She fell back against the bed. “Did you say twin?”
“Yes. You lost one, but the other thrived. The hormones went down but now they’re back up again. I can definitely see why there was an ectopic concern. But now you know for sure. You’re having a baby, pet. You’re finally having a baby.”
The words rushed over Dyanne like a blanket of water, a sheet of rain after a long drought. Neal was kissing her eyes, her ears, but she couldn’t see him, couldn’t hear what he was saying.
She was somewhere else, some place still and quiet, the cave where all her monsters lived. In her heart, Dyanne stepped over the threshold and went in, knowing that God was with her.
Airport goodbyes had never been Dyanne’s thing. After so many times of leaving Neal behind or being the one left behind, she’d learned how to turn off her emotions and do what had to be done.
Her baby, however, had not quite mastered goodbyes. Rising hormone levels and miraculous news make for messy goodbyes. Thus, the crying…
“Don’t cry, honey. Everything is going to be just fine. Your daddy is going to take good care of me,” Fallon said, looking a little too convinced. Her hair had grown a little and her earrings had gone from fist-size down to fifty-cent pieces. Dyanne wasn’t sure what that meant, but for once, she didn’t let it worry her.
“I know it’s going to be okay. Daddy knows what to do. It’s just that, I’m going to miss you. Who is going to make Green Mama smoothies for me?”
“I am!” Ryan’s hand shot up.
They all laughed. Neal put the boy’s hand down. “We’ll handle that together, sport.”
Dyanne shook her head and gave everyone one last hug before starting for the front of the plane. Ryan seemed pretty happy about his first plane ride. His parents hadn’t been quite so excited, but they all agreed that Ryan should come home with Neal and Dyanne instead of staying on the road with Fallon and Reverend Kelvin. The two of them had tried to act disappointed when it was decided that they’d go on alone, but Dyanne knew better.
“I know what you’re thinking, Dee. Don’t worry. I’m a grown woman who can hold her mustard. True enough, your daddy is fine, but the Lord will watch over between you and me. I can’t put a hand on the man without feeling bad. Real bad. Believe me, I’ve tried.”
“Hush, Faye. Let’s get these kids on the plane,” the reverend said, trying not to laugh. “Don’t pay her any mind, daughter. You know you don’t have to worry about us old folks. You just go home, put your feet up and take care of that baby.”
Baby. There it was again. It was on everyone’s lips now, but Dyanne still had to force herself to say it. It still seemed too bright and shiny of a word, too big of a dream. The fear that she’d faced at the hospital, the fear that God would somehow pull the rug from beneath her when she least expected it hadn’t gone away. Dyanne wasn’t convinced that the pregnancy would go to term, but she’d decided that maybe it wasn’t just about that—the outcome.
Maybe it was about making a peaceful place for one of God’s souls to live inside of her for however long he or she was going to live. Maybe it wasn’t about Dyanne and Neal at all, but about something eternal and breathless that she couldn’t hold in her hands.
Though she had yet to give birth and wasn’t sure that she ever would, Dyanne had learned quite a bit about motherhood. She’d always wondered how people like Karol had more and more children and somehow managed to love them all. She realized now that every bit of love made more love. She hoped, no prayed, that this love would be enough to get her through whatever came next.
So far it had seen her through thousands of miles of uncertainty. Now it would carry her home.
For You
For you, dancers sway dipping
Moonlight into dark. One heard
Heaven’s call, slipped away.
Mother pulse music born, you
Kept her song inside.
And so, in palm shade, high
Tide, we will sing of your
Shadow. We will dance the
Duet made one, clapping
Thankful thunder that
Your smile sings
For us in cloudy hollows.
We will sing of your shadow,
Knowing both given, one
Taken, but none lost.
—Karol
Upon learning about Dyanne’s baby
Chapter Twenty-One
The agent that Dyanne recommended was good. Perhaps too good. While Karol and Rob had braced themselves for a few days or weeks of excitement about Karol’s possible publication, the agent had something else in mind altogether.
“So you’re telling me that Steve Chaise called and offered you a contract? Over the phone?” the man asked Karol for the second time.
“Yes,” she said, hoping they could finally get past this part of the story and move on to what she needed help with, which was basically everything else. With the gentleman quiet for the first time in the conversation, Karol dived in and recounted the rest of the call.
“He offered for one book first and then another. Said a two-book deal would probably be best. Are you still there?”
“I am. Forgive me, but I just find all this a little hard to believe. I’ve heard that Chaise has had some sort of great awakening, but I truly had no idea. And this book of yours, well these two books, you say that they are for the new faith line?”
It took all Karol had to try and explain. Writing a book was one thing, talking about what she’d written was something else altogether. She had a newfound respect for Fallon, who kept her words—written or spoken—so ready on her tongue.
The man made grunts and pauses throughout her explanation, stopping occasionally to ask another question. Or two.
Already Karol was exhausted and had a feeling that although he’d come the highest of all Dyanne’s recommendations, this agent might not be for her. In fact, she wondered if she’d take the deal at all. As much as she loved to write, this other side, the business side was hard to handle. She could see why Dyanne and Fallon were so tough. So resilient. Maybe if she were like them, she could tell this man what she needed and discern whether or not he was the one to help her. Ten years ago or maybe even five years ago, she definitely could have done it. Now? She wasn’t sure that she wanted to.
“Sir? You know what? Thank you for your time. This is really all quite overwhelming. I probably should have thought about this a little more before I called you….”
Rob was shaking his head and waving his arms, but Karol didn’t care. He wasn’t the one standing in the middle of the dusty lane with the crystal slipper, the shoe everyone wants but that fits only Cinderella. It looks good in the movies, but it doesn’t feel so great to have someone staring at your toes and trying to assess how exactly they managed to squeeze in where they obviously didn’t belong.
“Mrs. Simon, wait. Please. Forgive me. I was caught off-guard by your story and hadn’t been able to reach Dyanne for the backstory. Please, send me a copy of your book and an e-mail outlining everything proposed in the call. I will honestly let you know my recommendations whether we agree to work together or not. Agreed?”
Rob was nodding frantically, but Karol wasn’t so sure. As Dyanne had pointed out, it takes a team to get to the top of any mountain—or past the cover of any good book. Whether she got published now or not, surely the man would be able to teach her something about the publishing industry. If nothing else, it might be something Ryan could use in the future.
Ryan. He’d completed the front leg of his first flight by now and Karol hadn’t been there to offer him gum so his ears wouldn’t pop during takeoff or explain how the bathroom works thousands of feet in the air. And yet, it had all happened, regardless of her location. Her son was growing up all at once it seemed.
Rob handed her their last copy of Indigo Dawn. She slipped it into a Tyvek envelope while Rob looked up the agent’s contact information on the Internet.
Karol gripped the envelope with both ha
nds. “This book. It’s for Ryan. Just for him. I’m glad that people like it, but I don’t know if that matters. I’m most excited that he liked it—”
“Stop it, will you? It’s okay to be scared. This is a big deal. But don’t think for a minute that you’re fooling me with that humble pie routine. I read everything in that box under the bed. You weren’t writing those things for yourself. Maybe you convinced yourself of that, but it isn’t true. Somewhere in the back of your mind, even then, you wanted someone to pick up your words and see something of themselves in it.
“Well, that has happened. There’s really no way to stuff Jack back into the box. So let’s not try. Let’s just do what the man said and see where that leads us, okay? It’s what you would tell me. What you did tell Dyanne.”
Karol shuddered. “Don’t remind me. Every time I think of that, I could just cry. Being a busybody like that and forcing the poor girl out of bed onto a road trip? What on earth was I thinking?”
Rob typed up the label and watched it ease through the printer. He accepted the sheet from the feed tray and applied the label to the envelope. Then, he kissed his wife’s fingers, one by one.
“You were thinking about what might have happened if someone had come and pushed you out of bed when we lost a baby. Or maybe what might have happened if Hope hadn’t been here after you had Mia. As much as I envied the closeness you had sometimes, that was one time I was thanking God for Hope several times a day. You had no way of knowing Dyanne would get sick. And maybe if she’d been at home, they might not have known about baby B.”
Too many ifs in a sentence were always dangerous, her mother had once said. Though not the most nurturing person, she was right on many counts. “Baby B?”
“You know, twins? Baby A and baby B? I don’t know why but I keep thinking this one we’re getting is B?”
Karol had to laugh. “The one we’re getting? Do you hear yourself? Don’t tell me you’ve gone baby hungry on me. Mia is finally about to start kindergarten.”
“Nope! Helping Dyanne and Neal out will be baby enough for me. Besides, you’re going to be a bestselling author, I’ve got enough kids around here to take care of.”
A timer sounded in the kitchen and the two younger children emerged as though they knew they’d been mentioned.
“Are you guys done on the phone, Daddy?” Mia whispered.
“All done,” Rob said, waving Mia and Judah into the room. “Now it’s all about the two of you. What do you want to do first—library or park?”
Judah turned slowly as though he’d heard something. Karol had thought she’d heard someone pull up or drive away many times in the days since Neal had left, but it was often just her imagination. This time, though, it might her neighbors, bringing her son back home.
“Is that Ryan?” she asked following Judah to the window.
“Nope,” he said. “It’s Number Two and Pops. I guess we’re going back to the museum. I wish Fay-Ray were here.”
Karol pinched her eyes shut. “Me, too, Judah. Me, too.”
“You’re going to have to build us a mother-in-law suite as often as we’re coming down here,” Faith said with a voice that made Karol wonder if she was kidding.
“If you’re serious, Mom, let me know and we’ll start building. There’s another two acres still to be cleared in the back lot,” Rob said in his best project-starting voice. He meant it, too.
I love that man.
Before Faith could talk her way out of it, Eric reached out and shook his son-in-law’s hand. “Are you serious, son? Because if you are, maybe we should talk about it.”
Rob embraced his wife’s father. “Let’s pray about it, too.”
Eric nodded in understanding. “Most definitely. Since our last visit to your church, I have to say that God has been turning our lives upside down. One of the reasons I’m asking about a cottage or something here is that we’re really considering selling our place in Buckhead and doing some traveling—”
“We haven’t decided anything yet, Eric. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Anyway, we didn’t come for that. We came to celebrate…again.”
Mia walked into the center of everyone and twirled her skirt. “You came for me, Number Two? For my recital?” She’d started praise dance classes at the church and her first performance was in a few days.
Faith shook her head. “No, not yet. We’ll be back for your birthday, though, don’t worry. We came to celebrate Mommy. Fay-Ray called us and told us that Dyanne’s boss is going to publish your book—”
Oh, brother. “It’s not exactly like that, Mom.” Karol paused a moment to see if her mother would let her greeting slide by as easily as Rob’s had. Faith’s smile tightened, but she made no other move to correct her daughter. Faith didn’t sound as though she was ready to go on a mission trip quite yet but something was definitely going on.
Eric looked disappointed. “Oh, no? Faye made it sound as though it were a done deal. Said the president—”
“Publisher,” Karol corrected.
“Whatever. The head of the company called up and offered you a deal. What’s the problem, Karol? You’ve been writing books since you were four years old. Words are what you love. When you were fourteen and keeping that rat’s nest of paper under your bed and you refused to throw it away, I believe your argument was that you made sense on paper. Has all that changed?”
For a man who didn’t talk much, Karol’s father suddenly had a lot to say. Maybe too much. Judah and Mia looked quite amused at the little scolding Karol’s father was giving her. Even Rob had some kind of goofy I-totally-agree look on his face.
“That hasn’t changed, Dad. I still make sense on paper. I’ve just learned how to make sense other places, too. I’m not saying I won’t take the deal or anything. I’m just saying that I won’t get all caught up in it and drive myself crazy like I did last time.”
Ouch. She’d said it. Until now, even Karol had missed it. When the possibility of publication came before, Karol had thrown herself into it with everything she had—and some things she didn’t have—only to have her hopes dashed when the company went out of business six months before her release date.
The differences between that small publishing house and what Karol was being offered now was huge, but underneath it all she knew better than to truly trust anything or anyone in the publishing game. She’d been down this road before.
Trust Me.
Rob smoothed over the silences. “Well, whatever you’re here for, come on in.”
Once inside, Karol sent the children off with her father and invited Faith to the kitchen table to talk.
“So you talked to Faye, huh? Have you all been keeping in touch?”
Faith picked imaginary lint off her summer sweater. This was going to be a long morning.
“They’re fine. In fact, we just talked to them today.”
“Great. Where are they headed next?”
Faith frowned. “They didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what? I talked to them at the airport this morning. They were seeing off Dyanne and Neal. Ryan is with them, too. Where did you talk to them?”
“They’re getting married. On a Ferris wheel or something crazy. I’m sure Faye will have mangoes in her bouquet, too. They’re something else. I don’t know if I’d do it again at this age, but they definitely are happy. I say more power to them.”
Karol threw her head back and laughed. “Me, too, Mom. Me, too.”
The first time Karol had seen Dyanne arrive next door, she’d been very unhappy about it. When the rental car drove up this time and Dyanne got out, Karol had very different feelings.
Ryan ran to his parents and clutched them around the waist. He had a big smile, but the red streaks in his eyes told the rest of the story. Sending him along may not have been the best idea, but they’d all learned something.
“Thank you for letting me go. I learned so much. When you go on tour, Mom, I’ll know how everything is supposed to go—”
“We’re just glad you’re safe,” Karol said, holding her son close. Her eyes, however, were on her neighbor, gingerly exiting the car.
Rob took Ryan by the shoulder and hugged him to his side. “Go on, Kay. Talk to her.”
She swallowed hard and stepped across the grass, no longer noticing the line that marked their two properties. The manicured grass had settled back into its natural pattern and the wildflowers the landscapers had so diligently pulled up were starting to bloom. From the look on Dyanne’s face, she was starting to bloom, too.
Neal waved to Karol and started over to Rob and Ryan. The younger children had been occupied inside with their grandparents, but at the sight of Neal, Mia came squealing out of the house and bounding into his arms.
“There you are!” she screamed, making everyone laugh.
Karol and Dyanne stared at each other for a long time, both with satisfied, yet sad smiles.
“I’m sorry I pushed you to go. I’m sorry about everything. I got it wrong, but I meant the best.”
Dyanne shook her head. “No, I’m glad I went. I got to see my old doctor and some of the things at the start of the tour really did require my presence. Now that Dad sees how things work, I think he’ll be able to handle Fallon from here on out.”
I’ll say, Karol thought.
“About those two. You might want to give them a call once you’re settled.”
“Any reason? Is something wrong?”
“I wouldn’t say that. Just give them a call.”
Dyanne raised an eyebrow. She rested back against the car.
Neal stopped midsentence and kissed Mia’s cheek. “Miss Dyanne is going to be a mommy. I have to take her inside so that she can rest. Do you understand?”
Mia nodded furiously. When Neal walked off, the little girl began to clap her hands. “They’re starting a new tree, Daddy!”
Rob swallowed and waved for Karol to come home. “Yes, baby. A new tree. Isn’t that wonderful?”
Mom's the Word Page 20
