Molly smiled and blushed. “I always pull it back into a twist for school and my weekend lessons—prim and proper Ms. Malone, the music teacher!”
“So you only have it down for your singing gigs? Yikes, that tells you how long it has been since I was to one of those. I’m going to fix that!”
Katherine caught a look in Molly’s eyes that hinted there was another side to the story about her hair—her big sexy hair, she thought. But just then the orchestra stood as the maestro made his entrance, and Molly put her finger to her lips to end the chat.
“Honestly, Kat, you’re going to be blown away when you hear how kickass-amazing we all sound,” she whispered. “The Tafelmusik choir and orchestra get just as pumped about this as the audience, and the enthusiasm is contagious.”
Katherine smiled and felt more excited than she had in some time.
As they joined in the standing ovation after the final notes rang through the hall, Katherine hugged Molly. “Thanks! This was everything you promised and more!”
Having taken the subway downtown, they splurged on a taxi back. The plan was for Molly to stay overnight.
“Tessék, Molly. It’s so nice to see you again,” Elisabeth said, after a warm hug in the living room. “You haven’t dropped by for a while.”
Note to self, Molly thought. “You’re right, Elisabeth, and I’m ashamed of that. I got a little caught up in life, but that’s no excuse for not popping by. I always enjoyed our chats, and I’ll start coming by more often again. It’s good to see you looking so well.”
“Na, Molly, I didn’t mean to make you feel badly. I just wanted you to know I missed you—and your funny stories.”
“Well, I can see you have certainly been busy decorating!” Molly exclaimed, taking it all in.
Elisabeth glowed. “Katica has made this season so special. We retrieved our old decorations from their storage boxes—many I haven’t seen for years, and for sure since Jozsef left us. We have only recalled happy memories. There’ve been some painful moments, but we’ve tried to find the good in even those.”
Katherine moved behind her mother, putting her hands gently on her shoulders. “We decided that nothing was going to spoil the time we’re sharing right now.”
Molly raised her eyebrows quizzically at Katherine while Elisabeth wasn’t looking. Kat responded with a move of her hand that indicated they would talk later.
Stifling a yawn, Katherine suggested they all get to sleep. “Anyu, I can’t believe you stayed up this late!”
Her mother smiled, a gentle look in her eyes. “Just like when you girls were teenagers, nem?”
“Except this time, I’m not sharing a bed with Katherine so we can yak until the early hours!” Molly said. “I need to sleep!”
In the morning, after a typically delicious breakfast, Katherine walked Molly out to her car.
“For Christ’s sake, Kat, are you really handling things as well as your mom makes it sound?”
Putting her hand on Molly’s arm, Katherine spoke with assurance.
“Molly, I’m not saying this is easy or that I’m not hurting, but one night when I was at my lowest point, I went for a long walk. I thought about this mess and decided I only had one way to go—up! I felt I couldn’t get dragged down any further, and I was darned if I was going to let James ruin the rest of my life—”
“The shit-for-brains bastard . . .” Molly interjected.
“Exactly!” Katherine agreed. “I’ve spent every minute from that evening on attempting to move forward, and I have to tell you, my mother has been my biggest inspiration. I look at her every day and think about what she had to move on from in her life. Then I realize my problems are nothing compared to that. It’s that simple.”
Molly shook her head, followed by a look of pure admiration. “I don’t know how you can do it, Kat. You know how I used to go off the deep end whenever I had a fucking breakup—hence my aversion to any kind of relationship . . .”
“Excusez-moi,” said Katherine. “What exactly is your . . . let’s see . . . how many years . . . ?”
“Seven,” muttered Molly, looking up at the gathering snow clouds with a grumpy expression.
“Okay, I would say seven years qualifies as a relationship . . .” Katherine replied. “With the enigmatic Antonio.”
“Friends with benefits—that’s what it’s called these days. They just made a movie about that,” Molly curtly informed her. “We see each other maybe once a week—and it’s strictly physical.”
“Ha! It’s got to be more than strictly physical if it’s gone on that long.”
As Molly always did when the conversation turned to this secretive affair, she changed the subject. “Wait a frickin’ second, we’re talking about you, not me! I just wanted to say that I think you’re doing a helluva job dealing with everything. And the fact that your eighty-five-year-old mom is such a positive influence is a bonus. She’s a great lady, and you’re lucky to still have her.”
Hugging, they wished each other a Merry Christmas. Molly had a busy singing schedule through the holidays, and Katherine knew that somehow the trysts with her elusive suitor also factored in.
She is a character, Katherine thought as Molly hopped into her Zipcar and backed out to the street. She often wondered what on earth Molly’s secret might be.
Christmas Eve was on a Saturday, making it very convenient for Katherine and her mother to visit the local tree lot at the nearby Anglican church. The pickings were slim, but they were happy to choose a needy-looking little blue spruce to be delivered that afternoon.
Warmly bundled up, they slowly strolled the few blocks in the sunshine, Elisabeth’s arm securely tucked in Katherine’s.
“It feels good to be out this morning with everyone dashing about taking care of last-minute details,” Elisabeth noted. “I miss that hustle and bustle. It’s just not the same watching it out my window!”
By dinnertime, the tree was magical in their eyes.
Mother and daughter chatted and laughed. Later, with the box of treasured decorations between them, Katherine handed them one by one to her mother. The colorful ornaments and delicate angels, all of fragile painted glass, were hung with care, along with the traditional sweets wrapped in shiny gold, red, and green foil. Last came small white candles set in brass holders, which cast a sparkling glow when carefully lit by Kat.
When Elisabeth rang the tiny bells gently, their eyes locked in a look of remembrance, a mixture of sweetness and sadness.
“Life seems to pass in a heartbeat,” Elisabeth whispered, her voice filled with melancholy.
They reminisced for a long while, sometimes laughing, sometimes shedding a few tears as old memories surfaced. As they sat in the candlelight and nibbled on Elisabeth’s palachinta, they listened to a CD Katherine had made for her mother of her most treasured seasonal music and Hungarian carols. That had been the first gift from under the tree.
This year they had agreed to exchange three gifts with the most meaning and little cost as possible. In the past Katherine and Elisabeth had set aside a day or two to shop together, but this year Elisabeth said she was organized and it would not be necessary.
Her first gift to her daughter was one that held no mystery. The green-and-red-striped cookie tin had been passed between them since the first year Katherine was married and not living at home. It was filled with a selection of the delicious seasonal cookies and sweets that Elisabeth baked every year beginning well before December.
In return, Katherine purchased for her mother the largest box of Laura Secord chocolates available, putting them in a similar tin. The tins were passed between them every year. She knew her mother treated herself to one piece a day until they were gone—and then a replacement box would magically appear. The dates were well marked in Katherine’s day timer.
Mother and daughter appreciated each other’s weakness for sweets.
Elisabeth’s next gift to Katherine was a wooden box, which looked vaguely familiar but very
new. She recognized the lid as bird’s-eye maple and then realized she had certainly seen the box many times before, sitting in her mother’s closet.
“When your father and I were first getting settled in Canada, we often went to auctions to find affordable things. He bought this box for my birthday the first year we were here. We had no idea how special the wood was at the time. Imagine! Dad gave it to me to keep my treasures through the years. Cards, photos, letters, poems I would copy. Although it wasn’t a hope chest, it did hold many of my hopes and dreams. It was a reminder to me of what mattered most.”
“But Anyu, there is still time for hopes and dreams in your life.”
“Nem, as I see it, the hopes and dreams should now be yours, and I want you to realize they still lie ahead in your life. You can collect them and save them in this special box, as I did.”
Katherine knew there was no option for refusal, although she really did not foresee having much to put in the fine-looking box. Hopes and dreams felt dashed to her, and the future was not something she could even begin to visualize, apart from being alone. She definitely was not going to admit this to Elisabeth. “It looks magnificent. Someone has refinished it.”
“Yes, Andrea took it to a Mennonite woodworker who lives near her. He did a fine job!”
Chuckling, Katherine told her mother they had both gone to the St. Jacobs area in their gift search. “I went to a local market with Andrea last month and found this next gift for you.”
Elisabeth unwrapped a beautiful pale-turquoise shawl of the softest wool. “It was woven by hand. The woman even keeps her own angora rabbits and spins the wool herself. Have you ever felt anything so exquisitely soft?”
“It’s beautiful, and just what I need for the hours I spend in my chair by the window. You noticed the one I have is getting a little worn, didn’t you? And such a perfect color!”
When Elisabeth handed Katherine her last present, she kept her hand on it as she spoke. “Katerina, angyalom, szeretlek. I love you more than you can possibly understand. That’s the way it is between parents and children. You have been my pride and joy.”
“Anyu, we have been a wonderful family.” Katherine struggled to keep her composure as her eyes welled up. “I know how much you miss Father, as do I.”
“Igen . . . but hush . . . there have been too many tears. This gift is something you have been asking for over many, many years. It is something I was unable to give to you for a long time. Impossible. Lehetetien.”
Katherine had no idea what was coming.
Elisabeth continued, not lifting her hand from the beautifully wrapped present. “Watching you work through your heartbreak, I realized I had an important message for you that only this gift would help you understand. It is time.”
“I’m sure whatever it is, is wonderful. Are you actually going to give it to me? You have quite a grip on it.”
A strange look crossed Elisabeth’s face as she passed the gift to her daughter, still keeping her hands on it. As they both held it, she issued one final instruction, her voice breaking slightly. “There is just one condition that accompanies this gift, my darling. You may not open it until I have passed from this earth.”
Katherine’s eyes widened.
“Anyu?”
“This is our story. The story of my family, and your father’s, during the war. The story your father and I shared with each other and never anyone else in this country. Of course, Uncle Andrew was also part of it. I have never regretted that decision, but I know my days here are not long and then it will be important for you to know.”
Bursting into tears, Katherine wrapped her mother in her arms. “Please don’t talk like that. You have a good, long life ahead of you. But thank you for writing this. It’s important to me and to Andrea and her family, and we will be eternally grateful. I will respect your wishes, so I believe it will be a very, very long time from now until I see it.”
Elisabeth held her tightly and said. “I hope I don’t have long, my Katerina. I am ready to join my Jozsef, and I feel my body slipping . . . I feel it. So don’t be sad. You are making these days of mine so full of happiness, and let us just continue. So no more tears! I am not crying, and I don’t want you to either.”
That night, the lights were out early, as Elisabeth said she was exhausted and needed to rest for their trip to St. Jacobs the next afternoon.
Katherine sat on her bed for a long while, holding the precious gift she had received from her mother and realizing what a sacrifice she must have made to force all those memories out of storage and onto paper. How typical of her mother to do it because she thought she could help her daughter through her own experience.
She just never stops giving, Katherine thought as she drifted off to sleep.
5
The holidays passed with Katherine spending more time than she wanted working through lingering anger at James and how her life had changed in just a few short months. She had promised herself that she would not allow him to spoil her holiday any more than he already had. It wasn’t always easy, but she blocked him out as best she could and kept the periods of sadness and depression well hidden.
I’ll save it for my next counseling session with Dr. Olson.
Christmas and Boxing Days with Andrea and her family in St. Jacobs had been busy and noisy with all three of the children home. They were eighteen, twenty, and twenty-four and even when other friends of theirs weren’t over visiting, the house felt full of life. They loved having their Aunt Kat and Neni Elisabeth share the holidays with them.
The whole family had worked on convincing Katherine and her mother to return for New Year’s Eve and their annual sleigh ride and bonfire because it looked like it would be a good year for it, weatherwise. And so they did, much to everyone’s surprise.
Standing by the bonfire, Andrea said, “It’s so wonderful to see the happy times you and your mom have shared these past few months.”
“It’s been quite awesome in a lot of ways,” Katherine agreed, adding with a bit of a snort, “Too bad it took my marriage blowing up to make it happen.”
“Too bad indeed. How are you doing now?”
Katherine blew out a long sigh. “Not great. I’m so thankful for this time with Mom, but I know I have to start thinking beyond it. I’ve really got my head in the sand.”
“Well, I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but a new year begins at midnight, and my wish for you is that this will be the beginning of your new life as well.”
Katherine muttered a muffled “Mm-hmm.”
By the end of January, Katherine was feeling more settled into her new routine. Elisabeth, an early riser, would have breakfast ready when Kat came downstairs. Kat missed her long morning walk, so she had begun to go to yoga with Lucy twice a week. Yoga was new to her, as was the experience of having a regular commitment with a girlfriend now that James no longer controlled her agenda.
“Thanks for pushing me to do this. It’s been a good way to fill my evenings.”
Lucy smiled at her. “Obviously I don’t know how painful divorce is, but we have a saying: ‘One joy scatters a thousand griefs.’”
Katherine nodded. “I need to remember that one.”
Lucy had suggested they go to this class and was a devotee to yoga, which Katherine found very helpful. Even with the clear instructions of the teacher, she felt like a klutz half the time.
There were days when Katherine still felt empty and without a vision for her future. There were days when she struggled with the feeling she was a loser and blamed herself in every way for James leaving.
The counseling therapy had helped. Dr. Olson was quietly intuitive, and Katherine liked her. The doctor had pushed Katherine to piece together the mosaic of her marriage, which Kat had so violently smashed on the floor of the garage as she dismantled James’s bike that day.
“I literally kicked it into a thousand pieces. I didn’t want any memory to remain intact,” Kat confessed.
She had been encouraged to r
ecognize the good that had existed during her years with James as well as the hurt she had endured. There were some truths she acknowledged and hung on to. Yes, she conceded, there had been many years of love and respect in her marriage. Yes, she had been deceived and hurt, but she had not been physically or verbally abused. She had not been left poverty-stricken. Focus on the positive.
Once-a-month maintenance appointments would help if she faltered. The forward momentum was difficult, she often admitted to herself.
There were times she thought she saw James in front of her in a crowd. She would recognize his height, broad shoulders, the back of his head, or maybe his familiar gait and catch her breath not knowing if she wanted him to see her. She knew she did not want to talk to him. She might punch him—or worse. But then she would see the profile and feel relieved she was mistaken.
6
Katherine hadn’t seen it coming, but she sensed Elisabeth had. Thinking back, there had been plenty of warning.
The winter was cold and snowy, and getting her mother out for a walk was more and more difficult. At the beginning of February, Katherine hired a kind and cheery caregiver. She popped in every morning for a few hours to do a bit of housework, pick up some groceries from the list Katherine posted in the kitchen, and keep Elisabeth company while she prepared lunch for her.
Katherine and her mother both realized the help was necessary. Elisabeth’s strength was waning noticeably, and it troubled her that Kat was working all day and coming home to clean as well as do everything else. This had been the compromise, and Elisabeth admitted to Kat that she looked forward to Hilda’s visits. Elisabeth enjoyed the lovely Scottish lilt to her voice as she related the latest gossip about the royal family and other people in the news.
After a little initial resistance, Kat rented a hospital bed and set it up in Elisabeth’s main-floor sewing room so the stairs were no longer an issue. Elisabeth had a trunk full of delicate linens that had belonged to her family for generations. The trunk was saved by a faithful family friend during the war and returned to Elisabeth before she left the horror behind.
The Promise of Provence (Love in Provence Book 1) Page 6
