by Ellis, J. J.
“Okay, you know I’m not a doctor and I can’t officially diagnose Miranda. A developmental specialist would have to do so.”
“Yeah, I understand that,” he acknowledged
“Alright, it is my opinion that she has something called Asperger’s syndrome.” She paused to let Russell get a feel for the words that were probably foreign to him.
He mulled over what Emily had just said. He had never heard of Asperger’s Syndrome before and he wanted to know what it was, but the question he voiced aloud was, “What’s the cure?”
“There really isn’t a cure, Russell. Asperger’s syndrome is a high functioning form of autism.” Emily was using her gentle, quiet counselor’s voice so it came as quite a shock when Russell’s voice became loud and angry.
“No. You’re wrong. Autistic kids don’t talk, they don’t function. My second cousin has autism. Miranda does not have autism!”
“Russell, a lot of people don’t know this, but there are quite a few forms of autism. Some are high functioning and some are low functioning, and then there are some forms that are non-functioning. I really don’t think I’m wrong about this. But you can always take her to a developmental specialist. I know one in Denver. She’s one of the best in the field.” Emily handed him the packet of research she’d put together. “Look, you’re obviously really upset, so I won’t go over everything with you right now. It’s all here in the packet though. If you have any questions just call me or stop by tonight. And Dr. Jacobs’s card is stapled to the inside of that packet. Give her office a call and…”
Russell jumped out of his seat and grabbed his jacket. He was at the door before Emily knew what was happening. “You know what?” he said in a loud, seething voice as he opened her office door. “You are insane...you are a quack! You are a flat-out nut case. You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about and I want you to stay away from me and my daughter from now on!” The office door slammed behind him.
Emily looked on, shocked silent. When her heart started beating normally again she looked up and Mary the school secretary was standing there.
“Didn’t go too well huh, Emily?”
“No, it didn’t go well at all. He’ll come around though.” She gave Mary a weak smile. “I hope.”
*********
Russell stormed out of the school and went straight to his vehicle. Slamming the door, he tossed the packet the ‘school counselor’ had given him onto the passenger seat and beat his hands against the steering wheel. He didn’t know if he could even face work today. He’d probably fire everyone who crossed his path. He dug his cell phone out of his pocket and called the theater. His assistant managers would have to hold down the fort for one day. The only place he was headed was home to talk to his mother about the so-called professional counselor she and her school board were allowing to corrupt their children.
**********
“Mother!” Russell was even angrier now that he’d had the ride home to think about things. What the hell did Emily Zane think she was doing, pulling disorders out of a hat and doling them out to whoever the hell she felt like? “Mother!”
“What is it Russell? Is Miranda okay?” Evelyn practically flew down the stairs.
“What? Oh, yeah, she is fine - for now. Are you still on the school board?”
“Uh, yes...yes I am. Why?” Evelyn felt as confused as she looked.
“Mom, you need to call an emergency meeting. Emily Zane needs to be relieved of her position and you need to recommend to the State Board that she lose her license.”
“What?” Evelyn raised her voice which was really rare. “Russell Harper, Emily is good at what she does. Why on earth would I go to the board? Have you completely lost your mind?”
“No, but that...that woman has. She had the gall to tell me that Miranda has autism. Can you believe that? Miranda is nothing like Cousin Billy. That woman went off the deep end when she lost those kids in Seattle.” Russell was still yelling and was getting more upset by the minute.
“Well, first of all, I don’t know what you meant about Seattle, and I don’t want to hear it from you. Second, her ideas don’t sound quite right, I’ll give you that. But surely she told you why she thinks Miranda has autism. Did it sound even remotely possible?”
Russell looked at his shoes. Why did his mom always have to be so sharp?
“Answer me, Son. Did she give you reasons or not?”
“Well, not exactly. I didn’t really give her much of a chance to talk...”
“Russell Ethan Harper, I know you know better than to act like that. What got into you?” The disappointment was evident on Evelyn’s face.
“I, well, I… It just didn’t seem right, Ma. Emily did say there are high functioning forms of Autism but if that is true, why haven’t I heard of it?’
“Son, you are not even close to being a medical genius. Maybe it is something new or rare or…?”
“Okay, okay Ma, I get your point.” His anger was finally completely deflated and he was starting to feel a bit stupid.
Evelyn continued with her mini-lecture though. “Good, then you need to go back to that school and hear Emily out.”
“Ah Ma, I just can’t talk to her right now. I called her all sorts of names and told her to stay away from us. I don’t think it’s a good idea if I see her right now. She probably wouldn’t even come out of her office for me.”
Evelyn just shook her head at her son. “You at least need to sit down at the computer and do some research. And then you need to call Emily and apologize for your behavior. Maybe even take her some flowers or something.”
“Yeah, you are right Ma. I need to find out for sure what is going on with my baby. I guess I’ll go boot up the computer… wait, she gave me a packet of the research she did on Miranda. I think maybe I should start there.”
“Good idea Russell and keep an open mind. Please!” she begged.
“I will, Ma. I will,” Russell murmured, heading out to his SUV to get the packet of papers that he’d left on the passenger seat. His mom called him back.
“You know, Russell, you always talk about curing what ails Miranda. If Emily had told you that your daughter had something with a cure do you think you would have acted the same way?”
Russell stared at his boots for a long time and then looked up at his mother. “Point taken Ma.”
“There might not be a cure for what is going on with Miranda, Son, but everything will be okay if we stick together. I just know it. And that little girl needs Emily Zane in her life too.”
“I know, thanks Ma.” He hugged her and kissed her cheek and then was gone.
***********
Russell sat in his SUV, almost scared to read the information Emily had given him. One word on the first page caught his interest…psychiatrist. His uncle was a shrink, so why hadn’t he said anything. Shouldn’t he have noticed something in all those years? Russell was going to find out. He pulled his phone out and dialed his Uncle Ethan in Nevada.
“Hello, nephew. How are things in Harper’s Rock?”
“Fine. I think. I have a question to ask you.”
Ethan could hear the seriousness in his voice. “Okay. This sounds important. Go on.”
Russell got out of his truck and started to pace the front yard. “Why didn’t you ever see that Miranda showed signs of autism? Isn’t that something you are trained to do?”
“Yes, I’ve had the basics of training. I don’t work with autistic kids at all though, so I haven’t done anything in-depth.”
Russell laughed bitterly. “So does that mean you never noticed…”
“I never said that,” Ethan cut in. “I saw it and I mentioned it to you and Vivienne several times. You, and especially she, never seemed to want to listen. I even suggested some fellow doctors when you came to me the last time. When you were at your breaking point about how hard it was to raise Miranda on your own.”
“Damn it!” Russell grunted. “I thought you were talking about doctor
s for me to see, to help deal with the stress. What the hell was I thinking?”
“Well, in the earlier instances when I suggested that we talk about what may be wrong with your daughter, Vivienne always interrupted and wrapped you up in her warped world. By the time I saw you again, you had forgotten everything I told you. And that last time, you were so stressed out I don’t think you truly heard a word I said. It was frustrating as hell to try to get through to you…and to Miranda’s school. They wouldn’t listen either.”
Russell breathed in and out steadily several times. “I’m sorry, Uncle Cowboy. I feel like such a damn idiot.”
“Don’t even go there, boy. You were wrapped up in a psychotic woman’s world for so long you forgot how to think for yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”
“It sure as hell feels like it is. I have to go, Uncle. I have some research to do and some apologies to make.”
Ethan chuckled. “I can only imagine. We miss you here, kid. I’ll see you when I come up there for hunting season.”
“Sure thing,” Russell said on automatic pilot. He hung up the phone and walked to his SUV to grab the packet of information. It was research time.
**********
Seven hours after barging into his mother’s house yelling and screaming, Russell stood up from his desk and stretched. He now felt like a complete and utter fool. It seems that Miss Emily Zane knew what she was talking about. The anti-social behaviors, the tantrums, the single minded focus on reading and dressing and undressing her dolls instead of playing with them normally, the lack of interest in hygiene, the problems with feeling elastic on her skin and peas on her tongue, the high intelligence...it all made sense now. Miranda showed major signs of Asperger syndrome, a high functioning form of Autism. First thing after dinner he was going to have to go apologize to Emily. He was probably going to have to get on his hands and knees and beg for her forgiveness. How could he have been such a huge jerk?
It was approaching three o’clock and Miranda would be banging through the front door at any time. Since his mom had gone in to work for him, Russell needed to be downstairs when she arrived. Only this time there was no banging or happy laughter like there had been recently. The old sullen Miranda walked through the door at eight minutes after three.
“Hey sweetie, how was your day?” Russell could tell by the look on her face and the way she walked that something was wrong, but he acted as if everything was okay, trying to break her out of her funk.
“I hate you. And Miss Emily too!” she cried, bursting into tears and heading for the stairs. “I wish I had never been born.”
“What? Miranda sweetie, what’s wrong? What happened at school today?”
“Don’t ever talk to me again!” The next thing Russell heard was the slamming of her bedroom door. An hour later, he had gotten no farther than the hallway outside her room. He’d tried to bribe her, cajole her, and make her laugh but nothing worked. She just cried and refused to talk to him. He didn’t know what else to do so he called his mother to see if she had any ideas. Her only solution was to put the assistant managers back in charge and hurry home. It only took her fifteen minutes.
“Russell, how is she? How long did you say she was like this?”
“Over an hour now Ma. I just don’t know what else to do. She said she hates me and Emily and won’t say another word.”
“Let me try to talk to her Russell, go down stairs and order some Chinese food from Dragon Garden, and hopefully I will have her down stairs by the time the food gets here.”
“I don’t know Ma, don’t you think I should stay here? I am her father.” Russell could not imagine what he had done to make Miranda hate him so much. When he’d left her at her classroom that morning she’d actually given him a hug goodbye.
“You seem to be the one causing her frustration, Russell. Just let me see what I can do. Please.”
“Okay Ma,” he sighed in resignation. “But I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” And then he walked slowly down to the first floor trying to figure out what was going on. She was prone to mood swings granted, but there was always a clear cut reason, even if it wasn’t a good reason.
On automatic pilot, he ordered all of her favorite Chinese foods from the local restaurant and settled himself at the bottom of the stairs to wait for news from his mom. About five minutes later he got the answer to his questions and they scared him to death.
“I guess a kid from her class overheard your blow up with Emily Zane this morning and told her about it. She’s sad that she can’t see Emily anymore and she’s mad at both of you for fighting.” Evelyn informed him. “Russell, I’m worried. Has she ever gone through episodes of depression or anxiety before?”
“What, you mean like Ben used to have?” Russell was puzzled, he didn’t know what his mom was trying to get at.
“Yeah, exactly like your late brother,” she choked out.
His first instinct was to say hell no, but he took the time to stop and think. He’d jumped to too many conclusions already today. “Well, yeah, I guess so Ma. I mean, never as severe as Ben, but yeah, she does get depressed. Especially about how mean kids are to her, you know, and about not having friends and stuff like that.” He put his fingers to his temple and rubbed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer to his next question or not. “Why do you ask, Ma?
“Well sweetie, I think she’s suffering from depression and anxiety too. She is just sitting there rocking back and forth, crying and saying that everyone would be better off if she lived somewhere else. If I were you I would call Emily and ask her advice. I’ve never seen my granddaughter like this before.”
“Yeah good idea Ma. I’m going to go call Emily now. Here’s my wallet, the delivery guy should be here soon. See if you can convince Miranda to eat.”
Russell decided to try the school first not thinking about what time it was. But the phone just rang and rang. He tried Emily’s cell phone but didn’t get an answer there either. Finally he looked in his mom’s address book and found her home number. She picked up obviously out of breath. “Hello?”
“Emily, it’s Russell. Listen, I know I have a lot to apologize for, but that is going to have to wait. Something is up with Miranda and it is really scaring us.” His words came out in a rush.
“Okay Russell, slow down and tell me what’s going on.” Emily was concerned but kept her professional cool until she knew all the details.
Russell told her the story of what had happened thus far and ended with his concerns about his daughter being depressed, especially the part where she’d said she wished she wasn’t a burden to them.
“Okay, you know she’s not going to believe anything either of us has to say until she calms herself down and is ready to listen. We could tell her that we are still friends and that she can still see me until we are blue in the face and she isn’t going to believe us until she snaps out of this episode. It is a classic Asperger trait.”
“I know, Emily. I’ve been doing a lot of research today and, well, I believe you’re right about Miranda. I’m so sorry I went off on you like that. I feel like such an idiot for not listening to you. I just didn’t want to admit that my baby had an incurable problem.”
“It’s okay Russell, you aren’t the first upset parent I’ve dealt with. It’s all water under the bridge. Let’s concentrate on Miranda now.”
“Thank you so much, he whispered. “I take it you’re willing to help us then?”
“Of course I’m going to help her, and you too. First thing is first, we need to snap her out of her episode, but sometimes that isn’t that easy. Wait a second, you have horses on the property!”
“Yeah, a few. Why?” Russell couldn’t imagine what on earth horses would have to do with snapping Miranda out of her episode.
“Well, sometimes animals do wonderful things with autistic children. But I think it’s too dark to take her out to the horses right now. Does anyone who lives here on the ranch have a puppy or other small pet?”
“Good, call him and get him over there right away. The sooner the better. We don’t want her anxiety getting out of hand. We need to snap her out of the episode as soon as possible so we can explain to her what really happened.”
“Thanks Emily. Could you please come over here and help us? I’m not sure what to do with the pup when she gets here.”
Emily laughed. “Of course, I’ll be right there. My car died pulling into the driveway, but I can walk over. Be there in a few.” She didn’t even say goodbye, she just hung up and headed straight to the main house.
Russell hung up the phone and called his brother who promised he would be over within ten minutes with Rizzy in tow.
Twenty minutes later everyone was assembled in the living room and the plan was put into action. Evelyn would take Rizzy upstairs to Miranda and let the puppy go in the doorway and see what happened. Emily, Russell and Dylan would wait in the hallway. Evelyn counted to three and opened the door, setting Rizzy on the floor. The puppy headed straight to the little girl who now was laying silently on the floor. The puppy stopped about six inches from her and whimpered. She then crawled over to Miranda and rested her sweet little Rottweiler head on the girl’s side. Everyone was watching from the doorway when Miranda came to life again. She sat up, grabbed the pup and hugged her until she squirmed. Then she looked up at the group in the doorway and smiled.
Now Emily had her opening to talk to Miranda about what had happened at school that day. She and Russell worked together to make sure that she knew that she could still see Emily and that Russell had just been angry when he said she couldn’t. Emily made sure to emphasize that even if she couldn’t always be Miranda’s counselor, that she would always be her friend. By six o’clock, the whole group was down at the dinner table eating warmed up Chinese food. Even Rizzy was there, asleep at Miranda’s feet.
