I knew I was lucky, but when I lifted the lid to the box, and peeled the tissue paper back, lucky was the last thing I felt. There nestled in the red tissue was a black rose. I gasped in horror as I lifted the notecard that was lying across the stem. With shaking fingers, I blinked a few times before trying to read it.
I know
I dropped the card back in the box and quickly shoved the lid on it. All I could think about was running. I had to get away. All the fears that I'd had when I first came home five years ago came rushing back. He was here. He was watching me, and was choosing now to try and come back into my life. Richard was the one who'd been following me…and this note just confirmed it.
Without even thinking about it, I grabbed my purse and jacket, and raced toward the front door. As I passed Hannah's office, I stopped, and made an excuse to leave. She seemed to accept it, and didn't question me as she nodded and told me to have a good day.
Once in my car, I grabbed my cell and texted Cole.
Me: Can't come over tonight. Not feeling well.
Cole: I’ll come to your place then. I can bring you something.
Me: I'm fine. I'll just see tomorrow.
He didn’t respond after that, and I hoped that he would accept my excuse and stay away. The last thing I wanted was for Cole to get messed up in my past. He had enough going on, and adding to his burdens was the last thing that I wanted to do.
When I reached my apartment that afternoon, I scurried inside, locked the door, and sank to the floor. The terror I'd been fighting to keep hidden rushed to the surface and erupted as I clutched my knees and held them to my chest. All the possibilities that I'd seen in the future with Cole began disappearing one-by-one as the memory of the black rose came to the forefront of my mind. How could I have been so foolish to think that Richard wouldn't ruin this for me? Everything good in my life had been tainted by him, and now he'd wrecked this too. I screamed as I flung my keys across the room and watched them crash to the floor. Anger, fear, and sadness engulfed me as I mourned the happiness that I was sure to lose. How could I ask Cole to help with this? After what I knew about his past. How could I take him back there? I couldn't…that was the answer. I was going to have to let him go.
Chapter 21
Cole
"Huh, that's weird," I muttered as I looked at my phone again.
"What?" Wes looked up from the papers he was shuffling around in front of him to stare at me.
"Maddie was supposed to come over tonight, and she's cancelling," I reached up to scratch my head as I clicked the screen off on my cell and shoved it back in my gym bag.
"Well…" Wes smirked, "with the way you two have been going at it, maybe she just needs a break."
“Real funny Jerk,” I grumbled.
“Seriously though…if you’re that worried, just go check on her after you finish here,” he shrugged before sliding his chair back and standing. “I’ve got a client coming in, and then my evening is totally open. I'll be fine if you want to head out then."
"You sure?" I watched him round his desk and head towards the front door to meet whoever had an appointment with him.
"Yeah. It's no biggie. Really," he called over his shoulder.
"Thanks man," I sighed.
Something was not right, and the more I thought about that text, the more it bothered me. Maddie never blew me off anymore. We’d gotten passed that after our first date. Wes was right though. Maybe she did need a break. We’d spent every night over the past week together. I was either at her place, or she was at mine. I was beginning to wonder if we even knew how to be apart. I guess I was going to find out tonight.
ooooooooo
When I left the gym that evening, I couldn’t help the feeling of dread that settled in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know where it was coming from, but something was off. The text that Maddie had sent was still lingering in my mind. She had said she wasn’t feeling well. Maybe she really was sick? Maybe it was a woman thing, and she just didn’t want to tell me? Maybe I was reading too much into this?
I slammed my hands on the steering wheel of my Explorer as I sat in the parking lot. I'd been trying to convince myself to go home for the last ten minutes. I knew if I did, and I'd just sit there in my empty apartment and worry.
Finally giving in, I called my sister. I hadn't talked to her since before Maddie, and I had started dating, but she was the only woman I felt could give me an honest answer.
"Hello?" Angela's soft voice came on the line.
"Hey Ang," I sighed.
"Cole, what's wrong?" I could hear a slight panic in her voice, and I felt bad that I was worrying her.
"Calm down! I'm fine," I reassured her. "I need to ask you something."
"Oooookaaay?" I'd caught her off guard, and I snickered lightly.
"I met someone," I started but was cut off abruptly.
"A woman? You met a woman?" she gasped.
“Yeah, I met a woman,” I rolled my eyes. I knew this would happen. I knew as soon as she found out about Maddie I’d get the third degree. Now I was just waiting for the firing squad of questions that were sure to come out of her mouth in the next thirty seconds.
"When? Where? What's her name? When can I meet her?" her mouth was going so fast I could hardly get a word in edgewise. "Wait…how long have you been seeing her?"
“Breathe Ang,” I chuckled.
"I'm sorry," she laughed. "It's just…it's been forever since you actually dated anyone. I wasn't sure if you'd ever settle down."
"Well, Maddie was kinda of a surprise," I smiled to myself as I thought about how hard I'd pursued her when we first met.
"So that's her name? Maddie?" Angela giggled. "Tell me more," she begged.
"We've been seeing each other for about a month. We ran into each other at several different spots, so I don't know where you'd say we met."
"And?" she pushed.
"And what?" I grumbled.
"When can I meet her?"
“I don’t know. She doesn’t know about what I did. I’m afraid I’m going to have to tell her if she meets you and Mom,” I pressed my palm to my forehead and sighed.
"Cole," Angela paused as if she was trying to find the right words. "You have to tell her. She needs to know, and if she likes you…then she'll understand. You did what you had to do for me…for us."
"I know but…" I trailed off as I thought back to that night I finally stood up to my father.
"You have to be honest," Angela coaxed. "Does she know? About what Dad used to do? Have you told her?"
“Yeah,” I swallowed. “Ang…she’s been through it too. Her exe…he was one sick sonofabitch."
"Wow! Really?" Angela gasped.
"Yeah really…and if she finds out I told you…" I trailed off.
"I won't say anything, but Cole? You need to be honest if you really like this girl."
"I know," I swallowed. "I think I might love her," I mumbled.
"Wow…I never thought I'd hear that come out of your mouth," I could hear her shuffling around. "So…why'd you really call? I know that you don't make calls out of the blue. What's bothering you?"
"I think I screwed up," I muttered. "She sent me a text today and blew me off."
"And?" Angela waited for the rest.
"And nothing. She said she wasn't feeling well. I think it might be girl code for something else," I sighed as I waited for my sister to impart some female wisdom.
“Maybe it means exactly what it says. Sometimes we need a night off Cole. Sometimes we’re just not sure how to tell our boyfriends that we need a break. We don’t want to hurt your fragile egos," her voice had a sarcastic tinge to it, and I knew she was rolling her eyes at me.
"I don't know. I just have this weird feeling that something's wrong," I grunted.
"Well," she mumbled. "You have two options…you can do what she asked and stay away, or you can go over to wherever she is and check on her. Just be prepared to have a door shut in your face. She might n
ot want you around right now, and you might end up picking a fight."
"Thanks…you're a big help," I grumbled.
"I'm just telling you how it is Big Brother," she laughed.
"Yeah, yeah," I mocked. "I gotta go."
"You're going over there, aren't you?" she teased.
"You know me so well," I chuckled. "I'll talk to later Ang. Thanks."
"For what?" she asked.
"For listening," I clicked the phone shut, and cranked the engine. I was going to go over to Maddie's and find out what the hell was going on.
ooooooooo
Maddie
I'm not sure how long I'd been sleeping, but the pounding on my door jarred me awake. I sat up in bed so fast that my head spun slightly. I had no idea who it could be, but as I climbed out of bed and made my way to the door visions of Richard being on the other side assailed me.
When I got to the door, I paused and took a deep breath before calling, "Who is it?"
"Cole!" his voice was muffled. "Are you ok?"
I shook my head slightly as I tried to steady my voice, "I'm fine."
“Can you open the door and tell me that?" he begged.
I knew that if I opened it, I'd lose what little control I had over my emotions at the moment. Cole would see right through the façade, and press me until I told him what was wrong. "I'm not feeling well. I don't want you to get sick," I lied.
“Maddie…” he paused and then I heard a slight thump as he let his head or fist, and I wasn't sure which, bump against the door. "I've had my tongue down your throat for the last four weeks. If I were going to get sick, I'd already be that way."
I closed my eyes and blew out a breath. He wasn’t going to take my excuses, and other than opening the door, and I saw no other way to get out of this aside from ignoring him. "Fine," I huffed as I began turning locks and stepping back to crack the door.
"What the hell!" he gasped as he moved closer. "You've been crying." It was a statement, not a question. "Why?"
"I told you!" I growled. "I don't feel well," I ground my teeth together. I watched his forehead crease and the frown lines appear as I began to tear into him. I knew he wouldn't go willingly, and I felt horrible, but it was the only way. "You know not everything has to be about you! Maybe I'm just tried and want, I don't know," I tossed my arms in the air, "a little break. Did you ever think of that?"
He stepped back as if I'd slapped him. "You don't mean that."
"How would know? Have you ever asked me?" I moved to push the door shut, but Cole placed the toe of his shoe in the doorway blocking me.
"I'm not leaving here until you tell me what's wrong," he crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at me. "This morning you were fine. What happened today to cause this?"
"Nothing," I grumbled.
"Stop lying to me!" he shouted as he leaned right into my face. He pushed the door open, and I stumbled back slightly gasping as I caught myself on the couch behind me.
Cole stood in the doorway with a look of horror on his face. "I'm sorry," he shook his head as he reached up and began tugging on his hair with both hands. "Oh god! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it," he scrambled in my direction and kneeled down in front of me as he reached for my hands. "Maddie," he swallowed. "I didn't mean it. You have to believe me."
It took my brain a minute to process exactly what had happened, but when it did, I yanked my hands from his. "Get out!" I pointed towards the door. "Get away from me! I don't want you to touch me! Leave!" I was screaming at this point as I began backing towards my bedroom.
Cole rose to his feet and slowly coward away from me. The strong, confident man I was so used to seeing was slowly turning into the scared little boy that had only made a few scarce appearances since we'd met. "Maddie?" he begged. "Please? I didn't mean it," his eyes teared up as he watched me retreat into myself.
All the progress we'd made was slowly evaporating right before his eyes, and I could see him finally accept his fate. He turned and shuffled towards the door as I stood there hugging myself. He'd done the one thing he swore he'd never do…he'd hurt me. In a matter of a few seconds, a few unplanned actions, he’d taken all the trust we’d built and blown it to smithereens. He’d taken me, and put me back in the same place that I'd been fighting to escape from for years. He'd become the one thing he vowed never to be...his father.
Chapter 22
Cole
It had been two days since Maddie had thrown me out of her apartment. I’d spent most of the night that night apologizing to her door. I don’t know if she was listening to me, but I was trying. Now, all I wanted to do was beat myself to a bloody pulp. As hard as I’d tried not to, I was turning into the one person I loathed…my dad. I swore when I got him out of my life all those years ago that I would do everything in my power to not become him, and now…that’s exactly who I was. I’d shoved my way into her apartment, and caused her to trip backwards. As much as it was an accident, I couldn’t forget the look on her face. She stared right through me that night as she screamed at me to leave. I couldn’t blame her. I would have reacted the same way, but the worst part…the worst part was I’d become her nightmare. It was tearing me up inside to think about how she saw me now. I’d been so worried about her finding out my secret that I’d turned into hers. That asshole, Richard, had been haunting her for years, and as soon as we had begun to turn the corner I put her right back there where it started. I knew I had to fix this, but I had no idea where even to begin.
ooooooooo
"Hey asshole? You actually going to work today, or do I need to hire someone else?" Wes called from across the gym.
“Bite me!” I grumbled back.
When I looked up, I noticed he was flipping me off so of course I did the mature thing and grabbed a roll of tape to throw it at him. He dodged it, grabbed his gloves, and came striding towards me.
"Come on," he motioned towards the ring. "You look like you need it."
"How would you know what I need?" I growled.
“Well let’s see,” he tapped his chin like he was thinking. “You’ve been walking around here like a lovesick teenager for the past two days. Maddie hasn’t been by, and you look like you’re ready to kill somebody if they look at you wrong. I’d say you need it more than ever right now."
"Fine," I grabbed the gloves he was holding out, and ripped my shirt over my head. I narrowed my eyes at Wes before warning him, "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit today. Clean fighting…that's what I want."
"Fine," he held his hands up. "I'm kinda scared of you right now anyway."
I glared at him waiting for him to explain further, but he didn't. Finally, I growled, "Why?"
“Because I haven’t seen you this conflicted in years. The last time I saw you spiral out of control was when your…”
"Don't you fucking say it," I pointed a gloved hand at him. "Just don't!"
"I won't," he backed away from me slightly as his eyes darted towards to the ring. "Come on."
Once I made it over there, I stepped through the ropes, popped my neck a few times, and did a few stretches. I bounced on my toes before turning to knock gloves with Wes.
"You ready?" he bent his elbow, ready to jab. When I popped my mouth guard in and nodded he sobered his face and commanded, "Hit me!"
"What?" it came out slightly muffled.
“You need this…now hit me!” he pushed my shoulder and then stepped back to brace for my blow.
I pulled back, and then brought my fist forward slamming it into his side. He shook it off, and then held up his hands to halt me. I watched for a minute curious to what he was doing, and then understanding dawned on me when he grabbed a pad. He nodded that he was ready once again, and I opened up on him. Punch after punch I went for his middle and face. Each time he lifted the pads to block me. All the anger I'd been holding onto since the incident with Maddie came rushing to the surface, and as hard as I tried to hold on I just couldn't. I felt like a pussy as my throat began to cons
trict. My chest tightened, and the pain surfaced as it slowly began suffocating me. Wes kept taking my assault, and every punch he blocked I threw that much harder.
“Come on…let it out!” he barked at me as I grunted. Sweat poured down my back and face mixing with the tears I'd be fighting to keep at bay. It was as if I'd opened the floodgates, and now I couldn't stop.
"I hate you, you bastard. Why'd you do this to me? You were supposed to love me! You turned me into you!" I screamed around the guard finally spitting it out, leaning forward, and placing my gloved fists on my knees. "He did this," I panted. "It's his fault that this happened."
"What happened?" Wes came over and gently placed his hand on my heavy shoulder. "What happened with Maddie, Cole?"
I glanced up at him and squeezed my eyes shut, “I hurt her. I hurt her bad. I turned into the same asshole as her exe.”
"What?" Wes shook his head and stood up straight. "I don't believe that."
"It's the truth. She won't even talk to me. It's been two days, and I can't get her to answer the door, or the phone. I don't know how to fix this," I sighed as I tossed the gloves to the side and reached for my water bottle.
“She’s gonna be at Vibe tonight," came a quiet voice from behind us. Wes and I both jerked our heads in the direction of the voice to see Erin standing there twisting a piece of hair around one of her fingers.
“How do you know that?" I murmured.
"She told me…at a meeting…her friend, Jo, isn't letting her out of it. They think she needs to get out," Erin shrugged.
"Are you going with her?" I lifted my arm to wipe the sweat off my brow.
"I told her I would meet her there. I came to invite you," she pointed to Wes. "Wanna come with me?"
Wes glanced at me and then back at Erin.
"Don't stay home on my account," I grumbled.
"You sure?" his forehead wrinkled with concern.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
"Sure, I'll go," Wes smiled at Erin then looked back at me, "What are you gonna do?"
Irreparably Broken (The Broken Series Book 1) Page 14
