Sung to the tune of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
He ate Dasher, then Dancer,
Then Prancer and Vixen.
He downed Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen.
Yes, he ate them all, the most
Famous undead reindeer of all:
Rudolph, the Zombie reindeer,
Caught the virus through his nose.
And if you ever saw him,
You would even say he’s gross.
All of the other reindeer
Tried real hard to get away.
But they didn’t count on Rudolph
Eating them anyway.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say:
“Rudolph, with your Zombie blight,
Who’s gonna pull my sleigh tonight?”
Rudolph instead just ate him,
Munching Santa’s brain with glee,
Rudolph, the Zombie reindeer,
You changed Christmas history!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS TO BE A ZOMBIE
Sung to the tune of “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”
Every body pauses and stares at me,
I’m a pile of rotting flesh as you can see.
It looks like a virus caused this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve is to be a Zombie!
All I’ll eat for Christmas
Is your frontal lobe,
Your frontal lobe,
With my two front teeth!
Gee, if I could only
Eat your frontal lobe,
Then more Zombies would spread around the globe.
It seems so long since I’ve been undead;
Sister Susie’s a rotting hag!
Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be,
If only there were more brains to be had!
All I want for Christmas
Is to be a Zombie,
To be a Zombie,
To be a Zombie.
Gee, if I could only
Be a Christmas Zombie,
Then I could eat you
On Christmas Day!
ZOMBIE CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
Sung to the tune of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”
You better watch out,
You better not cry,
Better not shout,
Or he’ll know where you hide—
Zombie Claus is coming to town!
He’s eating a wrist
And chewing it twice;
A little fresh brain with pepper is nice.
Zombie Claus is coming to town!
He eats you when you’re sleeping;
He bites when you’re awake.
He chews if you’ve been bad or good,
So just hide for goodness’ sake!
O, you better watch out,
You better not cry,
Better not shout,
Or he’ll know where you hide.
Zombie Claus is coming to town!
Zombie Claus is coming to town!
About the Author and the Illustrator
MICHAEL P. SPRADLIN is the author of several children’s picture books, the novels and manga volumes in the Spy Goddess series, and the Youngest Templar novels. He lives in Michigan with his family.
JEFF WEIGEL is an author, illustrator, and graphic designer who lives in Belleville, Illinois. He has been a frequent contributor to Image Comics’ Big Bang anthology, and is the author and illustrator of the children’s picture books Atomic Ace (He’s Just My Dad), Atomic Ace and the Robot Rampage, and the forthcoming graphic novel Thunder from the Sea.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.
ALSO BY MICHAEL P. SPRADLIN
SPY GODDESS NOVELS
Live and Let Shop
To Hawaii, with Love
SPY GODDESS MANGA
The Chase for the Chalice
The Quest for the Lance
THE YOUNGEST TEMPLAR NOVELS
Keeper of the Grail
Trail of Fate
PICTURE BOOKS
The Legend of Blue Jacket
Texas Rangers: Legendary Lawmen
Daniel Boone’s Great Escape
Credits
Cover design by Milan Bozic
Illustrations by Jeff Weigel
Copyright
IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ZOMBIES! Copyright © 2009 by Michael P. Spradlin. Illustrations copyright © 2009 by Jeff Weigel. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Adobe Digital Edition September 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-198602-4
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
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Pymble, NSW 2073, Australia
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
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http://www.harpercollinsebooks.ca
New Zealand
HarperCollinsPublishers (New Zealand) Limited
P.O. Box 1
Auckland, New Zealand
http://www.harpercollins.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
77-85 Fulham Palace Road
London, W6 8JB, UK
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
10 East 53rd Street
New York, NY 10022
http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Contents
Introduction, by Christopher Moore
Author’s Note: I’ll Be Undead this Christmas
I Saw Mommy Chewing Santa Claus
Zombies on the Housetop
We Three Spleens
The Zombie Christmas Song
Undead Christmas
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies
Nothing Like Brains for the Holidays
Zombie Wonderland
Good King Wenceslas Tastes Great
Have Yourself a Medulla Oblongata
Here Comes Zombie Claus
Snacking Around the Christmas Tree
Slay Ride
A Jolly Zombie Christmas
Deck the Halls with Parts of Wally
Zombie, the Snowman
Eat a Toe
Here We Come A-Garroting
I’m Dreaming of an Undead Christmas
Zombie Yells
Let’s Feast on Merry Gentlemen
Silver Brains
I’ll Be Undead for Christmas
Grandma Got Turned into a Zombie
It’s the Most Wonderful Time to Feel Fear
We Wish You an Undead Christmas
Smash Their Heads with a Rock
Rudolph, the Zombie Reindeer
All I Want for Christmas Is to Be a Zombie
Zombie Claus Is Coming to Town
About the Author and the Illustrator
Other Books by Michael P. Spradlin
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies Page 3
