She finally admitted that she felt something for me, and in the same breath, she told me it would never work. I didn’t believe that. We could find a way to work it out. In the meantime, I would respect what she was asking for and give her some space.
“Can I ask you a question?” I leaned back in my chair.
She shrugged, avoiding my intense stare.
“How did Logan die?”
At the mention of his name, she winced. “Ryan, I don’t want to talk about this. I’m sorry.”
I sat forward and reached across the table for her hand, she tensed, as I knew she would. “I understand what you’re saying. I will try to respect your wishes, but just answer that one question, please.”
She was quiet for almost a full minute, although her mouth moved as if to speak a few times. “He was killed, Ryan, along with my parents, on Christmas Eve six years ago.”
My mouth fell open, and I knew there would never be a set of words I could string together that would make her feel better, or show how sorry I was. When she had spoken about her father passing away, I had no clue that she had lost her mother at the same time. And I had absolutely no clue that her loss was made even more painful by losing the man she loved and planned to spend her life with.
I suddenly understood her so much better: Her need to control, the way she was so careful and focused, and her ability to draw away from me when I got too close. It all made sense now.
“You guys ready?” Troy called from the doorway as he entered the kitchen.
She snapped out of her fog as if someone had flipped a switch, throwing a semi-smile on her lips as she pushed her chair back and stood. I had a much harder time dredging up the energy to stand. Would I be able to function if I had lost my parents and the woman I loved? I didn’t think so.
She walked past Troy without a word as I finally found the strength to stand.
“You okay? You look like you just saw a ghost,” Troy said as I turned toward him.
I was tempted to tell him what Jackie just revealed, but it wasn’t my place to say anything. With a firm push away to the pain of her words, I did what I was paid to do. I acted as if nothing was wrong and slapped him on the shoulder as I reached his side. “Nope, everything is fine.”
Jackie was already in the limo when we reached it. I slid in beside her, careful to give her space as she stared out the side window. We didn’t have to pretend that everything was all right in front of Troy. As soon as we were seated and the limo stared to move, Troy was on the phone.
She sat beside me, her hands crossed gently in her lap over her black cargo pants. She wore a pale purple shirt today that was un-tucked, and she’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail at the nape of her neck. When the limo made a sharp turn to the right, she leaned into me slightly with the movement.
I reached over and took her hand in mine, our fingers laced together, and I kept it in her lap. The hint of a smile reached her lips, and she wrapped her other hand around mine.
If that was what I could do to comfort her, to hold her hand, to be there for her, I would do it. I would do anything for the woman beside me with the fragile heart and the strongest of shoulders.
As we arrived in town, there were crowds lining the street. We figured there would be a lot of press, but I didn’t think there would be as many observers as there were.
“Holy cow, looks like the whole county is here to see you.” She shook her head as she spoke, but it seemed to be more in wonder than anger or concern.
“Sorry you have to be a part of this.” I watched her profile.
She squeezed my hand. “Actually, now that I know the movie, and I’ve seen some of how it all works, this is kind of exciting.” She surprised me by grinning openly.
“Oh, okay then,” I said stupidly, unsure about how to take the turn of her mood.
When the limo stopped, Troy opened the back door. Drew stood outside and held people back as I stepped out and held my hand out for Jackie. She slipped her hand into mine and climbed out to the instant shock of the number of camera flashes that occurred.
Without a thought, I put on one of my prize-winning smiles and held her arm close as we moved toward the building we rented for today’s use. It was an office building that had a few vacant offices and would act as our wardrobe and makeup space; it would also house the actors between scenes. Today was really my day to work solo, but there were a few supporting actors who would assist on the scenes, like the clerk at the florist’s shop.
All around us, people yelled my name. I realized with a happy surprise that they were calling out to Jackie, too. One woman pushed a pen and piece of paper toward her, asking her for an autograph. She stared at the woman as if she had two heads.
With a chuckle under my breath, I pulled Jackie away so that she wouldn’t have to say anything to the woman, and we entered the building.
“How do you handle that all the time?” She pulled her hand away from mine, wiping her damp palms on her pants.
I followed the signs to the area we were using and nodded at a few people who stopped to stare at us. “You just get used to it.”
“Not me. It reminds me of the time after the airport incident when all the press was hounding me. I couldn’t walk out of the station without being mobbed. I hated it.” She caught up as we entered the office suite we were renting.
I gave her a wry smile and followed her through the doors. My hopes that she would become accustomed to my life were fading, and I fought to keep the negativity from my thoughts.
Within minutes of arriving, we were wrapped up in a whirlwind of things to be done. Marie whisked me away and tsked over the circles under my eyes, telling me I needed to get more sleep and to stop spending so much time with Jackie while I was working so hard. I bit my tongue so that I didn’t say anything nasty to her.
And so, the week went by. Every morning for six more days, we got up and went to work early. Jackie stayed by my side, pretending to be my romantic interest, while keeping her guard up high and staying as professional as she could.
In the evenings, we all gathered on the back patio or in the family room to talk about the day. Roseanne and Jackie developed a strong friendship and spent a lot of time laughing and telling stories about what they had seen during the day. I tried not to be jealous of their relationship, and at the same time, I found that I learned bits and pieces of her by watching her open up with Rose.
We kept our distance from each other at night when we were home, even though I longed to hold her every second of the day. I found myself watching her every move sometimes, in awe of how her face broke out in a smile just before she laughed aloud, and how when she was trying to act serious, she would clear her throat before she spoke.
There had been no other threats toward me, and no word about the fingerprints off the letters. I was glad that things had stopped, but I had a feeling we had not seen the last of trouble.
“I can’t believe we have one more day to shoot and then we get a day off,” Roseanne said as she slumped in a chair, “It’s been a long week.”
“Yeah, it will be nice to finally sleep in,” Troy added as he flipped through the pages of an entertainment magazine.
“It would only be better if we had two whole days off,” Roseanne added.
I saw Jackie yawn and stand to stretch. The shirt she wore rose high enough for me to see a sliver of her smooth stomach, and my groin tightened. “Speaking of sleep, I’m going to head up. I could use an extra hour.”
Jackie was an early riser. Over the last few days, she was up way before I stumbled downstairs. Troy said that every morning when he came down, the coffee was made and she was sitting at the table writing notes down. She never said what they were about and always slipped the notebook into her backpack when anyone was around.
We all said goodnight, and I watched her leave the room. All week, I had kept my distance only staying close to her in public. I craved the feel of her lips and the touch of her hands in a private, pa
ssionate setting. Every kiss we shared at the filming had been done to set the stage, and it filled me with a wanting so deep I could barely contain myself. She, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest. She seemed to have gotten the acting part down pat.
“I’m heading up, too,” I added and left the room about two minutes after she did. I could use the extra sleep. The filming was going well, but it was exhausting. Kayla and I were on set together in a few days. I dreaded the scene we were going to have to do where I pretended to be drunk and argued with her before we fell to the floor in a moment of pure lust. In the movie, Kayla played my wife; in real life, I pretended as if we were divorced.
I climbed the stairs two at a time, and when I rounded the corner at the top, I crashed into Jackie.
I grabbed her by the arms as she started to fall back, her hands grasped my shirt and pulled it out of the waistband in the front.
“I’m so sorry, Jackie. I didn’t see you there.” I helped her stand up straight, but I didn’t release her from my grasp. In fact, I moved closer to her.
“No, that was my fault. I heard you coming up the steps. I should have moved out of the way faster. I’m sorry.” Her hands rested on my stomach, my T-shirt still in her fist.
I took another step, and her hand pushed against the taunt muscles of my abs causing my groin to tighten again. I stared at her lips and felt the unstoppable urge to devour them.
For a week, I kept my distance. With her hand pressed against my body, and her face so close to mine, I could no longer do so. I swooped down on her, turning her so that she was pressed against the wall as I crushed my body to hers.
With a soft moan, she gave in to what I was asking for and kissed me back with all the passion I knew she had stored deep inside her. My hands were everywhere on her while hers moved slower but almost as much.
We tasted, touched, nipped, and licked. The only sounds in the hallway were of our heavy breathing and rustling of clothing.
Neither of us heard Troy reach the top step. “About damn time,” he muttered as he walked past us, “Why don’t ya’ll choose a bedroom instead of using the hallway?” He walked past us as we both panted and watched his retreating back until it disappeared behind his bedroom door.
If Troy hadn’t interrupted us, we could have easily lost control and made love right there in the hallway; at least, I know I could have. The look on her face said a different story. She moved her hands up to my chest and pushed just enough to get my attention and tell me I needed to back up.
I swallowed, trying to get my heart rate and breathing under control.
“I’m sorry, Ryan.” She put her forehead on my chest and sighed. “That shouldn’t have happened.”
I slid my hand down the back of her head, smoothing her long, soft blond hair. “Yes, it should have, and a lot more should have, too.” I paused and put my thumb under her chin to lift it. “It still can, you just have to say yes.”
Mixed emotions splashed over her face and behind her eyes. I knew she was torn, but I had to show her that we were meant to be together.
“No, Ryan. We can’t.” She pushed a little harder on my chest. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
I opened my mouth to tell her, yes we could, but she shook her head and pushed away hard enough that she slid her body out from between me and the wall and rushed to her room.
“Jackie,” I called out to her, but the only reply was the click of her door.
Damn it!
Chapter 22
Jacquelyn
What the hell got into me? I leaned back against the door, resting my head on its cold hard wood. If it wouldn’t have made so much noise, I would have banged my head a few times to knock some sense into it. What the hell was I thinking?
Oh right, I wasn’t! I wasn’t using the logical side of my brain, I let my over-active hormones take control.
For the last week, we had reached a kind of truce. He kept his distance when we were home, never coming near me or touching me if he didn’t have to. When we were out in public, things were a different story.
Everywhere we went, when he was not busy doing something else, he had his arm around me possessively. He placed kisses on my forehead, neck, cheek, and lips whenever he got a chance. Each time, my body wound even tighter, a child’s toy primed to let loose. The surprise of slamming into him by the stairs just now had snapped the top string and away I went.
I closed my eyes and felt my heart beating. I traced my swollen lips with my fingers, imagining Ryan doing it. I groaned and dropped my chin to my chest. I was in so much trouble.
I had to get this job done, had to get out of here before he affected me anymore than he already had. Every morning, I took a few minutes to think over what I had seen the day before. In the afternoons when I had a chance, I made a few phone calls to see what information I could find out. I was getting close and ruling people out, but I wasn’t quite there yet.
If the damn forensic report would come back on the latent prints we pulled from the envelopes, I might have my suspect. I needed to figure this out. My sanity was balancing on a precarious edge, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep my balance.
I pulled my gun off my ankle and set it on my nightstand where I kept it while I slept. After getting ready for bed, I remembered why I’d had been heading downstairs in the first place. I glanced at the lounge pants and camisole that I wore. Ryan and Troy had gone to bed, maybe everyone else had, too.
I opened my door as carefully as I could. The hallway was dark and quiet. I glanced at Ryan’s door, wondering what he was doing, and realized I shouldn’t even ponder such a thought. I would make myself imagine things I had no right to conjure up.
On my tiptoes, I made my way down the steps and into the family room. The house was quiet and all the lights were off. I stepped into the family room and moved to the chair I sat in earlier. My black backpack leaned against the side. I scooped it up.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust those who lived in the house, I did. It was the ones who came and went who didn’t live here that I wasn’t so sure about. I made my way silently to the stairs and stared to climb. A light flashed up on the wall for just a fraction of a second, I stopped dead in my tracks.
Where did that light just come from? If it was from headlights coming up the driveway, it would have swooped over the walls and brightened the whole room, and not been just a single, brief flash.
It wasn’t lightening. I could see the stars out in the night sky, with no sign of clouds; and again, that would have lit up the atrium brightly. The hairs on the back of my neck twitched as I moved slowly up to the second floor.
When I got to the landing, I let my backpack slide down my shoulder to the floor, and I put my back to the wall. This wall was only about two feet in length before it opened up to the bridge that crossed from one side of the house to the other.
I listened for a moment, finding that all was quiet inside. I tried to listen harder, but I didn’t hear anything. I peeked my head around the corner and scanned the darkness out in front of the house. My Jeep was out there, along with three other cars, and the limo. All of them were supposed to be there. I searched carefully around the cars, but saw no movement or additional light.
I could see the guard shack down below and a single light was on, but I couldn’t see the guard inside. He might be sitting down or have stepped out to take a walk around the grounds. Maybe it was his flashlight I had seen. I searched the darkness one more time, but saw nothing.
My shoulders were tense, and I shrugged them to relieve it. I picked up my backpack and made my way to the third floor. This time, I didn’t sneak around the corner, but I did stop in the center of the balcony and examined the darkness intently.
The light I saw was probably the guard’s flashlight and nothing more. I went to my room and climbed in bed.
After a restless night, I dressed in my normal cargos and polo shirt, grabbed my backpack, and made my way to the kit
chen. With the coffee on, I sat down at the table and started reading through my notes again. I had to figure all this out.
I knew that Diane was off the list. She was in Europe filming a movie and had been for a several months. There was no reason to suspect her. Rebecca was able to help cross off a few more, but they were people who weren’t at the top of my list in the first place.
This morning, I woke up with a renewed vow to figure this out and get out of here as fast as possible. I needed to do that for my own peace of mind. If I got out of this now, I could look back on my time with Ryan with warm feelings. I would know that, although I had feelings for him and he had some for me, I had done my job and kept him safe. Safer than even he knew.
“Wow,” Roseanne’s voice startled me, and I jumped in my seat. “Sorry, I can’t believe you’re always up so early, dressed, and working.” She covered her mouth while she stretched and released a yawn.
“Crime doesn’t stop just because you’re sleeping.” I closed my notebook and slipped it into my backpack. My quiet time was over. I glanced at my watch; it was almost six-thirty.
Rose gave me a lopsided grin before pouring coffee. I lifted up my mug to my lips. What was left was cold, but I was used to drinking cold coffee. I chugged down what remained in my mug.
“What time did you get up?” she asked as she scooted a chair out from across the table.
“My alarm went off around four.” I twisted my coffee mug in my hands, having nothing else to do.
“You set your alarm for four!” Her eyes bugged out. “In the morning? Are you nuts?”
I laughed, but before I could respond, Ryan entered the room. “She’s a dedicated employee, Rose.”
He didn’t look at me. In fact, he didn’t look at Roseanne either. He made a beeline for the coffee mugs and poured himself a large one. Good thing I just made a new pot before they got up.
“That she is, Ryan. That she is,” Rose replied winking at me. Troy walked into the room as she finished.
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