“What if it does the opposite?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if it makes me hornier than I already am? Which is a scary prospect, but it could just happen.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
Ainsley rolled her eyes and threw the sponge into the sink, the sound of the dishwasher echoing in the kitchen and living area as she walked back to the hall closet. “You don’t know that.”
“I do. Because I know you. And I know sex.”
She rolled her eyes again and dragged out the vacuum cleaner. She plugged it in and then went and sat on her bed, mulling over the idea in her head. Adam did have a point, but she did too. She just had to weigh which one was the better point and which way the whole masturbation thing might actually go.
“You can’t fuck her, Ainsley. I know you want to, but it would be bad all around if you did.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “Doesn’t make me want to stop from thinking about it though.”
“Then think about it in a useful fashion.”
She narrowed her eyes even though he couldn’t see and flopped onto her side, wanting to scream into her pillow. The whole thing was messed up. She would be masturbating to thoughts of her professor, and then she would have to go to class the next day and look at her professor in the face. Either that or she could wait until Friday afternoon. Yeah, that’s a much better idea, she thought.
“It’s only somewhat useful. It doesn’t solve the problem of the crush.”
“Well, I can’t help you with that one. But I think it’s more than a crush at this point anyway.”
Ainsley pursed her lips, knowing he was right. Adam truly was insightful on some things, but this little crush thing had lasted over a month and it was only getting worse instead of better. The more she found out about Meredith, the more she liked her and wanted to be with her—and not necessarily in a sexual manner. The more she wanted to be in her presence, the worse the crush thing became. And Adam was right, it was beyond a crush. She was full-out infatuated with her professor. Ainsley groaned.
“That’s it! Right there. You got this.”
“The crush or the masturbation.”
“Well, both.” He chuckled into the phone, and Ainsley had the overwhelming urge to hang up on him just to make a point.
She took a heavy breath and nodded. “You’re right. I’ll try it. If anything, maybe it’ll relax me a bit.”
“Right, so when is this potluck?”
“Six. I’m going over a bit early though to help Meredith set up for it. She’s been kind of strung out to dry on this one and doesn’t really have any help.”
“You’re helping out the Hot One?”
“Yes, I am.”
“And you didn’t think that maybe avoiding her would be the better course of action? Look, I know you like her and all, but it’s not healthy to keep sticking yourself in situations where you’re going to be alone with her. She could lose her job over this. It’s against policy.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It is. I looked it up.”
“You did what?”
“I looked it up. I was curious, so I looked it up. It is against school policy for any faculty or staff to have relations with a student. Now—there are exceptions made, sometimes, but I have a feeling there wouldn’t be in this case. Too many issues to handle at once, and it’s easier to just be rid of it.”
“How does your prof get away with it, then?”
“Honestly? He’s a man, and he’s straight. It sucks, I know it sucks, but it’s how it is.”
“Fuck that shit.”
“I know. But because this is so different because of those two things—she could get fired over it. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”
“No.”
“So then don’t think about it, don’t put yourself in situations where you can be alone with her, and please, oh God please, Ainsley, masturbate.”
“Fine.”
Ainsley’s head swam. She hadn’t thought Meredith could get fired, and it wasn’t something Meredith ever really made clear to her. But if that was the case, then she definitely wanted to keep her distance as much as possible. Ainsley held her phone away from her ear and checked to see how long they had been talking. She shook her head and put the phone back against her cheek.
“I need to vacuum, and I really don’t think you’ll want to be on the other end when I do that.”
“I don’t.”
“I’ll call or text later.”
“You do that. Don’t forget! Crossroads is tonight.”
“All right,” she said and hung up. Vacuuming would hopefully take her mind off the bomb Adam had just dropped.
#
Meredith walked into the classroom with her bag over her shoulder. She stopped short when she saw Ainsley Jacobs sitting in her normal spot. Glancing up at the clock, she noted Ainsley was a good five minutes early, and for some odd reason, there was no other student in the room.
Ainsley held up her hands and stood up, walking over to the desk where Meredith set her bag down. Her stomach churned just at the sight of Ainsley, butterflies kicking up and making her clench her muscles. Ainsley walked up to the desk and leaned on it sideways, so one leg was raised up and the other held her body up from falling to the ground below.
Meredith raised one brow in Ainsley’s direction and hoped to God she didn’t have to say something first. She didn’t think her voice would hold. She didn’t think she would say what her brain wanted her to say, and she didn’t think she would be able to contain herself much longer. Ainsley had been plaguing her thoughts for weeks.
“I wanted to apologize,” Ainsley said.
“For?” Meredith’s voice cracked, so she cleared her throat and repeated herself. “For?”
“I didn’t realize some things, and now I have been informed of them, and I wanted to apologize.”
“O…kay,” Meredith answered, dragging out the word in her hesitation. The change in Ainsley was palatable, and it was not easing her discomfort. Ainsley had gone from confident sexual woman to confident professional, and the change rocked Meredith.
“I just—I wanted to tell you I was sorry because I didn’t think about some things, but now I have, and I won’t be doing anything to make you uncomfortable anymore. It was very unprofessional and childish of me, and I’m sorry.”
Meredith wanted to grab her by her cheeks and kiss her hard. She didn’t care who walked into the room, but the change from pursuant to stepping back and letting things lie was gripping. Meredith clenched her fists and nodded her head sharply, swallowing to try and keep her mind on the right track.
“I think I understand.”
“I just wanted you to know, and I figured it would be better to tell you here than in your office.”
“M—my office would have been fine.” Because then Meredith would really have no reason to hold back, especially if they had shut the door like the last few times. Meredith chastised herself for the thought and blinked back at Ainsley. “I don’t want you to be afraid to come to me with anything you need.”
“That’s certainly not a problem.”
Ainsley stared at her, the look deepening with each passing second, and Meredith caught the double meaning after a few seconds. She winced internally and closed her eyes, trying to center herself. If she was this worked up before class, then it was going to be difficult to make it through the lecture without even more thoughts invading her.
“I know,” Meredith answered and licked her lips. Her body was on fire. Every nerve ending was telling her to make a move, and she had to staunchly hold it all back. She was going to need a whole bottle of wine for herself that evening if the feeling continued throughout the day. “I’m glad you feel comfortable coming to me.”
Ainsley nodded. “I do, but I don’t think I’ll be stopping by your office for a bit. I’ll still be by tomorrow though.”
Meredith groaned. She had completely spac
ed the potluck the next night. She’d been focused entirely on Ainsley right in front of her in a school setting. If she could barely contain herself there, containing herself in her home was going to be even worse torture. But she couldn’t take back her invitation or try and convince Ainsley not to come. At the very least other people would be around so it would make it harder for anything to happen. Meredith clung onto that thought and held it close to her.
“Good. It’ll be an experience.”
Students filed into the classroom, slowly at first and then more quickly as the clock ticked closer to the start of class. Meredith nodded to Ainsley in a dismissal, and Ainsley went back to her chair. Meredith took a breath, the first one she felt like she’d had in minutes. She unpacked her bag carefully, using the repetitive motions to calm her racing heart.
The clock ticked over to ten until the top of the hour, and Meredith started the class. Pressing her hands together, she changed her mind quickly and had them all pull out paper and pens. “We’re going to start today with a fifteen minute writing exercise.”
She grabbed the pieces of paper she had brought with her and put them into the small cup she had brought. Meredith walked to the far side of the room and held it out for the first student she encountered.
“Please take two pieces of paper. I want you to write on the two words you choose. This is free-form, so it doesn’t have to be memoir. It’s simply to get the juices going. If you want to keep it in memoir form, feel free to do that.”
She continued down the line of students until she reached Ainsley. Ainsley locked gazes with Meredith while she reached into the cup and pulled out two pieces of paper. She didn’t look at them right away. Instead, she kept her gaze locked on Meredith’s face, and Meredith shivered from it. Meredith intentionally stepped to the side to hand out the rest of the papers. Once she got back to her own desk, she checked the time on the clock to note a starting point.
“Go ahead and start writing,” she said to the class as a whole, looking back at Ainsley briefly before staring down at her own two words and the blank sheet of paper on her desk.
Meredith let out a breath, trying her very best not to look up at Ainsley for the entire fifteen minutes. She scribbled on the paper, writing about betrayal and bubbles, and each scene of betrayal appearing to her like a bubble in its own right. She had three down when she looked up.
Ainsley wasn’t looking at her but at the paper on her desk. Meredith let out a breath and smiled to herself when Ainsley reached up and brushed the hair out of her face and behind her hear, the silky chestnut locks falling right out again. Normally Ainsley wore her hair up, but it was down, and Meredith could see why it wasn’t her usual. Ainsley struggled to get much written as she futzed with her hair and putting it out of her face.
Meredith grinned and looked at the clock again—only three more minutes. She checked on each of the students in her classroom to make sure they were focused on writing rather than anything else. There was one student already on their phone, texting away, but Meredith figured with only a couple minutes left to write, they had perhaps finished their exercise already. Instead of chastising them, she looked back at Ainsley.
She shifted in her seat, embarrassed by the reaction her body was having toward her student. Meredith wanted desperately to cancel the rest of class and to run back to office and hide, but it simply wasn’t an option. Instead she took a deep breath and let her voice ring out through the room.
“Finish up your sentences, if you will. I think we’ll just go through these exercises today, and I’ll let you have a bit of an early weekend. No reason to keep you. We’ll make up the lecture part next week.”
Students smiled back in her direction, and when she locked gazes with Ainsley again, she was disappointed to see worry gracing Ainsley’s face. Meredith shook her head and turned back to the rest of her class.
“If anyone would like to share, we’ll get started.” Meredith focused entirely on the class and pushed her thoughts of Ainsley to the side. This was neither the time nor the place to be thinking about what compromising positions she could find her student in.
Chapter Ten
The bed was soft against her back. She had her door shut and locked, and she kept listening for noise from the living room and the other bedrooms. She’d heard her roommates have sex plenty of times, but for some reason, she was shy enough she didn’t want them to hear her. Ainsley sat on her bed and looked at the drawer right next to it.
Adam was right; she needed to do this. He was supposed to come over and meet with her before she went to the potluck, and she wanted to have this done and out of the way before he wanted to dress her. Sighing, Ainsley reached into the drawer and pulled out the sleek dildo, batteries at the ready. The lube came next. She set them on her pillow and stood up, pulling down her jeans and taking off her shirt.
It really was for the best. It would help relax her, get rid of the tension, and then she would be able to spend the whole night in Meredith’s presence with only thinking about it and not feeling it. At least she hoped. Ainsley lay on her bed again, her feet just under the edge of the covers to keep them warm.
Flitting her hands up and down her sides and breasts, she closed her eyes. The touch was soft and gentle, supple even. She tweaked a nipple and let out a breath, clenching her eyes shut more tightly. The television was on in the other room, and she tried to push the sound to the background and only focus on what she was doing to herself.
She pinched her right nipple between her thumb and forefinger and rolled it, pleasure surging through her breast and down her stomach. Adam had been right whether he intended to mention it or not—she hadn’t done this recently enough.
Not wanting to wait any longer than necessary and risk having her roommates discover her in a precarious position, Ainsley grabbed the lube and her toy. Clicking open the top of the bottle of lube, Ainsley turned it over and squeezed it out onto her body. Taking the toy, she turned the vibration on and rubbed it against herself in circles.
Pleasure shot through her body. Her back arched off the bed, and her jaw clenched tightly. A moan escaped her lips, and she swallowed it down as best she could, trying to be as quiet as possible. She didn’t want anyone hearing her. Ainsley continued the movement, even when her body ached for more. She wanted to have just the right speed and stamina to make it last. She was going to do it once this time around.
Her hips undulated, and shivers ran up and down her spine. Heat rushed to her cheeks, and she was forced to take a deep gasping breath. She was right on the cusp, right where she wanted to be. She was so close, her mind set on Meredith and her smile, those pale blue-green eyes when she grinned.
The doorbell rang. Ainsley clenched her eyes shut and tried to regroup her focus, but when Adam’s voice rang through the hallway, she panicked. Quickly donning her clothes, Ainsley shoved her toy and lube back into the nightstand, cringing at the thought that it wasn’t cleaned.
Adam knocked on her door, and she stood up, smoothing her hands down her jeans to steady herself. She hoped her cheeks weren’t still flushed, she hoped the room didn’t smell, and she hoped to God Adam wouldn’t say anything. Opening the door, he brushed inside and sat down on her bed with a bounce and a grin.
“So?” he asked.
Groaning, Ainsley sat next to him. “So what?”
“Did it work? Do you feel better?”
“I’d feel better if you hadn’t interrupted me.”
Adam’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. He stared at her with wide eyes and then shook his head. “I didn’t.”
“You did, trust me, you did.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Right, sure you are. Now, why are you here this early again?”
“I need to dress you. You can’t go to a potluck with all of your professors dressed like a slob. You know, I can leave and come back later.” He pointed to the door.
“It’s not going to happen. Just give it up.” Ainsley shifted uncomfor
tably in her jeans and damp underwear. She would have to change those before going to the party that was for sure.
Adam shrugged and shot up out of the bed. He headed for her closet, and Ainsley groaned.
“If we do this, you’re picking up the room. I’m not having it a total mess this time.”
“All right. I can do that.”
“Good.” Ainsley crossed her arms and looked from Adam to the door. “Actually, I’m going to run to the bathroom, clean something I think needs to be cleaned and then I’ll be right back. You judge, I punch you.”
Adam held up his hands. Ainsley reached into her drawer and grabbed her toy. She tried to keep it at her side as she raced from the room into the bathroom just down the hall. Turning on the hot water, she shoved the piece of plastic under it and cleaned it with soap and water. She cursed Adam under her breath, still feeling revved and ready to go despite the obnoxious intrusion on her own personal time.
She had no idea specifically what Adam was doing in her room, but she was sure she would walk back in and he would be disgusted with her clothing selection. Ainsley finished washing her toy and rinsed it. Grabbing the hand sanitizer, she squirted it onto her palm and rubbed it along the dildo. Dabbing it dry with her towel, she went back to her room, again with the toy by her side.
Shoving it back into the nightstand, Ainsley turned and looked at her room. It was a complete mess. Adam had torn apart her closet and everything in her drawers, including her underwear drawer, and was putting together outfits for her to try on.
“Adam…” she whined.
“I needed to see it all,” he said, holding his hands out in front of him and grinning. “Your clothes suck. I need to take you shopping. Where do you shop? The Gap?”
“Sears,” she muttered.
Adam turned on her with a gasp and shocked expression on his face. She determined it was half-fake and half-real because he probably was surprised she openly admitted to him she shopped there but not surprised that’s where the majority of her clothes came from.
“I like to be comfortable,” she answered back and raised her eyebrow at him. “Can we get this over with?”
Memoir in the Making: A May-December Romance Page 9
