Damn, that had cut. Much deeper than he’d expected. Despite everything that had happened, they’d been close once, and at the moment it seemed like he may never have a shot at earning that back again.
God, he wished she’d call. Just hearing her voice made him feel less alone—less of an outsider. Made him feel as though they still might stand a chance of being in this thing together.
“Guess you can’t play since you’re hurt and all,” Nadine said, opening the front door of the lodge and pulling him onto the porch.
“ʼFraid not.” Nate cautiously rubbed his sore ribs and scanned the grounds. “I’ll have to sit on the sidelines with...”
Man, he’d forgotten how beautiful it was here.
He tipped his head back and admired the majestic crests of the Smoky Mountain range that surrounded the valley. Fall had settled in and the thick woods were ablaze. Deep red, bright yellow and electric orange speckled the landscape, and the thick, early-afternoon mist hugged the foothills of the mountains.
Elk Valley Ranch had always had an air of paradise about it. Except for...
His eyes strayed toward the hiking trails leading into thick, dark woods. Nausea seeped into his gut. A heavy shadow had fallen over a remote corner of the valley when he was seventeen, a tragic event occurring that he’d never managed to live down. One that had been on everyone’s lips in Elk Valley, prompting him to haul ass the day he graduated from high school and rarely return.
But how could he come back? How could he hike familiar trails, fish in the same cool creeks and reminisce over youthful adventures when one of his best childhood friends wasn’t here to share it?
When he was the reason for Paul not being here?
“Uncle Nate?”
He faced Nadine, hoping the smile he forced seemed sincere. “What, baby?”
“Since you can’t play, will you keep score?”
“I’d love to,” he said, squeezing her hand.
They walked down the front walkway, then crossed the grounds toward the field where a small group of guests had joined Mac and his children for a baseball game. Several other guests strolled walking paths on the outskirts of the valley, and a few others saddled up horses by the stable, getting ready to head out for a trail ride.
Mac had been right. The guest ranch was thriving.
“Jaxon got all the boys on his team,” Nadine grumped, staring at the group ahead. She stopped and tilted her cheek up toward him. “Give me that good-luck kiss, Uncle Nate. Think I’m gonna need it.”
Laughing, he bent, pecked a kiss on her cheek, then watched as she scrambled away to join the others. His chest swelled. No matter what mistakes he’d made, he was a good uncle. Even Mac had bragged on more than one occasion about that. But how much did that qualify him for being a father? Not even a great dad like Mac, but just a competent, reliable one?
Maddie and Jaxon spotted him and started jogging across the field. Mac followed, standing as tall and solid as ever. An exact replica of his own build and features but completely opposite on the inside.
A cool breeze pushed across the valley, raising goose bumps on Nate’s skin. He looked down at his boots and wished, not for the first time, that he was more like Mac. Or Landon, even. Hell, they both set such a high standard he doubted he’d ever reach their level.
How in the world would he go about telling Mac he had children? Three six-month-old babies he’d laid eyes on for the first time last night? Babies Amber had carried and given birth to without him?
Added to the complicated mix was the fact that he’d only planned to stay for a month at most, then return to the circuit. But how could he leave now, knowing he had three children? And what would Mac—a devoted family man—think of him if he did?
His reputation was bad enough. He doubted he’d have one left at all after that. He might even lose what little respect he’d worked hard to earn from Mac over the past couple of years. And he couldn’t even bring himself to think about how Landon would react.
“Glad you decided to join us.” Mac laughed as the kids hurled themselves at Nate. “Your fan club’s been missing you.”
“I see that,” Nate said, squeezing Jaxon and Maddie close. The children’s snug hold and excited chatter helped soothe the ache inside him.
“I’m so glad you’re here, Uncle Nate.” Jaxon’s smile stretched from ear to ear. “How long you staying this time? I want you to take me fishing up on—”
“Forget the fishing,” Maddie said, tugging at Nate’s shirt. “You’re gonna take me and Nadine hiking this time, aren’t you? Remember you promised we could go to the overlook ag—”
“All right, guys. Give your uncle some room, hmm?”
Nate glanced up, his eyes locking with pretty blue ones. Dani, Mac’s new wife, approached, stepping carefully across the uneven ground while cradling the generous curve of her belly.
She smiled warmly. “It’s about time you came home for a visit.”
Nate released the kids and hugged her briefly, just the sight of her welcoming expression and approving tone lifting the heavy weight from his shoulders. A native of New York, Dani hadn’t grown up in Elk Valley and only looked at him with fondness. “It’s good to see you, Dani.”
She laughed, stepping back and rubbing her belly. “Well, there’s a whole lot more of me to see since the last time you were here.”
“And all of it gorgeous.” Mac kissed her cheek, then whispered something in her ear.
Dani’s cheeks flushed and she batted him away. “Save that for later,” she teased.
Nate smiled. It was so good to see Mac happy again. After losing his first wife to cancer, Mac had struggled for years to raise three children and bring their family’s guest ranch back to life. Dani, a former real estate agent, had arrived at Elk Valley Ranch with intentions of acquiring Mac’s land. But somewhere along the way, she’d acquired Mac’s heart instead and eventually, after a few clashes of stubbornness on both their sides, they’d fallen hard for each other. The kids loved her and they all seemed even happier now than they had last year on their wedding day.
“I’m gonna have two brothers,” Jaxon said, pride in every inch of his eleven-year-old face.
“In how long?” Nate asked.
“Three months,” Maddie said.
“Or less.” Mac grinned, eyes excited, then gestured toward the field. “Come on, kids. Let’s get this game started before it gets dark.” He glanced at Dani. “I put the cushioned chairs out so you’ll have a comfortable place to sit. You want me to grab you a water?”
“No, thank you,” Dani said. “I’m perfectly fine.”
Mac hesitated. “Are you cold? I can grab you a blanket or—”
“Mac, I’m fine. I promise.” She smiled. “And I know where everything is if I need it.” She grabbed Nate’s hand and tugged. “The two invalids are taking their positions now, so go have fun.”
Mac walked away with the kids, casting admiring glances over his shoulder.
Nate laughed. Proud and stubborn, Mac turned to putty in Dani’s hands and it was a sight to behold. He’d never seen Mac happier.
“Have a seat, Nate, and tell me what you’ve been up to.” She tugged a strand of his hair and grinned. “Other than growing this gorgeous hair of yours out. I never understood why men always get the best locks.”
He held Dani’s elbow as she eased into one of the cushioned wicker chairs, then sat in the one beside her. “Not much to tell.” Liar. An uncomfortable churn started in his gut. “I had a rough ride in Texas. Got kicked in the ribs, then sidelined for a month.”
Dani winced. “When you called and said you were hurt, we were all worried. Mac, especially.” She looked across the field as Mac took his place behind a makeshift home plate. “He’s missed you, you know. Even if he doesn’t say it.”
“Yeah.” He tucked his chin to his ch
est. “I know.”
He’d missed Mac, too. Almost as much as he’d missed Amber.
He shifted awkwardly in his chair, then gestured toward Dani’s midsection. “I haven’t formally congratulated you and Mac yet. I’m happy for you both.”
“Thanks.” Smiling, she looked down and patted her belly. “We’re looking forward to these feisty babies making an appearance. Mac and the kids have been working on the nursery for weeks. He wants everything to be perfect.” She winked. “Don’t be surprised if he enlists you to help with the renovations soon. I’ve been itching to pitch in but he won’t let me lift a finger. He thinks I’ll break if I do more than stand up and sit down.”
Throat thickening, Nate studied her belly. Twins were nestled safely in there. Amber, on the other hand, had carried his triplets. Her belly would’ve been bigger than Dani’s at six months. She’d been alone. And probably three times as uncomfortable.
He didn’t know the first thing about what she’d been through. Had carrying their babies hurt? Had she had bad morning sickness? Been tired all the time?
“How does it feel?” His neck flamed when Dani faced him. “I mean... I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just wondered if it hurts or...”
“You’re my brother now, Nate,” she said, brow furrowing. “You can ask me anything. And to answer your question, yes, some days it does hurt.” She started, placed a hand on her middle, then laughed. “Like now. When one—or both of them—kicks.” Her smile gentled as she whispered, “It hits me right in the heart. In the best way.”
He stared at her belly. “Can I... Is it okay if—”
“Here.” She took his hand in her smaller one, brought it to her protruding belly, then pressed it snug against her. “Just be still a moment and they’ll start again. They always do about this time of day.”
Sure enough, something tiny bumped against his palm then retreated. A second flutter followed a moment later. Nate pulled in a deep breath, his lungs expanding strongly, his eyes burning. There were two beating hearts in there. Two strong, healthy boys.
Amber had carried two baby boys...and a baby girl. Had felt them kick and move inside her. Had supported and protected them within her for months before giving birth. And he hadn’t been there with her—or for her. Not that he’d had much of a choice since he hadn’t known. But even that thought brought little comfort.
Only, the pang of guilt didn’t diminish the faint buzz of excitement in his veins. That strange new feeling of wonder. The rush of prideful amazement at knowing he was a father.
Him. A father.
He may not have been there for his children or Amber from the beginning but he could be there for them now. He could try to be the father his children deserved and prove to Amber, Landon, Mac and everyone else that he could be as good a man as any in this small, sanctimonious town. A good man worthy of Amber. Couldn’t he?
“Nate?” Dani squeezed his hand, her expression concerned. “Is everything okay?”
Mouth dry, he met her eyes. Lord, he wanted to tell her. Wanted to tell someone. But he couldn’t. Yet. “Yeah. I was just curious.”
Her features relaxed. “The kid count’s going up around here. In three months or less, you’ll have two nieces and three nephews.”
And two sons and one daughter.
Dani nodded toward the rambunctious children, then smiled at him, eyes warm. “Think you’re up to the challenge?”
Nate stilled, thinking of three blond-haired babies with Amber’s beautiful blue eyes. That was the ten-million-dollar question.
* * *
“All right, angels. Ready to race?”
Amber lowered to her belly on the living room floor and smiled. Three cute faces stared back at her from the other end of a colorful mat. Dylan, on the right, babbled. At his side Savannah grinned, eyes bright with excitement. Mason, on the left and ever the most ambitious of the three, pushed up to his hands and knees and rocked back and forth, knowing exactly what was coming.
Of all the days in the week, Tuesday was Amber’s favorite. It was the one day reserved solely for her and the babies. No work. No Landon. And no visitors.
Not that she disliked any of the aforementioned parts of her life. But it was so wonderful to enjoy time with her children alone. To be able to savor every second of it. The feedings, the diapers, the playing, the bathing, the soothing. The soft sounds of contentment that escaped them as they napped.
It was the one day out of every week she could shush that icky, guilty whisper that lurked in the back of her mind each time she left them for work. Which, in itself, was ridiculous. She had to make a living, and steady business at the café had not only enabled her to pay off the last bit of mortgage on McBride’s cabin, but had also allowed her to start renovations.
Having a solid, sturdy home for the children’s future was the first step in providing the best life possible for them. A step she’d accomplish all on her own. And, after last night’s tumultuous turn of events with Nate’s return, she needed the precious peace of this day more than ever.
The small fire she’d built in the fireplace on the opposing wall crackled, gentle heat warming the air and bringing a blush to the babies’ chubby cheeks. It was getting cold enough to crank up the cabin’s old heater, but if she made do with firewood for another week or two, she could pinch a few extra pennies.
Plus, the cabin seemed cozier—more like a home—with the hearth bright and active.
Her smile widened. “Time to strengthen those tiny crawling muscles, sweeties.” She hunkered down closer to the floor, placed a soft toy bear on the corner of the blanket and deepened her voice. “In lane one, our returning champion, Mason Eason, is fired up and ready.”
Mason squealed, eyes fixed on the bear, then started bouncing back and forth.
“In lane two...” Amber wiggled a pink pacifier in the air as Savannah smiled and stretched out a tiny hand. “Everyone’s favorite diva, Savannah Eason, has returned with a vengeance and is determined to overtake her male counterparts.”
A frustrated grump erupted from the opposite corner of the blanket.
Amber pursed her lips at attention-seeking Dylan. “And in lane three, Dylan Eason, the fastest, most furious competitor ever, is ready to take the trophy.”
She held up a bright yellow teething ring—Dylan’s favorite—and he grinned. Just a tad.
“There’s my sweet boy,” Amber crooned. She set the teething ring on the blanket. “Ready? Set? Go.”
There was no need for coaxing. All three of them had already started straining across the blanket toward their favorite toys. Mason, the most advanced, managed three forward crawls before collapsing to his belly and laughing. Savannah fisted the blanket, tucked her legs under her and pushed, flopping herself forward a few inches. Dylan made it to his hands and knees but looked frustrated.
“Come on, sweet boy.” Amber scooted to Dylan’s side and placed her palms behind his feet, giving him a sturdy surface to push off. “You can do it.”
And he did. Slowly but surely, he managed to wiggle, roll and drag himself closer to the teething toy.
Amber watched them inch across the blanket, listened to their excited shouts and giggles and laughed herself. Surely, every mother in the world thought their children were the most beautiful on earth, and hers were absolutely perfect just as they were. She didn’t give a hoot how vain or egotistical that made her.
Gracious, she loved them. Didn’t know it was possible to love anyone this much.
“Pfffftttt.”
Mason, as anticipated, made it successfully to the other side first and started blowing raspberries. He grabbed his toy bear with both hands and brought it straight to his mouth, looked at her and grinned.
Her smile slipped. Of the three babies, Mason favored Nate the most. Nate’s strength was in every one of Mason’s energetic movements. The sa
me charming light that gleamed in Nate’s deep green eyes was always present in Mason’s.
“Oh, boy,” she said softly. “You’re gonna be a charismatic charmer one day, aren’t you? Gonna give the girls a run for their money?”
Mason babbled around his toy, then hugged it closer.
Amber kissed his cheek. “Just try your best not to break any hearts, okay?”
He turned in the direction of her voice, his soft lips bumping her nose and small fingers reaching up to curl into the long strands of her hair. And just like that, with the light scent of baby shampoo drifting in and his puffy breaths tickling the shell of her ear, her heart melted all over again.
Someone knocked on the front door.
Amber glanced at the babies as they mouthed their prizes. “Wonder who that is?”
The tingling sensation creeping up the back of her neck told her she already knew.
Sighing, she gently untangled Mason’s fingers from her hair, then pushed to her feet and walked to the door. Crisp fall air swirled in as she opened it and there Nate stood. All six-feet-plus of thick muscle, broad shoulders and cowboy charisma.
The sun dipped, tucking behind the tall tops of the cypress trees and casting a strong glow at his back. Seemed a spotlight of some sort always found Nate no matter where he was. Even on her run-down porch in the middle of nowhere.
Her lips twisted. “Speaking of...”
He frowned. “What?”
“Nothing,” she mumbled, stepping back and motioning toward the living room. “Come on in.”
He entered, carrying a shopping bag. “I’m sorry I didn’t call first. I tried to wait until tomorrow but I wanted to—”
Frustrated cries cut him off.
Amber squirmed as the cry morphed into a demanding howl. “That’s Dylan. Fair warning, peace and quiet only lasts so long around here.”
Nate peeked over the recliner at the babies rolling on the blanket. “I can come back later if this is a bad time.”
A bad time? Huh. She didn’t know what constituted as a good time to discuss their predicament. And the avid curiosity in his eyes and determined demeanor didn’t suggest he really wanted to go through with the offer he’d just made.
Home on the Ranch: Tennessee Bull Rider Page 5
