by Cox, Suzanne
“We’re staying to eat with you, so I guess we better get down there.” Myles rolled on his side to look at me. “It should be ready soon. Or at least that’s what Louise said when we got here.”
“What?” Lost in my own thoughts, I’d missed whatever Myles had said.
“I’m trying to tell you that we should go down to eat now. What’s wrong? Are you having some kind of drug flashbacks?”
I straightened. “Do you think that’s possible? Do you think I might have permanently damaged my brain?”
He stared at me then slid to the edge of the bed and stood. “Absolutely, I imagine your life will never be the same. You’re changed forever.”
I balanced on my knees. “Really? Like how changed? What do you think will happen to me?”
I met his chocolate brown stare. He rubbed his chin and opened his mouth to speak, then stopped. Even the Beowulf, who’d taken up residence on the pillows beside me, looked at his owner expectantly. Then Myles grinned.
“Don’t be ridiculous, crazy girl. There’s nothing wrong with you that wasn’t wrong when you got here.”
With that, he spun and rushed to the door, laughing at my growl of frustration as the bear with the newly tied bow hit him in the back. I followed Myles down the stairs with Beowulf tapping along beside me.
That night as I snuggled under the covers, Beowulf jumped onto the bed and pawed and pushed his way underneath the sheet, made three circles then curled into a little ball next to my stomach. I laughed.
“Some tough guy you are.” I fingered the braided leather collar with tiny sea shells on it and realized that it wasn’t a dog collar at all but a necklace that matched the one Myles had worn that afternoon.
“Hmm… Maybe tomorrow we’ll paint your toe nails and see what Myles thinks of that.”
Beowulf licked my arm and curled back up. The dog didn’t seem to care about the polish, but I imagined Myles would have a fit when he saw it. The thought made me laugh.
Chapter Nineteen
“Myles is picking you up?”
I followed Louise, who was watering plants on the back deck. “Right, so you see, there’s no wild party going on. We’re going to cook and eat.”
She paused and the water stopped spewing from the end of the garden hose. “I’m supposed to believe there’s no party because Myles is going?”
“Well, you do don’t you? You think if Myles’ and Brynna’s parents let them go then it must be okay.”
“That’s not exactly what I think. But I do know if Myles and Brynna are there, someone will look out for your best interests.”
I stiffened. “I can look out for my own interests.”
“I agree that in time you will be able to do that, but right now you’re in a different place with different people and you might need a little help.” Louise squeezed the trigger on the nozzle and water spewed onto the unsuspecting flowers which wobbled under the onslaught.
“And you think Myles and Brynna are the ones to help me while Channing and her friends are out to ruin me.”
“Ruin is a bit harsh. I think they might confuse you on some issues.”
I tried to help a bent flower return to its normal state as Louise moved to the next pot. “Has anyone ever told you that you talk in complete riddles? I never understand what you mean. Confuse me how? Why am I so easily confused by others, but not Brynna or Myles?”
Louise sighed, walking to the spigot where she turned off the water and began winding the hose onto the rack where it stayed when not in use. I tagged along with her.
“Look, Alexis, I know Myles and Brynna better because I’ve been around them more. I trust how they’ll behave in certain situations. I don’t know Channing and her friends well. But so far, they haven’t done anything to impress me with their judgment. I don’t want you to end up in the middle of a mess you can’t get yourself out of.”
“I’m not some idiot, you know.”
Louise headed to the steps of the deck. She turned and motioned for me to follow her. She sat at the picnic table and I sat across from her, watching as she scratched at a stain on the wooden tabletop before finally looking at me.
“No, you’re not some idiot. I know that. You’re old enough to start being in control of yourself and taking responsibility for yourself. But you don’t understand how careful you have to be with drinking alcohol and especially with any drugs someone might try and get you to take.”
“I don’t do those things.”
“Really, so how do you explain that you can’t remember anything about the party you went to in New Orleans?”
“That’s different. My drink was spiked.”
“Those are the things you have to watch out for.” Louise tapped her finger on the table for emphasis.
“You’re doing the riddle thing again.”
Louise stared at me then started to laugh. “I guess you’re right. The point is you have some self control issues and if you don’t get a handle on them they’re going to get a handle on you.”
“Fine, point taken, though I don’t understand why everyone around here is so focused on self control, first Mr. Branton and now you. Sometimes you have to let go and have a good time.”
“I think all of us want to enjoy life as much as possible. Having fun and being in control are not exclusive of each other. For some people they really go together.”
“What makes you so sure I’m one of those people?”
Louise’s lips tightened and her eyes hardened. For a moment I was afraid I might have pushed her too far.
“I’m fairly certain I’m right about this, but it seems to me you’re determined to learn every lesson in life the hardest way possible, so I’ll mind my own business and let you figure your life out on your own.”
I opened my mouth to say “good” but no words came. A knot collected in the middle of my stomach. Would Louise really wash her hands of me and let me go my own way? The idea should have made me jump for joy, but at the moment my feet were secured tightly to the ground.
“I’m going to change before Myles gets here.”
I left the table. I was tired of arguing with Louise and especially tired of trying to understand what the woman meant when she talked in code. All this self control stuff gave me a migraine and I didn’t get migraines. I didn’t trust Channing or Jana and Celina after what had happened in New Orleans. Maybe I hadn’t trusted them before that. Something kept sending me back to Channing’s house. Maybe it was the hint of the unknown. I never knew what would happen there, but a part of me felt an overwhelming urge to be with them, the whole group of them, Channing and all her friends, no matter what.
I had changed for the second time when I heard Myles’ voice downstairs. I didn’t have time for another round of clothing changes, so I kept the mini skirt and short t- shirt that showed a flash of my stomach when I moved. I’d bought them both when we’d been shopping in New Orleans and while it was tame compared to what the other girls had bought, I knew my mom and probably Aunt Louise might think the skirt a bit too short. I’d been uncertain, but Vicki had reassured me it was perfect. Vicki was over twenty so surely she knew if it was okay to wear or not.
“Later, Aunt Louise.” I trotted to the door where Myles waited but Louise didn’t come in.
“Don’t be too late.” Louise shouted from the kitchen.
I glanced at Myles and shrugged. “I guess she’s not coming in here,” I whispered. “Good thing or I’d have to wait for you to go change clothes.” He hissed back.
“You think the skirt’s too short?” I tugged at the hem.
He raised an eyebrow.
“Should I change?”
“Just wear it and let’s go, okay.”
I made a face and rushed him out the door, running to hop in his Jeep. Myles followed more slowly.
“Would you hurry up before she thinks of something she forgot, like I need to be home by seven-thirty.”
“Do you want me to put the top up?” He pointed to
the canvas top rolled and secured at the back of the vehicle. I shook my head.
“It’s going to blow your hair.”
I rolled my eyes at him then turned to scan the back seat, grabbing a baseball hat from the floorboard. I jammed it on backwards, my black hair leaking from beneath it like a black sheet. Myles nodded and went to the driver’s side.
“Oh, and she didn’t give a time to come home. She said don’t be too late.”
“She didn’t tell you a time to bring me home?”
“Nope, don’t be so shocked. Maybe she thinks you and I will not be stupid and run around with our clothes off. Maybe she thinks you’ve learned your lesson. Or maybe she trusts me to bring you home, which makes sense to me since I’m bringing you home. Unless you know something I don’t.” Myles settled behind the wheel of the Jeep.
“I could meet a cute guy that I want to bring me home.”
He grinned. “Come on, be honest now. You can talk that game all you want, but you and I both know you’re not going to let some strange guy you’ve never met before bring you home. I also know that Eric is out of town and won’t be there. He’s the only other person I’d expect you to leave with.”
I tugged at the hem of my skirt, which was now much shorter than it seemed when I had been standing. I tried not to feel let down that Eric wasn’t going to be at Channing’s.
“Yeah, you’re right. I wouldn’t do it.” The Jeep’s engine rumbled loudly and I found myself shouting over the noise.
Myles shouted back. “I don’t imagine we’ll be late anyway. It’s three o’clock in the afternoon now and by ten if you haven’t had enough of Channing and that crew there’s something seriously wrong with you.”
“I thought you liked everyone that goes to the parties at her house.”
“I like parties as much as the next person, but you have to admit, that’s a load of trouble waiting to happen when they all get together.”
“Now you sound like my aunt or Brynna.”
“Maybe we can see things you can’t.”
“Why because I’m from the city?”
“No, because there are things you don’t know.”
“What things?”
Myles looked away from the road to frown at me. “Just stuff, it doesn’t matter, so forget it.”
He didn’t say anything else but gassed the Jeep so that we were at Channing’s before I could try to get out of him what he knew that I didn’t. It was probably some life lesson that they all lived by in their traveling commune.
***
Someone pulled at my arm and through my hazy vision Myles’ grinning face appeared.
“Ready to go?”
I nodded and squinted at my watch. It wasn’t nine o’clock yet, but surprisingly, I was ready to go. Night had barely fallen, yet this gathering had become more frenzied than the last party here. Several people were in the lake in their underwear. Others danced to the beat of frantic music that sounded like it had been born in the wilds of the jungle. Definitely not a group I had heard before. As much as I had frowned on Aunt Louise’s and Myles’ warning about Channing and her friends, I’d only drank unopened can drinks for fear of what someone might put in my cup. I couldn’t explain the haze that I was experiencing or the sweat that rolled off my body. My arms and legs ached. I wondered if I was really getting the flu this time. My skin crawled as though it would leap from my body. I needed to get away from here before something bad happened. I didn’t know what, but something was coming and the longer I stayed here, the sooner I’d see it. I knew I wouldn’t like it. Changed forever. That’s what Myles had said the drugs would do to me. Right now I didn’t think he’d been joking.
“I’m ready to go.”
He saw the fear, heard the panic in my voice. His smile evaporated. He pulled me to my feet, dragging me along to the Jeep. My skin burned beneath his fingers.
“What did you drink?”
“Nothing, I only had unopened soda.”
He stopped and smiled. “You can be a smart girl sometimes can’t you? But not smart enough. Did you eat the brownies for dessert?”
“Of course I ate the brownies, didn’t you? They were so good with that gooey fudge stuff in the middle.” I giggled.
“No, I didn’t eat them. They were probably laced with drugs.”
“Well, crap. They tricked me again.” I stumbled and laughed when I nearly fell. Myles tightened his grip on my arm as we crossed the thick grassy yard.
He stuffed me in the Jeep, reached over me to get the seatbelt, and latched it. I smiled and put my hand on the side of his face as he leaned across me. “You’re really too nice to me, Myles.”
He covered my hand with his and squeezed, then placed it in my lap. “Yes I am, aren’t I?”
Right, Myles had a serious girlfriend and here I was flirting with him, my only true friend. I looked at Myles from the corner of my eye as he climbed behind the wheel. I really didn’t want to mess up my friendship with him. I was starting to get tired of being embarrassed and doing ridiculous things. What was next? Dancing naked on the roof top? I giggled, even though I didn‘t really think it was very funny. In the driver’s seat Myles shook his head then pulled the baseball hat from the dashboard with one hand and situated it on my head to control the hair that was whipping into my face. At least the wind blowing helped clear my head.
“Where are we going?” I shouted as we passed Louise’s drive.
“We’ll ride until you get straight.”
I nodded and leaned back to look at the stars. Myles turned the Jeep in at the day camp and parked near the pier. Far across the lake I could make out the lights at Channing’s house. The faint screech of music reached us as we sat in the dark.
“Why do they do it, Myles?”
“Do what?”
“Trick people into taking drugs or drinking something that’s spiked with who knows what. Where I come from you offer it to a person and they take it or not. I have friends that might push if you say no, but they don’t sneak it to you.”
“Channing and her friends are different. They want you hyped up when they’re hyped up, no refusals allowed.” He paused. “You don’t really fit with Channing and her friends.”
My face tightened. “What makes you say that?”
“Come on Alexis, when you’re with them you don’t seem… I don’t know… natural.”
I covered my eyes with my hand. “Oh please, no more of the self discovery stuff, okay. I get enough of that from my aunt. I am Alexis Miller and that’s it. There’s nothing else to it. I know what I like to eat and the kinds of clothes I want to wear and the people I want to be around. Now do I really need to know more?”
He spun the Jeep up the hill and grinned at me. “Yeah, I think you do. But you’ll get around to it.”
“Well, you live in your little traveling commune with a lot of people you know. You have no idea what it’s like where I live, at my school. I had no friends, no life, nothing except my mom until I learned to be friends with people like Channing. Then everyone wanted to know me. Sure it has some pitfalls. I’ll admit it. But it’s still better than what I had before. Now that my mom’s remarried I don’t even have her, not like I used to.” I stopped, wishing I hadn’t quite spit out so much information, wishing the words I’d said didn’t make a knot in my throat. But they did. “Take me home, okay. I’m getting a headache.”
When he ground to a halt in front of my house I got out then looked back over the door as I closed it. “Thanks for taking me, Myles.”
He leaned across the passenger seat. “Anytime, and don’t be mad at me. We’re still friends right?”
“Yeah, we’re friends. I just don’t expect people my own age to try and play therapist with me.”
He shrugged. “I thought that’s what friends were supposed to do.”
I frowned at him for a few seconds, my hand rubbing the top of the door. “I guess, maybe, I haven’t had any real friends.”
“That’s what I�
�m thinking.”
I smiled at him before turning toward the house. “Later, Myles.” I called over my shoulder.
“Later, wild girl.” He shouted as I trotted up the steps. From the porch I watched him drive away. Neither my body nor my brain felt normal, the effects of the drugs no doubt. I was really getting irritated with Channing and the whole drugging people unknowingly thing. It was wrong, plain and simple. As I reached for the doorknob, I paused. What was that flash at the edge of the woods, a pair of glittering eyes in the trees? I shivered and tilted my head trying to get a better look. But whatever it was had gone, if it had even been there in the first place.
I found Louise still up watching television.
“You’re home earlier than I expected.”
I sat on the sofa. “See, I’m not such a bad girl.”
“I don’t think you’re a bad girl. I’m worried that something will happen to you while I’m supposed to be responsible for you.”
“You worry too much.”
Louise snorted. “I imagine I do. But hopefully I’ll get past it.”
“Good. You never know when my mom will decide to take off on another trip with her new husband and you’ll get stuck with me again.”
Crossing her arms in front of her, Louise sat quietly for a moment. “I won’t mind. I’ve enjoyed the company.”
I pulled my legs beneath me to sit Indian style. “Yeah, I guess it’s been better than I thought it would. It certainly hasn’t been boring. Sorry if I’ve given you a lot of trouble.”
“No, it hasn’t been boring and remember, it isn’t over yet. There’s no telling what will happen before your mom gets back.”
“Now that’s kind of scary.”
Louise smiled. “It is, isn’t it? Oh, and I hope you didn’t sit like that at the party because your skirts entirely too short for it. I believe it’s really too short, period.”
I stood up and stared down at the skirt. “You know what, I think you’re right, Aunt Louise. It’s ridiculously short.”
Louise turned her attention back to the television. “Yep, ridiculously.”
