“He likes logic,” Devon said.
“Yes,” Bess agreed with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
So, after losing his parents, he’d become a recluse. “You said Bronwyn’s death changed him?”
Bess took a long, deep breath as if cleansing herself before moving on with the story. “Bronwyn was staying here with Thad. Thad had been on the mainland, working at the hospital, and hadn’t seen her for a few days. I wasn’t here, either. I’d been away from the house for about a week.”
“They were alone in this house? Zave and Bronwyn?”
“Yes,” Bess said. “At some point, for some reason, nobody knows why, she left here.”
“On her own?”
“The boat was gone from the dock, so yes, and she made it back to the mainland. Zave didn’t know she was gone. No one did. We still don’t know exactly when she was taken or even when she left here.”
Concern furrowed her brow. “But the technology that monitors sound and movement—”
“It wasn’t long after we lost Bronwyn that Zave put those up everywhere, but it was too late. Art and Brodie did what they could to find her, and they did, I don’t know how. But it was too late. They found her body in the desert, not far from one of the cartels’ headquarters. She was there with half a dozen other women, and we still don’t know why they were killed.”
The story was so horrific that Devon’s tears came again. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, trying to brush away the tears.
“I don’t mean to upset you,” Bess said, using the back of her hand to wipe Devon’s damp cheek. “I’m telling you this because you’ve said you’ll join us. I haven’t seen Zave take an interest in a woman in years, but he’s punished himself for too long, Devon. If there’s a chance we can pull him through this and make him see that he deserves to be happy… I know it’s a chance that Thad, Brodie, and I, have to take.”
So Devon was here not just because of what she knew, but because of how Zave had reacted to her after the auction. “He told me I was special,” Devon admitted. “But I don’t know if that means anything.”
Bess tightened her grip on Devon’s hand. “I’m not asking you to fall in love with him. I know you can’t make yourself feel something that’s not there. All I’m asking is that if you do feel any kind of attraction or any glimmer of a connection, that you don’t let yourself be discouraged by his indifference. It can be scathing; it’s hurt us all. It still makes Zara uncomfortable at times. Just be patient with him, can you do that?”
The man was more complex than she could ever have imagined, and he’d been to hell and back. Now, he was subjecting himself to these horrible environments as some kind of penance, dealing with disgusting men and saving women to assuage his guilt.
Devon wasn’t discouraged by the story; she could understand why he was reluctant to get close to Zara. If he blamed himself for what happened to Bronwyn, Thad’s girl, he may see Zara in the same sort of light and may worry that he may one day be responsible for her downfall.
“I’ll be patient,” she said. This woman was so accepting. “He’s been through some terrible things, but he’s extremely lucky to have you and the others.”
“He knows. He has grown a lot, he’s more serious and responsible these days. He couldn’t ever go back to the way he was. We’re family. We do whatever it takes to get through these things together. And you’re going to be a wonderful addition to our little group.”
Bess pulled her into another hug, and Devon tried not to read too much into the idea that she was being welcomed into this family. Even if Bess didn’t say it, Devon felt the expectation they’d put upon her to rescue a man far stronger than she was.
Dinner tonight would be revealing and once it was through, Thad would take Zara and Brodie back to the mainland, leaving her alone with Bess and Zave. Devon might come back to her room when they departed, or maybe she’d get a chance to get to know her host better.
TWELVE
Eating dinner at the Knight house was a revealing experience. Observing the way these people interacted with each other betrayed so much about their personalities. It was a wonder that they chose to spend as much time together as they did. Though if they hadn’t been blood, she doubted that they would elect to be in each other’s company because their personalities were so different.
Thad and Zara laughed with Bess. They told stories, shared memories, and projected nothing but openness. Brodie said little and was rarely addressed by the others as though they knew he had no interest in being a part of their chitchat. But he did contribute. Once in a while he’d interject, he and Zara would flirt. Devon would be fascinated to know how this couple had been brought together. But she didn’t yet have the confidence to ask.
She, too, was invited to speak. Devon told stories about her life pre-abduction, and if it hadn’t been for the ominous cloud sitting at the head of the table, it might have been a benign experience. While most of the table were speaking and Brodie was following along, Zave didn’t say a word. It wasn’t that he said little. He literally didn’t say a single thing.
When it came to the end of the night and the plates were being gathered up, Devon offered to help transport them into the kitchen. As she left the dining room with her hoard of dishes, she noticed Brodie and Zave rise in unison and move towards the window. That was the first time she saw Zave’s lips move in speech all night, although she couldn’t hear what was being said.
Instead of joining the men or helping the women, Thad disappeared out another door. To do what, she didn’t know. Perhaps to prepare their helicopter for flight or to pack whatever was being transported.
Shown through the passageway that led to the kitchen, Devon put the dishes down on a central island and was about to ask what other chores she could do when Zara pulled out a stool.
Slapping a hand on the seat, Zara smiled. “Sit down, Devon, we’ll take care of this,” Zara said and went to join Bess, who was rinsing dishes to stack them in the dishwasher.
Self-conscious at remaining still while they were working, she made another offer. “I should do something to help,” Devon said.
“You need to regain your strength,” Bess said.
“I’m sorry that Rave and I have to go,” Zara followed up, changing the conversation before Devon could object. “It would’ve been nice to get to know you better. Though from what I hear, we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.”
“Devon is joining us, isn’t it exciting?”
Resting her forearms on the island, she was glad of the physical support. “At least for a while,” Devon said, trying not to raise her caretaker’s hopes too high.
“I think it’s great,” Zara said, bending to put another plate into the dishwasher. “It’s about time the Kindred expanded their ranks.”
Bess touched Zara’s cheek before turning to retrieve the dishwasher detergent. “Since you came into our lives, young lady, we’ve done nothing but expand.”
Zara had been smiling and relaxed all night, but while Bess’ back was turned, Devon saw a tightness cross the beauty’s shoulders as her eyes wandered sideways. “No amount of new members can replace what we lost,” she murmured.
Bess stopped what she was doing and turned back. Rounding the open dishwasher door to take hold of Zara’s arms, she was firm. “Don’t hold on to the past,” Bess said. You know that he’d be proud.”
The kitchen door opened and Brodie came in. His semi-neutral expression pounced into high gear. “What the fuck did you say to her?” he demanded of her and Bess, marching over to take hold of Zara.
“Nothing,” Zara said, forcing a smile. “No one said anything.”
He grabbed the back of her neck in one strong hand and tugged her forward. “You want to stay? We’ll stay.”
“No, it’s not that,” Zara said. A man who’d change all his plans for his girl without questioning her or hesitating was a rarity. “We’ll say our goodbyes and get on the road. We have business to take care
of, beau.”
It didn’t take long for them to say their farewells. While the women held onto each other for a considerable time, no tears were shed. Then they were gone and life carried on.
Bess put the dishwasher on and turned to her. “Would you like a nightcap?” Bess asked. “We have a nice sherry, or there’s port and—”
“No. I was a complete lightweight with alcohol before all of this.”
Bess laughed. “Ok then, why don’t you go through to the dining room and I’ll bring some coffee through.”
“I can—”
“No! Let me deal with it… I could use a minute to myself.”
Devon couldn’t tell if Bess meant it. Maybe what Zara had said reminded Bess of something she wanted to reflect on by herself. Whatever the reason, Devon wasn’t going to question the woman who’d been so good to her when her request was so simple.
So, she got up and followed the corridor back to the dining room. It was lucky she’d been in this room so many times, she was beginning to learn the route. Although it was the first time she’d been to the kitchen, she recognized the hallway one of the corridors intersected and so she found her way back.
Bess might need a minute, but if she brought coffee through, she might want to talk. If that turned out to be the case, Devon wanted to be there for her as Bess had been her shoulder of support earlier in the day.
When she walked into the dining room, she didn’t expect to see Zave, standing facing the window that she’d been looking out when she first laid eyes on him. The window was closed now, but it was night, so there wouldn’t be much to see out there.
His static silence and lack of reaction to her entry should’ve intimidated her. But it didn’t. In fact, she was so overwhelmed by the many things that she wanted to ask him that she couldn’t settle on a single sentence to begin on.
She wanted to talk more about what Bess had told her about his past. Wanted to express condolence for the loss of his parents, wanted to ask questions about what had happened before Bronwyn left this house.
Devon wanted to know about his company, about his inventions, about his process. She wanted to know why he felt it necessary to say nothing while in a room full of people who were making an effort to be social.
Why did he hold himself away from everyone? Segregate himself? Why did he lock himself away in a room and only come out when he had no other choice? Devon wanted to ask about his wild youth, if he held happy memories of that time or if he had regrets.
She wanted to know why he’d been skulking outside her bedroom door. Why he’d kissed her. Why he’d told her that he’d never do it again.
Except instead of speaking, she began to move. She walked past the table, across the room, to the window where he stood. Whether he sensed her presence or not, he didn’t acknowledge her, and knowing she would never be able to logic him into admitting his deepest secrets, she had to take a different approach.
Bess had told her that it had been a long time since he’d shown any interest in a woman, and all she could assume was that he was punishing himself with self-exile. Standing at his back, she opened her arms and wrapped them around his torso. He tensed. But he didn’t say a word.
Coiling her arms all the way around him, she pressed her chest into his back and rested her temple on his spine. Zave didn’t seek emotional comfort from anyone. Didn’t venture into intellectual debate. The man shied from any form of conversation.
But this, physical proximity, affection, they hadn’t been a part of his world, maybe ever. Sure, Bess spoke of sex parties and women, but she’d never mentioned love or comfort, care or fondness. Devon didn’t want this man to exist alone because she knew what that was like, having existed that way herself for most of her life.
She had Rig if she was stuck, just as Zave had Bess to keep him fed. But having one person choose to simply be a comfort was a luxury that no amount of money could buy or replicate. It wasn’t even something family could provide, because this was choice, not obligation.
“What are you doing?” His low voice vibrated from his chest through her body.
“I hate seeing you in pain,” she answered, because honesty was the only answer. Maybe that was what she’d seen in him that drew her to him, the agony he exuded while trying to project to the world that he was untouchable.
“I deserve to be in pain,” he said. “I should be in pain.”
“Is that why you do it?” she murmured, sliding her arms further around him. “Is that why you won’t let anyone in?”
“You don’t understand, shy.”
Closing her eyes, she could sense that he wasn’t comfortable with her proximity, but she had never felt more content. The stress and trauma she’d carried since arriving here melted away, and her body slackened. Aches began to wane. Anxiety faded and with the scent of him permeating her, she languished in the shelter he provided her. No person had ever made her feel as safe as this.
“I do,” she said. “I do understand.”
She might not be in his head and she certainly didn’t have any psychology degree, but so much of him made sense to her after her conversation with Bess. “There are things in my past—”
“I know,” she said. Bess couldn’t have told him what they’d discussed. Devon wasn’t going to lie to this man; she wouldn’t give him any excuse, ever, to push her away. There and then, she made that assured decision.
“How could you possibly—”
“Bess told me,” she confessed.
That was when he pulled away. In the same instant, he spun around, and although her breath was stolen from her by surprise, somehow her arms remained around him. “She what?” he snapped.
His anger was boiled and she sensed a shame intermingled with it, but that made her pull herself closer to maintain their connection, to keep him here with her during the subsequent shared silence in the dimly lit room.
“She didn’t tell me more than facts,” Devon said.
It wasn’t like Bess had spent hours going into every detail of Zave’s emotional reaction to the various personal situations. She hadn’t tried to deconstruct him, hadn’t betrayed any confidences about moments of weakness when he may have let his cultivated exterior crack.
“Why would she do that?” he barked.
“I assume because I’m joining your team. I have to know some of the history.”
“No,” he said. “I said no.”
He took ahold of her shoulders to jolt her body away from his, so he could withdraw from her hold. “Tonight was my initiation, that was what Bess told me,” Devon said, watching him stalk towards the cleared dining table. “I think your attendance was taken as your acceptance.”
“Well, it’s not,” he said, slowing down to curl his hands around the back of one of the chairs. “You can’t be here, Devon. You have to go. I should’ve sent you with Brodie. He’d have kept you safe.”
“I’m safe here.”
“No, you’re not,” Zave replied in another burst of anger that made him whirl around to glare at her. “You’re not safe here, Devon. No woman is.”
“I don’t believe that,” she argued back, moving away from the window. “Everything about this place is wonderful and your family is incredible, and you…” Clasping her hands between her breasts, something warm rose up within her. “It breaks my heart to think I could’ve left this place without ever meeting you.”
It seemed like so long ago that she’d been locked in that room with the four-poster bed, demanding to meet the man who had bought her only to be told she would never see his face. But she’d seen it now, and it was one she didn’t want to live without.
“You’re grateful,” he said, trying his best to push down any glimmer of emotion. “You were in a bad place and we pulled you out. You’ve latched onto—”
“Maybe,” she said. “Maybe it is gratitude that you saved me, but don’t you see I’m not the only one who’s been locked in a cage? Zave, you can’t live like this forever. It tears Bess a
part. Thad worries for you. Even Brodie and Zara—”
“You don’t know them.”
She could sense how he was struggling to restrain the emotion he’d tried for so many years to rid himself of. “I know that after your parents died, Brodie was your lifeline, the only one you trusted. I see the way you talk to each other. You have trust deeper than most brothers would. Maybe I don’t know him and Zara well, but they have each other and they’re in love. Anyone can see that. He lost his parents, too, but he doesn’t punish himself like you do.”
“What do you think is going to happen here?” he snarled, lunging forward a step. “Think I’m going to suddenly agree with you, start smiling and laughing and going to the office every day? Is that what you want?”
“No,” she said. “I want you to accept me. It’s a first step.”
“I can’t do that. I can have Thad take you to Brodie’s—”
She wasn’t going to let him shut her down when progress was so close. “No. I only deal with you. That was our agreement.”
“That was made before everyone decided you joining the team was a good idea. I don’t even talk to Zara, and I’ve known her for months. What would make you think I’d talk to you?”
Because all throughout the meal, she’d felt him watching her. Devon tried to be covert about looking at him, but he wasn’t nearly as subtle. He stared at her eating, watched her lift her water glass, examined the nuance of her smile, and scrutinized her hand that lay on the table.
Falcon (Kindred #5) Page 13
