the all clear.’
‘Come on. Please.’ Billy was there. I knew it.
‘Stick to the plan.’
‘The truck’s here. We don’t have time to stick to the plan.’
‘Cooooo. Coooooo.’
‘See,’ I said.
‘That’s the worst dove I’ve ever heard.’ Martine shook her head as she laced her fingers together.
I climbed onto her hands and she stood up, lifting me into the air. I put my hands on her head for balance as I lifted my other foot to her shoulder.
‘Shit,’ she swore as I kicked her in the face.
‘Sorry.’ I put both my hands on her head as I wobbled. My fingers slid through the mud and I fell forwards, wrapping my legs around her neck. Martine’s face squished into my crutch.
‘Mwhaaahaaa.’ She staggered backwards and I tightened my grip on her head.
‘Cooooo. Coooooo.’
‘Stop moving,’ I whispered.
Martine froze and I pushed myself up again, putting a hand on the fence to steady myself.
‘On a positive,’ Martine said. ‘I can see a lot better now.’
I stood and grabbed the top of the fence, sitting on its edge and swinging my legs over.
‘About time,’ Nick whispered.
I spun and lowered myself down, letting go to drop the last foot to the ground.
Martine’s head appeared a second later. I watched as she wriggled up and over the top of the fence. She copied my dismount method.
‘They’ve just started unloading the truck,’ Nick said.
‘Billy?’
He nodded. ‘Yes Princess, Billy’s here.’
My breath hiccupped and my knees wen
t weak. We had made it. We had made it in time.
‘Billy, Luca and Stefano are doing the dirty work.’
‘Carlos?’
‘Didn’t see him. But I’m sure he’s here.’
‘What do we do now?’ Martine whispered.
We had only planned as far as getting over the fence.
‘We go stop them,’ I said.
‘How?’
It was a great question. ‘Let’s go have a look.’
We crept to the side of the warehouse and peered around the corner. The truck was backed up and the ramp down. Billy walked down that ramp, his biceps bulging as he carried a vacuum-sealed bag the size of a hay bale. It was full of nappies.
I put my hands on their shoulders and, as a unit, we backed around the side of the warehouse till we were out of hearing range.
‘Right,’ I said. ‘Nick, I want you and Martine to go round to the other side of the warehouse. We’ll come at them from both sides at once.’
‘That’s your brilliant plan?’ he asked.
Martine snorted.
‘What?’ I glared at her.
‘Nothing.’ Bits of dry mud were starting to flake off her face.
‘Wait for me to take the lead.’ I was ad-libbing.
‘Okaaaay then.’ Nick shook his head. ‘Come on Martine.’
I watched them trot down the length of the warehouse and turn the far corner. Then I crept back up the side and peeked back around the corner nearest to me.
Luca, Stefano and Billy were still carrying the nappies off the truck. A hand appeared out of the driver’s side window for a second as a cigarette butt was flicked.
Was the driver with them, as in knew he was transporting drugs, or was he just some innocent who would run at the first sign of trouble?
A hand clamped over my mouth, and I was yanked backwards, spun around and pushed against the warehouse. Trent stared at me, his finger held to his lips.
‘Trent. What are you doing here?’ I whispered. I hadn’t been that happy to see somebody in a long time.
‘I thought about what you said.’ He didn’t look happy. ‘And decided it would be prudent to check it out.’ He looked me up and down. ‘Did you dig a hole and hide in it?’
‘No.’ I jerked my head toward the back fence. ‘We entered the Miss Muddy. It was the only way we could come in the back.’ I eyed him off. There wasn’t a scrap of mud on him. ‘How’d you get in?’
‘Showed them my badge and told then I needed to walk the racecourse perimeter.’
Duh. I mentally slapped myself.
‘When you say we?’ he whispered.
‘Martine and Nick are on the other side of the warehouse.’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t like involving civilians in this. What’s your plan?’
I pulled a face at him and he shook his head again.
‘We really need to work on your planning skills.’ He pulled his phone out of his pocket.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Calling for back up.’
‘Ooooooh.’ That would have been the smart thing to do.
‘Just out of curiosity,’ he paused in the act of dialling and looked at me. ‘Why didn’t you do that?’
‘Well, after you didn’t believe me, I kind of thought no-one else would. Especially because….’ I stopped. I didn’t want to bring up Gloria.
His eyes told me he knew what I had been about to say. There was pain in their depths as he looked back down at his phone.
‘Drop the phone and put your hands in the air.’
I raised my hands as I slowly turned. The door of the truck was open and a man I assumed was the driver, stood with a shotgun trained on us.
Shit.
He let out a laugh. ‘What the hell happened to you?’ he said. ‘You look like you’ve been rolling around in mud.’
‘That about sums it up,’ I said. ‘I’m actually in the Miss Muddy.’ I proffered my entry pass towards him. ‘Just looking for a toilet. Is there one here I can use?’
‘Yeah, right.’ He laughed. ‘You must think I came down in the last shower. Come on. Both of you walk in front of me.’
He gestured with the tip of his shotgun for us to head towards the truck. We kept our hands in the air as we marched in front of him.
‘Looky what I found hiding by the warehouse.’
Luca, Stefano and Billy stood by the growing pile of nappies. They each had different reactions when they looked over.
Luca’s face pulled into a mask of rage. His eyes bulged as his fists clenched. I guess he had taken Nick pinning him with a tranquilliser dart quite personally.
Stefano’s face remained the calm, expressionless mask as always. Billy’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared as he looked me up and down.
‘Well, well, well.’ Carlos’s voice echoed down from a mezzanine level. He stood outside a door leading into what I guessed were the offices. ‘If it isn’t little Candy.’
Frankly, I was surprised he recognised me with the amount of mud on me.
‘Hey Carlos.’ I waved the tips of my fingers at him.
Sally Sparkles and a little girl emerged from the offices. They stood next to Carlos, looking down at us.
‘What’s going on?’ the child demanded.
I stiffened in surprise. She wasn’t a child at all. Her overly large head and shortened limbs had her pinned as a dwarf. Her accent and oriental eyes were pure Asian.
‘I found these two lingering by the side of the warehouse,’ the driver said. ‘They’re cops. This one,’ he nodded his head at Trent, ‘was about to call for back up.’
Christina Wong was a Little Person? Why hadn’t Martine mentioned that before?
‘Excellent work, Dave,’ Christina said. ‘It’s about time we tie up all our loose ends.’
She marched along the landing to a set of stairs running down the wall on the far side of the warehouse, and then tottered down them on five-inch heels.
I glanced nervously at Billy. If he was concerned, his body language didn’t show it.
Christina stopped about ten metres from us. Sally Sparkles and Carlos took up positions on either side of her.
‘Carlos,’ Christina said. ‘Would you do the honours?’
‘It would be my pleasure,’ he said. He reached into his long, leather jacket and pulled out a gun.
My hands went back up as he aimed it towards Trent and me, but at the last second he let out a laugh, and swung the muzzle of the barrel towards Billy.
‘No,’ I shrieked. I hurtled myself towards Billy, already knowing I was too late.
The gun didn’t go off. Instead, Carlos let out a garbled cry and fell to the ground. The gun flew out of his fingers as he convulsed.
Nick burst from behind the far side of the pile of nappies, throwing the used Taser gun to the side as he ran.
I collided with Billy, taking him to the ground with me.
‘They know about you,’ I said as I tore at the fabric of the Miss Muddy shirt. It was stiff with drying mud. I looked around while I grabbed my gun and held it out to Billy.
Trent was fighting Dave for possession of the shotgun, but Luca was closing on them fast. Stefano looked undecided as to what he wanted to do.
‘If you want something done,’ Christina said. She walked to the gun and bent over to pick it up, but before her fingers closed on it, Nick tackled her from behind and together, they went crashing to the ground.
I felt Billy take the gun from me. ‘Why are you covered in mud?’ he asked.
‘Really?’ I risked a glance at him. ‘That’s your one burning question?’
‘Babe,’ he said as he wrestled the gun out of the plastic bag, ‘with you, there’s never just one burning question.’
Trent ducked as Luca jabbed at him. Still holding onto the shotgun, he spun so that Dave was between Luca and him.
I pushed myself back up and scrambled towards the gun. If I could get it, we would have fire power superiority and it would be game
over.
‘Sally,’ Christina screamed as she ripped the wig off Nick’s head. ‘Get the gun.’
She threw the wig to the side with a grunt of disgust and Nick clocked her in the jaw with a right hook. She let out a scream and bit down on Nick’s shoulder. He roared and pulled back on her braid with both hands, rolling so that he was on top. She released the bite and smacked him in the face.
I raced towards the gun, reaching out to grab it just as a polished-gold Manolo Blahnik stomped down on my hand.
‘Arghhhhhh,’ I screamed as the pointy heel ground into the back of my hand.
Sally bent and picked up the gun, her shoe pinning me to the ground.
I grabbed her ankle with my spare hand, but her body weight was heavier than I was strong.
‘I’ve always wanted to shoot somebody,’ Sally said.
Well, I’ll be damned. I was going to get taken out by Sally Sparkles. Big Bad Ben I could have lived with, but that it was to be Sally was an insult.
I stared up at Sally as she aimed the gun at my head. Her eyes were cold as she smiled. And then a bag of nappies whacked into her, throwing her sideways.
The gun went off with a bang, its echoes reverberating around the warehouse.
It took me a second to realise I hadn’t been shot. I rolled to my side, cradling my damaged hand to my chest as I crawled towards cover.
‘Everybody freeze,’ Billy called out. Nobody listened. Everybody was too caught up in their individual struggles to cede defeat.
‘Not my Chanel,’ Martine roared.
‘Martine.’ Sally’s voice was shocked. ‘After all I’ve done for you.’
‘What have you ever done for me, Sally?’ Martine’s eyes were wild. ‘Except put me down and criticise me.’
‘It’s called tough love.’ Sally still held the gun.
‘It’s called being a bitch.’ Martine panted as she spoke. ‘I idolised you. For what? Look at you. You’re nothing but a criminal.’
Sally’s chin went up and she looked down her nose at Martine. ‘You will never be half the woman I am.’
Martine threw back her head and laughed. ‘Damned right I won’t.’ She lifted the nappy bale above her head. ‘And that’s because you’re not a Drag Queen. You’re just mutton dressed up as lamb.’
The nappies slammed into Sally a second after her gun went off again. The bullet struck Martine in the chest, the force of it taking her to her knees. She toppled backwards, a stunned look on her face as she pressed her hands to the wound.
Billy Page 24
