No Quest for the Wicked

by Shanna Swendson

  “How do we know we can trust you?”

  Earl shrugged. “How do we know we can trust anyone in this group?”

  Granny came over to us, scowling. “I thought this was supposed to be a big store, but they don’t have a proper girdle, just those Spandex panties,” she said. “I don’t hold with this Spandex stuff. Don’t trust it at all.” She noticed Earl and said, “My, I didn’t realize they made your kind this big.”

  “Granny, Earl is an elf,” I explained. “He’s different from the wee folk back home.”

  “There are factions among the elves?” Rod asked Earl. “We hadn’t heard anything about that.”

  “The Elf Lord would like a return to the old ways, when he held absolute power. Many of us would prefer that not happen. His office now is mostly ceremonial, and for some of us, even that is too much.”

  “You’re trying to eliminate the position entirely,” I translated.

  “Not necessarily immediately, but over time. And that won’t happen if Sylvester gets the brooch—and you can be assured that he won’t hand the Eye over to the wizards.”

  “Maybe we’d better continue this discussion in another venue,” I suggested. “Someone may be following us.” Not to mention the fact that it was weird being with my boyfriend and my grandmother while surrounded by underwear. My grandmother was related to my mother, after all, which meant there was a strong possibility that at any moment she would suggest that I needed to pick up some nice things while I was there. Or worse, she’d ask me to explain a thong.

  “In case we really are being followed, I suggest we take the escalator and spread out,” Rod said. “Even if one of us gets caught, the others could still have a chance to get away.”

  Earl went down first to act as a scout. When he made it to the next floor below, Rod went. Thor and Granny followed after a group of shoppers went down. Although both Earl and Thor looked magically odd to me, I knew they were likely using magic to hide their nonhuman features from ordinary people. The other shoppers would only see a lanky kid and a little old man, even if I thought they looked incredibly odd riding an escalator.

  As we waited for our turn to go down, Owen whispered to me, “We only have three tranquilizer darts.”

  I saw what he meant. “And we’ve got four magic users with us. Does it work on elves and gnomes?”

  “Jake said it worked on everyone. And I would suggest not mentioning the darts to our new friends.”

  “And probably not Granny, either,” I said. “I don’t think she’d hurt me to make sure I couldn’t knock her out, but then we don’t know what she’d be like under the influence of the Eye.”

  “At least we can be sure of each other,” he said with one of his shy smiles that made my heart go pitter-patter.

  “Yeah, because I’d feel really bad if I had to dart you.”

  We stepped onto the escalator for the long ride down. No one seemed to be following us, and it didn’t look like any of the other members of our party had been waylaid on their way down. As we got on the last escalator to head to the ground floor, I became more attentive. It occurred to me that maybe it would have been better to mix up the immunes and the magical people so there would have been someone to spot trouble and someone to deal with it, but I was so used to that being my partnership with Owen that I’d automatically teamed up with him.

  When the ground floor came into view, I first saw Earl lurking near a display. Some dark suits milled around the floor at the foot of the escalator, but I couldn’t tell from this distance if they were security, staff, or customers. Granny and Thor were hard to spot, since everyone else was so much taller than they were. It took me a while to find Rod, but when I did he was walking right past a throng of the black-suited men without drawing any attention. It looked like we were in the clear.

  I glanced at the escalator steps to time my step off. Once I was on solid ground, I looked up and saw a wall of black suits closing in on us. “Uh oh,” Owen muttered, and I knew he’d noticed them, too. “Act normal,” he whispered, taking my hand. I clutched it desperately as he led me right to the black-suited people.

  They didn’t do anything as we approached and then walked past them. They didn’t tell us to stop, didn’t try to stop us, didn’t grab us. All they did was fall into step behind us and follow us toward the exit. They didn’t do it in an obvious, obtrusive way, though. If I hadn’t been paranoid about store security and being followed, I wouldn’t have noticed them at all. They seemed to just be going along with the flow of the crowd from the escalator toward the exit.

  “I think they’re watching us,” I whispered to Owen.

  “Let’s find out.” He tugged on my hand, pulling me toward a display. “Hey, look at this,” he said more loudly.

  Even while I pretended to look at whatever Owen was showing me, I saw out of the corner of my eye that the people in black had gone back to milling around. “What are they up to?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. Something seems off.”

  “Magic off or other off?”

  “I’m not sensing magic.”

  “That’s good, right? If wizards are watching us, it probably has something to do with the quest, and then we’ve got problems.”

  “Yeah, we’re running out of room on the team. We’ve already got too many for the flying carpet or your average restaurant table.”

  “I was thinking more about those magical enforcers. They might not be happy about you being on this quest.”

  “I know most of them by now, and I don’t recognize these people.”

  “Maybe they’re wizards watching us so they can swoop in and grab the Eye as soon as we find it for them.”

  “It is reassuring that everyone seems to think we’re the horse to bet on.”

  “Yeah, but I’d rather do this without an entourage,” I said. “Teamwork is one thing, but it’s hard to be stealthy with a crowd.”

  “I guess we’ll have to lose them.”

  “How?”

  “Like you said, teamwork. Come on.” He took my hand again, and we went back to the main part of the sales floor, among all the fragrance counters. Rod and Earl were still lurking, and Owen caught Rod’s eye as we went past. Rod’s eyes then tracked the black-suited people following us, and he nodded, then wandered casually over to where Granny and Thor were arguing over a cologne that he liked but that she was loudly proclaiming that she thought smelled like a cheap whorehouse.

  Owen then tugged my hand to lead me toward them. We walked past Granny. A moment later, I heard a startled cry followed by a thud. I couldn’t resist looking back—since I figured that even an innocent person would have—and saw one of the black-suited men on the floor. Granny stood nearby, casually moving her cane to her other hand. A crowd formed around the fallen man, making it impossible for him to follow us. A nearby store staffer’s reaction confirmed he wasn’t an employee. This was a whole new party following us.

  “One down,” I remarked to Owen.

  Now I spotted a couple of others coming after us, and they were being more obvious about it, elbowing people out of their way to get closer. “Head for the exit,” Owen said through gritted teeth. “Let Rod and the others deal with them.” He’d gone pale, and I could tell from the muscle jumping in his jaw that this was killing him. He was used to being the one to defend others magically.

  One of the followers got so close that I could practically feel him breathing down my neck. We were next to the men’s fragrance counter, so I whirled, grabbed a sampler bottle and said, “Have you tried our new scent?” as I gave him a thorough spraying, right in the eyes. I dropped the bottle back on the counter and ran after Owen, a smell like a spice factory explosion in a pine forest trailing me as relentlessly as the human pursuer, who stumbled blindly after me.

  Rod rejoined us near the exit. “They’re persistent. Who are they and what do they want?”

  “They haven’t tried to grab us, but they’re following us,” Owen said. “If we can’t lose th
em in here, I’m not sure what we’ll do outside.”

  “Head out,” Rod said. “We’ll cover you and waylay them.”

  We hurried toward the Broadway exit, but there was another man in black blocking the door. He could easily follow us when we left—or keep us from leaving. We turned to head for another exit, but yet another black-suited man appeared. As he approached Rod, a thin, blond figure flew at him, shouting, “Stay away from him!”

  It was Natalie. She threw herself between them, then turned to Rod and said, “Go on, I’ll hold him.” With a smile, she added, “And I promise to wear blue.”

  “I thought you broke that spell,” I said to Rod as we ran toward Thor and Granny, who’d been easily taking out their pursuers while maintaining the facade of being helpless elderly people.

  “I did! I guess I’m just irresistible on my own.”

  I elbowed him in the ribs. “Remember, you’re dating my roommate.”

  “Now what?” Owen asked. “They’re covering the exits.”

  A pure, high, plaintive sound swelled through the air, and everyone in the store stopped to listen. It was as though the best Irish tenor ever had launched into a mournful folk melody in front of a bar full of Saint Patrick’s Day drinkers, leaving them all crying into their green beer. Earl the elf was singing, that hauntingly beautiful voice disconcertingly at odds with his appearance.

  “Ah, elfsong,” Rod said with a nod, a tear trickling down his cheek.

  “An interesting use for it,” Owen said. “Let’s go before it loses its effect.”

  Even the black suits stood entranced, their eyes welling with tears. Granny and Thor joined us, holding on to each other like a couple of drunks. Owen and I had to herd the group through the revolving door because the others didn’t want to leave. Earl let the last note linger, then joined us. “I don’t know how long the effects will last, so we’d better lose them before it wears off,” he said.

  Granny patted him on the arm. “That was lovely, son. Do you know ‘Danny Boy’?”

  “Granny, later,” I said. “There’s a subway across the street, or we could go back to Penn Station.”

  “Penn Station,” Owen decided. “It’s easier to lose someone there.”

  We ran the long block back toward the station. As we ran, Owen got out his phone and updated Sam on the situation. I didn’t notice large groups of people wearing black following us, but I felt a lot more comfortable once we were in the station. “Now where do we go?” I asked.

  “Away from here,” Owen replied, putting his phone back in his pocket. We headed across the station to the Eighth Avenue subway, and a little of Rod’s magic got us quickly through the turnstiles in time to jump on an uptown train just before the doors closed.

  Our group stood in a cluster around one of the poles near the door. “I think we need to talk before this goes any further,” Owen said.

  “Yes, over food and ale,” Thor agreed.

  “I could do with a bite,” Granny said.

  “Come to think of it, I didn’t get much lunch,” Rod put in.

  “You got more than I did,” I said. “I didn’t have much appetite then.”

  “Okay, we’ll talk over food,” Owen said with an exasperated sigh. We got off the train at Fiftieth Street and moved cautiously out of the station. Thor took the lead, moving one step at a time and glancing warily around before taking another step.

  When he’d reached the sidewalk, a voice said, “It’s okay, you’re in the clear for now.” Startled, Thor jumped backward, lost his footing, and would have fallen if Earl hadn’t caught him. “Oh, sorry about that. Didn’t mean to scare you,” Sam said from his perch on a sign in front of the subway entrance.

  Thor jerked himself out of Earl’s grasp and straightened his jacket. “I was not scared. I was merely startled. I don’t expect to see gargoyles at this level.”

  “Were they able to follow us?” Owen asked.

  “Hard to say,” Sam replied. “You know, in this city, wearing black doesn’t make anyone stand out. For now, though, there’s no one nearby that worries me. You’ve probably got a good half hour before anyone can track you down. What’s your next move?”

  “We will discuss our fellowship over food and ale,” Thor said.

  “Lunch,” I translated.

  “There’s a diner just around the corner,” Sam said. “It’s probably safest if you split up and don’t go as one big group. Just in case, you know.”

  The party left in twos. I was about to head out with Granny, but Sam caught my eye and shook his head, so I lingered with Owen. When the others were all gone, Sam said, “I figured that was the easiest way to get you two alone. I’d have kept Rod in, but someone we trust has gotta keep an eye on that bunch. And Katie, I thought your grandma was gonna go back to the office.”

  “That was the plan,” I said with a sigh. “She refuses to go. She says she came here because something’s going to happen to me, and she wants to be there when it does.”

  “She’s powerful, so that might not be a bad thing.” He escorted us to the diner, gliding as we walked. “So, you’ve picked up some new friends,” he said.

  Owen gave him a quick recap on the new party members and what we’d learned about the various factions. “At the rate we’re going, I wouldn’t be surprised if a manhole cover popped open and the Mole People came out to say they wanted to join our group,” I added.

  “It is reassuring that they have so much confidence in us,” Owen said with a wry smile. “Do you have any idea who the people in black were? I couldn’t tell what they wanted, and they weren’t that aggressive. It was more like they were trying to hamper us or delay us than hurt us.”

  “We’re lookin’ into it. They aren’t with the Council, I can tell you that much. The boss hasn’t clued them in on all this yet.”

  “They’re sure to find out sooner or later.”

  “And then they’ll probably want to join our team,” I said. “I don’t suppose there are any other leads on the future Mrs. Martin?”

  “None that I’ve heard.”

  “Who came up with the Macy’s lead?” Owen asked, frowning. “Because we only got the tip a little while before we went there, and even though it was a false alarm, they were there in pretty significant numbers.”

  “A mole at MSI?” Sam asked.

  “It wouldn’t be the first time,” I reminded him.

  “I’ll look into it. Now, you get something to eat and find out what the elves and the gnomes are up to. I’ll stay in touch.” He flew away, and we headed to join the others at the diner.

  They’d pushed together two tables to seat our entire group in the nearly empty restaurant. Once we’d ordered, Owen asked, “Do any of you know who those people were in the store?”

  “I thought you were running from security,” Earl said with a shrug.

  “Security would have done more than just lurk and follow,” Rod said.

  “No, they definitely weren’t just store security,” Owen said.

  “Let’s see, how many factions does that make so far?” I asked. I ticked them off on my fingers. “There’s MSI. There are the Elf Lord’s elves. There’s whatever group Earl represents. There are the gnomes.”

  “We’ve got a couple of factions, too,” Thor put in.

  “And, of course, there’s this mysterious fiancée,” I continued. “Plus now maybe a group of wizards.”

  Our food arrived, and after devouring his hamburger, Thor said, “It’s cards on the table time. If we’re going to work together, we need to know where we’re all coming from. I’ll start.” He cleared his throat and began, his voice taking on the singsong rhythm of someone reciting a story word-for-word from memory. “Great goldmasters the gnomes have been for many generations. Thus it was that the Elf Lord sought our aid for the greatest work of all: the wedding of the Eye of the World to the Knot of Arnhold.”

  “But the Knot has been lost for centuries!” Earl protested. “Sylvester didn’t have it!
Lyle only saw a vision of it this morning!”

  Dropping out of bard mode, Thor shrugged. “Hey, all I know is that Sylvester came to our people with these two things and wanted them physically and magically joined. Someone must have found them for him.” He cleared his throat, then continued his tale. “Though the gnomes had great skill, this task required great fortitude. The temptation would be great to seize power and invulnerability. Charms were cast and the goldsmiths worked two-by-two, no one ever alone with the gem when it was outside the box that shielded it. The most noble and upright guards kept constant watch.”

  Granny snorted. “Must not have done too good a job, since you’re looking for it now.”

  “It was treachery!” Thor shouted, shaking his fist and then pounding it on the table. The fact that he was sitting in a child’s booster seat made the gesture less intimidating than I was sure he intended. “The Elf Lord betrayed the gnomes, taking the great work without payment.”

  “That would be like him,” Earl put in. “He’s beyond cheap.”

  Ignoring him, Thor went on. “Our people could not stand for this. Gnomes tracked elven movements, watching for signs of the lost brooch. Seers searched the heavens.” He launched into an in-depth description of the search. It was as though he’d memorized this story and couldn’t deviate from it in any way, even if we didn’t care about these details.

  Out of boredom, I picked up the newspaper that had been left on an adjacent table and skimmed the headlines of the Life and Style section. There was a review of a new television series beginning that night that sounded interesting, although I doubted I’d be home in time to watch it. I turned the page and saw the society coverage. The photo accompanying the column about a fundraiser being held that night at the Metropolitan Museum of Art stopped me cold. Every single muscle in my body tensed.

  “No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” I muttered in sheer horror.

  “Katie, what is it?” Owen asked.

  “I think I’ve found our future Mrs. Martin. And we’re doomed.” They all turned to stare at me, and I had to gulp a few times before I could choke out the words, “It’s Mimi.”