Without saying another word, I lugged my suitcase out the front door and threw it in the trunk of my car. I glanced back up at the doorway, noticing my mom standing there watching me. Starting my ignition, I pulled away.
I shut off my phone and tossed it into my purse sitting in the passenger seat after hitting ignore for the twenty-second time. The calls were growing more and more painful with each one. If Dalton’s phone wasn’t lighting up my screen, it was my mom’s. I knew my mom would eventually GPS my phone and find out where I was, but I didn't care. The only people who knew where I was headed were the only people I trusted, and neither of my incessant callers was on that list; they'd both betrayed me.
My hair flapped in the wind coming through my open sunroof as my favorite playlist flowed through my car speakers. I yawned, turning up the radio. I'd been on the road for hours, but that was nothing a few energy drinks couldn't fix. I'd already downed two and I had a few more in my backseat. I wasn't planning on stopping. I was driving straight through, and surprisingly, it was beginning to relax me. In forty years, I could've seen myself describing this as a soul-searching drive.
Samantha (yes, I named my GPS) was barking orders at me to merge into the right lane and I switched lanes. Samantha pissed me off sometimes when she'd lead me down one-way streets and sketchy alleyways, but she always had my back when it mattered. I cruised past a sign letting me know I was just a few miles away from my destination.
The streets were dead but it was early. The sun was beginning to rise, and I admired the soft hues from my windshield. I turned down my music, listening to Samantha tell me the last few directions. I made a few turns before swerving into a congested parking lot and pulling into the only open spot I could find near the back.
I blew out a breath, grabbing my energy drinks and tossing them alongside my phone in my bag before hitting the button to open my trunk. I grunted as I dragged my bag out. Pulling out the handle, I grabbed it and strolled toward the front door. Following the directions I'd been given, I walked down the desolate hallway and knocked.
The door swung open, like he was waiting for me. "Welcome to Miami, babe."
EXCERPT FROM
If you enjoyed Keegan and Daisy in this book, enjoy this teaser from their story.
I JUMPED at the sound of the second gunshot, smacking my head on the top of the wooden desk. Covering my head with trembling hands, I tried to block out the noise, but the shots grew more erratic. They were close. I knew it because the screams were so clear. How was this happening? Things like this didn’t happen in our small town.
My heart thumped against my chest so hard that I was waiting for it to burst out and land on the dingy linoleum floor in front of me. I glanced to the girl next to me, crawled into a ball with tears streaming down her face while her body rocked back and forth. Were we going to be next?
Holding in a deep breath, I slowly stretched my arms above me and reached around until I felt the rough leather of my purse strap. I dragged it down and ignored the items flying out as it bounced on the floor. My hands frantically searched through the contents for my phone and when I found it, I kept hitting his name until I heard the ringing come alive on the other end. I had to talk to him. I needed to hear his voice and be sure the screams weren’t his.
HIGH SCHOOL Shooting Kills Twenty Students And Teacher.
Those words were on the headline of every news channel, website, and newspaper until the shock value wore off and some celebrity got busted banging his nanny.
Those eight life-ruining words.
My brain processed them over and over again but my heart tossed them out to the birds. That one small sentence signified the dead end to my road of happiness. It shattered every ounce of hope built up in my heart, then stabbed it a few more times for good measure.
The most important person in my life had been ripped away from me by selfishness and pride. Rodney Avila. I would remember the name until I took my last breath. He was upset his girlfriend broke up with him. Out of spite and pure insanity, he decided to take his dad’s pistol with him to school. Heading directly to his ex’s first period class, he shot her and everyone else in the classroom. His homicidal spree ended with him turning the gun on himself, which was smart on his part, because if the spineless bastard were still alive, I would’ve taken it upon myself to kill him.
I blinked, fixing my eyes on the daunting building looming just yards away from me. My body shivered as the frigid raindrops showered down my body, soaking my dress and causing it to cling to me like a second skin. The weather had matched my mood impeccably: gloomy, cold and depressed. My hair I spent hours on earlier was now a sopping mess plastered to each side of my face. I couldn’t see it, but I was certain the black mascara my trembling hands had applied earlier was now running down my face alongside the never-ending tears, leaving streaks down my stinging cheeks.
Bodies veiled in black passed by my stationary body, heading towards the very place I was trying to avoid. A few bumped into me, but I was too numb to be affected. My body didn’t belong to me at the moment. The scrawny legs connected to my torso felt like they were glued to the slippery pavement beneath me. Out of habit, I reached up and caressed the tiny pendent dangling around my neck for what seemed like the millionth time that day. My icy hands moved back and forth around the chain sluggishly, letting the noise of the storm drown out the faint voices passing by.
I knew what everyone wanted, and it wasn’t going to happen.
I couldn’t do it and I wouldn’t do it.
They wanted me to come in from the downpour and see him. My eyes fluttered shut, deflecting the heavy drops as I inhaled the strong scent of rain surrounding me. If I did what they wanted, if I stepped through those brooding doors, I would have to say goodbye to the person who still owned my heart.
I swiped a falling tear off my face. This wasn’t supposed to happen until we were grey and old. It wasn’t his time and I damn sure wasn’t ready to let him go.
Chilly fingers wrapped around my arm and broke me away from my trance. My entire body flinched, pulling away from the source and I looked at the culprit standing in front of me. She was gripping a bright red umbrella in one hand and her mouth was open wide, screaming at me.
“Please listen to me!” she shouted, begging. “GO SEE HIM!” My best friend, Tessa screamed. “You will regret this the rest of your life if you don’t do this, Daisy! Please just do it!” Her lanky hand kept reaching out for me, but I kept up my childish game of pulling away. Being dragged across the pavement facedown sounded better than coming to terms with the fact that I would never be waking up from the nightmare that had now become my real life.
My lips parted, but my mouth was incapable of forming words. I stood there staring at her while her begging grew more frantic in an effort to gain my attention. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a larger pair of hands grabbed me by my waist firmly, hoisting me into their strong set of arms. “Let go of me!” I wailed, kicking my feet against him but gaining no advantage. The rain poured down on us faster and my eyes widened at the realization of where we were headed.
No.
Hell no.
I screamed, kicked and punched with all my will. Nothing. The more I fought back, the faster his pace picked up until finally my body quit producing the energy to fight. Whimpering, I laid limp in his arms, ready to give in to the inevitable. Warm air hit my face first and I twisted around, burying it in the crook of his neck to hide from the curious looks coming my way. I didn’t look up until I heard the loud creak of a door opening and suddenly, I was being tossed onto a cold couch in the corner of a dusty room.
“Get your head out of your fucking ass,” a dripping, wet Dawson sneered over my shaking body. His black suit was wrinkled and soaked to his body.
I winced at his words but it helped loosen the tongue that had been tied for days. Sure, the person standing in front of me might have been my dead boyfriend’s best friend, but his hurt could never match mine.
“Scre
w you, Dawson!” I cried out, struggling to control the shakiness in my voice. “Don’t you even dare try to tell me what the hell I should do!” I tugged on my frizzy locks, pulling them together and sliding my hands down them roughly to wring out the water.
“Well, shit Daisy,” he yelled back, bringing out both hands and gesturing towards me. “Someone needs to say something. You’re about to miss the entire funeral because you’re being fucking selfish!” He paced back in forth in front of me. “How do you think Tanner would feel about how you’re acting?” He stopped, mid-stride, narrowing his chestnut-colored eyes at me. My heart dropped at his name but I knew Tanner would understand my reluctance. The man I was in love with would’ve grasped my hesitation, aware of how hard it would be for me to see him like that.
Dead.
In a casket.
That wasn’t the last image I wanted to remember of him. I wanted to treasure our last goodbye- when he kissed me in the hallway and told me how much he loved me.
I snapped, jumping to my feet and leaving a wet spot on the couch behind me. “Don’t try to tell me how Tanner would feel,” I replied, my voice harsh. “I’ve known him my entire life. Since the day I was born!” I paused, swiping away the soggy hair falling in my eyes. “You’ve known him for what?” I stopped, waiting for him to answer my question, but he remained silent. “Four years,” I shouted, answering my own question. “So you can shut the hell up!” A shaky finger stabbed him in the chest at my last words.
My emotions had been on overdrive since everything had happened. Not one word I had said processed through my brain before I allowed them to leap straight out of my mouth into the open. It was a low blow. Everyone, myself included, knew that Tanner loved Dawson like a brother. They were best friends and I was a shitty person to devalue their friendship.
My chest heaved in and out, my breathing growing shallower. Dawson and I stood face-to-face, having a stare down, neither of us making a move or spewing out words in our defense. He was the first to give up at the exact moment his eyes began to glaze over. Shaking his head, he threw up his hands in defeat and shuffled backwards away from me. “Wow,” was the only thing that came out of his mouth, but it was enough to let me know I stepped over the line and his patience with me had been extinguished. He whipped around, opening up the creaky door and slamming it shut behind him.
Regret crashed through me and I belatedly took in what had just happened. My legs gave out, and I collapsed onto the carpeted floor. My body tensed up at the feeling of a warm body beside me, wrapping me in their arms. I shook my head in embarrassment and she pulled me into her arms tighter while we both attempted to let our hurt out together.
I cried for the person I lost. I cried for his family and my best friend beside me who lost her twin brother. I cried for the other families who lost a child, a brother or a friend in the shooting. I was certain my tear ducts were close to falling out from excessive flooding.
“I miss him, too,” the girl I had been inseparable from my entire life whispered gently into my ear. “We’ll get through this together.”
A soft knock came from the other side of the door and before I had a chance to tell the person to go away, the door crept open. My mom appeared in the doorway and shut it behind her. The first thing I noticed was how her red, puffy face fell when she took in the scene before her. Her knuckles flinched, clutching the tissues that were balled up in her hand as she let out a light whimper.
Tessa was the first to get up, reaching her hand out for me to grab. Running my hands down the length of my dress, I tried to get rid of the wrinkles, but it didn’t help. The dress was ruined, but I didn’t care. It had a scheduled meeting with my fireplace as soon as I got home.
The sound of my mom clearing her throat broke the uncomfortable silence. “Sweetie,” she said, gently, looking straight at me. “They’re getting ready to start the service.” My eyes immediately dropped to my shaking hands, studying the chipped pink nail polish on my fingernails. I gave her a slow nod. Nodding and shaking my head had become my regular form of communication since that day. I had practically become a mute with the exception of the bitchy outburst I just gave Dawson.
“Okay,” I mumbled, drawing the word out. “Can you two just give me a minute alone, please?”
“Of course,” my mom answered, squeezing out a fake smile. “But you only have a few minutes.” Turning around, she left the room and Tessa followed her, stopping briefly to squeeze my hand before closing the door.
With the room empty, I stumbled back towards the couch, sinking into the hard cushions. My fingers were still shaking as I fished out the now slightly damp, folded paper in the pocket of my jacket. I swallowed the nausea creeping its way up my throat and carefully unfolded the note.
Tanner,
This is the best way I knew to tell you goodbye. I hope that’s okay with you. I remember you always loved the letters and notes I would write you during our free periods. I even decorated the corners with the tiny hearts like I did in middle school. I wanted you to be the only person who heard my goodbye; not all those people sitting in the room next to me. This is our goodbye – just for the two of us.
I have spent all of today missing you and I know that’s how I’ll spend tomorrow and the next and the next. I don’t know how I am going to get through everything without you by my side. I’ve never had to do anything without you and I’m terrified. I’m scared, god, I’m so scared. All of our plans, our dreams, have been ripped into shreds and thrown into a blazing fire.
I can’t stop thinking about all of those talks we used to have laying face down and holding each other’s hands. Our huge wedding in your parent’s backyard before our honeymoon in Tahiti and our future kids we were suppose to have. You know that would have been a handful, but you would have been an amazing father. And husband. We would have had a great together.
Everyone keeps telling me I’m going to have to move on with my life but I have no idea how to even start. I remember when I first told you I loved you and you said, “there’s no taking it back.” I never actually thought about how much those words meant to me until this very moment. I will never take it back. You will always have my heart.
I’m sorry. I am so sorry and if I could take it back I would. I cannot wait until I see your smiling face and we meet again.
I love you,
Daisy
The words grew blurry as I dragged my finger across the paper, and quickly folded it back in its square before securing it back in my pocket. The heels of my shoes sunk into the carpet as I lifted myself up and tried to mentally prepare myself for what was about to happen.
I was seventeen years old and I was going to say goodbye to the love of my life. I’d been shattered to pieces and I knew the shards would never fit back in the same mold. But that wasn’t the worst part, no. I didn't pull the trigger but I could've stopped the bullet from hitting him.
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A giant thank you to the readers. None of this would be possible without all of you. Every message, comment or review I receive makes my day. You truly are amazing. To Emily Tippetts:), for not only creating the amazing cover and formatting, but for all of the help and valuable information you’ve provided me about the self-publishing world. Hot Tree Editing for their brilliant editing work. Last but definitely not least, to my family, who understand the missed phone calls and when I can’t spend time with them because I’m crouched in front of my computer typing away. To my future hubby, without his support I probably would’ve never finished my first novel. Thank you for your patience when I was behind on laundry and when we were having pizza again for dinner.
Charity Ferrell was born and raised in Indianapolis, Indiana and still resides there with her future hubby and four legged, furry children. When she’s not writing, you can find her reading, caving into her online shopping addiction or spending time with her family.
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2014 By Charity Ferrell. All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Excerpt from Beneath Our Faults Copyright © 2014 By Charity Ferrell
Editing By: Hot Tree Edits
Cover Design & Formatting By: E.M. Tippetts Book Designs
Table of Contents
TITLE PAGE
BOOKS BY CHARITY FERRELL
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
Karma Page 24
