by Pat Simmons
“I’ve been watching and praying for you.” He paused. “Lord, it’s only because of You…” Rossi spoke as if God was on a conference call. “I guess Karyn is good for you.”
“If I was sure about her feelings, I would marry her today and you could officiate the express ceremony, but Karyn refuses to move any faster.”
Rossi whistled. “Good for her. Are you saying you’re in love with her already?”
“If things keep going the way they are, I don’t see how I can help myself.” With his suit and tie picked out, Levi rummaged through his chest of drawers for socks. He refused to be late for service, which was an hour earlier than his church’s.
“Let’s pray.” Rossi recited the Lord’s Prayer. “Our Father who art in heaven…and lead us not into temptation …and lead Levi not into temptation…”
***
“Judging by the number of sprays per second you’re pumping from that perfume bottle, I’d say Levi is coming to our church again today,” Buttercup teased.
“Yep.” Karyn beamed. She wished she had a closet full of clothes, but nobody came out of prison with suitcases. She would wear her white turtleneck sweater again and her brown skirt. She finished dressing. It was plain and simple, but so was she.
Unlike her roommate who had a different color fur band crowning her hair, Buttercup knew how to cram clothes in their compact living space. Today, instead of stilettos that crushed her toes from the time she zipped them up, Buttercup donned more comfortable footwear—low-heeled suede boots.
Soon they were dressed and waiting for Deacon Deacon to pull up. Minutes later, the two stepped on the church van. The regular Sunday crew greeted them.
“Sister Karyn, that Levi is sure a handsome fella,” Mother Caldwell said as Karyn and Buttercup found a seat. “Remember, you’ve been washed squeaky clean in Jesus’s blood. Now, all you have to do is stay that way and press toward the finish line.”
“Do you really think it’s deceitful that I’m withholding my past from him?” Karyn gnawed on her lips, which were covered in gloss. She needed more no’s to outweigh Buttercup’s yeses to feel confident she had made the right decision.
“Listen, honey.” Mother Caldwell crossed her legs to reveal worn, thick pantyhose that were too big for her bony legs. She pointed a finger. “We all have a past. We have all done things we’re ashamed of. God redeemed you and cleaned you up, so don’t be ashamed of the gospel of Christ, remember Romans 1:16? ”
Karyn thought about it before answering. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Mother Caldwell, I’m not telling Karyn to wear an ex-felon name badge, but we have to confide in somebody.” Buttercup shrugged and waved a hand lifted at her shoulder. “And she trusts him… she suffers these mood swings after a date with Mr. Tolliver.”
Despite being tormented after each date with Levi, she was steadfast that God did damage control on the cross. She tuned them out as she reflected on the previous night.
Levi’s family was welcoming. But his sister-in-law, Jet, was her coworker Patrice’s evil alter ego. The woman wasn’t subtle about not trying to like her. If Jet knew of her past, she would have the ammunition to back up her dislike.
Halo boarded the van and his presence made her blink. He made himself comfortable next to Buttercup. “My sister gets a boyfriend, and she can’t speak.”
Karyn reached across a vacant seat and pinched his shoulder. “Leave me alone.”
Finally, Deacon Deacon steered the van into the parking lot. The riders tightened their hold on the seats as he weaved around vehicles as if he were driving a compact car. With finesse, he slowed the vehicle to a precision stop at the church’s double glass doors.
Gathering her purse, Karyn peered through the window. Levi was already on the premises, waiting for her with a smile. He clutched a single rose and his Bible. Karyn remembered Dori was spending the weekend with her aunt. He nodded to Halo who escorted Karyn in, but Levi never took his eyes off her.
“Hi,” she said almost breathless. “You beat me here—”
He wrapped her in a bear hug and muzzled a kiss in her hair while the gang from the church van witnessed his adoration.
“Levi, we have an audience,” she feigned a scolding for his outward show of affection as she elbowed him to push him away.
Loosening his hold, Levi grabbed her hand. He and Halo started a stare duel until Buttercup nudged Halo along to grab a seat. Her friend didn’t move, defiant.
Mother Caldwell scuffled closer and with a crooked finger directed Levi down closer to her face. “Young man, this is your second visit here. I’m glad to see you, but my Karyn is special. She’s as sweet as they come.”
Levi glanced her way as he answered her, “Yes, ma’am. I know.”
Halo and the others mumbled their agreement as they dispersed to their regular seats, but today marked the first time since she had become a member that she wasn’t sitting among other ex-offenders. These were changing times. She was moving on.
Levi tugged her in an opposite direction. He didn’t mention the rose, so she kept silent. “I missed you last night,” he stated before entering the sanctuary.
She did, too, recalling the previous late night phone call after he had dropped her off thirty minutes before curfew. They both had fallen asleep on the phone. Thank God for Levi’s unlimited minutes. “Is Dori with her aunt?” Karyn didn’t want to assume.
“Yep. I don’t have to share you with my munchkin.” He grinned mischievously.
He chose a pew and stepped back for her to go first. In unison, they knelt to give the Lord thanks for allowing them to return to His house of worship. Even in prayer, Levi’s hands were linked with hers. Removing her coat, Levi’s eyes swept over Karyn’s garment. She felt self-conscious. He had seen the turtleneck last week.
“I see we’re matching. I thought red was my favorite color, but brown is making me think twice,” Levi complimented.
She thanked him as band members took their position behind their instruments.
“Praise the Lord for Jesus, everybody,” a young woman addressed the church from the microphone on the pulpit. “Shake your tambourines, clap your hands, and stomp her feet. The saints are in the house!”
In harmony, they began singing Hezekiah Walker’s “Every Praise.” Levi released her hand to stand. Stretching his arms in the air, Levi closed his eyes and bowed his head. Immediately, Karyn could tell he had tuned her out. She liked that.
There was no competition with Christ because He would win out every time. Opting to stay seated and close her yes, Karyn’s worship always included thanksgiving for freedom from prison and sin. Yes, He who the Son had set free was free indeed.
More songs followed until the music segued to Pastor Scaife speaking to the congregation. Karyn opened her eyes to find Levi preparing to sit as he wiped his face.
“Praise stimulates us, worship humbles us, but it is the fervent prayer of a righteous man that keeps us. Choir, will you sing a little of this song, ‘Somebody prayed for me, had me on their minds? They took the time to pray for me…’”
After two choruses, the pastor directed them to James 5:16. That’s when Levi slowly presented Karyn with the rose. “Whenever you read this passage, think of me.”
Affected by his thoughtfulness, Karyn had temporarily forgotten about it. For the next forty minutes, Karyn delicately used the rose’s stem as a bookmark.
“Confess to another your faults—your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins—and pray also for one another, that you may be healed and restored to a spiritual tone of mind and heart. The earnest heartfelt, continued prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available, dynamic in its working,” Pastor Scaife explained.
There was no doubt in Karyn’s mind that the rose would be an extra incentive to read her Bible. Every time she did, she would remember the sermon. Was the Lord talking directly to her about confessing to one another?
As the sermon came to a close, the invitation
was opened for those who wanted prayer, water baptism, or someone seeking the evidence of the Holy Ghost.
After the benediction, Levi turned to Karyn. “Hungry?” She nodded. “Then you have an important decision to make. Have dinner with me.”
She tilted her head. Karyn loved to watch him. “Tell me where we’re going so I can let Buttercup know and make her jealous.”
“It’s a surprise.” He grinned.
Karyn kept a smile in place while she cringed inside. She had to make another call to her caseworker. She was running out of favors and time.
CHAPTER 26
“Good morning,” Rossi greeted, noting Levi swaggered into the office Monday morning. He scrutinized his cousin carefully.
Although Levi was humming, he didn’t look totally alert as his crisp clothing would suggest. “Morn’,” he dragged out and headed to the coffee counter.
The man didn’t even have his glasses on. How did he possibly get to work in one piece? He usually never wore his contacts in the morning because of his allergies.
“If you weren’t related to me and owned half the stake in this business, I’d fire you, man. We have a meeting in less than an hour with the financial advisory board. “We’ve worked years to get tax breaks for that stretch of property in downtown East St. Louis. We’ve already had one delay when the crew discovered the underground city that was once flooded. Now, we could start the groundbreaking in about a month, but you already know that, so this is not the time for you to lose your common sense.”
Taking a sip from his cup, Levi scrunched his nose. “More sugar…” A far-away expression was frozen on his face. “Karyn’s finishing up her degree in business management. What do you say about leasing her space in the old Majestic Theatre once the overhaul is complete? Since she wants to give back to the community, and I want her to succeed, I think her rent should be next to nothing.”
Levi gnawed on his lips. Clearly, he was on a different planet because he wasn’t giving Rossi a second thought. He walked across the hall to his executive suite, nodding to their administrative assistant. Before Rossi could trail him, Levi backtracked.
“Or the old Spivey Building. The city’s first skyline in the 1920s, I think that would be more appropriate for Karyn,” Levi rambled on. “She’s reaching for the stars.”
Once Levi was focused on anything, he wasn’t easily distracted. Unfortunately, at the moment, his concentration was misdirected. Rossi needed to divert him to the business at hand. It was Levi who had initiated the bid. But he had to give Levi his moment of bliss. He was gaining momentum right before Rossi’s eyes. Levi hadn’t talked this much about Diane before he asked her to marry him.
Feeling that it was his duty, Rossi remained in spiritual guard mode. He had yet to calculate the number of times Karyn’s name had been mentioned since Levi had arrived at work. If he were to guess, maybe every ten words. Still, Rossi was trying to listen to God concerning Levi. “How did Karyn get into this conversation?”
“Haven’t you been listening? How much sleep did you get?” Levi taunted, seemingly annoyed.
“Thanks for asking. I got—maybe—a little more than you,” Rossi said with a heavy groan. Leaning back in his office chair, he rubbed his neck and grimaced. Despite his late night, he managed to get to work on time and be prepared for the meeting.
“I accepted an invitation for dinner at one of our young people’s house after service yesterday. The girl was struggling through some issues and she didn’t know how to approach her mother.”
“What happened?” Levi gave him his full attention as he positioned himself on the edge of Rossi’s desk instead of a chair. His cousin knew that irritated him. “This doesn’t sound like it’s a praise report; more like a prayer vigil.”
“Five minutes.” He emphasized the number with his hand. “Not even five minutes after I arrived, I saw the root of the teenager’s shortcomings. The family hadn’t been to church in a couple of months. Sister…is a victim of domestic violence.” Rossi shook his head in disgust. “I just saw Brother…at midweek Bible class.”
Rossi couldn’t erase the image of the bruise on the mother’s face and her sprained arm secured in a sling. Her husband, a well-known church leader, was not only an abuser, but an unsuccessful gambler and liar.
Levi immediately sobered. He set his coffee cup on Rossi’s desk on a spot where Rossi had seconds earlier swiped a stack of contracts out the way. “I’m sorry, man.” He rubbed his hair. “I don’t understand some people. Why go to church when you don’t practice what’s preached? And why marry a woman and beat up on her? Some animals are treated with more tender loving care than people. Speaking of which, Karyn—”
Rossi huffed. “Come on, man. Karyn again?” He gritted his teeth in frustration.
“Seriously, I think she might have been a victim of domestic abuse or something.”
Sitting straighter, Rossi’s ears perked. “What? Why would you think that? She seems quiet, but nothing to indicate to me that she’s been a victim.” He frowned, recalling the first time he had met her and then at his aunt and uncle’s house. “Have you asked her?”
“No, and I don’t plan to. I want her to trust me enough to tell me. I’m patient until I get tired.”
CHAPTER 27
Glancing out the transit bus’s window, Karyn smiled. It was midweek in mid-December, and Levi hadn’t missed a beat. God seemed to stir her minutes before his wake-up call. Despite his attention, everything wasn’t all right in Karyn’s world.
God’s message through Pastor Scaife’s recent sermon was weighing heavily on Karyn’s heart. She had to be honest with herself; Levi was probably in love with her.
When she had prayed that morning, she uttered her Bible golden text: He who the Son sets free is free indeed. Within her heart, she knew it was the right scripture for all situations, so why didn’t she have the confidence to hold tight? She was letting the devil get to her.
Levi’s smile, eyes, and generosity still lingered in her mind as the bus came to a stop and let her off at the mall. Bundling up, she sprinted across the parking lot to the entrance. Bookshelves Unlimited was teeming with early morning shoppers. Whoever would have thought that a toy store’s biggest competitor would be a bookstore? she thought.
Karyn’s feet were trained to go straight to the customer desk to log in. Her hands were already unzipping her jacket, but her mind was still on Levi and Dori. “Is six weeks really long enough to open up and spill your secrets?” Karyn whispered out loud.
“Doesn’t matter. There’s no such thing as a secret,” Patrice answered.
Twirling, Karyn’s heart pounded. Patrice had a talent for sneaking up behind people and hearing things that shouldn’t be uttered and then repeat them. Karyn hadn’t realized she had verbalized her thoughts.
Patrice preyed on coworkers in their weakness. Feigning a sympathetic ear, whatever she took in, Patrice diced up the information and spit it out.
For the rest of the day, Karyn kept her distance from her coworker and focused on customers’ needs. But when the traffic was light, she wondered at her conflicting emotions. Spiritually, she seemed stronger inside the prison walls than now. Her strength was wavering when it came to boldly declaring God’s forgiveness and keeping power.
Levi made sure that throughout the day, she would think about him—from the morning calls to the regular box lunch deliveries to curbside pickups when she clocked out that she had already cleared with Monica. He was making her dependent on him for her happiness. Not a good thing.
Buttercup’s call for action plan was to tell Levi. Karyn’s fellow van riders argued she dare not tell him, because her past was not who she was today and therefore, void. She needed someone else’s perspective.
During her lunch break, Karyn was pleased that the back room was empty. She reached for her cell phone and did what she should have done before she got caught up in her blissful web. First glancing over her shoulder to check for privacy, Karyn then punc
hed in the church’s number and asked for Pastor Scaife.
Once they exchanged greetings, Karyn bowed her head. To an observer she appeared to be saying grace. “I’m in turmoil. Am I deceiving myself into thinking my past doesn’t matter to a man who adores me, or am I deceiving him into believing I’m a woman with no baggage?” she asked in a hushed tone.
“Sister Karyn, you are what God says you are. This trial didn’t just spring up one day. It was already in the books. God already has the ending written, so trust God along the way, and let God write the script for you about what to say.”
He called her name a few times to snap her back into the conversation. She released a heavy sigh. “I could lose him.”
“God can replace him.” She could hear a smile in his voice. “Or God could cause Levi to increase his love for you. Either way, Sister Karyn, God’s purpose in your life is to save you, which He did. Anything else He decides to give us is a blessing.”
Pastor Scaife continued to encourage before he prayed. “Father, in the name of Jesus, You have a purpose for Karyn’s life. Not only did You forgive her, You spared her and You saved her. Lord, bless her according to Your will and riches in glory. Amen.”
“Amen,” she repeated.
“Now, God doesn’t want us worrying about anything, and I do mean anything. He reminds us of this in Philippians 4:6.”
Karyn whispered Amen again, then disconnected. Checking her watch, she ate her lunch quickly. It would surely be for energy, because she no longer had an appetite.
“Hmmm. I wonder what secret you’re keeping,” Patrice taunted as she walked closer to her.
