Tears obscured her view as Kit continued her trek outside where Howard should be waiting for her. But instead Nate had parked his truck at the end of the sidewalk.
He lounged against the side, but when he spotted her, he pushed away from the Silverado and strode toward her. “Howard had something come up and asked me to take you to the airport.” He took two suitcases from Beth, who hugged Kit then scurried toward the main house. He set them in the back of his pickup, then returned to the porch for the last piece of luggage.
If she had the time and wouldn’t be late for her plane, she’d find her brother and have a few choice words with him. He wouldn’t give up his silly matchmaking plans. He thought he knew what she needed. Irritated, she hoisted her dog carrier onto the seat and then hauled herself up next to Lexie.
When Nate sat behind the steering wheel and started the engine, his hard expression emphasized the angular planes of his face. He pulled away from the cabin.
“You could have refused my brother.” She didn’t want to leave with such anger between her and Nate.
“I know exactly what Howard is up to, but maybe he’s right. Maybe we do need this time to finally say what needs to be said.” He stopped at the gate and shifted toward her. “I love you. Does that mean anything to you?”
“Yes. I love you, but I need to do this.”
“Because your career is the most important thing to you?”
“Because it has been who I am for most of my life ever since I was five and took my first ballet lesson. I have to see this through.”
“I never asked you to give up dance. I’m willing to compromise.”
“Would you be happy in New York? You love what you’re doing and where you are.”
“Yeah, and until you showed up, I was perfectly content with my life.” He put the truck into Drive. “You’re right. New York isn’t for me. But mostly our relationship wouldn’t work because I need to feel more than second place in your life. I’ve finally realized that my love doesn’t mean the same as yours.”
The rest of the trip to the airport passed in silence. A silence that made it difficult for Kit to pull her thoughts together. Was she making a mistake?
Nate parked and helped her bring her suitcases to the airline counter. After she checked in, she turned to find him gone. A sharp pain sliced through her heart as though she were leaving part of it in Oklahoma.
* * *
As Kit approached the intersection where she had her accident nearly nine months ago, she slowed her gait, clutching the strap of her purse. Sweat popped out on her forehead and drenched her palms. For three months since she’d returned to New York, she’d avoided this area. But she wouldn’t hide from it today. This was one last hurdle she needed to overcome—the last remnant of her fear. She’d faced the fear of being part of the ballet company in a different role. It had proven to be fulfilling, but even after three months she knew that something was missing in her life. At first, she kept thinking it was the regret she couldn’t perform and dance anymore, but over time she began to doubt that was the problem. Maybe this was it.
She stopped at the curb, a trembling in her hands spreading through her body. When the light indicated she could cross the street, she stood frozen while people flowed around her and into the intersection. Someone bumped her arm, and she nearly fell forward. She caught herself, sucking in gulps of air to quiet her thundering heartbeat.
She moved out of the stream of people and waited through the light changes. She wished Nate were here with her, holding her hand, giving her his support.
Lord, I need to do this. Please.
Two women nearby looked at her, and Kit wondered if she had said that prayer out loud. She didn’t care. She wasn’t going to do this without some help and Nate wasn’t here.
As the walk sign flashed, a cloak of peace fell over her shoulder and cocooned around her. She stepped off the curb and fell into step with the crowd around her. When she made it to the other side, only a block away from where the performance of her first solo choreographed ballet would be tonight, she didn’t know how she did it. She nearly collapsed to the sidewalk but grasped a pole close by and waited until she knew she could walk the length of the street to the theater to meet with Beth and Carrie. Her sister-in-law had brought her niece for the opening performance.
Carrie saw Kit and ran through the throng to hug her. “I wish you could have gone sightseeing with us today.”
“I will tomorrow. There were last-minute things that needed to be done.” Interestingly she’d never thought of asking Beth and Carrie to come with her when she crossed the street, even though she knew she’d have asked Nate if he were there. “You two will have my undivided attention then.”
Beth finally caught up with her daughter. “If it were humanly possible, Carrie would have climbed that building over there. She has been so excited she can barely contain herself.”
“We’re going to go in through the stage door. This way.” Kit gestured toward the alleyway between two buildings.
Carrie skipped ahead of them.
Beth chuckled. “She’d on cloud nineteen.”
“How are the dance lessons with Madame Zoe?”
“Fine. About her—” Beth glanced away then back at Kit “—she came on the same flight we did. Gordon Simms invited her to this opening.”
“He did? He didn’t say anything to me.”
“I think he’s been talking to her a lot since he came for the Western Shindig.”
“You know this is beginning to make sense to me. I wondered why he didn’t just call me about the job opportunity. Why come all the way to Cimarron City?” Continuing toward the backstage door, Kit lowered her voice because Carrie waited for them before going inside. “I thought maybe Madame Zoe had told Gordon about the production to get me out of town. That wasn’t it. She wanted him to come see me, and see her, as well. Ah, she is crafty.”
“Maybe she’s tired of being alone. A career won’t keep you warm at night.”
Beth’s words kept repeating themselves through the ballet performance and even the party afterward. Kit couldn’t rid her mind of the fact she wasn’t content even in the midst of the critical acclaim for her new ballet and the thundering applause from the audience. Taking her bow on stage as the choreographer had been a thrill, but the moment she left, that feeling fled to be replaced with emptiness. Several of her friends had gotten her flowers to congratulate her, but all she wanted was the bouquet of yellow roses from Nate that wasn’t there.
* * *
Kit hugged first Carrie then Beth as the cabdriver finished putting their luggage in the trunk. “I had so much fun seeing New York through you-all’s eyes yesterday.”
As Carrie climbed into the backseat, Beth said, “I hope you’ll be coming home for Christmas as usual, but you know the cabin is always there for you and you have a home on the ranch.” She grinned. “After all, you are a part owner in it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Kit waved to both of them as the cab drove away. When it disappeared around the corner, tears coursed down her cheeks. They were gone one minute, and she already missed them. She’d missed them in the past when she’d left to return to New York, but not like this. She rubbed a fist into her chest where her heart ached.
By the time she reached her apartment, the wet streaks running down her face had increased. She scooped up Lexie, sank onto the couch and held her pet against her. “Lex, what am I going to do? I can’t ignore it any longer. My life isn’t the same as it was before. I’m different. I can’t define myself as a ballet dancer any longer. I don’t even want to anymore. What am I?”
She’d made a big mistake by walking away from Nate a second time. He forgave her the first time. How could she expect him to again? While in Oklahoma, she hadn’t seen he was the best thing for her. She’
d been too focused on her problem, and she’d hurt him.
Kit held her poodle up in front of her face. “Lexie, what should I do? Stay here?” She paused a few seconds. “Or go home?”
Lexie barked.
* * *
Nate sat at his desk in his office at Harris Animal Hospital, staring out the window. Colorful leaves swirled through the air, the wind whisking them down the street. The grayness of dusk settled over the landscape. What was Kit doing right now? A question he asked himself every day—even though he tried not to, because Kit would invade his thoughts. He remembered her last dance. The emotions she’d summoned that night could still rise into his throat.
A rap on his door frame followed by Emma poking her head into the room snagged his attention. He sent Emma a smile, appreciating the interruption. Thinking about Kit wasn’t helping him move on.
Emma planted herself in front of his desk, one balled hand on her waist. “I thought you were having dinner at the Soaring S Ranch. If you don’t get a move on it, you’ll be late.”
“It seems like when you’re working, your personal mission is to make sure I leave at a decent hour.” Nate pushed to his feet, wishing he hadn’t agreed to dinner with Howard after putting in a twelve-hour day.
“That’s because you’re spending way too much time here. You’re putting everyone else to shame for going home at a normal time. I heard Dr. Harris grumbling about that the other day.”
“He did?”
“He said something about taking in a third partner. You’re out there generating so much work for you two. The ranches in the next county are clamoring for your services.”
“That’s because the vet over there doesn’t specialize in big animals like I do.”
“And you’re much better than he is, especially personality wise. Even animals respond to your kindness over his grumpiness. Speaking of going to the Somerses, have you heard how Lexie is doing with Kit?”
Where did that question come from? Nate shook his head and snatched up his keys on the desktop. “What does the vet in the other county have to do with the Somerses?”
“We were speaking of your dinner date and it made me think of Kit.”
“All I’ve heard is what Beth told me last month when she returned from New York. Lexie has settled in well with Kit in her apartment. Carrie got a kick out of taking Lexie to the dog park nearby. She didn’t realize they existed in big cities.”
“What did Beth and Carrie say about the Grimms’ Tales?”
“Since when have you been interested in ballet?”
“Since I met Kit. Besides, Madi talks about her all the time.”
If he didn’t leave soon, he would be late for dinner and he knew Emma wouldn’t let him depart without an answer. She was like a bulldog. She wouldn’t let go until she got what she wanted. “They raved about it. Apparently it’s a huge success.” He wouldn’t add that he’d been following the stories about the ballet Kit had choreographed on the internet. If he was fool enough to mention that, then he’d be here until midnight with Emma bombarding him with one question after another. “Now, as you pointed out, I’m going to be late if I don’t get a move on it.”
When he walked outside, a cold wind from the north blasted him. Summer was definitely gone in Oklahoma. He shrugged into a jacket he’d left in the truck, then headed toward the ranch to his once-a-week dinner ritual with the Somers family. Although he enjoyed cooking, they had decided to take him under their wings and feed him. This needed to be the last time. How was he going to get Kit totally out of his mind if he kept going back to the ranch and seeing the cabin?
Darkness covered the terrain when he pulled up to the front of Beth and Howard’s place. As he bridged the distance to the porch, he resolved not to prolong the visit this time. Exhausted by the hard pace he’d maintained the past few months, he pressed the doorbell, his eyes closing for a moment. When the door opened, he popped them open only to find he must have fallen asleep and was dreaming.
Kit grinned. “Come in. I was getting worried about you. Thankfully dinner is a soup that can stay on the burner for a while.” She stepped to the side, gripping the door while she waited for him to enter.
Nate remained rooted to the porch. No words came to mind for several heartbeats, and then they assailed him. “Give your family my apologies. I’m no longer hungry.”
He pivoted, but before he could take a step, Kit clutched his arm. “You can tell them yourself. They’re at the cabin eating dinner.”
He made the mistake of glancing over his shoulder at her. His heartbeat pounded in his chest while his mouth went dry. “What’s going on?”
“I want to talk to you, and I was afraid if I came to see you that you’d slam the door in my face. Howard and Beth thought since you come out to the ranch every Tuesday that I could use that time to let you know I’ve returned to Cimarron City. For good.”
He stiffened and yanked his arm from her grasp. “Who are you trying to fool into believing that? Me? You? Your family?”
Pain flitted across her face, but he wouldn’t allow himself to be softened by that. These past months he’d been running as fast as he could from the memory of her and had found he’d remained stationary. In love with a woman who couldn’t commit to him.
“You have every right to be angry with me. I’m angry with myself that it took so long to figure out what I really want in life. What was more important to me than even ballet.”
He turned to confront her, his arms straight at his sides while he opened and closed his hands. “Don’t say it’s me, because I won’t believe you. Twice you left because of your career. I can’t take a third time.”
“Madame Zoe is staying in New York, and I’m taking over her dance academy.”
“Congratulations. Now I’m leaving.”
“Please don’t.”
He shook his head as he backpedaled away from her, then spun on his heel and stormed down the stairs. When he reached his truck, fury rampaged through him. He drove away and didn’t look back.
* * *
When Kit entered the cabin after cleaning up all evidence of her planned dinner for two with Nate, her family was finishing up the dishes. Beth took one look at her and asked Howard and the children to go back to their house without her.
The second Kit sat on the couch, Lexie jumped in her lap, clearly sensing that something was wrong with Kit.
When everyone was gone but Beth, she eased down in the chair across from Kit. “Obviously it didn’t go well. I’m not surprised. Some men can be stubborn.”
“No, Nate has every right to walk away after what I did to him. I’m not sure I’ll ever show him that I’m ready to make a commitment to him. When I decided to be a ballet dancer, I put everything behind it. Now I want to put everything into our relationship, but nothing will work between us unless he’s willing to believe me.”
“Then maybe time will be the answer.”
“I hope he’ll at least forgive me for hurting him a second time.”
“I hope so, too.”
After Beth left, Kit combed her fingers through Lexie’s coat. Time she had—what she lacked was the confidence that it would be enough.
* * *
When Kit entered the Harris Animal Hospital, she wished she was seeing Nate under different circumstances. It couldn’t be helped, though. He was covering the weekend and Lexie was sick.
Emma showed her into the room.
“Does Nate know I’m here?” Kit asked, fear for Lexie and for seeing Nate for the first time in two months encasing her in a cold chill.
“Yes. He’s finishing up with another dog and will be here shortly.” Emma peeked into the dog carrier. “Poor Lexie. She doesn’t look good.”
“Yesterday she wouldn’t eat and what she did she threw up. I was up with her part
of the night and knew first thing this morning I would have to bring her in. Look at her eyes. They’re red.”
The door opened, and Nate entered the examination room. A stoic expression quickly turned to a worried one when he lifted Lexie out of the carrier. “What is happening with her?”
Kit quickly gave him a list of symptoms. “I have a sample of her vomit. I know that might help you diagnose her.” She handed him a plastic bag.
“I’ll keep her here and run some tests. I suspect it is CPV.”
“What?”
“Canine parvovirus infection. If so, it’s highly contagious.”
The beating of Kit’s heart was a slow throb. “She’ll be okay, won’t she? I can’t lose her.”
Nate’s look softened, his gaze connecting with hers for the first time since he came into the room. “Survival rate is high if treated. I’ll take good care of her and keep you informed.”
She touched his arm. “Thank you. I know she’ll be in good hands with you and the others here. Let me know as soon as possible if there are any updates. Call my cell. I’ll be at the high school. Tonight is the dance academy’s winter Christmas production.”
“We know about it. Madi has been asking us all week if we’re going to come,” Emma said as she zipped up the dog carrier and gave it back to Kit.
“Are you going?” Kit shifted her gaze from Emma to Nate.
“Yes,” Emma said, but Nate remained quiet.
* * *
Kit stood offstage in the high school auditorium, relieved that Lexie was in good hands with Nate. When he called earlier to tell her Lexie had a confirmed diagnosis of CPV, he reassured her he would take care of her pet. Just the sound of his voice telling her that had calmed her fears about Lexie.
Anna ended the final dance of the evening and took a bow to the audience’s applause. The teenager would go far in the ballet world if she kept progressing as she was. Kit remembered her own performance at Anna’s age when she really didn’t realize what was in store for her. She’d had her share of highs and lows. Some she’d been prepared for; others she hadn’t. She would help Anna as much as she could, but the young girl would have to discover many things on her own.
Her Hometown Hero Page 18
