“It’s not that bad,” he says stoutly but then places a hand on her shoulder. “Is it?”
“Keith hasn’t had paying work since Samhain. We’ve no land to farm, even if potatoes would grow. We’ve got to make a decision soon.”
A bit later, when he heads home alone, having left the baby with Niamh for now, he wonders how much longer they can go on as they are. Something has to shift soon.
Moonbeams appeared and disappeared with the shifting of the clouds, blending with the lamplight on the desk. Nora bent with her nose almost touching the pages as her pen scrabbled furiously, recording her latest dream. She closed her eyes, trying to hold onto it—dark, pitch-black darkness. And wet. Water everywhere. And still the crying. No more laughter, only the crying and screams in the dark.
“What are you doing?”
She jumped at Briana’s voice behind her. “Nothing.” She splayed her hands to cover the page.
Briana rubbed her eyes. “It’s the middle of the night.” She laid a hand on Nora’s shoulder. “Come back to bed.”
Nora shook her hand off impatiently. “Not just yet. I need to finish this.”
“What do you need to finish?”
“It’s none of your business!” Nora snapped.
Briana withdrew her hand. A moment later, Nora heard footsteps on the stairs. A niggling voice in the back of her mind said, you hurt her feelings.
“I’ll apologize later,” she muttered, bending back over her page.
Though she was anxious to be done for the day, Briana stepped back and took a deep breath. Her anxiety was transmitting itself to her work, which right now was the training of the yearlings. Tim in particular was becoming more boisterous and harder to work with, requiring greater patience on her part to train him and keep him thinking this was fun. She was grateful Quinn had had the colts gelded in the spring or this would be even harder.
“Come on now, you little git,” she crooned when he tossed his head to avoid accepting the bridle and taking a bit.
Prepared for this, Bri warmed the metal bit in her hands and then smeared a little honey on it. This time, he accepted it readily, his tongue working to get all the honey off as she slipped the bridle over his ears and fastened the straps.
“See?” She rubbed and patted him. “Nothing to be afraid of.”
She led him by the reins around and around the paddock before slipping the bridle off and on again a few times, until he accepted it without honey.
“All right,” she said, taking it off for the last time at the gate to a larger field and giving him a little slap on the rump. “Go play.”
He galloped off, his tail high, to join the other yearlings in a race across the pasture.
She trotted to the barn to clean the bridle and hang it up before going in search of Quinn. She found him in his cluttered office, Dilly curled up under his chair.
“Done for the day,” she said.
He glanced up from the computer. “Off to Dublin?”
“Yeah.” She scuffed her heel against the wooden floorboard.
He sat back in his chair. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.”
He reached for a stack of papers sitting on the only other chair in the cramped space. “Have a seat, squint.”
She dropped into the chair. Dilly wriggled out from under Quinn’s chair to jump up and place his paws on her knees. She scratched his ears.
“What’s up?” Quinn asked. When she didn’t answer, he said, “I didn’t see Nora leaving here this morning, but your windscreen had dew all over it, so I’m guessing you stayed here alone last night.”
He did her the favor of doodling on a scrap of paper so that he wasn’t looking directly at her. She likewise kept her gaze trained on Dilly’s soft brown eyes, half-closed as she continued to rub his ears.
“As you know, we’ve been alternating nights at her cottage or here,” she began, feeling foolish for having this conversation with her boss. She realized she rarely thought of Quinn as her boss. “But for the last couple of nights, she hasn’t wanted to leave that damned cottage. And I don’t like to be away from here too many nights. I know you like to have someone about in case something happens.”
He gave an impatient wave. “That’s the least of my worries. Did you have a quarrel?”
“No.” Dilly dropped to all fours, and Bri leaned down to continue rubbing him. “We’ve been good. She cooked dinner a couple of nights ago, and we made plans for Dublin. Everything was good. Then the next night, she didn’t want to come here. So I stayed there again, but last night, I had to come back to my place. She wouldn’t come with me.”
She kept her eyes downcast but could feel Quinn studying her.
“And no disagreements or arguments? Any bad news from home?”
“No.” Briana tried to think if she’d missed anything, but she’d been thinking hard ever since this started. “She had a funny spell in the kitchen that night, like she was going to pass out or something, but then she seemed fine. Other than that…”
“Only…” Quinn hesitated. “Sheila called me. Nora didn’t come to work at the nursery today, so we thought maybe something happened between you.”
Briana sat up at that. “She didn’t go to work? But why? That makes no sense.”
Quinn shrugged. “No idea.”
She stood. “I’d better get over there.”
He nodded. “Let us know if there’s anything we can do.”
She hurried to her cottage to pack a bag for the weekend. Shannon was already waiting at the SUV when she emerged. They both got in, and she hurled down the road to Sióg Cottage, her mind a whirl as to what was going on.
She racked her brain, trying again to think if she could have done or said anything to upset Nora, but she couldn’t think of a thing. Maybe the bit about not going rambling to the southwest counties, but Nora hadn’t acted as if she was upset about that. But that was the night she’d awakened to find Nora downstairs, writing feverishly and as snappish as a mare in season. Part of Briana wondered why she was putting up with this. She never would have before.
Then Wednesday, the last night Briana had spent at Sióg Cottage, Nora had been unusually restless, tossing and whimpering in her sleep for what felt like hours. At one point, Briana had actually shaken her to wake her. Nora had moved into her arms, burrowing in for comfort. The next morning, Nora hadn’t remembered any of that.
When Briana had asked about coming by to pick Nora up to take her back to her cottage at the stables on Thursday, Nora had irritably said she didn’t want to stay at Bri’s place that night.
“I have things I need to do,” she’d said. Her abrupt tone stung, and the hurt must have shown in Briana’s face because Nora said in a more conciliatory tone, “A night apart won’t do us any harm.”
That much was true, Briana had to admit. There was such a thing as too much togetherness. It was just such a sudden change from the way Nora had been—the way they had been together—just a week ago.
Her worries only multiplied when she arrived at the cottage to find Nora outside, digging in the flowers. She looked up in surprise when Briana and Shannon got out of the car.
“What are you doing?” Briana asked.
“Weeding. What are you doing here?”
Briana stared at her for a second. “It’s Friday. We’re meant to be going to Dublin tonight.”
“Oh.” The blank look on Nora’s face indicated she’d completely forgotten. “I’m sorry, but—”
“Kieran’s expecting us,” Briana said, squatting down next to her. “He’ll be really disappointed if we cancel now.”
Nora brushed back a strand of hair from her forehead, leaving a streak of dirt. “But you could—”
“He’s expecting both of us. He invited you especially. And my mum as well.” Briana sensed she needed to handle this carefully and hoped the gentle application of guilt would help. Feeling as if she were treading on very thin ice, she took Nora’s elbow. “Come get cleane
d up and packed, and we’ll be on our way.”
Nora let herself be helped to her feet. Bri guided her inside and up the stairs, into the bathroom, while Briana went to the front bedroom to get Nora’s smaller suitcase from the closet. She immediately saw from the unmade bed that she’d slept in this room last night.
Shannon whined and paced nervously out in the hall, peering into the room. Briana looked over her shoulder and imagined she felt a malevolent chill emanating from the corner.
“You’ll not get her,” she said to the empty room.
Chapter 15
Music, faint and beautiful—fiddles and pipes and guitars—joined with voices singing songs of longing, songs of home. Slowly, as if she were emerging from a fog, Nora became more aware of the music, the hum of tires on pavement. She blinked and looked around to see Shannon’s huge head resting on her shoulder. Briana was behind the wheel, and they clearly weren’t in Cong.
“Where are we?”
Briana’s face was pinched, hard. Her hands gripped the wheel tightly. “We’re on our way to Dublin. Don’t you remember?”
Nora leaned back against the headrest, her eyes closed as she tried to do just that. It was like waking from a dream. Or was this the dream?
Briana pointed to a cup in the holder. “Coffee. Drink.”
Nora took the cup and inhaled. Strong and black. The first sip was like life itself seeping back into her. She drank, and Briana’s hands unclenched a little.
Shannon gave Nora’s cheek a little lick and then stretched out across the back seat.
Nora felt foolish as she asked, “We’re really on our way to Dublin?”
“Yes. Monday night you made the chili, and I brought you a drawing from Kieran, asking us to come. We promised when we were there, and he is holding us to our promise. We agreed to go this weekend.”
Her tone sounded as if she was forcing herself to patiently explain something very simple to someone very dense.
Nora closed her eyes again. She remembered that day, but it seemed weeks ago. “What day is today?”
“Friday. That was just Monday of this week. What’s going on, Nora?”
The setting sun behind them threw long shadows onto the highway ahead. The tires’ hum was hypnotic in its own way. She drank more coffee, trying to clear the fog in her mind.
“I’m not sure,” she said at last. “If this is Friday, these last few days have been a blur.” She turned to Briana. “I don’t remember you being around. Much.”
“That would be because you haven’t wanted me around.”
The quiet of her voice contrasted with the way her hands were once again strangling the steering wheel.
Nora was almost afraid to ask. “What do you mean?”
Briana glanced over again, an expression of disbelief on her face. “You. Waking in the middle of the night to spend hours writing, basically telling me to shove off when I came to bring you back to bed. Refusing to leave the cottage to come stay with me. Telling me we don’t need to spend every night together. Not even showing up to work today. Look, if you don’t want to be with me, I wish you’d just say so.”
Nora gaped at her. “Wait. What do you mean, I didn’t show up at work today?”
“It’s Friday. Sheila was expecting you. No word. You just didn’t show. She was worried. She and Quinn thought maybe we’d had a fight, but I didn’t know anything about it. I looked a right git when Quinn asked me.”
Nora sat, stunned. How could she just not show up for work? She had vague memories of Briana coming to her, but…
“What is going on, Nora?” Briana repeated, her voice tight. “Before we have to spend the weekend pretending around my family, you’ve got to tell me.”
Nora reached over to lay her hand on Briana’s arm, but Bri didn’t relinquish her hold on the wheel to take Nora’s hand. Nora withdrew, shifting closer to the door.
“I honestly don’t know.”
“What do you mean? How can you not know?”
Sudden tears stung Nora’s eyes. What the hell is wrong with you? She turned to look out the passenger window.
Briana startled her by reaching over to lay her hand on Nora’s thigh. Nora stared at it for a moment before taking it, squeezing tightly.
“The dreams have shifted again.”
“In what way?”
“They’re dark.”
Briana frowned. “You mean scary? Dangerous?”
“No. Yes.” Nora closed her eyes again, trying to recall. “It is scary and dangerous. But it’s literally dark. Pitch black. And wet. I’m trapped somewhere dark and wet.”
“You were crying in your sleep the last night I spent with you.”
Nora opened her eyes and looked at Briana. “I was?”
Bri nodded. “I held you until you went back to sleep, but you didn’t seem to remember the next morning.” She glanced over. “Don’t you recall any of this?”
Nora shook her head. “I don’t.”
She raised Briana’s hand to her lips, then pressed her cheek to it for a long moment. “I’m sorry.”
Briana’s gaze flicked back and forth between Nora and the road. “So you’re not wanting to break up with me?”
Nora gave a strangled laugh. “No. I do not want to break up with you.” She took a deep breath, like someone gasping for air after being trapped underwater. “I’m glad to be with you, and I’m looking forward to spending the weekend with your family.”
Briana sighed. Nora was relieved to see her face relax into a smile. But inside, she was still scrambling, trying to recollect the last few days, days that, to her, felt as if they’d been spent in another time, with people long dead.
Briana sat cross-legged in a chair with a cup of coffee, watching Kieran trying to teach Nora how to play his favorite video game. She was hopeless, but Bri suspected she was playing badly on purpose.
Cara and Dennis were busy in the kitchen, frying up eggs and bacon. The kitchen was too tiny for a third person, so Briana was supervising the gaming. Cara caught her eye and smiled. She’d had the guest room prepared for them when they arrived last night, not even asking if Briana would be sharing with Nora. Briana found that mildly irritating and kind of endearing at the same time.
Not that sleeping in the same bed had amounted to anything they needed to hide. After a quick kiss good night, Nora had fallen asleep holding Bri’s hand, and she slept like the dead, something Briana suspected she hadn’t done in a long time.
She got up to refill her coffee. Dennis took advantage of her presence to duck out of the kitchen and go join the video gaming.
“Sleep well?” Cara asked innocently.
Briana gave her sister a mocking smile. “Fine. Very subtle, that. Putting us together in the guest room.”
Cara shrugged. “It was that or you take the sofa. Figured you’d rather share a bed.” Her wicked grin belied her attempt at being considerate, but the grin faded as she looked more closely at Bri. “What’s wrong?”
Briana twitched a shoulder, as if ridding herself of an annoying fly. “Nothing.” She pointed to the toaster. “Want me to get some bread going?”
Cara opened her mouth to argue the point, but Briana turned her back and busied herself with the toast, so Cara let it drop.
By the time they were finishing breakfast, the grandparents had arrived. Briana introduced Nora to her dad, Bill.
He shook Nora’s hand and then scooped Kieran up into his arms. “All set, little man?”
They took two cars to the zoo, Kieran dragging Nora to sit beside him while Briana rode with her parents.
“She’s such a lovely girl,” Victoria said. “I’m so glad you both made it back before she leaves to go home to America.”
“How much longer is she here?” Bill asked, eyeing Briana in the rearview mirror.
Briana had to think for a moment. “Three more weeks.”
That realization hit her like a splash of cold water. Less than a month left. Somehow the world beyond August loome
d like a shapeless void.
Once they were at the zoo, Kieran could barely contain himself as he dragged Nora and Briana with him along the paths. Nora was like her old self—laughing, catching Bri’s eye and giving her secret smiles, taking her hand for brief squeezes.
Briana stood near the gorilla rainforest, watching Nora talking with Cara, and she remembered their conversation at the pub during Nora’s first visit to Dublin, the night she’d told Nora she was like a boggart. In the weeks since then, Briana had felt she was getting to know the real Nora, the one she’d speculated about that night.
Watching her now, it was as if the strangeness of the past week had vanished, leaving Briana to wonder if she’d imagined Nora’s odd, moody behavior. But she also wondered if Nora was becoming a boggart again.
Nora lay staring at the ceiling. Beside her, Briana was breathing deeply. The house was quiet. She knew Dennis and Bill would have left early for their Sunday golf game, while Cara and Kieran picked up Victoria to go to Mass. They’d be back here soon for a late breakfast, and then she and Briana would be on their way home to Cong.
Home to Cong.
Could it be that simple? She turned her head. A ray of sunshine wriggled between the curtain panels, striking Briana’s hair, turning it to copper. Her face in sleep was relaxed, almost childlike. None of the pinching and worry that had been there lately.
Worry you caused, she reminded herself.
She felt like a woman coming back to health after a long illness. Those last few days at the cottage were a blur. It mortified her that she hadn’t shown for work on Friday, and she’d not yet had a chance to apologize to Sheila. She needed to do that first thing when they got back. This evening. It couldn’t even wait until tomorrow morning.
She rubbed her eyes, trying to remember just why she’d been so reluctant to leave the cottage, but here, so far away, even that strange compulsion felt dream-like.
She turned on her side, one hand lightly resting against Briana’s arm, enjoying the warmth, and let herself drift off into sleep once more.
A Bittersweet Garden Page 21
