Beast (A Righteous Outlaws Novel #4) (The Righteous Outlaws)

by Savannah Rylan

  My house phone rang, as I pushed into the front door. Without thinking to glance at the caller ID, I answered. Mom was usually the only person who called on my landline anyway. Everybody else sent me a text.

  “Ryan?” the voice of my best friend, and Chris’s widow, had me drop my bag on the floor. I hadn’t spoken to her since the funeral. I couldn’t. Every time I did, I saw the life she wouldn’t have because of me. The life I ripped away from her because I wasn’t fast enough. Because I was careless, and looked away for a single second. One second that had forever changed her entire life. I saw her unborn daughter, and the father she would never know. “Please talk to me,” she pleaded, and the broken pieces of my heart shattered even more.

  A hot burning lump formed in my throat, blocking any words from coming out. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, and I leaned against the doorframe.

  “If you’re not going to talk, then I will. I got your house number from your mom, since you wouldn’t answer my calls on your cell. I thought maybe you got a new number, but your mom confirmed that wasn’t true. You were my best friend, and you just left me when I needed you most. We both lost him, but, when you shut me out, I lost you, too.”

  The tears fell freely down my face, and my legs gave out. My body dragged down the doorframe, as I collapsed into a pathetic heap on the floor.

  “I was angry at you for a long time. And, not because I thought you had anything to do with Chris’ death, because I know that’s what you’re thinking, but because you got to run away and I didn’t. You left, so you didn’t have to pass his favorite coffee shop on the way to the store. You didn’t have to bump into people who kept saying how sorry they were for your loss, like I lost some inanimate object and not my husband. You didn’t have to drive by the cemetery every goddamned day on your way to work, and have to pull over because you couldn’t see through the tears. You didn’t have to deal with any of that because you left. I hated you for it because I wish I could have left, too.” Her voice cracked, and she sobbed lightly on the other end, making my own tears pour out harder and faster.

  She sniffled, and I imagined her wiping a tissue under her eye, taking a deep breath to give her the strength to keep going. She let out a soft laugh. “And then I felt guilty for thinking that. I shouldn’t want to run away because, if I did, I’d be leaving behind all the good stuff, too, you know? I owed it to him to stay and to keep moving forward. To raise our daughter in his hometown, so she would be surrounded by people who knew Chris, and could tell her how great her father was. Tell her how much he wanted her, and how much he loved her, before she was even born.”

  My body shook with silent sobs, and I felt like my heart was palpitating out of my chest. I tried to catch my breath, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get air into my lungs.

  “You weren’t even here for her birth, and I never got to tell you her name: Christina Ryan. She’s beautiful. She has his smile already, and she’s stubborn just like him.” Her words broke off, and she sobbed louder this time. I hated myself for not being able to offer a single word. To say something, to find a way to make up for everything that I did and didn’t do.

  “I miss you, Ry. As much as I miss Chris, and it hurts that you’re not in my life, that you haven’t met my daughter, heard her cry and heard her laugh. It’s the best little laugh and, when I thought I’d never smile again, she gave that back to me. There are days when I’m still sad, but I have her to get me through the rough patches. I just…” She sucked in a rush of air, and I slapped a hand over my mouth to try and muffle the cries prying their way out of me. “I just miss my best friend, and hope that one day you’ll let me back in.”

  She went silent, and my heart thrashed against my chest. The lump in my throat grew even larger, but I couldn’t let her hang up. Not yet. I didn’t realize until I heard her voice how much I missed it. I missed my go to person. The one I went to when I needed advice, whose shoulder I cried on, whose kitchen table I laughed at while we shared a bottle of wine. I missed my best friend.

  “Goodbye, Ryan.”

  “Tiff!”

  “Ryan,” she said, her voice filled with so much hope.

  “Don’t hang up.” I could barely speak, but it had been so long, and I needed her. I didn’t know how much until I thought I was about to lose her again.

  We talked for hours. We cried, we laughed, we reminisced and cried some more, but, for the first time in a very long time, I felt a little lighter. I thought Tiff blamed me just like I blamed myself, but she assured me the thought never even crossed her mind. She knew I thought of Chris as not only my partner, but more like a brother. A brother that I loved, respected, and would do everything in my power to protect just as I knew Chris would do the same for me. She told me she was just happy that I was with him for his final moments on earth so he didn’t have to die alone. I promised her I’d make a point to visit her within the next few months, and meet Christina Ryan. When we finally hung up, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

  I tried to go to sleep, but I had so many emotions and thoughts bouncing around in my head. I slipped into a pair of running shorts, and pulled on a sports bra, before stepping into my running sneakers. The only way I was going to be able to get any sleep tonight is if I exhausted myself.

  15

  Beast

  Seeing Ryan in that dress messed with my fucking head. All I could think about was peeling the material from her body, and running my tongue along every feminine curve. The thoughts made my cock hard as a fucking rock so I stepped into an ice cold shower, hoping it would cool me the fuck down.

  The only thing it did was make me imagine her with water dripping over her tits, down her stomach to her pussy that I’m sure tasted as good as she smelled. I closed my eyes, resting my head against the cold shower tile, and wrapped my hand around my dick.

  I imagined pulling her hair loose from that damn bun, letting it fall in waves on her shoulders. My cock pulsed as her face became clearer, a playful smile spreading across that beautiful face. She spun around, catching my gaze over her shoulder, and biting down on that pouty bottom lip as she let out the sexiest of moans.

  My body twitched with raw hot desire, and my hand tightened on my cock. I jerked back and forth, slow and steady at first, but as the visions became more vivid, my pace quickened until I could hear the slapping sounds of my hand against my balls over the water.

  Every muscle in my body tensed as I worked myself closer and closer to release. I closed my eyes tighter and moaned when Ryan’s dress fell down her body into a puddle at her heels. The only thing she was wearing other than her shoes was that sexy as fuck garter and her gun. I slammed my hand against the tile as I came hard and fast.

  I rested against the wall as the water washed away the evidence. I waited to feel the relaxing calm blowing my load had always brought me, but it never came. With an annoyed tug, I shut the water off, and climbed out of the tub.

  Beauty scratched at the door, and I pushed it open to let her in. She ran in a circle around my feet before collapsing on top of them. I tied a towel around my waist and scooped her up, placing her on the counter. She sat and watched me as I wiped the mirror clean of fog, and ran a razor over my face.

  I glanced at my phone. It was one o’clock in the morning, and every attempt at going to sleep was pointless. I already showered, but it didn’t matter. I needed to go out for a run. I picked Beauty up, and placed her back on the floor. “Come on.” That’s all I needed to say. She took off running to the door, jumping up on her hind legs when she got there. She danced around the door, whining until I finally opened it.

  We both took off running down the lawn to the street. Beauty, creature of habit, went right for our old running path. The one I always took before I decided running into Ryan was a bad idea. Instead of running after Beauty and forcing her back in the other direction, I let her take the lead and followed her.

  Each time my foot hit the ground, the calm I’d been searching for made its
way through my veins little by little. The air was cool, but it felt so fucking good against my heated skin. Beauty waited at the corner for me to catch up and, when I got close enough, she took off again.

  We made it about three blocks before she ran off to the side of the road, and collapsed on someone’s yard. It was turning into a bad habit. I squatted down and slapped my hand against my thigh. “Come on, girl.” She ignored me, rolling around on the grass like a hippie, high on LSD. “Beauty!” She quickly got to her feet and sat down, staring at me with those big brown eyes. “If you’re going to keep coming with me, you’re going to have to make it more than three blocks.” I was losing my goddamned mind, talking to a fucking rat of a dog.

  “Is this how all your pep talks go?” I heard behind me, and glanced over my shoulder to see Ryan in a pair of short shorts and a sports bra. Fuck. My cock was instantly hard again.

  “I don’t usually do pep talks.”

  Beauty took off, jumping up on Ryan’s bare legs, and drawing my eyes to the smooth, muscular flesh.

  She scooped Beauty into her arms, and let Beauty sniff her face, before settling her against her chest. “What about when you were in the service? Never had to give a pep talk? Not even once?”

  “Do you have to turn every conversation into a search of my past?”

  “Sorry. It’s a bad habit.”

  “Smoking is a bad habit. Biting your nails, twirling your hair. Be honest, you’re just being nosey.”

  “Maybe I am, but you intrigue me.”

  “You’re only setting yourself up for disappointment.”

  “For some reason, I doubt that.”

  If she only knew the truth… knew the whole fucked up situation that brought me to where I was today. Maybe I should have told her. She would have realized that I wasn’t some war hero, but a pathetic excuse for a man.

  “So, I stopped by the station before I came home,” she said, making the decision for me.

  “Okay.”

  “Turns out you were right. A homemade bomb was planted and rigged in Willie’s car to detonate when he turned the key. The FBI is taking over the case and, if we’re lucky enough, we’ll be able to catch the guys who did it.”

  I laughed. I knew she was a cop and believed in the system, but she really couldn’t be that naïve. Whoever planted that bomb was a true criminal. They didn’t leave evidence, and they sure as hell didn’t leave a track. The case was closed before it was ever opened.

  “Why are you laughing?”

  “I know you want to think that the bad guys will be caught, and maybe that helps you sleep, but the truth is, you’ll never find the person responsible. The FBI is wasting their time if you ask me.”

  “Good thing they’re not asking you, then,” she said with a wink that had my dick straining against the thin material of my shorts.

  I took a few breaths to gain control while she gave Beauty another round of ear scratches. A light turned on in the house we were in front of, and I gave a tilt of my head. “Looks like we should start moving.”

  I took Beauty from her, our fingers grazing against each other. It was barely a skim, but it was enough to feel her softness and to sense the heat radiating off her body in the cool night.

  “Let’s go,” I said, before my cock took over. “I’ll jog you home.”

  We fell into pace beside each other and, even though we didn’t say another word for the rest of the run, it was the best company I had in a long time.

  I sat in my chair around the large oak table with my brothers. Cash wasn’t happy with what happened at Willie’s funeral, and he felt that we needed to do damage control. It was a bunch of fucking bullshit if you asked me. No matter what we fucking did, these people wouldn’t give two lousy shits.

  Cash rested his elbows on the table and locked his fingers together. “We need to come up with something to put ourselves back in the good graces of the town.”

  “How about we just do another Paws for a Cause?” Byrd suggested as the rest of us were visibly unimpressed.

  “Dumbass,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “At least I came up with something, asshole. What the fuck do you have to bring to the table?”

  I pushed up from my chair, ready to leap across the table and put my fist through his face. Hudson reached a hand out and smacked it against my abs, which was a sad attempt at keeping me in place because I could easily get across the table. But it was enough to make me realize the pettiness and, with a snarl, I sat back down.

  “We done with this bullshit?” Cash asked, looking directly at Byrd. Everyone knew I had a short fuse, and most of the guys were smart enough to avoid playing with fire. Byrd was an immature fuckhead who was going to get himself fucking killed if he didn’t learn to keep his goddamned mouth shut.

  My eyes stayed fixated on Byrd. He nodded, but I wouldn’t look away. I imagined grabbing him by the throat, tossing his ass out into the fucking clubhouse, and far away from me.

  “We need something different,” Cash said. “We can’t recycle the same shit. Besides, I think the town has had their fill of dogs from the last one. So, give me something else. Anything.”

  “Who gives a shit?” I said, leaning back in my chair. “Seriously, why do we even care about assholes who could care less about us? It’s a big waste of fucking time.”

  Cash ran a hand over his face and went to speak, but Phil held his hand up, so Cash sat back, letting him take over. “Because whether those assholes care or not has nothing to do with it. This club started with a purpose to not only protect this community, but to become a part of it, too. For thirty years, we’ve lived side by side with these people in solidarity. I’m not going to let that legacy I helped create fall apart now. Not after everything we’ve been through. The sacrifices we made to make this club what it is. The Righteous Outlaws belong in Black Hills; it’s where we started and where we will continue to stay. So, if we have to go out of our way to make those assholes understand that, and be comfortable with the idea, then you better bet your fucking ass that is exactly what we’re going to do.”

  When he put it that way, I couldn’t argue. The originals created this club, and trusted us to carry out their legacy by recruiting us and letting us wear their cut. The people of the town weren’t worth the damn effort but Phil, Nick, Cash’s dad, and Miles were.

  “So, what the fuck do we do?” I asked.

  “Beats the fuck out of me,” Phil said with a smile.

  We all sat quiet while we thought. Hudson typed away at his damn computer, probably hacking into something to get ideas. The rest of us didn’t have that ability. The only thing we had was our minds. It just depended on how smart and creative we could be and, right now, between the lot of us, there were no creative smarts going on.

  “Why don’t you ask Aubree?” I finally said. “That chick can persuade a blind man to buy glasses. I’m sure she would have plenty of ideas.”

  “It’s a club issue,” Cash responded, obviously trying to keep his old lady out of it. Not that I could blame him. Aubree had a way of weaseling herself into situations to begin with and, once you gave her the open door, she would barge through with a fucking steamroller. She already had enough going on with the wedding and her shop, but we had nothing, and I would bet my bike that she’d come up with a million fucking ideas.

  Kade leaned forward, resting his hands on the table. “Aubree and Sienna are our old ladies, but know more shit than they probably should about what goes on. So, I vote with Beast on this one. Let’s take it to the girls.”

  Cash tapped his fingers on the table. “I don’t know. Sunshine is planning the damn wedding, and already has fucking notebooks and magazines everywhere. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to get her involved.”

  “We’re just asking for suggestions. Nothing else. We’ll take care of the rest,” Kade said.

  Cash laughed. “Yeah, because Sunshine will just give an idea and walk away from it.” He let out a loud breath before agreeing to
ask her.

  “Got the bastard!” Hudson said, laughing at his computer, and everyone’s attention shifted to him.

  “What’s going on?” Cash asked.

  Hudson looked up, as if he didn’t realize he just said the words out loud. A conniving smile spread across his face, piquing my interest. “I suspected Gordita’s Army or Montamos to be the masterminds behind the car bomb. None of us have said it out loud, but let’s be honest here. Willie’s car looks a hell of a lot like Cash’s, and it was parked across the street from Aubree’s place. It was a planned attack; they just got the wrong guy.”

  Cash lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. “I think we’ve all come to that conclusion and, if any of you as much as mentions it to Sunshine, I will break your fucking neck. So, what’d you come up with?”

  “First, I hacked into Matias and Anthony’s bank accounts to see if they spent money anywhere where they could purchase the materials to make a car bomb. From there, I went into the store transactions and broke down their purchases. I didn’t think either would be dumb enough to buy any of that shit with a credit or debit card, but I had to check. Unfortunately for us, they’re not dumb.”

  “So, you found shit then?” Kade said.

  “I’m not finished. I noticed Matias had charges on his card last week in Idaho. A gas station, a restaurant, and then he spent a shit ton at a strip club.”

  “There are strip clubs in Idaho?” Braxton asked.

  “Quite a few actually.”

  “What does a strip club have to do with anything?” Cash asked, trying to push Hudson toward the point. Sometimes, Hudson got caught up in what he was talking about and a ten-minute conversation could turn into an hour.