by Berinn Rae
A hint of disappointment flashed in his eyes, he tilted his head toward the vaulted ceiling, and blew a long breath. Damn, damn, I ruined the moment. But if professing her love to him was what he wanted to hear from her, next time she’d force those words out if it killed her. No, she shouldn’t so foolishly gush with words of her love. Her feelings confused her. Since her dad’s accident, love had not existed in her life.
She sat on his now half hard cock. The three little words she couldn’t bring herself to say meant so much to him. Fear of the unknown raked through her and sent a cold shiver up her spine. “Tom, my memories will never return.”
A soft and slow smile stretched his lips. “Then we’ll just have to make new ones.”
“There’s someone at the door, Daddy,” Milo’s small voice called out.
“Our lunch is here.” Tom sat up and kissed her cheek. “After we eat, we’ll head out to visit with Tadem.”
• • •
Dark, imposing windows stared down at Olivia from the large, brick face of the building. The blinking multicolored lights twinkled on the two pine trees in front, but they hardly gave the surroundings the feel of Christmas. Tomorrow they’d bring Tadem to spend the day with them at the hotel and forget this dreary place if only for a moment.
She took a deep breath and pushed through the row of residents basking in the weak winter sun. Some sat in their wheelchairs while a few gathered around weather-beaten picnic table. Not one of them stopped their smattering conversations as her family passed by them.
A petite, elderly woman greeted them at the plain reception desk. “Hello, everyone.” Her wintry blue eyes crinkled at the corners when she glanced at baby in Tom’s arms. “And this must be Rosie. Tadem is so anxious to see all of you. She’s waiting in her room.” The receptionist turned her gaze at Olivia. “Doctor is amazed at her progress after the surgery. And it’s nice of you to come see her so often. Many of our clients don’t receive any visitations at all.”
Olivia forced a smile, but guilt churned her stomach. The woman obviously failed to notice she wasn’t the same Olivia as the one who visited her sister.
Her boots thumped on the carpeted floor as she followed Tom down the long corridor. Though the place wasn’t a hospital, the smell of disinfectants and stale coffee from the cafeteria crept into her nose. The ever-present knots in Olivia’s stomach tightened.
When Tom turned the corner, Milo ran ahead and knocked on the door of suite 201. “It’s us, Auntie.”
The sting of remorse slid over her. Her husband and son knew in which apartment her sister resided, yet she had no clue about her sibling’s life. She halted at the entrance. The proximity of the door to the next unit assured her Tandem lived in a small place. Olivia took a tentative step into the apartment, some ten square feet with its own bathroom.
“I missed you so much.” Milo rushed forward to hug Tadem’s wide girth. When had her sister grown heavy? The facility might not offer adequate physical program for her to be active. Confined to this tiny space, parked in front of television, it was no wonder she put on weight. Even with her thin, black hair and small eyes in her round face, the family resemblance was undeniable.
“I missed you, too.” Tadem might’ve grown to an adult, but her voice had remained the same, childish and slurring. She took Milo’s hand, examining his temporary tattoo of a cartoon character. “This is so cool.”
“You can have one, I’ve got more.” Milo tapped her hand, indicating where to put the picture.
Tom turned the baby in his arms toward Tadem. “This is Rosie. You haven’t seen her yet.”
Tadem’s black eyes appeared beady, but warmth filled them when she smiled. “She’s so cute.”
Tom extended his arms, bringing the baby closer to Tadem. “Would you like to hold her?”
“Yes.” Tadem squirmed but took Rosie in her clumsy hands. Tom kept close, monitoring Tadem’s movements.
“Hi, Rosie. I’m your aunt.” She attempted a clumsy bounce.
Sorrow and grief overwhelmed Olivia. In an instant she relived the dreadful day when people in white coats took Tadem away. A tight band constricted her chest and she drew in a breath. She clasped her hand over her mouth, but a yelp escaped her. Tom glanced over his shoulder then back at Tadem. “Here, I’ll take Rosie. Milo boy, mommy needs a few minutes alone with Auntie. Why don’t we go get some treats from the coffee shop down the street?”
The boy slapped his leg. “Aw, but we just got here.”
“No buts, let’s go.” Tom led him to the door. “We’ll be back in a few.”
Unrestrained tears spilled from Olivia’s eyes. With slow steps she approached the bed where her sister sat.
“I missed you all these years. I wanted to come and see you. I begged Mom to bring me, but she only kept promising, saying sure, we’ll go.” She leaned closer to Tadem and hugged her just like the day she’d seen her for the last time.
Tadem’s finger brushed her cheek. “Tears?”
Olivia sniffed and a smile crept through her crying. “Yeah, but it’s ok.”
Olivia stared at Tadem’s guileless face, wondering how much was she comprehending.
Tadem smiled and sat straight. “Hey, you want to see the angel?”
“What angel?”
“The one who’s been visiting me. She has a message for you.” Tadem’s grin exposed her uneven teeth. “Want to see it?”
A message for me? Olivia frowned and shrugged. “OK.”
Tadem closed her eyes, her shoulders rising as she drew in a long breath. Then her puffy face elongated. Her slanted eyes turned almond shaped, her cheekbones standing high and thick, bouncy curls replacing her scraggly hair. The transformation continued down her body, with swelling breasts, a shrinking waist and extended legs.
Olivia took a long step back, her knees shaking. “Tadem?”
Transformed, Tadem’s mouth moved, but a melodious female’s voice came out. “Only in body. This is what she’d look like had she not been touched.”
Olivia tried to steady her racing heart by pressing hard against her chest. “Touched? By whom?”
The strange woman gave a slight nod. “By God.”
“You call her condition a touch of divinity?” Anger crept to Olivia’s voice despite her attempt to control the agitation. How dare this entity call her sister’s infirmity a touch of God?
The angel smiled, casting a glow through the gloom room. “Now the Good Book says, ‘Blessed are poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.’”
Clutching the back of the chair, Olivia steadied her trembling fingers. “I wasn’t brought up in the church so I wouldn’t know the meaning.”
“But Jesus said, ‘Allow the children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of Heaven.’”
The kingdom of Heaven, what a load of crap. Olivia sneered. No such place existed here on Earth or up there in sky. “From what I’ve heard, the Holy Bible is vague and open for interpretation. So if you’re referring to Tadem being like a child, then you’re right.”
The brightness encircling the angel intensified. “We must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus. Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor.”
Help the weak, share with the poor, concepts she found incomprehensible in the past, now something that came as a second nature to her. Perhaps spoken through the mouth of an angel they sounded true. “Why are you with my sister?”
“Every mortal has one guardian angel, but only those like Tadem are deserving of seeing us.”
Olivia pressed her lips tight, but couldn’t stop the wail building in her throat. “It’s unfair to Tadem. She would’ve been a very beautiful woman.”
In one fluid motion, the angel moved close, engulfing Olivia in tangerine scent. “She is happy in her simple life. God loves you, Olivia, and He wants you to know, your sister’s state is not your fault. You must stop blaming yourself for something you ha
ve no power over.”
Olivia winced with sudden realization. “Do you have anything to do with the appearance of Tom and the children?”
Sorrow flashed across angel’s face. “Poor Tadem is very sick.”
Olivia’s stomach knotted. “No, she’s fine. Her surgery was successful.”
“You’re in the future, Olivia. Tadem didn’t have her surgery. Yet. And Tom is fighting for his life.”
Cold sweat washed down Olivia’s back. The angel’s changed expression sent another bolt of fear through her. “What do you want from me?”
“You must choose who to send to Heaven with me. Tadem or Tom?”
“What?” Olivia gasped. “You can’t make me choose.”
Desperate to gain her composure, Olivia tried to recall her corporate training. What would she do when pressed by hard questions? Hit them back with questions of her own.
“Why are you making me do this?” She struggled to keep her voice strong. “You’re the angel, the supreme being. Why can’t you just pick one?
The angel let out a quiet chuckle. She pressed a long finger to her lips. “Shhhh, Tom is on his way back here. I have to go.”
CHAPTER 11
Tom hitched Rosie a little higher on his hip and juggled a cardboard tray full of drinks in his hand. Getting a solid grip on the knob to enter Tadem’s apartment was a challenge — with gloves on, it was next to impossible. The aroma of rich coffee and hot chocolate wafted from the paper cups and lessened the sharp odors of disinfectants. He tapped his booted foot on the wood, but no one answered.
“Olivia.” He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Milo wasn’t helping himself to sweets from the box he carried.
“Open the door, Olivia. My hands are full,” Tom tried again, louder this time. Still no answer. A strange, foreboding slithered over him. His wife must have heard him. Why wouldn’t she respond? He shifted the baby and turned to his son. “Milo, get the door for me.” He reached out with his hand holding Rosie. The baby weighed twice as much in all her winter gear, his arm was starting to hurt by now. Served him right for not getting her stroller out the car, but the coffee shop was closer than his car at the far end of the parking lot. He made a mental note to park closer to the entrance as often as possible. “Give me the Timbits.”
Milo raised his arms, a colorful box of bite size doughnuts in his hands. Tom wrapped his finger around the handle. “First take your glove off.”
The boy removed his mitten by biting on the tip and sliding his hand out. He grabbed the knob, but his small hand wouldn’t wrap around. “I can’t open it, Daddy.”
“Take the other mitten off and try with both hands.”
Milo obeyed, tossing mittens onto the vinyl floor. He managed to twist the handle, but pulled the door toward him.
“Push in.” Tom leaned on the wood panel before Milo could lose his grip and the door swung open.
Olivia stood frozen in the corner, her knuckles white, gripping the back of a chair. “Honey?” Tom set the tray on the small, round table and turned to glance at Tadem. She sat on the bed, where he’d left her when he’d urged Milo out of the room to give Olivia a few moments alone with her sister.
“Auntie, look.” Milo grabbed the box of sweets and plopped next to Tadem. “We’ve got Timbits and hot chocolate with whipped cream.”
“Cool, I love Timbits,” Tadem droned in her lisp.
Tom set Rosie on the carpet and faced his wife, her stance rigid. She winced when he caressed her elbow, shooting him a surprised glance. Her pale face and wide eyed, she appeared petrified. “Olivia, honey, talk to me.”
“I — ” She gulped. “I need some fresh air.”
“Alright. Let’s stroll through the garden before the sun goes down.” Tom turned to his son and sister-in-law devouring the Timbits, discussing with their mouths full which flavor was their favorite. “We’re going for a walk, put the sweets away.”
Milo and Tadem dusted the icing sugar off their hands. They sprang to their feet and the mattress coils squeaked in protest. Tadem shuffled her feet to the closet in front of the unit’s door and pulled out her coat.
Dressed for the outdoors, Milo and Tadem skipped ahead on the garden path while Tom walked alongside Olivia, Rosie tucked in his arm. His wife’s silence worried him. “Tell me what happened.”
Olivia exhaled a misty breath on a cold wintry day. “If I didn’t see it, I wouldn’t believe it.” She continued with a trembling voice, “After you left, Tadem asked me if I’d like to see an angel. I thought she meant some paper angel she might’ve made in a craft workshop, so I said okay.”
Her hand shook as she pressed black leather encased fingertips to her lips. “Then she changed in front of me.”
Tom furrowed his brow. “Changed?”
“Yes, she became … ” Olivia frowned, gesturing with her hand as if she was desperate to find the proper word. “Normal, like she’d never had her condition. Then she spoke, but it wasn’t her voice. The angel inside that took her body said it was still Tadem only in her normal appearance. She mumbled something religious … didn’t make sense to me. Something about weak of mind and how their kingdom is Heaven.”
“An angel entered Tandem’s body and quoted the Bible?” His chest tightened, but he shook his head, struggling to comprehend and not overreact. Ever since Olivia returned from her trip, strange things had happened, most of them he couldn’t explain. Though these little incidences were becoming annoying, he must remain patient and everything would snap back into its place. She needed him to believe her. He would be the one person she could rely on.
He cleared his throat before he spoke again, just to make sure he wouldn’t sound untrusting. “Weak of mind, kingdom of Heaven … sounds familiar. She might’ve said ‘Blessed are poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven?’”
Turning to him, Olivia pointed her finger, her eyes wide. “Yes, that’s it. You know of this saying?”
Cold wind wrapped around them as they rounded the building. He pulled a knitted hat over Rosie’s ears. Bubble gum pink seemed to lighten her dark hair and eyes. He placed a kiss on her chubby cheek, but even his cherub’s grin didn’t stall the anxiety building in his chest. A real angel must’ve visited Tadem. His wife wasn’t religious and never quoted a single line from the Good Book. But why would a heaven’s entity hang around his sister-in-law? Unless … “It’s not a saying. It’s from the Bible, Matthew 5:3.”
Olivia shrugged deeper into her scarf. “How do you know these things?”
“I was an altar boy.” A memory of the church where he’d spent his fair share of mornings in Sunday school and serving during Mass filled him with warmth. “My parents were so proud of me when I was chosen. Mom’s face beamed the first time I walked down the aisle with the cross in my hands.”
Olivia shared his smile as if reliving the day with him. “What does this Matthew something mean?”
Tom shrugged, trying to recall lessons from church. Tadem was weak of mind. Therefore an angel could show herself in front of Olivia’s sister. But what would the spiritual being want? His heart pounded against his ribs, but Olivia waited on answer. “Basically, tells us to be kind to those who are poor. Be it in spirit, money, or mind.”
They walked along the garden path in silence. Olivia kept her gaze on the light decorations on the bushes and bare trees. Tom pondered her theory of parallel worlds. The fact she could be correct pressed on his shoulders. Even if she weren’t his wife, he couldn’t stop loving her. And if his real spouse returned someday and this woman vanished, would he know the difference? No, nothing would change. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “I should’ve let you get some rest when we checked in. Could it be you’re exhausted and imagined her becoming an angel?”
She ceased walking and cast him a long stare, the kind that always sent shivers up his spine. How could she not be his wife?
“No, Tom. I know what I saw.” A shy smile stretched her lips. She brushed his chest, dreami
ness filling her eyes. With a sharp inhale, she continued, “She left and Tadem’s appearance returned. She seemed to have no recollection of what happened.” Olivia swallowed then continued. “I wasn’t scared of this … entity.” Her lips twisted and she averted her gaze to the gravel on the path. Could she be omitting something about her encounter with the divinity? “Oh, but Tom, my sister would’ve been beautiful. It’s so unfair to her.”
“Life is unfair.” Tom cast her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “We’re luckier than some. Come on, honey, cheer up. Tomorrow’s Christmas.”
Olivia glanced at the brown brick building. “We should get her into a better place.”
He cringed at yet another inconsistency in Olivia’s story. “We already tried that. She’s spent most of her life here and doesn’t like being away from her room.”
“I don’t think her room is cozy at all. The bed looks like it’s on its last leg.” A smile lit up Olivia’s face. “Well, I’ll go shopping and get her a few nice things.”
“I’m sure she’d like that.” Tom kissed Olivia’s cheek. With her mood improved, the weight lifted off his chest. “You must be feeling better.”
She nodded. “Um-hmm.” A slight frown replaced her small smile. “Can you hear Milo and Tadem? When was the last time you saw either of them?”
His eyes widened and panic engulfed him. How could he forget those two? He handed the baby to Olivia. “Hold her, I’ll go look.”
Gravel crunched under his pounding boots. His breath misted as he called out. “Milo, Tadem! Where are you guys?”
He stopped and listened. A child’s laughter echoed in the distance. Tom followed the sound and the chuckling grew louder. The path ended and a lone tree stood in the small clearing, its bare branches decorated with frosty Christmas lights. Milo giggled while a young woman spun him in her arms. The curls of her raven hair bounced on her back. A soft glow radiated from her.
Milo pointed at him. “Look Daddy, Tadem’s angel came out to play with me.”
