“Wow! Congratulations,” Jordan said. She could hear the excitement in Bob’s voice and was genuinely pleased for him. It wouldn’t be his first grandchild, but the first by his youngest daughter. The one he never thought would settle down and get married, much less have a baby. “She finally did it, huh?”
“Yep,” Bob said. “Proves it’s never too late for anyone.”
“If you say so.” Jordan knew the remark was directed at her and wanted to deflect it. Eventually the conversation would have to turn to her and the reason she called, but she appreciated Bob’s willingness to let her get there on her own time. “Anything else new?” she asked. “I know you’re still taking the flowers to the cemetery every week because the florist bills me for them.”
“Yes. I assure you, your mother’s grave is very well cared for.”
She didn’t doubt it, which is why she’d entrusted him with the task. “I really appreciate it, Bob.”
“I’m happy to do it. You know that. But Jordan?’
“What?”
“Don’t you think it’s time you come back here and see for yourself? Don’t you think it would mean a lot to Jaclyn?”
Jordan swallowed hard. She didn’t think Bob’s words were intended to make her feel guilty, but it was hard not to. She’d felt a similar guilt when she’d moved to Texas the first time, fresh out of UCLA and ready to start pursuing her dreams. In spite of her mother’s already deteriorating health, she moved almost a thousand miles away, thanks to a scholarship to WTU. ‘Make me proud,’ Jaclyn had said, and Jordan promised to try. She was still trying. She hoped, if her mother was watching, that Jaclyn understood why Jordan couldn’t be there right now. “I can’t yet.”
“I think you can,” Bob said, “but I understand your reasons.”
“Thank you.”
“If you do decide to come back here, you have a job. I told you I’d hold it for you.”
He had, four years ago, when she’d left for her class reunion. She didn’t expect it to still be available and didn’t plan to need it. “That’s nice of you.” Jordan said. “I like it here, though, and I like being my own boss.”
“Yes, I know that has its advantages,” Bob agreed, laughing. “By the way, one of our longtime clients—I think you used to work with him—is filming a movie out in your area right now. Jake Morrison. Do you remember him?”
Oh, boy, do I. “Yes,” was all Jordan said.
“Nice kid. Seems to finally be hitting the big time,” Bob said. “I’m happy for him, and happy he stuck with our firm all these years.”
“Of course.” Jordan wondered if she had anything to do with that, even though it didn’t really matter anymore. What mattered was now and whether she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life. No, probably not. There were so damn many mistakes, after all. Did writing that letter even crack the top three? “I’ve actually run into him since he’s been here. The movie’s going really well.” She tried to keep her tone casual.
“I’m glad,” Bob said. “So what’s wrong, Jordan? Does it have something to do with Jake?”
So much for casual. Jordan wasn’t surprised Bob saw through that. After all, he was the one who’d called her on her drinking problem all those years ago, even though she’d been so certain she hid it well. Yeah, right. “Maybe a little.”
As if sensing her unease, Cujo jumped on the couch to join her. Jordan held her close. Who said cats weren’t affectionate? “There’s something I have to tell you, Bob, and I don’t want you to think less of me.” Maybe it shouldn’t matter, but Bob was the closest thing Jordan ever had to a father figure and with her mother gone, the only closest thing that resembled family. She hated the thought of letting him down.
“What’s that?”
“Jake and I, we used to have a relationship. A sexual relationship.”
“When you worked here?” Bob asked.
“Yes. I was actually with him the night before you...” Jordan searched for the right way to put it. She credited Bob with essentially saving her life, but she knew he’d dispute that. “Before you ordered me into treatment.”
“Oh.”
Silence followed, and Jordan wondered if the admission had just cost her Bob, too, or at least his love and respect. “Say something, please,” she urged. “Even if it’s just to tell me you’re going to report me to the state ethics board.”
To her great surprise, laughter sounded over the line. “I think any statute of limitations has long since passed on that, especially since you don’t practice in California anymore,” Bob said. “I am, however, glad I didn’t have that little grain of knowledge back then.”
“There were reasons why I didn’t widely share it,” Jordan said dryly. “So, I guess that job offer doesn’t stand anymore, huh?”
“Oh, Jordan,” Bob said, and she could almost hear him shaking his head. “Of course it does. That’s not changing. Something obviously has with you, though. Is it Jake? Have you rekindled your relationship?”
“You could say that.” It came as no surprise he would cut right to the truth. “This time it’s different, though. It’s not just physical.” Nor was it marred by drunken excess, but she didn’t add that. “I’m in love with him,” she said, “and I’m scared. Scared about what it might mean to be with him, but also what it might mean to not be with him.”
***
Since his agent claimed not to understand women and Jake needed to talk to someone, he called his brother. Not that Jared was any great expert on the subject, but he had at least managed to successfully be married to one woman for ten years. That made his track record far better than Jake’s.
After exchanging pleasantries and bitching about the weather—it was hot in Iowa, too—Jake got right to the point of his phone call. “I’m in love,” he said. “And she might be the one.”
“Yeah, right, little bro.” Jared laughed. “I think you mean you’re in lust. Let me guess, she gives great head.”
Jake winced a little as he recalled the timing of his confession. No way was he mentioning that one to his brother. “She does, yes, but it’s a lot more than that,” he said. “She cooks, too.” The words were no sooner out than Jake pounded a fist to his forehead. Great, now he sounded like a chauvinist from the 1950s.
“Oh, well, then by all means, you better snatch her up quick,” Jared said. “Do yourself a favor, though. When you mentioned her to Mom, start with the kitchen skills.”
“Ha ha, such a comedian,” Jake snapped. “I’m serious. It’s hard to explain other than to say she’s incredible and amazing and I want to be with her.” He took a deep breath. “That scares me, but the idea of not being with her scares me even more.”
“Whoa,” Jared exclaimed. “Coming from you, that’s pretty heavy. So when do we get to meet the mystery woman? Soon, I hope.”
“That, uh, actually might be a bit of problem,” Jake said.
“Why’s that?”
“I have to find a way to get her back, first. She just dumped me.”
Chapter 18
Several times, Jordan considered calling. She even had her hand on the phone once, but froze before she could go through with it. Bob had told her to go for it, to embrace her future, but so far she couldn’t do it. She hated being paralyzed with fear.
Even telling herself the decision was for Jake’s own good was little comfort. Jordan still missed him. “It’s just you and me, Cujo,” she announced to the cat. The way it had been a month ago, before Jake showed up in town and upset the balance of her life. “And we’re going to be fine.” Maybe if she said it enough, she’d actually start to believe it.
***
Jake kept his morning meeting with Joe Camacho. If he was going to be miserable, he might as well stay busy. Jordan still wasn’t taking his calls, so he needed to come up with a different plan of action. In the meantime, he still had a movie to film and preparation to do. If he wanted this role to culminate in an Oscar nomination, he needed to infuse his performa
nce with as much realism as possible. That meant learning as much as he could about the agents who were entrusted with safeguarding the U.S. border. Unfortunately, he was having a difficult time staying focused on anything his breakfast companion said.
“You seem distracted this morning,” Camacho observed.
“Yeah, sorry,” Jake said. He better snap out of it before his set call, too. Reece wouldn’t have any sympathy for Jake’s suddenly messed-up personal life, especially since he’d come here to film a movie, not fall in love. “What were you saying?”
Camacho smiled. If he was upset about having his time wasted by an actor who’d requested a meeting, then didn’t even pay attention, he didn’t show it. “I was voicing my frustration with people who make my job harder by trying to help people cross the border illegally.”
“Help them how?” Jake asked. “And why? Are they involved in the drug trade?”
“Some are, sure,” Camacho said. “Not everyone. Others think they’re being humanitarians, helping those less fortunate. They send the money they make in the states back to family in Mexico, to help their relatives try to come over. They set up water stations along the border so people don’t get dehydrated—”
“You’re serious?” Jake interrupted, trying to wrap his head around the idea.
“Yes. They fill barrels with fresh water, so people who are trying to cross don’t die from the heat.” Camacho shook his head. “They say they do it to save human lives.”
“It’s certainly hot enough here that they might die without the water,” Jake said. “But if you ask me, these people are aiding and abetting in illegal activity.”
“Yeah,” Camacho agreed. “And helping to make things a lot more comfortable for the drug traffickers in the process.” He sighed. “Keeps me busy at least. And you, too, I suppose, because if this stuff wasn’t happening out here every day, this movie of yours wouldn’t have any relevance.”
Jake nodded as he considered that. “True.” The more time he spent with Agent Camacho, the more he realized that the script for Border Cowboys was ripped right from the headlines. It was no wonder the film was being talked about as much as it was.
“I have to go,” Camacho said, standing up. “I got the okay to take you out in the van again tonight, if you’re still interested.”
Jake didn’t hesitate. The experience was valuable, and it wasn’t like he had a hot date tonight. “I’d love that.”
“Great. Meet me at the station at nine.”
Jake said goodbye to him, then pulled his phone out to check the time. He still had twenty minutes before his set call. Time to see if he could shed some light on his woman problem. He located the number in his call directory from a couple weeks before and tapped the screen to dial.
“Elizabeth Brewster.” She sounded very formal, and Jake wondered if it was a good idea to interrupt the district attorney during the work day simply because he was upset that her friend dumped him.
“It’s Jake Morrison,” he said. “I’m sorry to bother you, but you helped me out with Jordan before, and I thought maybe you could again.” Jake certainly hoped so, because he wasn’t sure where else to start.
“Help how?” Beth asked. “Are you trying to surprise her with something? That’s very nice of you. She’s been pretty moody the last couple days with you working so much. I think she misses you.”
“Really?” Jake scoffed. “Maybe she should have thought about that before she sent that damn letter.”
“Wait a minute, what letter?”
“Jordan didn’t tell you?” No, of course not. Why would she confide in her best friend, other than he always thought that’s what women did. It was official. He would never understand them. “She broke things off with me, and now she’s not taking my calls.”
Silence followed, then a very loud sigh. “Yes, of course she did,” Beth muttered. “Damn you for being so predictable, Jordan.”
Jake frowned. “You expected her to do this?”
“I suspected she might,” Beth said. “Did she give you a reason?”
Jake tried to remember the contents of the letter, but it wasn’t like he’d read it multiple times. It stung enough the first time. “Some bullshit about deserving better than her and not wanting to hold me back.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Jordan.”
“It’s ridiculous, though. Why the hell would she think she’s holding me back?”
“Look, Jake, I’ve known Jordan for a long time, and she’s a very complicated woman.”
Does she think I need to be told that? “I know. That’s why I love her,” he said. “Well, one of the reasons, anyway.”
“Good answer.”
“I wasn’t aware I was being tested.” Maybe getting assistance from Jordan’s friend wouldn’t be as easy as he hoped.
“Don’t take it personally,” Beth said. “It’s just that I care about Jordan a lot. I only want what’s best for her.”
“And you need to make sure that’s me,” Jake concluded. He tried not to be offended. He was glad Jordan had a friend to look out for her, even if, in this case, he felt Beth’s concern was misplaced.
“Something like that. Don’t worry, though. I think you’re exactly what Jordan needs, so I hope you won’t give up on her this easily.”
“I don’t intend to. Does that mean you’ll help me?” he asked hopefully.
“Yes, but I can’t do it myself. I’ll have to call in some reinforcements.”
“Sounds interesting,” Jake said, but before he could ask who the reinforcements were, his phone beeped, signaling another incoming call. He glanced at the screen. It was Val. That couldn’t be good. “Whatever you can do, I appreciate. Thanks. I have to go. I have another call,” he said. He ended that call and answered the other. “Hey, Val.”
“I’m glad you answered,” his publicist said. “We’ve got trouble.”
***
Jordan sat down in Beth’s office thinking she’d been summoned there to discuss a case. Instead, she was greeted with an ambush in the form of a long distance conference call that included Sarah in New Hampshire and Tracey in Chicago. “I missed the memo that we were all meeting for study group today.” She didn’t bother trying to keep the sarcasm from her tone. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring my outlines.”
“You’d probably still ace that Contracts exam,” Sarah quipped. “Unfortunately, it appears you flunked personal relationships.”
Jordan glared at the speaker phone on Beth’s desk, then at Beth. Obviously she set this up. “Well, don’t mince words, Sarah,” she snapped.
“I have a court hearing in fifteen minutes,” the juvenile court judge said. “So I can’t waste time. Besides, blunt is my nature. You know that.”
It was, and Jordan wouldn’t have it any other way. She felt blessed to still be friends with each of them, even if she suspected she was going to hate this conversation before it was done. “Whatever you want to say, save your breath. I know you have a fascination with playing matchmaker, but—”
“I do not,” Sarah countered. “That’s not fair. I just want to see people I care about be happy. Is that so wrong?”
“No.” Jordan sighed, regretting her harsh words. “It’s very kind of you,” she said. “The thing is, maybe some of us aren’t cut out for being happy.”
“I don’t believe that, and deep down, I don’t think you do, either.”
Jordan was quiet for a second, not sure what to say in response. Tracey cut in before she figured it out.
“Beth and Sarah have been bringing me up to speed,” she said. “Naturally, I’m the last to know everything, but we’ll let that go for now. Let me see if I got this right. You’ve been dating a sexy movie star who you used to know in California, and he’s crazy in love with you, but you just dumped him because you’re, well... I think crazy is the only word for it,” the law professor concluded.
Jesus. She was officially getting it from all sides. “Where did you get this piece of informatio
n from?” Jordan demanded. So far, she’d told no one but Bob in California, and she knew none of her friends knew him. “The NSA?”
“No, but they probably know, too,” Beth deadpanned. “Jake called me.”
“What?” Jordan couldn’t quite believe it. “Since when are you such close friends with Jake?”
“I don’t know.” Beth shrugged. “I guess since I spared you from another bout of food poisoning at the country club and suggested he take you to Siempre instead,” she said, then clamped a hand over her mouth. “Shit. You weren’t supposed to know that.”
“Too late, then!” Jordan shot Beth a withering gaze as it all sank in. Jake was planning to take her to the damn country club until Beth stepped in to save the day. She wondered how much of that perfect night was actually Jake’s doing. Had Beth planned all of it? Was anything real? “God! When are you going to stop interfering in my life?”
“I don’t know. Maybe when you stop making a total mess of it on your own. As if that’ll ever happen.”
Jordan flinched as if she’d been slapped in the face. “Sorry to be such a nuisance, but I never asked you to pick up the pieces after all my screw-ups.” She jumped up from her chair. “You can all go back talking about me now.”
“Jordan, wait!” Beth called after her. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Jordan heard the apology on her way out the door, but didn’t bother to hang around. She knew Beth well enough to know her intentions were good and she wanted to help, but the whole conversation stung. From learning that Beth was responsible for orchestrating the perfect night right up to being reminded how she had—once again—completely screwed up her life, it all stung.
***
Jake slid the keycard in the slot and pushed his door open. It had been a long day on the set and all he really wanted to do was collapse on his bed. Instead, he had an appointment in a few hours to go sit in a border patrol vehicle and stare at a nearly-dry riverbed that somehow served as a border between two countries. It was a place Jake never expected to be, yet here he was. No one better ever say he wasn’t dedicated to his craft.
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