by Greg Barth
Gabby blushed. “What are you looking at?” She chuckled in a shy way.
“A very pretty woman,” he said. “Slow. But pretty.”
“Oh, come on.” You don’t mean it. “Really?”
“Yes I do.” Judd sipped at his beer. He flicked his ashes on the linoleum floor.
“Gosh. Well, thank you.” She looked down.
“You like doing nice things for nice people?” he said.
“I guess so.”
“Good. You can help me.”
“Oh, I don’t know—”
“No, you’re perfect for this. I’m going to do something nice for my brother. You know Old Man Carson? Tom Carson?”
“Um, I don’t think he’s such a nice person…”
“Sure he is. He’s my brother. You think I’m nice don’t you?”
“I, uh, I guess so.”
“Exactly. So I’m trying to do a nice thing for my brother. But I need money, and I don’t have any.”
“Well, I don’t have money either.”
“That’s okay. You know tomorrow is check day, right?”
She shook her head. “I don’t have any way to get money out of Momma’s account.”
“We don’t have to.” Judd finished off the beer, tossed the empty can in the sink, and took another from the refrigerator. “Go get them cigarettes.”
Gabby went through the door to the living room and came back with the cigarettes and lighter. She took one, lit it and handed the pack over to Judd.
“Tomorrow’s check day,” he said. He took a cigarette, lit it, and put the pack in his shirt pocket. “So other folks will have some money.”
“What are you going to do for Mr. Carson?”
“You know he has a daughter, don’t you?”
“I ain’t never seen her.”
“He does. She’s older than you by ten years. She had to go to prison.”
“What did she do?”
“She killed a bunch of folks. Shot them.”
“Gosh.”
“The old man’s real sad about it. You can see why.”
“You need money for him?”
“We’re going to throw him a party.”
“Oh, well that sounds okay. I like parties. Those cheer me up, too. Can I come?”
“No. You can’t come.” He turned up the can and filled his mouth with beer.
“Is it one of them queer parties?”
Judd choked on the beer. He spewed some of it out his mouth.
Gabby laughed.
Judd wiped the beer from his chin with the back of his hand. “You’re funny.”
“But it’s a boy party,” she said.
“No. There’s going to be girls there. But you’re too old.”
“I’m not that old.”
“Tell you what. You help me get this money, and you and I can throw a big party of our own. Sound good? I like to party with pretty women like you.”
She pursed her lips. She looked up at the ceiling, nodded her head as she thought about it. “How would I help you?”
“You’re not on your period, are you?”
Her jaw dropped. Her eyes opened wide. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“That’s personal. That’s just—”
“It’s important, though. You want to help Old Man Carson, right?”
Her face reddened. “No. I had that last week.”
“That’s good.”
She looked up at the ceiling and put her fingers out one at a time, counting. “It’ll be…”
“As long as it won’t be tomorrow, then we’re okay.”
“Oh, it won’t be.”
“Perfect.” Judd flicked his ashes. “So tomorrow all the old timers will be down at the Shop N Save buying scratch off tickets. Big line of them. You’ve seen them there before, haven’t you?”
She nodded.
“I want to put you in a room at the motel there behind the store.”
She looked at him in silence.
“I’ll be there at the store talking to the guys while they’re in line. I’ll be telling them about you and which room you’re in and all.”
She didn’t respond.
“How it works is, they pay me. I’ll hold all the money, so you don’t have to worry about none of that. You get your cut at the end. If they tip you any, you keep that too.” He stubbed out his cigarette on the counter and flipped the butt into the sink.
She took a deep breath.
“You’d be doing me a big favor. I’m sure your Momma would want you to.”
Gabby shook her head. “She don’t like me doing that.”
“She’s not here. So you have to be a big girl and do what you think you should do. Don’t worry about her.” Judd walked close to her. He put a hand on her shoulder. “Please? For me?”
“How much do I get?”
“I’ll give you twenty-five percent. I’d give you more, but I want to make sure we have enough to take care of the party.”
“But… what if I get…”
“No worries. I’m going to buy you a pill that you take afterwards. It takes care of all of that for you. The cost of the pill will come out of my share. See? I’ve already thought of everything. I pay for the room, I pay for the pill, you keep your tips.”
“Uh, I just don’t—”
“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll come get you early in the morning. You be ready.”
“Well…”
“I also want you to go through them pills your momma has in the cabinet. See what she left. Bag them up, and I’ll go through them in the morning. Seems like I remember seeing some Dilaudids here once. If you see those, be sure to grab them. You can sell those too. I can take you to some people I know that will buy them.”
“Di what?”
“You’re not too stupid to do what I’m asking you to, are you?”
Her jaw dropped. “Huh? No! I just—”
“I know people think you’re stupid. I hear it said a lot. I don’t. If I thought that, I wouldn’t come to you for help. Think of this as your chance to prove to everybody how capable you are.”
“I’m not stupid, I’m just not like—”
“Get me that last beer out, would you?”
Gabby brushed a tear away with her thumb. She moved to the refrigerator and got out the last of her PBRs. “I won’t get in trouble, will I?”
“Hell no. You trust me, don’t you? Besides, the jail’s all full right now. They ain’t arresting nobody else ’til they make some more room.”
“Today started normal, and now everything is just so confusing.”
“We’re gonna help each other, you and me. We’re a team now. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
She handed him the beer and stood next to the table. She fidgeted with the ends of her hair.
Judd walked up close to her and placed his beer can on the kitchen table. “We need to do something first.”
“What?”
“I just need to make sure you still remember how. Make sure you can do everything right.”
Gabby wrapped her arms around her stomach. “I don’t know. What will those guys want me to do?”
“I’m going to show you. Get your shirt off and sit up on the table.”
“Here?”
Judd reached out and took a handful of her hair. He clenched his fist tight, pulling the hair tight at the roots.
“Ow. That hurts.”
He pulled her face close to his. “Don’t you disappoint me now.”
T EN
Selena
CARLA SAT ON the concrete floor in front of me. I was sitting on the edge of my narrow bunk. I worked her long, dark hair into a single braid. When I finished, I flipped it up out of the way and massaged her shoulders.
She had a tattoo of a gnarled branch covered with pink flower blossoms on her right shoulder. It extended from her lower shoulder blade to the base of her neck, beautiful and rich with detail. Some blossoms were buds, ot
hers were in full bloom. The trunk of the plant was twisted and gnarly with thorns and broken branches. I brushed my fingertips over it while working the knotted muscles underneath.
Carla had great skin. I appreciated that the beauty of her tattoos matched the quality of their canvas.
In my mind I went back there, to the night I left.
***
I sat on the living room floor smoking a cigarette. I was wearing only a pair of cotton panties. I was probably the most stoned person on the planet at the time. I put my cigarette in the ashtray, and I prepared some marijuana bud in an herb grinder.
The normal crowd was in the room with me—my father, uncle, a couple of their friends, a couple of other girls, and Magnus—but everyone was passed out. Everyone except Magnus and me. It became our habit that we stayed up longer than the others to have some time just the two of us.
“I’m glad you stayed awake until all the others passed out, so we can talk. These are my favorite times, you know,” Magnus said.
“I’ve mastered all your tricks,” I said.
“You are on your way to being a true hedonist, Selena.”
“Want me to roll another joint?”
“I think I’m all set,” he said. I watched as he rubbed his thick bearded cheeks with his hands.
“I might roll one for me then.”
“Did you think about what I asked you a while back?”
“What’s that? You ask me a lot of things. A lot of crazy things.”
“You know. About coming and staying with me for a while.”
“I don’t even know where you live.” I checked the grind and it looked good. I grabbed some papers from the coffee table and got one ready.
“You know the old road over to Virginia? Goes over the mountain?”
“Yeah. I’ve seen it from a distance.”
“Ever see a light up there at night?”
“Um, I think so.” I sprinkled the pot in the rolling paper.
“That’s my house.”
“Why would I want to go up there with you?”
“We’d have fun. You could spend time with my girls. I could teach you more things if you were with me, Selena. I could teach you to be powerful like I am.”
I looked up at him. “Doesn’t matter what I want. My dad wouldn’t let me do it.”
“He would,” Magnus said. “I’d pay him.”
“Pay him? What do you mean?”
“He’d say yes. We already talked it over. He’s okay with it. He’s just afraid you won’t want to go is all. He might feel guilty about making that kind of decision if you weren’t okay with it. If you wanted to do it, well that would make it a lot easier for him. What do you say?”
I finished rolling the joint. It was good and tight. I bit the back tip off so I could get a good draw. I put it in my mouth, sealing it with my saliva, and drew it out. I put it between my lips and lit it with my cigarette lighter. Drew deep and held the smoke. Passed it to Magnus.
“You’re going to kill me with this stuff, girl,” he said, and took a deep drag on the joint.
My eyes were dry, and I could feel my body wobble as I sat there. My lungs cried out for air, and I released my smoke. “When would I have to go?” I said.
He blew out his smoke. “We can go as soon as I’m sober enough to drive.”
“How long would I stay?”
“As long as you want. Forever if you want.” He passed me the joint.
“I can’t go to school in Virginia.”
“My girls don’t go to school. We do our learning at home.”
We passed the joint back and forth. I poured us both a glass of whiskey. “Getting cotton mouth,” I said.
Magnus raised his glass and sipped the amber liquid. I watched how his head wobbled, his eyes narrow, glassy, and red. “You haven’t answered my question yet”.”
“That’s because I’m still thinking about it, stupid”.”
“Well, what’s there to think about?”
“It feels like you’re pressuring me on this.”
“Then I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel that way. I just think this would be good for both of us.”
I took a big drink of whiskey. “Tell you what. I’ll go freshen up. When I get back, I want that glass to be empty. We’ll do something fun, then I’ll give you my answer. Fair?”
“Fair.” He drained the whiskey in one long gulp.
I got up from the floor and walked down the hallway. I ran one hand along the wood-paneled wall to keep my balance.
My father was going to sell me. If I didn’t do something right away, I was about to become the possession of a man.
I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I went over to the toilet and got down on my knees. I pushed a finger deep down my throat until I gagged. I vomited into the toilet. I got up and rinsed my mouth. I held onto the sink until the room stopped spinning. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red. I looked deep into them. “Sober up,” I told the girl in the mirror. “Catch your fucking snap.” The room stopped spinning.
As quiet as I could, I stepped out of the bathroom. I left the shower running, walked back up the hallway to my bedroom, and slipped inside. I put on a bra, then a shirt, and a pair of jeans. I sat on my bed and put on socks then my sneakers.
I got up and opened my bedroom window. I popped the screen free, ducked my head under the window glass, and sat on the ledge. I lifted one foot over then the other, and dropped to the cool grass.
It was pitch dark outside. I walked up the gravel driveway to the dirt road. Once on the road, my eyes adjusted. Millions of stars in the black night sky, but the moon wasn’t out yet.
I walked slowly down the hill that led out of the holler. Once I got to the point that I could see in the dark, I picked up the pace to a jog. I ran the two miles down to the mouth of the holler, the entire way scared Magnus would run up behind me in the dark.’
At the mouth of the holler, I stood alongside the four-lane highway. Every now and then a car would pass, but I didn’t attempt to stop them. I was young, but I knew a thing or two about hitchhiking.
After a few minutes, I saw a coal truck coming around the bend. I raised my hand out, thumb extended. The first coal truck passed me by. The wind and coal dust whipped at my hair and face, causing me to squint in the night. The smell of burnt diesel filled my nostrils.
The second truck stopped for me. It didn’t pull off the highway, as there wasn’t enough room on the gravel shoulder between the highway and the guardrail. But traffic that time of night was nonexistent.
I ran up to the truck. The driver pushed the passenger door open from the inside. I climbed up.
“Where you going, honey?” he said. He was a young man, early twenties, tall and slim, with a ball cap on his head. He had a front lip full of Skoal. “Hell, you’re just some high school girl, aint’cha?”
“Hi. I’m older than I look,” I said. “A lot older.”
“You smell like you been smoking something, little lady.”
“Just leaving a party. Can you get this thing moving?”
He put the truck in gear and got it rolling. “Where you wanna go?” He spit tobacco juice out his open window.
“How far away are you going from here”?”
“Going from the truck mine to the railroad, then back,” he said.
“Then I wanna go to the railroad.”
“You in some kinda trouble, girl?”
“I’m not a girl. I’m a woman. And don’t you worry about a thing. What’s your name?”
“Johnny Sayles.”
“Well Johnny Sayles, you got anything to drink in this truck?”
***
Carla mumbled something. Her words jarred me back to the present. I’d been lost in thought and didn’t catch what she said. “What was that?”
“Oh, I just said you’ve got a magic touch. Please just keep doing that just like you are. This is heaven.”
“I just love you
r shoulders. I could rub them all night.”
“I’ll have to make it a point to get along with everyone if I’m going to wear my hair like this. Wouldn’t want someone to take my head off with this braid.”
“You’re too sweet to fight,” I said.
“You think I could go short?”
“You could pull it off. You’d be giving up a major commitment to your long hair though.” I turned her head to the side. “You’ve got good structure. Cheekbones, narrow chin. Dark eyes. You could go punk short and look great.”
“I’m thinking of doing the Locks of Love thing.”
I worked the tight muscles in her shoulders, dug in with my thumbs to loosen them. It was clear that she wanted to talk and that I was being too quiet.
“You’re so distant tonight. Penny for your thoughts,” she said.
“I don’t know. I’m just thinking about my family. You think they’re still up to it?”
“You mean with the girls?”
“Yeah. My dad. My uncle. And Magnus. I just wonder.”
“Men don’t give stuff like that up,” she said. “They may have less testosterone these days, but that just means they have to kick it up a notch.”
“Thing is, I was there. It was last year. I spent a few weeks there with my dad.”
“Did you see anything?”
“No. I mean, I thought he was going to make moves on me, you know? I’m pretty sensitive to that. I know when a man is... you know. But I put a stop to it quick.”
“Yeah, but your dad. That’s got to be weird.”
“You have no fucking idea.”
“I had a stepdad, so I’ve got some ideas.”
“He had magazines lying around. Some stuff on VCR tapes.”
“How were you able to stay there with him like that?”
“It was just after some guys beat me up real bad. When I got out of the hospital from that, I started drinking again. I went back to my dad’s, and I had all that on my mind. It’s like the alcohol turned my mind off to those memories. All those things happened to me when I was a girl. It’s like I’m just now processing it as a woman.”
