Loving Lilly

by J. M. Madden

  She had apparently called ahead because a housekeeper in blue jeans and a blouse met them when they walked in. Andrea welcomed Winnie home and led them into the immense kitchen where an appetizer feast had been laid out upon the massive marble island. “I have chicken in the oven which will be ready in about ten minutes.”

  They relaxed for about an hour and had a fabulous meal. When Winnie offered both he and Lilly a room for the night, Diego was sorely tempted but he didn’t want to impose. He’d driven a long time tonight and his head throbbed. He also noticed his depth perception going a little off. At one point during the meal he’d misjudged where to set his water glass and had almost dumped the entire thing. He’d caught it in time but it had been close. When he had to use his single eye for a long, concentrated amount of time it tired more quickly than if he would have had two good eyes.

  “We would love to, Winnie, if it’s no problem,” Lilly accepted.

  The older woman waved her concerns away. “Absolutely! We’ve got plenty of room in this big old place. I expected you to anyway. Andrea has already set up a couple of rooms.”

  Diego felt a little strange staying in the house, but Lilly had spoken up before he’d had a chance to. It would be safer for them to stay anyway, he decided. As soon as Andrea offered to show him the room he grabbed his bag, made his excuses to Lilly and Winnie and headed to bed.

  The bedroom was gorgeous, as he’d expected. Diego sent off a text to Grif that they were staying at Winnie’s house then flicked on the TV. But the flashing light of the screen was too much for his vision. He turned it off again. Tossing his jeans and shirt on top of his pack, he retrieved his iPad and slid into the bed. At least he could dim the brightness of the tablet screen.

  Lilly’s comments about his naked chest came back to him, as well as the feel of her soft hands. Goosebumps erupted across his skin and arousal heated his blood.

  There’s nothing to be done about it Pirate man. Get over it.

  But the arousal dogged him. Rolling over onto his belly he turned the iPad on and lost himself in training videos. At some point he fell asleep.

  Lilly had been given the room across the hall from his. At about eleven he heard her door open and close, then it was quiet. He had just about drifted back off to sleep when there was a quiet knock at his door.

  Diego knew who stood outside. His heart began to thud.

  Lilly opened the door and stood silhouetted in the subtle light from the hallway. She had that gauzy nightdress on again and as Diego sat up he had to swallow. Every luscious inch of her was backlit. She had a perfect hourglass shape, her hips cocked a little as the toes of one foot dug into the thick carpet.

  “I’m sorry to bother you but I wanted to make sure you were doing okay. It looked like you had something bothering you before you turned in.”

  Diego frowned at the concern he could hear in her voice. “I’m fine. Just a tension headache from the drive.”

  “Ah, okay. I’m sorry if I contributed to it.”

  Grinning a bit in the dark room he shook his head, hoping she could see him but not his pounding heart. He twisted over and snapped on the bedside light, then did a quick check to make sure his eye patch was in position. “It wasn’t you. Just one of those things left over from an injury. You kept me awake, actually, on that damn never-ending road. I appreciate that.”

  Lilly took a step further into the room and he got a whiff of her scent. Just showered, she smelled of expensive soap and shampoo, and clean woman. Diego felt his stomach contract with longing. He wanted to curl up with her, love her, be held in the night by her. For the first time he wanted to be with someone that wanted him.

  That wasn’t the smartest of decisions though.

  “You appreciated me teasing you about being a pirate?” She took another step into the room, slowly. Her shadowed eyes ran down his chest. “Wow,” she sighed. “You really are bare.”

  In spite of himself Diego grinned. “Not totally.”

  “And tattooed,” she sighed.

  Before he could move or cover up, she stepped forward, inspecting his chest. Warm fingers drifted over his skin and he knew he was in serious trouble. One fingernail scraped over his nipple and he jerked. When they drifted down his abs, finding the light trail of black hair to his groin, she jerked her hand back before she reached the puddle of blankets in his lap. In the soft light from the bedside lamp Diego thought he saw her pale cheeks redden. Her breasts lifted with her rapid breathing.

  “Yes, you do have some hair,” she whispered.

  And I want to follow it all the way down. And, oh hell, the tattoos…

  “And is that a dragon?” Her touch drifted over the crest of the tattoo on his right pectoral.

  Diego cleared his throat and nodded. “Yes, a Chinese dragon. I got it years ago when I thought I was invincible.”

  Lilly pulled her hand away, not knowing how to proceed. She knew what she wanted but she wasn’t brazen enough to rip the blankets away and tackle him. Some part of her prayed that Diego would take up where she left off, maybe pull the blankets back and invite her in. But as the seconds stretched out the situation began to grow uncomfortable. She had offered him her bed the other night and he had rebuffed her. She refused to do it again.

  Then she caught sight of a round, puckered scar on his right chest, just below his clavicle. “Is that a gunshot wound?”

  Diego’s fingers found the scar automatically. “Yeah. One of them.”

  She reached out again, curious about the scar. He tolerated her touch but didn’t encourage it. Instead, the expression on his face turned ferocious.

  Heart aching she began to turn away, but he reached out and grabbed her hand. Then he shoved the blankets away and stepped up out of the bed. Lilly froze, afraid to hope that he was naked. But she was profoundly disappointed when she caught sight of the black boxer-briefs he wore.

  “I’m not a good prospect for you, Lilly. I’m not one of the pretty men who surround you.”

  She shook her head, smiling slightly. “Don’t you get it, Diego? That’s why I want you.”

  He scowled, looking away, and she could tell he didn’t believe her.

  “You romanticize this,” he waved a hand at the right side of his face, anger overwhelming the desire she thought she had seen. “This isn’t a cool look I came up with. This is what I was left with after I was blown up in a Humvee.”

  Lilly winced at the unfair attack. “I’m not romanticizing your injury. I know it was traumatic for you; it still is even. I see the tension in you when you get around people. And all the times you stand as if you’re holding your gun. You almost dropped your water glass tonight because you’re tired. But I would never make light of something that affected you so drastically.”

  The look on his face was hard, but she didn’t know how to change his mind about her.

  If he thought so little of her maybe she shouldn’t try to change his mind. Lilly pulled at her hand but he didn’t let her go.

  “I can give you a good fuck,” he told her firmly, “but nothing more.”

  The words slammed into her with their brutality but they didn’t thrill her like she hoped. Yes, she wanted to make love with him, but not be fucked by him. Angry tears filled her eyes but she refused to let them fall. “That’s not what I’m looking for.” She jerked her hand out of his and turned for the door. “You’re trying to reduce this to some quick fuck in your mind, easing a scratch, but we’re both better than that. I’ve felt your gaze follow me for the past year, Diego. I know you’re as interested in me as I am you. I’m looking for long term and I thought you were it. If you’re this hung up on protecting yourself, though, I’ll let you. Goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  * * *

  Diego watched her leave, his heart aching at the sight of her tears. He’d been an ass. Lilly had never hurt him or even hinted at any kind of pity or disgust. He didn’t actually think she’d ever romanticized his injury. The words had just been thrown
at her to try to protect himself. She was completely right. A few more seconds and they would have been in bed. Then he would have truly been in a conundrum. Her soft, feminine appeal already drew him more than any other woman ever had. And as crazy as it seemed, she appeared to genuinely want him, scars, tattoos, fucked up face and all.

  The thought of sleeping with Lilly was both thrilling and terrifying. If he let her in, there would be no getting her out.

  Would that be such a terrible thing?

  Diego sat on the edge of the bed and propped his hands on his knees. Need still dogged him, but it was more than physical. When she’d reached around that car seat from behind, almost in a hug, he’d been content. Yes, she’d aroused him but another part of his psyche relished her simple nearness. Diego knew he was a loner, but strangely, the thought of walking through life with Lilly at his side was not at all alarming.

  Then he realized what he’d said to her. Offering a woman who’d been raped a quick fuck. “You fucking idiot,” he hissed into the room.

  True nausea turned his stomach. That had to have been the most disgusting thing he’d ever said to anyone.

  He owed her a huge apology. Striding through the bedroom and across the hallway, he knocked lightly on her door. When there was no response he eased it open. Lilly stood across the room, her back to him, looking out over the city. Moonlight shining in the window made her look ethereal. She did not acknowledge his presence.

  Walking forward through the cool room he stopped just behind her. “Lilly,” he whispered.

  Sighing, her shoulders slumping, she turned her head slightly. “What do you want, Diego? I heard you the first time. You didn’t have to come pound it home.”

  He winced at her words. “I came to tell you I was sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things and I certainly shouldn’t have lashed out at you. I was just…” he paused, then decided to just lay it on the line. “Damn it, the things I feel for you scare me. Turn around so I can see your face.”

  After a moment she turned and he felt like the meanest kind of ass all over again. Tears stained her cheeks and her eyes were swollen. She sniffed and wiped her eyes. Diego crossed to the nightstand and grabbed a handful of tissues, handing them to her.

  “I shouldn’t have said anything to you like that. Especially with your history.”

  She blinked at him. “The rape, you mean?” She shrugged her shoulders, giving him a sad smile. “I don’t remember anything about it. I was in a bar celebrating my twenty-first birthday and I got a little tipsy. There was a guy there that had been hanging around us that night. He brought me a drink and that was all I remember. I woke up the next morning in a nasty-ass motel room feeling used. I could tell I had had sex, but couldn’t remember anything about it. Couldn’t remember him. I tried to file a report but the cops wouldn’t even consider it. Since I’d been drinking and partying it basically got swept under the rug. The whole incident was infuriating and degrading, but I learned my lesson. Believe it or not, I didn’t plan on drinking that champagne Ray handed me.”

  A huge knot of tension eased in his gut. “I still shouldn’t have said that though. I do apologize.”

  Then he opened his arms to her.

  For several long seconds she didn’t move and he thought he had screwed up too much to be forgiven. But she was a more magnanimous woman than that. She walked into his arms, burrowing her head just under his chin.

  “You’re a pain in my ass,” she told him quietly.

  Diego grinned, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

  They stood like that for several minutes and he felt content. No, not completely content, but more than he’d felt in a long time, if ever.

  His body was feeling decidedly un-content, though. Diego knew the exact second Lilly noticed his arousal.

  Tension and an incredible awareness crept into the room. He felt every breath she pulled and every pump of blood through her body. When she pressed her hips a millimeter closer to his own, he felt it. He tilted her face up, glad to see she was no longer crying. Looking into her eyes, he told her, “I’m very sorry for hurting you. It was inexcusable, but I hope you’ll forgive me.”

  Without saying a word she eased up onto her tiptoes, pressing her lips to his. “I forgive you but you’d better not do it again.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he murmured, catching her lips again.

  Lilly moaned when he kissed her. It was one of the most cock-hardening sounds he could ever remember hearing, because it meant she was excited by him.

  There were so many emotions crashing through Diego’s body he didn’t know what to deal with first. The physical desire was quickly obscuring rational thought. “I want…”

  His voice trailed off because he couldn’t articulate exactly what he needed from her. Love and attention, yes, but something more as well. Diego had a feeling that he could love her all night, over and over again, and it wouldn’t be enough. “I want to love you like I’ve been dreaming of for the past year.”

  Lilly pulled back enough to look him in the face. She searched his expression for several long seconds, then nodded. “That’s what I want too.”

  Diego crushed her mouth under his own, sealing the words between them. Without giving her time to reconsider, he pulled her body flush against his. The erection he’d already been fighting caught fire, hardening against her soft lower belly. Cupping her hips he moved against her, letting her know exactly what was going to happen.

  Lilly seemed more than ready. If there had been any hint of hesitation or fear he would have pulled back, but just then one of her hands reached between their bodies and cupped him through his boxers. She squeezed, working her hand from base to tip. Pulling away, grinning, she led him to the bed. When she paused and began to open the buttons on the front of her gown, Diego thought he was going to explode. Her pale, exquisite flesh was revealed so slowly, inch by glorious inch. The need to reach out and rip the thin fabric was almost more than he could control. Instead, he teased every inch she exposed. When her fingers flicked the buttons below the line of her breasts, Diego used one finger to part the fabric enough to expose her hard nipple. The dark pink tip, flushed with blood, was a bold contrast to her pale skin.

  Smiling slightly he brushed his fingers over the milky smoothness of her chest. “Do you shave?”

  It took her a minute to get the joke, but when she did she burst out laughing and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pressed her nose into his neck and seemed to inhale him. “I do,” she whispered. “Every day. Otherwise it gets out of control.”

  Grinning, he dropped a kiss to her temple. “Hmmm. I could see where that would be a problem. You better keep that shit under control. It would wound my ego terribly if you had more chest hair than I did.”

  They giggled together like children at the silliness of their conversation, but soon enough the need rushed back. Lilly unfastened the last few buttons of her nightgown and let it drop to the floor. Diego could have wept at her beauty.

  Though she’d been out of the modeling business for years, Lilly kept her body in trim shape. Yes, her hips and breasts had filled out a bit from what he remembered on the videos, but he personally thought she was more beautiful now. Full breasts, narrow waist, womanly hips. The patch of black hair at the apex of her thighs had been trimmed into a slim strip, almost directing him where to go. Unable to help himself, Diego gave in to the compulsion. First, he teased at the hair there, then he slipped one finger into the folds of her sex. Thick, welling moisture met his touch, telling him more eloquently than anything how much she wanted him.

  Her readiness sent a sharp spear of need through his cock. Circling his finger in her wetness he found the hot button of her need. She jerked every time he circled it, until she was rocking against his hand and panting against his neck. “God, Diego, you’re going to make me come just like this.”

  That sounded fine to him. They had a long way to go tonight and he had a lot of ground to make up for hurting her. His mouth swallo
wed hers, tongue invading the recesses of her mouth. The raw sexuality between them was so much more than he expected. He timed his kisses to coincide with the movements of his finger.

  The twitching of her body sped up in time with his touch until she ripped her mouth from his and gave a high, keening cry as the orgasm crashed over her. Diego caught her against him as her legs gave out. He lowered Lilly to the bed, then leaned back enough to watch the aftershocks shudder through her. She was glorious in her release, dark hair mussed around her head, her cheeks pinkened.

  When she held a hand out to him he needed no further encouragement. Lilly’s eyes widened when he shucked his boxers, letting his erection spring free. “Oh, damn,” she sighed, opening her arms to him.

  Diego lowered himself to her. They shuffled to get the blankets out of the way then he settled between her thighs, snug in the cradle of her hips. “Do I need a condom?”

  Lilly paused, blinking up at him. “I’m protected and I’m not very sexually active, so I’m clean.”

  “I’m clean as well. Haven’t been with anyone in a long while.”

  “Then what are you waiting for?”

  The words had no sooner left her mouth than he was pushing into the depths of her body.

  Lilly was still quaking from the first orgasm, so when Diego pushed his veined thickness into her, he also pushed her right back to the edge. As her body accommodated his, stretching for his girth, she wondered where the hell he’d been all her life. They fit together like two pieces from the same puzzle. And if his just sliding into her set her off so easily, she wanted to do it all the time.

  As he started to rock against her, hips moving smoothly, she wrapped her arms around his muscular shoulders and lifted her mouth up for a kiss. Diego felt like a man who hadn’t been intimate in a long time. Every move she made at his mouth he echoed, and his excitement fed hers. Clit tingling she tilted her hips up so that he could plunge deeper.