"You okay, Sweets?" Ave asks.
"I … I think so," I stammer and return to the table, where I sit down without a word. I stare at my plate of food and eat it, equally mute.
They praise my cooking.
"We could use a cook here. Are you up for that, Camille?" Ave asks.
I shake my head and look at him. "What?"
"Would you be up for the job of house chef? This lasagna was really awesome," he repeats.
"I … no," I answer and get up. Mechanically, I stack the empty plates and carry them into the kitchen.
"I'll do the dishes," Avery announces, jumps up and joins me next to the sink. He pushes me aside. "I'll take care of that, Sweets. Go to bed. You look tired."
"Okay," I agree and leave the kitchen to go into Delsin's room.
He follows me and takes a t-shirt from his closet. "I think we have some extra toothbrushes in the bathroom cabinet," he tells me.
"Thanks, Delsin." I take the shirt as he hands it to me. Then he guides me to the bathroom.
"You don't look well, Camille," he says in a quiet voice.
"I'm fine," I lie. Fact is, Thalia has given me a bad fright. Even though it was only an act, it reminded me of something that happened a long time ago. Not a good memory, and something I have rarely told anyone. The reason why I do not have a boyfriend. The reason why I want to wait for the right one, before I give away my virginity. I step into the bathroom, close the door behind me, and pull the scrunchie from my hair. It falls over my shoulders in soft brown waves, but I don't really notice. I splash cold water on my face, trying to clear my head, but it doesn't help all that much.
Dressed in Delsin's t-shirt, I leave the bathroom and return to his room. He is putting sheets on the sofa. "I can sleep on the couch," I say quietly.
He gives a start. "Good heavens, Camille! I didn't hear you come in."
"I'm sorry. But really, you take the bed, I take the couch," I suggest.
He shakes his head. "No, no. It's alright. I take the couch, even if that means a sore back."
"Then … let's both sleep in the bed. It is large enough for the two of us, and you promised you wouldn't touch me," I negotiate.
He sighs. "Are you sure? What if I lay closer to you than you're comfortable with?"
"I can live with that."
His lips curve into a sexy smile. If I didn't know better, I would think he is trying to flirt with me.
I walk over to the bed and lie down. Of course I keep my eyes on Delsin, who folds the sheets and puts them away. "I'm going to take a shower and then I'll come to bed as well. I'll be quiet, in case you fall asleep fast."
"Okay," I nod. Then I turn on the side that will face him when he'll be lying next to me. I close my eyes.
"Good night, Camille. Sweet dreams."
"You, too," I murmur. As soon as the door closes, I see the memory before my eyes, like a movie reel: He strikes out at me. I see it in slow motion. It happened shortly before my accident. Kieran was clever; he only hit me where my clothes would hide the traces. Never in my face, always in my chest or my stomach. Sometimes even in my abdomen. "Oh please, dear god, make it stop," I murmur, violently rubbing my eyes. I won't be so stupid ever again. I will not fall for some jerk again. Never again. One sheep, two sheep, three sheep, I try to count in my head, because I don't want to remember. For a long while, I had kept the memories at bay, and it was not a problem, but Thalia brought it all back with her call.
Counting sheep really is making me sleepy and finally, I fall asleep.
***
In the middle of the night – at least that is what it feels like – I suddenly wake up and sit up with a jerky motion. I am drenched in sweat. I gently pat the bed searching for my alarm clock, but instead, I feel skin. I give a start. "Where am I?" I murmur.
"Camille?" a voice says.
"Yes?" I reply, feeling lost.
"Why are you awake?" he grumbles and turns on the bedside lamp.
After my eyes have had the chance to adjust to the sudden light, I recognize Delsin. "A weird dream."
"Do you want to talk about it?" He looks at me with a mixture of sleepiness and concern.
I lie back down. "No. I'm fine, it's okay." Then I force a smile so he won’t worry.
Delsin studies me for a moment. "You have that look on your face again. The look that makes me want to kiss you," he whispers.
I turn my head away and stare up at the ceiling. "Is this always going to happen? I look at you in a perfectly normal way and you feel the urge to kiss me?" I demand.
"Probably yes, but I'm trying to resist the urge. It's just that I feel attracted to you. I don't know why, but it's a fact." He reaches out with his hand and strokes my cheek.
Involuntarily, I close my eyes. His touch feels soothing, and it leaves me with a feeling of security.
"If you want me to kiss you again, I want you to ask me to do it," he whispers.
I take a deep breath. "That's not going to happen."
That makes him smile. "We'll see, but I'll leave you alone until then, like I promised."
"Thank you."
"One more thing."
"What?" I ask and face him again.
"Will you give me your new phone number?"
"In the morning, okay?" I stifle a yawn.
"Alright," he grins.
When he doesn't say anything else, I put my hand underneath my cheek and close my eyes again. Then I feel his lips on my forehead. "Good night, Camille."
"You too, Delsin," I breathe and look into his eyes once more.
He returns my gaze and then it happens. He kisses me softly and I kiss him back. He rolls me over on my back and glides on top of me. One hand cups my cheek, while the other caresses my breasts and slides down to the hem of the t-shirt. Is it really going to happen now? I suddenly think. His fingertips trace the waistband of my panties, while his tongue conquers my mouth. The tips of our tongues are playing with each other and then tangle in a passionate dance. Delsin's hand, which was at my cheek a moment ago, slips under my neck and holds me. I feel his other hand tug at my panties and raise my behind a little so he can pull them down.
He interrupts the kiss. "Are you sure you really want this?" he whispers.
"Don't you?" Oh god, what am I saying? I don't have the slightest idea why I am suddenly this willing. Yes, he is a looker, and yes, he is making me crazy, though most times, in a negative sense.
"I want it, but I was asking you," he says softly.
I utter a sigh. "I think I want to have my first time with someone who is experienced."
"Wait, you were being serious when you said you were still a virgin?" he asks, perplexed.
I nod slowly.
Delsin pulls his hand back. "Then you should do it with the right guy, not with me." He glides off me and lies on his back.
Oh please! "Okay," I murmur and turn away from him. "Let's just forget what happened," I add a little more loudly.
"Right," he says and switches the light off.
I fall asleep with a strange feeling. Why did he reject me?
Chapter 5
I slipped out of the apartment early Sunday morning, and I spent Monday avoiding Delsin. Now it's Tuesday and I am sitting in my chemistry class.
Ethan is sitting next to me, trying to explain the different processes and experiments, but I seem to understand zilch. The year I lost between high school and college, the year I didn't study anything, seems a barrier now. I passed all the classes in my first semester, but barely so, and the second one must yield a better average. "I'll never be able to get all of this into my head," I whine in a desperate tone.
"Of course you will. You just need to have some patience with yourself. Nobody can get it all in a day."
"You understand this stuff," I say in my small voice.
Ethan smiles at me. "Granted, but I even liked chemistry in school."
The bell rings and professor Chimney ends the lecture. "Remember there is going to be a test
on Friday," he announces.
"Great. I need to know all of this by Friday. This is the end," I whisper.
Ethan pats me on the thigh. "If you want to, we can study together."
"Would you really do that? I can be a rather difficult student."
He nods. "I'm free tomorrow, and then you still have Thursday to repeat and memorize. We'll make sure you understand all the material. It's only today's stuff that bothers you, right?"
"Yeah. I just can't seem to get this structure," I explain.
"Don't worry, we'll get it together. Shall we meet in the library then?" he asks.
"Sure. Around three pm?"
"Make it four, that's the earliest I can manage," he says with a smile.
"Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow at four." I grab my books and notepad, put them in my backpack and leave the lecture hall.
It is lunch time and I am really hungry. But I am not heading for the main cafeteria; I will sit under a tree and eat my sandwich. Thalia, Hailey and I have chosen one special tree as our meeting point whenever we don't want to eat in the overcrowded cafeteria.
Five minutes later, I reach our tree. Hailey is already sitting in the grass.
"Hey there," I greet her amiably.
"Hi, Cami. How was chemistry?"
"Awful. Chimney wants us to write a test on Friday, and I don't have the slightest clue. Thank god Ethan offered to study with me tomorrow." I sit down next to her and rummage through my backpack, looking for the sandwich.
"Isn't that the cute blond guy?" she asks.
"Yes, that's him. Blond, grey eyes, a great body, tall … wow," I tell her with a grin.
She giggles. "What happened? That's not your usual line."
"No, it's yours. That's the way you talk about the guys you fancy," I counter with a smirk.
That makes her laugh. "What? You fancy Ethan now?"
"Nope. I like him as a friend, but that's as far as it goes."
I keep digging through my backpack. "Shit, I think I forgot my sandwich."
"I've already eaten mine, or else I'd have shared. Thally isn't even here yet. You want to head over to the cafeteria and buy one?" she asks.
"Yes, I'll be back in a minute. Can I leave my bag here with you?"
"Sure."
I take out my cafeteria smart card and run over to the large building that houses student services. I hope there will still be sandwiches, because on most days, these are sold out first. I'm glad it isn't far, because I am really starving. If I had to run across the whole campus now, I'd go mad. I walk into the noisy great hall and zoom in on the buffet counter. One lonely sandwich is waiting for me. When I reach out to grab it, another hand is faster.
"You have to get quicker, Sweets," Ave grins.
I look up at him. "Could you please give it to me, Ave? I forgot my lunch at home, and this is the only thing I can eat outside." I give him my best puppy dog impression.
"I'm in a hurry, or I would give it to you. Get a salad instead, Sweets. I'm sorry," he shrugs and turns away.
I heave a sigh. "Can this day get any shittier?" I murmur. I head for the large fridge and take out two yogurts. Then I go to Colleen, who works here as a cashier.
"Hi, Camille. How are you?" she asks.
"Don't ask. How about you?"
"Oh, I am fine. Delsin Rough smiled at me fifteen minutes ago. That guy is so cute," she says dreamily.
"Oh, please, Colleen, you're far too good for him."
She swipes my card over the scanner. "I know, but he is just so hot."
"Tell me about it."
"Enjoy your meal."
"I'll try." She hands me the card back and I walk to the door. Two yogurts won't quell the hunger, but I don't want to sit alone at a table.
"Camille," someone calls.
I look around and then I see him. Delsin waves me over. I point to the door and shake my head.
"Come on over," he yells.
"No," I yell back and leave the cafeteria. I want him to leave me alone, once and for all. Saturday night was embarrassing enough, and I don't want the other students to talk about me.
"Wait up, yo," he shouts behind me.
I roll my eyes and turn around. "What is it?"
"I just wanted to know why you left without a word on Sunday. Why?"
"Because I needed to get home and study," I answer.
"You study on a Sunday morning? I woke up at eight thirty, and you were already gone. Why do you keep evading me?" he insists.
"It's better this way."
"Why?"
"Because it is better this way," I repeat. "Would you excuse me now? I want to eat and they're waiting for me."
"Who's waiting?"
"My friends," I answer and turn away.
"Two tiny little cups of yogurt? That's not going to satisfy you," he decides.
"Yes, it will."
Delsin sighs. "Go out to dinner with me tonight, Camille. I'll take you out. I'm going to pick you up at eight."
"No, thank you."
"Oh, and you still haven't given me your new phone number," he says.
"Delsin, ask Ave for it. Tell him I said he can give it to you. Right now I am in no mood for anything further," I say and walk away.
"See you, Camille."
I wave over my shoulder and walk the rest of the way back to the tree, where I sit down next to Hailey.
"He's not going to leave you alone," she states.
"I wish he would," I sigh. Then I pull off the lid of the first cup. Finally, food.
"Why do you think he is following you around like a lost puppy?" Hailey asks.
"He said he feels attracted to me."
She whistles. "Poor sod."
"I guess I'm going to have to avoid him, or he'll never leave me alone."
"If you avoid him, he'll only be more persistent. I tried it and still ended up doing it in the back seat of his car, Cami."
I put down the empty yogurt cup and open the second one. "He wants to take me out to dinner tonight."
"What did you say?" Hailey wants to know.
"I declined," I say calmly and keep on eating.
"Ten bucks he's going to show up on our doorstep tonight anyway!" she laughs and holds out her hand.
"Ten bucks he won't," I grin and we shake hands.
"What are you two on about?" Thalia asks as she sits down next to us.
"Oh, Cami and I just made a bet. Delsin Rough asked her out to dinner, she declined, and now I am certain he's going to show up tonight to pick her up," Hailey explains.
"Oh, I see. I'm in. How much?"
"Ten bucks each. What's your guess?" I want to know.
"I say he'll come round," Thalia giggles.
"Why do you always have to team up against me?" I smirk.
"Because we can," they shout in unison, and then we all start to laugh.
"By the way, tomorrow Cami also has a date with Ethan," Hailey tells Thalia.
"And you can't keep your big mouth shut," I scold her playfully and frown.
Hailey holds up her hands in defense as she tries to stifle a new burst of laughter.
"Isn't Ethan the hot guy from your chemistry class?" Thalia asks.
"Yeah, that's him." Once again, I list his assets. "We're only meeting to study for my exam, though."
"That's what they all say," Hailey blurts and giggles.
I punch her arm playfully. "You are such a bitch. I swear I’m only meeting him so we can study, otherwise we wouldn't meet in the library, would we?"
"How about another wager?" Thalia chimes in.
"What do you want to bet on now?" Hailey and I ask, echoing each other.
"Don't kill me now, Cami," Thalia stalls. "Promise."
"I'm not going to kill you if it's not about my virginity," I concede patiently.
"Alright, then forget about it."
My eyebrow shoots up. "You wanted to bet on me losing my virginity by the end of the term?" I guess.
She shrugs. "Ye
ah. It has to stay a little exciting, doesn't it?"
"I don't believe it. You can count yourself lucky that I've heard that one before, or else I'd be mad with you now," I grin.
Thalia shows me her most charming smile. It is the kind of smile that makes her eyes sparkle and that gets her every guy she wants. "I know."
I lean my head on her shoulder. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to win this bet. If he hasn't shown up by eight, I get your money, because that is the time he said he was going to pick me up," I announce. Then I get up. "I've got to be at my next class. See you tonight, my darlings." I sling my backpack over my shoulder, throw them a kiss each, and start walking.
I really hope Delsin is not going to show up, for I cannot afford to lose money now. Part of my budget went into that dinner I cooked for Ave and Delsin. Sure, I can eat in the cafeteria, but I also want to go out from time to time. And that can get expensive.
***
My last class for the day is over. I am tired as I start my way home. I walk slowly, enjoying the sunshine. I'm looking forward to a hot shower and my comfy sweater. Then I will eat something, read a little bit and go to bed early. That is my usual routine when I have classes the next day, but I'm okay with it. After all, I have come here to learn things, not to get drunk, get laid and waste my time. Dear god, is it possible to sound a tiny little bit more grown-up and less stupid? I finally want to have sex, and I thought I wanted to have it with Delsin, but he ditched me, even though he was the one who kept taking the initiative and kissing me. I ought to go out and look for a handsome guy who likes me and whom I can like, so I can finally experience my first time. Really. I would love to have a boyfriend, a guy I could trust. Not a friend like Avery, but one I can become intimate with. I somehow long for that.
By now I feel torn between what my head and my heart have to say. My head says I ought to be careful and not let Delsin Rough get too close to me. My heart, however, tells me to give him a chance, because he might be the right guy after all.
"Hi, Camille. Long time no see," Ethan says. He is suddenly walking next to me.
"Hi, Ethan. Did you have classes until now, too?"
"Yeah. A math class that was particularly tiresome," he explains. "Are you on your way home?"
I nod. "I am."
"How about going out for dinner?"
"No. I already have a date with my shower and my bed. I'm really exhausted today," I answer.
Rough: Daunting Temptation (Coral Gables Series Book 1) Page 6
