Flipping to the cover page, Meredith scanned down it until she reached the name at the very bottom. Ainsley Jacobs. Her heart sank, her teeth clenched and tension rolled through her shoulders. Meredith debated on erasing the note at the end to meet with Ainsley, but it wouldn’t be fair. She hadn’t known at the time it was Ainsley’s paper—something she did on purpose with all students when grading—so there was no reason to think it was aimed specifically at her.
Meredith let out another breath and set the paper to the side. Wine—she needed another healthy dose of wine. Uncurling her legs from under her body, Meredith sauntered into her kitchen with her wine glass and picked up the still breathing bottle of red. She drank half of her new glass right there before she even thought about going back to her office.
Disturbed by her thoughts, Meredith refilled her glass and went back to her office, sitting at her computer rather than picking up another paper to grade. She opened her email and checked every last one she could, responding in kind when necessary. Then she checked her secondary email—the one she kept secret from almost everyone in her life. Sam was the only person who knew her secret identity.
Six emails: virtual blog tours, book signings, and questions from regular readers. Meredith answered them all, opting out of book signings too far away and planning a convention appearance for some time in the spring. She had it all planned out before turning back around in her chair and looking at the stack of papers still needing to be graded. She’d made a mistake in planning all three of her classes to have papers due the same week. She would be pushed to the brim with grading to get them all back in time.
Meredith rubbed her lips together and then stood back up with her wine glass in hand. She needed to at least make it through one class by the next day. Then she would feel as though she had accomplished something. Sitting back down in the chair in the corner of her office, Meredith picked up the next paper on the stack and ignored Ainsley’s to her left. She didn’t want to think about it in the very least, and she pushed the note she’d made to the back of her mind.
Rubbing the tension out of her shoulder, Meredith worked through the rest of the papers for her introductory level memoir class. She had the stack finished and grabbed another glass of wine before sitting back down at her computer with the papers in hand. Opening up her Excel spreadsheet, she plotted through the names and the grades, recording them in her own system.
She finished that quickly, double-checking each grade she had put in. Relaxing back in her rolling office chair, Meredith stared at her computer screen. She knew she should be working on more papers, but dusk had already come and gone, and she really didn’t have the mental capacity to keep on with the grading efforts that night. Her brain was dead tired.
Three weeks of school without a real break was kicking her rear hard enough she didn’t want to even glance at the school for a whole month. It was a good thing she had dinner with Sam and Jeremy in a few days. It would make her life a whole lot easier. Meredith smiled at the thought. It would be good to catch up with them and to be able to relax for one of the few times she allowed herself to do it.
Grabbing a book off her shelf, Meredith went out to her living room and plopped down onto the couch with book in hand. She smiled at the cover before opening it and reading the first line. Completely captured by the story after a few minutes, Meredith continued to read until she slipped into slumber on the comfortable sofa.
#
Meredith rolled her shoulders before she walked into the classroom. Hoping it wouldn’t be much longer until all her students were settled and ready to start work, she took everything she would need out of her bag and sat at the desk in front of the room. Ainsley had been on time every day since her first tardy, and Meredith couldn’t have been more pleased.
Leaving the stack of papers in her bag in order to hide them from prying student’s eyes, Meredith glanced at the clock and saw it was time to start. Class flew by quickly, another short writing experiment they shared with each other and a quick lecture about the semicolon and its uses. Meredith grinned at the student who had asked, remembering specifically in their paper that the semicolon had not been properly used about a dozen and a half times.
She made a note to check on it when the second paper was due. With about ten minutes before it was time to leave, Meredith ended the lecture and class in order to hand back papers to students. She called out each student’s name and handed them back their papers. Ainsley was in the middle of the pile, and they made eye contact when Meredith handed hers back. A shiver ran down Meredith’s back. Some students booked it out of the room without looking at their papers and others opened them, immediately searching for the grade at the end.
Ainsley was one of the latter. She flipped through each page and read over the notes, no expression on her face. Meredith packed up her own bag, more slowly than she normally would have on paper-handing-back day. She watched Ainsley with interest as she flipped through the end and read the note. Ainsley must have read it twice because it took her long enough to look up and around the room.
They made eye contact and another shiver ran down Meredith’s spine. She put her glasses on the closed buttons of her jacket and stood up straight to give Ainsley the exact same look, hoping for some kind of reaction. It would be so much better if she wasn’t the only one struggling with the attraction to the depths she was. Meredith blanched at the thought and grabbed her bag, walking toward the door.
“Meredith,” Ainsley said.
“Yeah?”
“You said in this note you wanted to talk. Have time now?”
Worrying her lower lip, Meredith glanced at her watch on her hand and calculated how long it would be before she could run home for the day. She had no office hours on Thursday and could easily have slipped home after the class.
“Sure. I have time now,” Meredith answered and nodded her head in the direction of the hallway.
They walked back to Meredith’s office in companionable silence, and Meredith ushered Ainsley in, shutting the door behind them. After she shut the door, she regretted her choice and wanted to open it again, if only to make sure nothing happened, but it was already too late. She found herself walking back to her desk and sitting down in her chair, setting her bag against the base of her desk.
“So what was the note about?”
“I think you have real talent.”
Ainsley didn’t say anything in response. Meredith’s stomach churned and boiled with the possibilities of what could happen. She couldn’t quite read Ainsley’s expression, but she was worried it would turn into the same conversation they’d had over a week ago.
“Because?” Ainsley finally asked.
“Because what? You have talent. I recognized that talent.”
Ainsley shook her head and stood up, heading for the door. Meredith shot up out of her seat and put her hand on Ainsley’s as soon as her hand covered the doorknob. They looked at each other, Meredith barely towering over Ainsley with only the help of her heels to keep her taller. Ainsley’s dark eyes looked up at her, anger swirling in her irises.
“What are you doing?” Meredith asked.
“Leaving. There’s no point in me being here.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You obviously gave me this grade because of the other night. I don’t know if it’s because you feel bad for me or what, but clearly it affected your judgment. Please, let me leave.”
“Ainsley—that’s not why I gave you the grade.”
“I never get grades like this on first papers of the year.”
“Then take it as a compliment. Please, sit down.”
Ainsley’s jaw clenched, the muscles in her cheek working quickly. They locked gazes again, and Ainsley promptly turned around and sat back down in the wooden chair across from Meredith’s desk.
“Thank you,” Meredith whispered and sat down in her own chair. “I did not give you the grade because of the other night. It’s not how I grade.”
“Ainsley…” Meredith paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to explain to Ainsley what had happened. “…There’s a reason why I have you put cover pages on your papers and why I don’t ask for the name in the header. I don’t want to know whose paper I’m grading when I’m grading. I don’t see the name. I flip all the papers to the second page, and then I go through and grade them all. I’m not aware until I either finish grading or even sometimes until I input the grades into the computer. I graded your paper without knowing it was yours.”
Ainsley flicked her thumb over one of the zippers on her backpack, not making eye contact with Meredith. Meredith’s heart was in her throat as she waited for any type of reaction, but she didn’t get one right away. Silence filtered through the room, the only noise was the steady strum of the clicking clock above her door.
“So…so I deserved that grade?”
“Absolutely,” Meredith said.
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.” Meredith smiled at Ainsley, who looked far younger than normal as she sat across from her in the office.
Ainsley sat up a little straighter. “You—you weren’t just giving me the grade because I said you were beautiful?”
The color dropped from Meredith’s cheeks. Her stomach plummeted further down than she had known it possible to go. Closing her eyes, she gathered her senses before looking at Ainsley to answer her.
“You remember that?”
Ainsley nodded.
“It’s not because of that. I’ve been called beautiful before, even by students.”
“Not drunk students you pick up on the side of the road.”
“Well, that’s certainly true.” Meredith chuckled and relaxed back in her chair. The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask it. If Ainsley remembered the kiss, then she would certainly remember that they were supposed to talk about it. Regretting her decision once again to shut her office door, Meredith waited out the time and the gumption Ainsley clearly had.
Ainsley let go of her backpack, putting it on the ground. The tension in the room was rising, and Meredith was doing nothing to stop it. Each second that passed added another pound of sexual tension on top of the rest. Ainsley was beautiful and in her office; Meredith couldn’t deny that fact.
Ainsley’s chestnut hair was smooth and sleek as it ran down her back from the messy bun at the base of her neck. Her eyes were the most compelling though. They held a wisdom a twenty-year-old should never possess, a wisdom acquired rather than given. Her cheeks had a blush to them, but Meredith was sure that was new rather than something always there. She longed to reach out and brush her fingertips over Ainsley’s tinted cheeks.
Each time Ainsley breathed, her chest rose up and her breasts pushed against the top of her t-shit. Meredith’s gaze drifted down when Ainsley took a particularly large breath, and she flushed when Ainsley caught her. Their gazes locked again, and the silence in the room was becoming unbearable. Meredith had to get out, had to have the weekend to herself with Sam and get Ainsley Jacobs out of her brain for just a few more days.
“I remember most of that night—well, most after being picked up on the side of the road.”
“Do you, now?” Meredith licked her lips and struggled to breathe. Ainsley was sitting right in front of her, in her office at the school of all places, and teasing her. Ainsley had to be teasing her—there was no other explanation for it, and Meredith was falling right into line.
“I do.”
“Do you remember not being able to tell me where you lived?”
Ainsley pursed her lips, and Meredith chuckled.
“I didn’t think so. I asked several times, drove around for more than an hour while trying to wake you up, and you still couldn’t let me know. But now that I do know, I can certainly bring you home next time.”
“Who said there was going to be a next time?”
Meredith shrugged and leaned back in her chair, needing to do something to work the tension out of her muscles and needing something to distract her from the ball of sexual energy across the tiny room from her.
“I told you if you ever needed me to pick you up again, I would gladly do so.”
“I don’t make a habit of getting drunk.”
“You don’t?”
“I do not,” Ainsley answered, her eyes narrowed. “And I would prefer to see you sober. Makes it a much more pleasant visit.”
Meredith shuddered. The way Ainsley said the word pleasant had tingles racing through her body and gathering in one distinct place. God, I would give anything to get up and walk over right now, Meredith thought. She wanted to kiss her when they were both fully aware of everything.
“It wasn’t unpleasant,” Meredith answered, her voice hitching on the last word.
“I remember.”
“Do you?”
“I do,” Ainsley said. “I remember you helping me inside. I remember talking to you—kissing you.”
Meredith swallowed. Ainsley’s voice slowed down, and Meredith detected a hint of a drawl when she said the last two words. Her heart was ready to pound its way out of her chest, and she was certain her cheeks were far more flushed than she wanted them to be. Everything in her body was giving her away to Ainsley and letting Ainsley know exactly what she was doing.
Taking a deep gasp of breath, Meredith nodded. “And I assume you remember what I said afterward.”
“That we would talk in the morning.”
“I didn’t think you remembered. You didn’t bring it up.”
“How was I supposed to bring it up? You’re my professor.”
Meredith nodded and closed her eyes, sighing. And that was just it. She was Ainsley’s professor, not some college student who got wrapped up in dreams of uncomplicated love. She wasn’t some young kid on the block anymore; she’d been around the block more than once and the last time…the last time she had promised was going to be her last.
“It doesn’t affect anything. You were drunk, Ainsley. I’m sorry if you think it does, but it doesn’t. I don’t want you to think it changes my opinion of you in anyway. I don’t know how to make you believe that.”
“I believe it on some level.”
Meredith narrowed her eyes. “And what level is that.”
Ainsley stood up, setting her backpack on the chair before walking over to Meredith. Her hips swayed with each step, and Meredith’s gaze was brought back to Ainsley’s breasts when she leaned over the chair, her lips particularly close to Meredith’s ear.
“I don’t think you’ll grade me differently.”
“Then why—”
“Because it’s fun to watch.”
Ainsley backed off. She picked up her bag and made for the door.
Meredith fumbled for words, her body working in overdrive. Ainsley had been so forward—no one had ever been that forward with her before. She took a heave of a breath before she shook her head.
“Ainsley, I did ask you to meet with me for a reason.”
“Oh?”
“I want you to rework your piece a bit, enter a contest.”
“What contest?”
Meredith turned in her desk and grabbed a piece of paper off it, handing it over to Ainsley. She waited for a brief moment as Ainsley scanned the piece and then looked up at her.
“I think you have a good chance of winning it.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really?”
Ainsley smiled, bright and beautiful. Meredith grinned back, warmth spreading throughout her limbs as Ainsley turned and left the room without another word. If anything, her afternoon had certainly been far more interesting than she had anticipated. Meredith turned back to her desk, ready to do one more lesson plan before she shut down her office for the weekend.
Chapter Seven
Meredith finished baking most of the chicken potpie at home. All she needed to do was
heat it up at Sam’s and it would be ready for them to eat. She’d made one for each of them even though she didn’t know if Jeremy would be able to dine with them or not. She pulled them out of the oven just as they were finished cooking and set them each on a cookie sheet to be able to transport them more easily.
The wine on her counter was already drunk, and she didn’t want to refill her glass before driving over to Sam’s apartment, even though he didn’t live that far from her. He’d moved there when Jeremy became unable to work any longer. He’d wanted to be closer to the school so if necessary he could pop home quickly if Jeremy needed him, and he’d wanted to live entirely on one floor to make it easier for Jeremy to move around.
Meredith set her empty wine glass in the sink before turning on the water and rinsing it out. She cleaned it and set it on the rack to dry. Walking to the door, Meredith grabbed her jacket and gloves, tying the tie around her waist after buttoning it up. It hung just above her knees, but the deep red color on it was beautiful and matched wonderfully with her hair. She went back to the kitchen and grabbed the potpies, heading out to her car.
After she had everything locked up, she got into her car and drove to Sam’s. She didn’t know why, but the rock in the pit of her stomach grew bigger with each block she turned. Sam had been her best friend for more years than she cared to count, and subsequently, Jeremy was also a close friend. They’d done most everything together until he’d gotten sick.
Taking a deep breath, Meredith gripped the steering wheel hard and continued to drive the half mile to Sam’s and Jeremy’s. It didn’t take her long, and once she pulled into the gated lot, she parked in front of their apartment. Sam’s car was looking run down, which she noticed when she passed by. It wasn’t clean like it normally was, and there were scratches along the side from someone hitting his vehicle in the parking lot at the school. Normally he would have had them fixed within a week, but it had been close to a year. Shaking her head, Meredith grabbed the potpies from the back seat of her car and made her way to Sam’s door.
Memoir in the Making: A May-December Romance Page 6
