by Cox, Suzanne
“When I’m around Eric it’s like I’m… I don’t know, held by some kind of force field. If I try to move away I feel something’s pulling me back.”
“A force field?”
“See, I knew you’d think I was being strange.”
“I don’t think you’re being strange. If you say you feel a force field then you do.”
I hugged the pillow tighter. “Maybe force field is the wrong word.”
“Maybe you feel drawn to him, like a strong attraction.”
“That’s it, I think anyway. Have you ever felt that with a guy?”
Brynna snorted. “No, and I’m wondering if the whole force field thing is worth you doing battle with Channing. I’m sure if you dated him, she’d do everything possible to make your life miserable.”
“Eric said the same thing. I guess you’re right.”
“I’m definitely right.”
“I’m not so worried about her making my life miserable. It’s just not something I’d ever feel right doing. What kind of person would I be if I dated him knowing she’d had a thing for him for a long time?”
Brynna stared at me so long without speaking my skin crawled. “What?”
“I didn’t really expect that from you.”
“Why? You think I’d do anything to get what I want?”
The red head nodded. “Pretty much, yeah.”
I shook my head. “That’s not me.”
Brynna gave a little snort. “Then what in the world are you doing trying to be friends with Channing?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but no words appeared, so I leaned further back against the mound of pillows.
Beside me there was movement underneath one of the pillows. I stared at it and waited, wondering if a rat could be hiding beneath. The tassels on the corners swayed, and the pillow fell over. I leapt up.
“There’s something under there.”
Brynna dug under the pillows and slid out an alien like creature, which was possibly a cat on another planet, like Venus.
“I’m guessing that’s a cat, but it appears to have been experimented on by aliens who forgot to put the hair back on it.”
“It is a cat, dummy, and it‘s not supposed to have hair. His name is Kurt, after one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut.”
I nodded and ran my hand over the cat’s soft fur, or maybe it was skin, or suede, which is what it felt like. I’d never heard of Kurt Vonnegut, likely not on the required reading list last year at my school.
From the hall I heard a tick ticking sound. Then the door I’d left cracked open swung wide and in barreled a ferociously barking miniature mass of dog. Beowulf bounded on top of the bed, circling Kurt as if he’d eat the cat for supper. Kurt wasn’t disturbed by the commotion at all. He lay on his side, waving his rat like tail in the air until I scooped up the dog and received immediate wet kisses on my neck.
Myles appeared in the door. “I’m supposed to tell you two to come help get the table ready so we can eat.”
We scrambled to follow Myles downstairs. As soon as I put Beowulf down he scratched off on the wood floor and raced ahead of us to take on any other challengers. Kurt padded along a safe distance behind, in no hurry, but not willing to be left in the room.
We made a pretty odd group, the ferocious dog that looked like a shrunken Doberman, the hairless cat with the crazy wicked eyes and the three of us, misfits really, if I was honest. I had learned the road to popularity was lined with people like Channing, not like these two. A piece of my consciousness reminded me that I wasn’t a likely candidate to line popularity row either. But, I’d figured out how to become a friend to those people, hadn’t I? What would Channing do if one of her friends got shipped off to the wilds of some far away state? I imagined it would be the same thing my Chicago friends had done, absolutely nothing. What would Brynna and Myles do if I was in trouble? I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be nothing.
***
At five-thirty Saturday evening I was nimbly climbing up the scaffolding I’d helped Louise arrange on the side of the house. The odd thing was I really didn’t mind… at all. We’d been doing exactly as Louise said, tackling the paint job bit by bit. We were almost half done, and I was happy to know if I needed extra money for college I could always find work as a house painter. I pried open the can and stirred the paint before dipping my brush in and getting to work. Louise had gone to the grocery store, but I had wanted to get started painting. The grocery store wasn’t much of a trip anyway.
I’d been working for half an hour when I heard footsteps. Expecting Louise, I nearly dropped my brush when Myles and Eric rounded the corner.
“Hey, we heard you were working and decided to help.” Myles called up to me.
“Where’d you see Louise?”
“She was coming in the grocery store when we were leaving.”
They both picked up extra paint brushes and buckets I’d left on the ground and were atop the scaffolding with me before I could tell them to be careful.
Myles put paint in his empty bucket and got started while Eric came over to fill his own bucket.
“This look suits you.”
I glanced at my paint spattered tank top and ratty cut-off jean shorts I’d found in the bottom of my suitcase.
“What are you talking about?”
“Just that dressed like this you seem more like it’s really you and not you trying to be someone else.”
He left me squatting there watching a line of paint run down the side of the bucket. I swiped at it with my brush then dunked the brush in the paint and attacked the wall. Myles and Eric talked about the softball game they’d played that morning, but I didn’t hear what they were saying. I really thought the dressed up popular girl was me, the new me, the girl I’d worked the entire past school year to become.
“I hear Louise. I’ll go help her with the groceries.” Myles said in the middle of Eric’s sentence.
“You’re only doing that to get out of helping paint more.” Eric shouted at him.
Myles laughed, but he was already on the ground. As he disappeared around the corner, Eric’s brush paused against the house.
“I made you mad.”
“I thought we weren’t going to do this.”
“Do what, paint or make each other mad?”
“I thought we weren’t going to see each other.”
Eric started painting again. “Myles wanted to come help you and I was staying at his house. What was I going to do, refuse to come?”
I stared at the wall I was halfheartedly swishing the paintbrush against. “You think I’m trying to be something I’m not.”
Eric stuck his brush in the paint and wiped the excess on the insides of the can before looking at me. “Yeah, I do. I’m not saying you’re wrong. We all like to try out different stuff. I’m saying that this you…” the waved he brush at me sending paint droplets flying. “It just suits you. Does that make sense?”
I stared at him, then unwillingly gave a soft laugh. “In some twisted way, yes, it does.”
He smiled. “Whew, that’s good. I didn’t know if I could explain it better.”
Turning back to his painting, he was quiet for a few minutes then he spoke again. “I saw Channing the other day. I tried to make it clear to her that I wasn’t interested in dating her.”
I stared at him. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope.”
“Did she accept that?”
He shrugged. “I think not. We’ll be better off doing things together like this.”
“So you want to help me paint this house rather than say… take me to a movie?”
“There’s no movie theater in Lebeaux.”
“Of course, house painting is a good option.”
He stopped painting but kept his eyes on the ground. “Right now, it’s the safest thing to do.”
I snorted. “Are you afraid of Channing?”
His paintbrush hit the wooden decking, and he was in front of me before I realized he’
d moved. He put a hand on each side of my face, forcing me to look at him.
“I’m not afraid of Channing, but I am scared of us, of me and you. I can’t imagine where what I feel might take us. That scares me.” He paused and took a deep breath. “There’s just too much you don’t understand.”
“So help me understand.”
“I can’t, not now.”
Neither of us moved or even seemed to breathe. Then Eric’s hands fell to his side. “I need more paint.”
He scrambled to the ground and opened another paint bucket as Myles trotted around the house and joined me at the top again. Eric was scared of what being with me might bring? The fact that he would say something like that scared me, even though I had no idea what he meant.
Chapter Sixteen
I had one week and a day left to ask Louise if I could spend the weekend with Channing in New Orleans. With the water spraying on my legs as I sprinted across the lake on the jet ski, I ran different reasons and excuses through my mind. Louise didn’t really trust Channing, so I wasn’t sure what it would take to convince her.
After an hour spent playing Bodinwa with Myles’ dad coaching, my muscles were nearly quivering with exhaustion. I’d learned that they played this strange ancient game against kids from other small home school groups, so it was like football or baseball for them. I never knew anything like that existed. Their home school network sounded much more organized than those I knew about in Chicago.
Ahead I spotted the pier by the day camp. Remembering the drink machine, I steered in that direction, lured by the thought of a cold bottled lemonade. I dug money from the daypack I’d stuffed in the storage compartment of the jet ski. Within minutes I was back on the pier swinging my feet in the water and sluicing down the drink. I was interrupted by footsteps on the pier. When I saw it was Eric approaching, I didn’t know whether to be excited or aggravated.
“Alexis, what are you doing here? Were you looking for me?”
I was aggravated. At myself. The closer he got the more liquid my bones became.
“Why would I be looking for you and if I were how would I know to come here?” I hoped my voice didn’t sound as strained to him as it did to me.
“I told you I was working on a construction site here with my dad.”
Yes, he had told me that, but I had forgotten. Unless possibly my subconscious had remembered the fact and sent me over here in search of something to drink, exposing myself to Eric’s force field without really planning it.
“I’d forgotten. I only came to get something to drink.”
He smiled that Hollywood smile, and I was hit again by the incredible magnetism he had.
“Guess it was wishful thinking for me. Mind if I sit?”
I wanted to say yes I mind, to run away, but my head shook from sided to side.
Eric sat on the pier next to me, swinging his feet in time with mine. “You know you’re special.”
He leaned in close when he said it, his breath fanning my cheek.
“We talked about this already, didn’t we?”
“I know we have. I know we both realize it’s for the best if we don’t see each other, except in a friendly way. But it’s hard, because it’s not what I want.”
I didn’t want to be breathless, but I was. “Channing has invited me to do things. She’s been a friend to me.”
Eric glanced at me doubtfully.
“She has been friendly, in her own way. She’s invited me to her house and to her parties.” I paused almost afraid to add what I was really thinking, but knowing I had to. “What about being scared?”
I watched him. I couldn’t help it. The evening breeze lifted the hair slightly from his forehead, and when he turned, his eyes were frighteningly blue. “Alexis, I respect how you’re trying to step back because of Channing. If I were in Channing’s place I’d hope that I had a friend as loyal as you. Even though I don’t think she deserves your loyalty… or your friendship. There are other things, things you don’t know.”
“So tell me.”
“It’s… well our parents, mine and Channing’s, would really like to see us together.”
“What!”
“I know, it sounds weird, but they’ve known each other for a long time, way before we ever came here.”
“So your parents wouldn’t like me or want us to be together.”
“It’s not like that. They just have their mind set on Channing and me together.”
So that was it then. His parents even wanted him and Channing to be together.
He caught my chin and turned me to face him. “Because they want that doesn’t mean it has to happen.”
When he paused I leaned closer to him without meaning to. It was the blueness of his eyes that pulled me down into their depths. I felt I might drown there. He spoke again. His voice was lower, heavier, and vibrated so thickly it seemed to touch my skin.
“If you or I think that either one of us can turn away from this and go our own way, it’s just not going to happen, Alexis. We both know it. It’s right here.” He waved his hand in the space between our bodies and the humid air seemed even warmer. “You and I… there’s something there. I feel it. So do you. I’ve tried to convince myself otherwise.” His hand lowered to cover mine as it rested on the wooden slat of the pier. “Scared? Yeah, I’m still scared, but I don’t know how to stop seeing you.”
The world around me became silent, held its breath, the crickets, frogs, birds, water, and even the wind. The sunlight faded in what seemed an instant. A shiver racked me. I understood what he meant about being scared. Shadows closed in on us. It was as though the future for us was closing in, and it was dark and ominous. I didn’t like it.
“I… I have to go.”
He nodded and leaned away as I leapt toward the jet ski and started it before I got the life vest completely fastened. Racing away, I finished the last clasp with one hand and pushed the machine for more speed, heading for the point of land jutting into the water. Once I rounded it Eric would be out of sight. I glanced back. The pier was empty, as was the path to the camp. He was gone, almost as if he’d never been there.
I didn’t hear the other jet ski, so when my ski lurched underneath me, it took me a minute to realize I’d been slammed from behind. A second wallop followed the first. Channing careened alongside throwing a heavy spray of water on me. I cut the wheel hard to avoid an impact, but still grazed the side of her ski. I went flying into the water, the kill switch yanking from the ignition as I sunk a few inches under the surface before my life vest popped me to the top. I scrambled in the water, trying to get back to my ski, afraid that Channing might mow me down while I was helpless in the water. The girl’s eyes glowed with anger. She positioned her jet ski between me and my ski, effectively cutting off my escape. I stopped, treading water, waiting for the blonde to make the next move.
“You were lying to me. I saw you with Eric on the pier by the camp.”
“I wasn’t lying. I was sitting by myself, and he came down on his own. I told him there could be nothing between us because you had liked him first.”
“It didn’t look like there was nothing between you two.”
I swallowed hard. This was the very thing I’d hoped to avoid.
Channing watched me for a moment, then nodded. “It doesn’t matter. I’m done with him. If you want him, he’s yours. You’re still going to New Orleans with us, right?”
For a moment I couldn’t speak, her turn around was so abrupt. Should I go to a strange city with someone who’d tried to run me over?
“I haven’t asked my aunt yet.”
“Well hurry up and do it.” Channing started her ski and took off, leaving me bobbing in her wake.
I wanted to go with them and get out of Lebeaux, even if it was only for a weekend. The swamp, the woods, the lake, all seemed to be closing in on me like a net slowly being pulled around me until I was trapped. I’d heard the stories of Channing and the girls having an unbelievable trip to
New Orleans. I’d see how Channing acted tomorrow then I’d decide. I pulled myself back onto my jet ski completely confused.
Inside the Branton’s boathouse I flipped on the lights to get the jet ski onto the lift where it was stored. I did the required clean up of the machine like Myles had shown me, then grabbed my bag from the storage compartment and raced through the door. The Branton’s house was dark. I scuffed my tennis shoe on a rock. I was hoping Mr. Branton would give me a lift home since it was nearly dark. I’d walked over, not willing to wait for Aunt Louise to finish her trip to the grocery store so she could bring me. I’d forgotten to ask Mr. Branton if he or Myles would be here later to take me home. They weren’t. Now I was in trouble. I’d quit carrying my cell phone because I never could get service here, so I couldn’t call Louise or anyone else.
I made one trip around the Brantons’ house to make sure all the doors were locked. They were. I gritted my teeth, briefly contemplating breaking a window to get inside and use the phone. With Louise’s constant warnings about being out after dark the skin on my back felt chilled even in the heat.
The trail from Louise’s to Channing’s was wide open with frequent houses. I could have followed it here and come on the four-wheeler, but I’d decided to come the short way, through the woods. That had meant coming on foot because the trial was… well, barely a trail at all. Myles dad called it a pig trail, but I didn’t really know what that meant, except that it was nothing more than a slight break in an endless maze of trees and swamp. I went to the edge of the yard where the path started, took a deep breath, and plunged forward.
Darkness made following the trail difficult. I had to keep my eyes glued to the ground so I wouldn’t’ get off course. Overhead a bird called, and I stopped short to search the tree limbs. What kind of bird made that sound? Bowing my head again to watch the ground, I started off only to make a misstep. I paused when I noticed that my surroundings were more unfamiliar than they should have been. Something wasn’t right. I stood still, swiveling my head in all directions. I wasn’t on the right trail. Groaning, I turned to backtrack and try to find where I’d gotten of course. I looked toward the moon wishing it was brighter. That’s when I noticed the crickets had stopped chirping. The noise had made it hard for me to sleep when I first came, but now I was so used to it I never noticed the racket, until it stopped. The air was strangely quiet without it. A crackling twig off to my right seemed amplified a thousand times in the silence. I started walking again, only faster. Right trail or wrong, I was too scared to go back. This path had to end up somewhere familiar, hopefully.
