She squeezed his hand, then stepped back. “See you later.”
As she entered her cabin, hearing the laughing and voices coming from the studio she created, she thought about what Nate had said about teens being inspired to work harder because of her. She was glad they were putting a lot into the fund-raiser, but she’d never thought of the loss of her leg as an inspiration to others.
Heading toward the back of the house, Kit felt overwhelmed with mixed feelings about her first media interview since the accident. She hadn’t become a ballerina to be in the limelight. She’d loved using her body to tell a story, to provoke emotions in others, much like a writer used words.
What’s stopping me from doing that for myself? That question stayed with her as she began class and ran through each of the routines, but no answer came.
* * *
“Nate, are you heading to the old barn?” Beth asked later that evening as she came out onto the porch of the main house.
“Yes, my truck is parked there. What do you need?”
“Carrie and Kit. Dinner is nearly ready. In fact, I hope you’ll stay. I fixed enough to feed an army in case anyone was still up at the barn.”
Howard shook his head. “Everyone has gone home. Steven left a few minutes ago. I saw his dad pick him up.”
Beth frowned. “I’m assuming the man was driving at a safe speed.”
“Yep, he even waved to Nate and me when he drove by.”
Beth turned toward Nate. “So how are he and Steven getting along?”
“Better. They’re talking. His dad still isn’t happy that Steven quit football, but he isn’t hounding him every day to reconsider.”
“That’s a step forward. Good for him. Forcing someone to do something is the quickest way to get them to hate whatever it is.” Beth glanced between her husband and Nate. “What have you two been up to out here for the past half hour?”
“We’ve been discussing some publicity opportunities that have come our way, and giving my sister some space.”
Beth’s forehead crinkled. “Why does Kit need that? Everything looked fine when I left. Her dancers were going through the dance on stage.”
“Until she got to the final performance. She isn’t happy with how it appears on the stage. In her studio it was okay but apparently not now.” Nate shrugged. “I thought it was great.”
Howard laughed and clapped Nate on the back. “She is a perfectionist when it comes to her dancing. She’ll keep at it until it’s where she wants it to be.”
“And, Beth, you want me to go back there?”
She harrumphed. “Don’t say a thing about what she’s doing and you’ll be fine. After all, my daughter hasn’t run back to the house complaining.”
“That’s because Kit can do no wrong in Carrie’s eyes. Plus she has the kid thing on her side. I don’t.” Nate started down the steps. “I’m going to need two helpings of your dessert for this.”
“Sorry to disappoint you. I didn’t make one this time.”
He swiveled around and backpedaled. “What? No dessert? Surely I didn’t hear right. You always have one.”
“I’m going on a diet and that’s one thing I’m cutting out, but you’re still invited to dinner.”
Nate chuckled and continued his mission to get Kit and Carrie for dinner. When he approached the barn, he slowed his pace and stopped at the entrance, peeking in to see what was happening before going inside.
While music from Oklahoma played, Kit was moving through the dance steps on the stage, half dancing as much as she could with her prosthetic leg. Carrie clapped over and over as Kit move through the piece. Red splotches tinted Kit’s cheeks, but she kept going. Then something happened. Her expression transformed from tension into contentment and a radiant glow shone through her eyes as though she’d become lost in the music playing and was back performing on the stage in New York. When she finished and came to a stop in the middle, she blinked, looked around and smiled.
Carrie ran to Kit and threw her arms around her. “You were great. I love watching you dance.”
Kit blushed but squeezed her niece and kissed the top of her head. “You don’t have to be great to dance and enjoy it. Lose yourself in the music and let your body go with the flow of it. What does it say to you? What emotions take over? Let them pour from you. You can’t go wrong if you do. People will know it is coming from your heart.”
Nate didn’t want to eavesdrop anymore without Kit knowing he was there. He moved forward.
She glimpsed him and said, “Carrie, I suspect Nate has come to tell us dinner is ready. Why don’t you go tell your mother I’m going to fix myself a sandwich then go to bed early.”
“Okay, Aunt Kit, but she’ll probably not be too happy.”
“Tell her Nate is going to share a sandwich with me. That’ll make your parents happy.”
Carrie giggled and raced from the barn, giving Nate a grin as she went by.
“There goes my super fan.” Kit made her way to her bag and removed a hand towel, then ran it over her face and neck. “You don’t have to come to dinner at the cabin. I had to think fast, and that was the first thing I could think of that would get me off the hook.”
Taking off his cowboy hat, he bowed, sweeping his arm across his body, then plopping his Stetson back on. “I’m glad I could accommodate you. Don’t say I haven’t helped you.”
Gripping the hand railing, Kit descended the side stairs of the raised stage. “Never. You’ve helped me more than I had any right to ask.”
“Why do you say that? We’re friends, aren’t we? Doesn’t that give you the right to ask?”
“We both know we wouldn’t have broken up years ago if I hadn’t insisted. I’m the one who didn’t have the time for a relationship.”
He took her bag, then her hand, and started for the cabin. “Neither one of us was ready for that kind of commitment. You were right to end things between us. You don’t have to fix me a sandwich. I can always throw something together at home.”
“I know Beth. She asked you to eat with them. I’m not depriving you of your food. That’s the least I can do for using you as an excuse not to go to a family dinner. It’s been a long day full of a lot of emotions I need to work my way through.”
On her porch he turned to her, hooking her stray hair from her ponytail behind her ear. “Then that’s my cue to leave you alone.”
“No, please stay and keep me company at least through dinner. The one thing I’ve realized I need is someone to talk to about what’s going on. In New York I cut myself off from my friends when I needed them the most. I don’t want to make that mistake again.”
“Okay, if you let me make the sandwich.”
“You’ve twisted my arm, but fine. You can fix dinner.” Kit opened the door. Right inside the entrance sat Lexie. Kit bent over and picked up her poodle, nestling her against her neck. “When I’m here, Lexie always has a way of making my problems go away for the time being. I’ve lived without an animal for a long time, but now I don’t think I could anymore. You were so right about having a dog to help me.”
“Chalk one up for my side.” He drew a 1 in the air.
“While you’re fixing sandwiches, I’m going to get more comfortable.”
Before heading to the kitchen, Nate watched her cross to the hallway, dressed as she often was when taking classes, in a leotard and skirt, this one long. The foot of her prosthetic leg peeked out, clad in a ballet shoe matching her right one. Just standing before him, he couldn’t tell anything was different until she walked. Her limp was more pronounced this evening.
* * *
Kit sat on her bed to remove her prosthetic leg, then went through an abbreviated care routine, which she would finish after Nate left. But for the time being, her left leg was sore, and she wanted to go without her
prosthesis. She checked for any signs of irritation before cleaning the area and massaging the skin.
She could have waited until Nate left in an hour, but if a relationship was going to progress, he needed to see her without her prosthetic leg. She hadn’t even shown her brother or Beth yet. For some reason, it seemed right to let Nate see first.
The realization she was falling in love with him again struck her like a bolt of lightning. For weeks she’d been telling herself he was only a friend, that their time had been when they were young and didn’t know what a relationship really meant. Over the years she’d dated other dancers, and when those relationships hadn’t worked out, she’d decided she wasn’t supposed to fall in love and get married. But now Nate had her reconsidering. Yet was she really ready for a commitment when she still wasn’t sure about her plans for the future?
After wiggling into a comfortable pair of knee-length shorts and a T-shirt, she snatched her crutch and stood at the side of the bed, steadying herself. Then she walked toward the open living area, her stomach solidifying. Her sweaty palms caused her crutch to almost slip from her support until she gripped it tighter.
The first thing she spied when entering from the hallway was the table set for two. Then she swung her attention toward the kitchen and caught Nate staring at her. Not in horror. Not in revulsion. His expression softened, his eyes gleaming.
His gaze stayed linked to hers as he crossed to her and cupped her face. “You’re the most beautiful person I know—inside and out.”
When he lowered his head and covered her mouth with his, it felt like what energy she had left drained from her, and she wrapped her right arm around him at the same time he wound his about her. His kiss possessed her, claiming her as his. Her crutch fell to the floor, and she depended on his support to stay upright.
In that moment she realized she wasn’t just falling in love with him—she’d already fallen. She loved him. When he leaned back to stare into her eyes, the words to tell him were on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed them. She wasn’t ready. It was still too new. She was still trying to figure her life out. She didn’t want to hurt him again.
“What kind of sandwich did you make?” she finally asked when the intensity in his look was robbing her of rational thought.
“You’re talking food after that kiss?”
“I burned a lot of calories today. First working with Carrie alone, then the dance academy and finally the rehearsal. I need nourishment.” She prayed he couldn’t see her newfound love in her face. Not yet. She pointed to her crutch. “Will you pick that up for me?”
He laughed. “I’ve got a better idea.”
Suddenly he scooped her up into his arms and walked toward the table. A thrill shot through her at being carried in his embrace. Lexie yelped the whole way until Nate eased her into the chair kitty-corner from him. When he straightened, she missed his touch.
“Is Lexie going to chew my ankle or is she cheering us?” Nate took his seat.
“Cheering. She growls if she’s upset or leery.”
“Whew. That’s good to know.” Nate bowed his head and blessed the food, then dug into his roast beef sandwich. “Howard got a call from the reporter to set a date. She’d like to interview everyone and film the rehearsal as soon as possible. Would tomorrow at five be okay? The rest of us in the barn will be quiet while they’re here. We want the piece shown as soon as possible, hopefully the Sunday evening news.”
“I feel like I’m being steamrolled. We aren’t completely ready, but the first dance is in good shape. We’ll work on that one while they’re here. I’m glad I told the kids it was a possibility.” Kit took a bite of her food.
“How did they take it?”
“With excitement. On Tuesday and Thursdays I don’t work as long with Madame Zoe, and Carrie and her friends’ lesson with me will be through by three. When you leave, I’ll give the cast a call to be here thirty minutes earlier than usual. That’ll give us some extra time to prepare for the interview.”
“Good. Beth will have her group here, too, although the interview will probably revolve around you.”
“That’s the part I don’t like, but I guess I can use my situation to help with the publicity for the fund-raiser.” Kit had come to that conclusion as she’d worked with some of the girls who didn’t make the Summer Dance Academy. A few had been so discouraged but she was trying to show them there was more to life than ballet—and more to ballet than the Summer Dance Academy. Not making the cut, which had seemed so tragic to the girls at the time, had actually opened the door to having other experiences with their summer that they couldn’t have managed if they’d attended the academy. She had to remember to see her own situation in the same light.
Nate frowned and lifted his glass to his lips to take a sip. “I don’t want you to feel you have to put yourself on display.”
“If I want to show these young people that tragedy doesn’t mean the end of a dream I must be able to talk frankly about my experiences. I’ve found with Carrie and her friends that’s the only way to make my point. Some of them were talking about not taking ballet anymore since they didn’t get into Madame Zoe’s academy. One of Carrie’s girlfriends asked what’s the point.”
His expression evened out, and he relaxed in the chair. “How did you answer her?”
“We talked about interests and hobbies. We don’t do them to become world famous or even to be on stage. We don’t do them to make a lot of money. We do them because they bring us satisfaction and joy. Then I asked the girls why they took dance in the first place and if they enjoyed it while they did it. Each one said they loved it. They haven’t said anything else about quitting since that first class. In fact, I’m having them do small parts in the performance, and they’re excited about that.”
Nate locked gazes with her. “You’re a natural teacher. I saw that today while you were working with the kids on the stage.”
“You think that’s what I should do?” She’d considered it but wasn’t sure.
“It’s not what I think that matters.”
She nibbled on her bottom lip, looking across the room at the wall where there was a photo of her performing in Swan Lake. “What if what I want is to dance? That’s not going to happen.”
“When I watched you earlier running through some steps, you were dancing. It won’t be the same, but you can still do it.”
“I know. I’m trying to give up the notion of performing in front of an audience. There is more to ballet than that. I’ve discovered—or rather rediscovered—that lately with the students I’ve been working with. And choreographing the performance for the fund-raiser has been challenging but fun. Both have given me something to do this summer. Otherwise, I would have gone crazy with boredom.” Kit sipped her tea, part of her surprised by what she’d said. Until now she hadn’t really stopped and thought about it. She did like to teach and choreograph—more than she had realized in New York. For the first time she glimpsed a future, not quite as she’d envisioned this time last year, but at least one involving ballet.
When Kit finished her dinner, Nate took the plates and glasses to the sink, then picked up her crutch and brought it to her at the table.
“I’d better leave. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. Just know I’ll be there cheering you on during the interview.” He glanced down at Lexie, now sitting in her lap. “Along with Lexie.” He bent down and brushed his lips across Kit’s. “I’ll let myself out.”
She watched him leave, stroking her dog, the action soothing. When she was alone, she held up Lexie. “I love him, but I also did when I was younger. I don’t know what to do. Should I say something to him? Or should I keep quiet because it isn’t fair to him to tell him, then leave like I did before? Lex, don’t tell anyone, but I need to go back to New York. I left my life there unresolved.”
Lexie snuggled a
gainst Kit’s neck.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take you if I leave. I can’t do it without you, girl.”
Chapter Twelve
A series of raps sounded at Kit’s door the day of the Western Shindig the following week. She set her teacup on the counter and hurried to answer it. When she pulled it open, Beth rushed into the cabin, waving Cimarron City’s newspaper.
“Your story is on the front page. You must have wowed the lady. First the television station and now the newspaper. When they get to the part about the fund-raiser, my name is mentioned.” Beth grinned. “My fifteen minutes of fame.”
“In my book you should get more. This fund-raiser is going to be a success tonight due to your hard work on the food and costumes.”
“Oh, I almost forgot the other reason I came down here.” Beth disappeared outside and when she came back in, she carried a bouquet of yellow roses. “I was tempted to peek at the card, but I didn’t.”
Kit knew who had sent her the yellow roses. Nate. He had done the same thing at her first professional performance and then her first one with the New York ballet company. That had been the only contact she’d had from him after they’d broken up. When Beth set them on the table, Kit plucked the card out of the greenery while her sister-in-law headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” Kit asked as she saw Nate’s name sprawled across the white note.
“To get the other bouquet of flowers.” She brought in an arrangement of deep red roses. “You’re popular today.”
“Nate sent the yellow ones. Who would send these?”
“I suggest you read this.” Beth presented her with its card.
When Kit did, her hands shook as she stared at the name on it. Gordon Simms. The man who ran the New York ballet company. “My previous boss. How did he even know about tonight? Even if he somehow heard about the news story, flowers are something he’d send for a performance and no one knows I’m going to perform except you.” Kit glanced at Beth. “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”
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