“Yeah, well,” I said, not wanting to have this conversation. I hated how she used Chris’s death to try and make a point. It was a low blow that hurt and made all those awful, uncomfortable, self-deprecating thoughts fill my head.
It took a long time, and several therapy sessions, to finally be able to look at myself in the mirror after his death. I knew it wasn’t good to hide from your emotions, but I didn’t like thinking about Chris, and I sure as hell didn’t like talking about him. It was a reminder of my biggest fuck up and how easily life can change.
Maybe Mom was right though.
“Halina, leave her alone,” Dad said, and I flashed him a quick smile of gratitude. “She is a cop, and a damn good one at that. You need to accept that she and Malaya are two different people, with different personalities and different ideas for their lives.”
“I just don’t understand why she has to put herself in danger, that’s all.”
Dad shrugged. “Part of the job. You know that.”
“I know. I thought with you retiring I’d finally be able to breathe again, but no. I don’t know if I can do it for another thirty-years.”
“Mom,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“Is that what Chris told Tiff the day he left and never came back?”
My mother’s bluntness shouldn’t have shocked me anymore having been around it for most of my life, but she still managed to say things that packed so much punch it practically left me speechless and gasping for air.
A familiar lump formed in my throat and I swallowed, forcing it back down. “I don’t know,” I managed. “And I don’t want to talk about it either.”
“I’m just saying that you can promise me you’ll be safe until you’re blue, but your word means nothing because you can’t predict the future.”
“No, I can’t. But what I can predict is that you have a nice roast about finished in the oven. You have a bottle of wine on the counter, and you wish I wore something other than jeans and a t-shirt.”
“Don’t be smart with me,” Mom said, swatting at me.
“Am I wrong?”
Mom let out a loud breath, and then shuffled back to the kitchen, speaking a mile a minute in her native tongue, making it impossible to keep up.
“Thanks for trying, Dad.”
Dad draped his arms over my shoulder, and pulled me in for a hug. He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “She means well.”
“I know she does. But she still drives me crazy.”
“She has that effect on people,” Dad said, and I laughed. “But that is why God invented wine.”
“Now, you’re talking.”
“Come on. I have a bottle of your favorite Riesling in the fridge.”
I wanted to ask Dad more about the Outlaws, but I hadn’t had the chance to. At work, there were too many ears and, at home, we had Mom who seemed to have superhuman hearing. I didn’t want to worry her any more than she already was. So, I waited until dinner was done and she had kicked us out so she could clean up.
“Mom, are you sure you don’t want help?” I asked, before walking out the back door.
“Yes, yes. If you help, then I have to redo. It’s better if I just do.” My mother made me laugh. Nobody could do anything better than her. It reminded me when I was a kid and I surprised her by cleaning the house one day when she was out with Dad. I was so excited, and she thanked me, but I could see her eyes grazing across the vacuum lines, knowing I didn’t put them in the right direction. I could sense the itch in her fingers to get the glass cleaner and re-wipe the surfaces that were already spotless. She didn’t, and I knew it took a lot for her to let it go. She was a creature of habit, my mother, and she was happiest when she was left alone to do her thing. So, I didn’t argue. I grabbed my glass and followed Dad out to his shed.
I sat on the couch as he took a beer from his mini fridge. “How’s everything going? With the apartment? The job?”
“It’s good. Things are still falling into place, but I’m settling in nicely. Reed admitted in not so many words that he was jealous of me, and wasn’t happy when I came to town.”
Dad didn’t say anything, just laughed.
I took a big gulp of my wine and finally felt its calming effects wash over me. “Did he honestly think he could become sheriff? I looked at dad and smirked. “I know teenagers that have more experience than he does.”
“That’s what happens when you’re handed everything your whole life. You don’t know how to work for things. You expect it.”
“I’m glad you and Mom didn’t raise us that way. I mean, you gave us more than enough, but you also taught us the value of hard work and it’s gone along way for me.”
“It’s the values we were taught growing up. I was a little more lenient on you than my father.”
“Grandpa was a scary man,” I said, remembering the cranky old bastard who had hands the size of baseball mitts.
“He meant well, though.”
We were quiet for a moment, each taking a sip from our drinks. “Did you learn everything you needed to know from the file I gave you?” Dad asked, and I was happy he brought it up. Sometimes I hated talking about work outside of work because I never knew if he was sick of it or not.
“I learned more than I knew, so yes, thank you. But there are still some things that I need to know that I won’t find in a file.”
“Dad ran a hand through his hair and rested back into the couch. “Like what?”
I took a deep breath, and hesitated, because I wasn’t sure if I should tell Dad about the encounter Beast and I had with Gordita’s Army and how easily Beast killed a man. But, if I wanted answers, I needed to be completely candid.
“The day you sent me to the docks, something happened.”
Dad shifted, and placed his beer on the side table. “What are you talking about?”
“Beast showed up right when I was leaving, and insisted on coming with me.”
“You need to stay away from him, Ryan. He’s not a good guy.”
“That’s what the file tells me, but, if it wasn’t for him, I’d be dead.”
Dad’s face went pale, and I wasn’t sure whether or not I should finish telling him.
“What happened? You better tell me everything,” he demanded with controlled ire.
“What happened? We went, and I was ready to go check things out when Beast grabbed me and pointed out a guy on the roof holding a rifle, looking like he was ready to take care of business if necessary. We wound up finding a spot where we could see the docks and be hidden. Like I told you, we saw them unloading what appeared to be illegals from a cargo ship. When I had seen enough, and was ready to leave, I turned around to see a man holding a gun to Beast’s head.”
“Shit. That’s what he was talking about when he came to talk to me.”
“What did he say?”
“He was being so goddamned vague, I wasn’t sure. But, now, it makes sense. He was hinting that he didn’t think you should be going out to scope things out alone without backup. He also told me in not so many words that he didn’t think Reed could protect you.”
“I don’t know why he cares so much.”
“Me either, but, like I said, you stay from him. He’s dangerous. I don’t need you getting mixed up in anything else. I know you like the bad boys.”
“Oh my god, Dad. I dated one guy with an earring back in high school, and you hold it against me for the rest of my life. I think I can control myself. Thanks.”
He held his hands up. “Hey, I’m just saying. I know how you girls can get all swoony over a good-looking guy.”
“I haven’t noticed.” Or maybe I did. The truth was Beast was on the wrong side of the law, so it didn’t matter how dark his eyes were, or how tall and muscular he was, or that he understood my sarcasm. When I looked at him, all of that got lost to the simple fact that he was a criminal.
“Okay, so tell me how you got away from the guy?”
“
That’s the thing. I told him I was the police, but he didn’t surrender. He turned the gun on me.”
“Son of a bitch!”
“Before he could hurt me, Beast grabbed his arm and used the guy’s own gun to kill him. Hell, he used his fingers to pull the trigger. I was stunned. He killed this guy right in front of me with no remorse. No regrets. All he cared about was getting us out of there as fast as he could. It was so much to process, and I should have told you sooner, but I needed to get my head around it.”
“I’m actually happy the bastard was there.”
“So, you’re okay that he killed an innocent man?”
“Ryan, you and I both know that guy wasn’t innocent and, the minute you accept that, the easier it will be for you to take over the reins. He pointed a gun at you and had every intention to shoot and kill you, I’m sure. Beast just did what he knew had to be done. If he didn’t kill him, the guy would have come after you. He saw your face and your uniform. He knew who you were. It would have been only a matter of time.”
“So, this sort of thing is normal? It’s happened to you?”
Dad went silent, rubbing a hand over his face as if every horrible memory from the past was coming back to him. “More times than I can count. I’m not saying that it’s right, but sometimes you have to do things that go against everything you believe in order to protect yourself. To do what’s best for you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Why didn’t you let me know that Black Hills, the place I call home, is even more dangerous than the big cities?”
“Honestly?”
“Yeah, honestly.”
“I didn’t think you’d believe me if I told you. You knew enough about the Outlaws to know that the dealings in Black Hills can be unconventional and shady, but if I told you there was a street gang that we suspected was bringing illegals over the border, through our waters, and, in return, they would pledge their allegiance to the gang, would you have believed me? If I told you that I’ve seen more dead bodies than you who worked in some of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Detroit, would you have believed me? Or would you have thought I was trying to scare you? Trying to make you think that your old man was some tough guy because I didn’t want you to think I sat at my desk and ate donuts all day.”
“I never thought you sat at your desk and ate donuts all day.”
“That’s good to know. My point is, sometimes, it’s easier to believe something when you experience it yourself. Become witness to it.”
“In doing so, I could have gotten killed. You let me blindly walk into a dangerous situation. Why would you do that to me?” I couldn’t imagine that my own father did it on purpose to prove to me the dangers of this job. But I just couldn’t understand why he would let me go there, alone, with no back up, and no idea about how grave the situation was.
“You have no idea how sorry I am about that. I should have known better. I didn’t think they’d be in the middle of unloading. I thought there’d be maybe one or two guys just hanging around, and I know how competent you are and that you know how to protect yourself. That was my mistake, and you can be sure I won’t make the same one twice. I’m grateful Beast was with you, despite how dangerous he is. I owe him, and I’ll be in debt to him for what he did.”
“Just do me a favor.”
“Anything, munchkin.”
“Don’t keep things from me again. I want to know everything. Everything you’ve been through. Everything you know. It’s time to come clean, Dad. I can’t possibly take over for you if I don’t have a handle on what is going on. I don’t want to be blindsided, and I sure as hell don’t want to die, because you failed to tell me something.”
He played with the watch on his wrist as if he was trying to make a decision. “I don’t know where to start.”
“How about the beginning?”
“You better get some more wine.”
“Still have that bottle in the fridge?”
He reached down and pulled the bottle out, handing it over to me. I topped my glass off, and handed him the bottle back, but he held his hand up. “Trust me, you’ll need the whole bottle.”
I placed the bottle in front of me on the floor, and settled back into the couch. “The stage is all yours, Dad.”
He adjusted on the couch, and took another deep breath, before starting at the very first day he met Nick Jacobs. The day he signed a deal with the devil, and changed his life, but also saved the town.
9
Beast
Cash found a new supplier who was based just an hour west of us, but needed a face to face meeting to set things into motion. He came down with some sort of stomach bug, and I told him it was from sampling all that damn wedding cake, so I volunteered to go. He insisted Hudson tag along, since shit had been escalating with Gordita’s Army. He figured having someone riding with me was a good idea even though I usually preferred to do shit on my own.
Hudson was easy, though. He didn’t want to tell me about every girl he fucked in the past decade, or insist we stop off at some bar to pick up some locals. He pretty much stuck with the plan from beginning to end, and didn’t say much. So, if anyone had to come along, Hudson would’ve been my choice, and I had a feeling Cash knew that.
We pulled off the highway, and went toward the address Cash had given me. It was a well-developed area with strip malls every few feet and random apartment buildings wedged in between. We continued until all the signs were no longer in English, but what I assumed was Korean.
The man we were meeting with went by Kwon. He was the second in command of one of the newest, and soon to be largest, drug-smuggling operations on the west coast. Cash discussed getting out of the drug business with us, and in time we would, but for now we just wanted to get to Kwon before Gordita’s Army or Montamos did. The last thing we needed right now was for those pricks to gain more alliances.
I pulled my bike into the back lot of a restaurant, and Hudson followed, parking next to a Ferrari that cost more than most people’s yearly salary. Once upon a time, shit like that impressed me. I’d get a hard on at the sight of something like that, but that shit didn’t do anything for me anymore. After everything I’d seen, the suffering, the loss, the bloodshed, a beautiful car seemed pointless.
The war affected everyone differently. As soon as Riggs recovered, he spent every penny he made while oversees on a down payment for a car just like that one. He told me almost losing his life put things in perspective. We might not be here tomorrow, so why not enjoy life? It was the last thing he ever said to me. Three weeks later, he wrapped his car around a telephone pole going a hundred and ten miles per hour. At least he got those three weeks.
After everything we had been through… surviving that explosion, living to tell about it, and he died anyway. The only thing that made it okay for me was knowing he died doing what he loved, opposed to doing what I knew deep down he hated.
“Ready?” Hudson said.
I grunted, and started walking toward the back door where we were told to enter. Riggs was still front and center in my mind, and I tried to force him away. The thing about the past is, as soon as you let those memories seep back in, they held on with an iron fist, refusing to be pushed out of sight.
The blue-eyed bastard was just as stubborn in my head as he was in life. In life, I could give him a good hit to the shoulder, and get him to knock it the fuck off, but in my mind I had no control of him or the memories. We reached the door and I hesitated, trying to get my shit together. I closed my eyes, and focused on the task at hand. When I opened my eyes, Riggs was finally gone. Thank god.
“You loaded?” I asked Hudson, realizing I probably should have asked that before we even left the garage.
He patted his cut with a smile. “Of course. I hacked into the local police files, checked Kwon out, then went a little farther. I know what we’re dealing with, and trust me when I say, we don’t want to get on their bad side. Montamos are fucking angels compared to Kwon and his men.�
��
I nodded and pushed in to the building. My gun sat on the inside of my cut, and was there in case I needed it. Though, truth be told, I didn’t even need my gun. I was highly trained and could kill someone in a dozen different ways without a single weapon. It would just take a second longer, though, and, in some situations, seconds were the difference between life and death.
We moved through a kitchen that smelled like a fishing boat on a hot humid day, and made our way toward the front. A few chefs stood behind a table, preparing food and giving us a curious stare as we walked by. One chef placed a live fish on the table and, as it flopped around, the chef beat it with a stick until it stopped moving.
“The sign isn’t kidding when it says fresh,” Hudson said, as we left the kitchen behind us.
The smell lingered in my nose just like the smell of the Humvee burning on the side of the road. I only hoped that this scent wouldn’t linger for weeks.
The restaurant was dimly lit with black walls that blended into black wooden booths. Cream-colored cushions lined the booths, as well as the dark wood chairs that were arranged around matching tables. A divider wall made up of shelves held different shapes, sizes and color vases. Black and orange pendant lights hung in groups of threes from the ceiling.
“Who are you?” A man with dark hair and a thick accent asked. He stood in front of us with his hand on the pocket of his black tailored suit.
“I’m Beast, and this is Hudson, Cash sent us.”
“Where’s Cash? He told me I’d be meeting with him.”
“Sick.”
He took a moment to look us over before nodding his head toward a booth. I let Hudson slide in first. I didn’t like to be trapped in the middle of anything. I’d rather be free of any and all restrictions.
I made a quick scan of the restaurant, and noticed two big guys off in the corner. Both looked like they were packing. I knew, if I had to, I could easily take both. I wouldn’t mind if it came to that. I hadn’t been in any sort of confrontation since I blew that guy’s head off down at the docks.
Beast (A Righteous Outlaws Novel #4) (The Righteous Outlaws) Page 7
