Commitment

by K. M. Golland

  ‘Why are your breasts singing?’ Alexis asked.

  ‘Because they’re drunk like us. When we’re drunk we sing. So do they.’

  ‘Is that Dean ringing?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Are you going to answer it?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘It could be important.’

  ‘Yeah, and so is your wife’s fortieth birthday.’

  She pouted. ‘You should answer it. The cake can wait.’

  ‘No it can’t.’ The ringing stopped and I smiled.

  ‘Okay, if you say so.’

  Taking me by the hand, she led us to the front of the room where we stopped behind the cake. A wolf whistle interrupted conversation, allowing us to gain everyone’s attention.

  I offered Derek a thumbs-up in thanks.

  ‘Excuse me, everyone. It’s time for cake,’ Alexis yelled.

  Sebastian and other waiters and waitresses handed out glasses of champagne to the adults, and sparkling apple juice to the kids. And when everyone had a drink in their hand, Alexis continued.

  ‘Right. Forty years ago today, the world ended.’

  I whacked her arm as the hum of chuckling quietened.

  ‘But …’ she continued, ‘then this woman right here brought it back to life.’

  ‘Nice save,’ I murmured, playfully glaring at her.

  ‘Anyway, as I was saying, this woman right here is more than just a breath of fresh air. She’s a breath of helium: crazy, fun, annoying on the ear, and deadly with excess consumption.’

  Alexis covered her tits — which was smart considering I was seconds away from punching them again — and continued. ‘Tash has the ability to bring tears to your eyes, both good and bad, and when she speaks, you can’t help but laugh and sometimes wish she hadn’t spoken at all. But most of all, like helium, she lifts you. High. There’s just no being down when she’s around. So, to my Minion and best friend, thank you for keeping my feet off the ground. I love you. Happy birthday.’

  Tears.

  Real tears.

  I wiped my eyes. ‘Damn dust. Seriously, hire some cleaners or something.’

  ‘Now who’s on the throne of lies, huh?’

  Ignoring her, I took a deep breath and said a few words. ‘Where do I start? Oh, that’s right … gases. Unlike me, Alexis isn’t a breath of helium. She’s a breath of nitrous oxide. You know that funny gas you get when you’re giving birth? Yeah, too much of Lexi and you’ll go batshit crazy. But it’s a good batshit crazy. The kind you know you shouldn’t say yes to but do anyway because fun times. Oh, and she’s also highly explosive.’

  ‘You can say that again,’ Bryce interjected.

  She pointed to him. ‘You’ll keep, Clark.’

  ‘Anyway, apart from being batshit crazy and highly explosive, she’s also indispensable.’

  ‘You can say that again,’ Bryce added.

  We all laughed.

  ‘Without Lex in my life, I wouldn’t be whole. My mum once said to me that a good friend is good, a bad friend is bad, but a good bad friend or a bad good friend is perfect. Lex is my good bad friend … or is it bad good friend? Either way, her friendship is perfection.’

  I turned to her and held her hands in front of us, and the struggle to keep a straight face as I prepared to tell her something that she thought was momentous when it wasn’t was undeniably difficult. So I broke into the Minion Banana song before I burst into hysterics and gave myself away.

  ‘Ba na na, ba na nana.’

  Her lips twitched, yet she didn’t cave. Instead, she joined in, singing our favourite song, along with our children, ’til the very end — because they were the only other people in the room who knew the lyrics.

  They were our Minions.

  * * *

  After the speeches, the cake was cut, and one by one I said goodbye to my friends and family, thanking them for their gifts and for celebrating with me. A few of them — my mother in her not-so-subtle hostile Italian tongue — had asked where Dean was, and all I could say was that he’d been held up at work, which was a big fat fucking lie. Because shortly after Lex and I had finished getting our Minion on, my breasts had vibrated with an incoming message:

  Dean: I’m leaving soon.

  I’m sorry, love.

  It’s been a crazy night.

  Crazy night? I’ll give him a fucking crazy night when I see him. I was so angry and disappointed, but mainly embarrassed. Embarrassed that his justification for not being at my birthday party was abstruse at best.

  ‘I’m gonna get going,’ I said to Lex, hugging her tightly. ‘Thank you so much for everything. I really mean that. You’re amazing and I love you.’

  ‘Anytime, hon. You’re totally worth it.’ She squeezed me even tighter and lowered her voice to whisper in my ear. ‘You sure you’re okay?’

  I matched her barely audible tone. ‘Not really. But I will be. I just want to know what the hell happened.’

  ‘You will. When he gets back.’

  ‘Yeah, when he gets back.’ I pulled away and moved to Bryce. ‘Thank you, boss-man, I’m calling it a night. You’re the hottest Minion I’ve ever seen and my Minion bits can’t handle your Minion hotness.’

  ‘Goodnight, Tash,’ he responded, all serious-like.

  As he released me, the door buzzer sounded, followed by Dean bursting through the door. ‘Fuck!’ he mouthed, running his hand through his hair as he took in the empty apartment. ‘Tash, I’m so sorry. Hillary—’

  ‘Save it. I’m going to bed. You may want to head upstairs and say goodnight to the boys, though. I’ve only just tucked them in. And after that,’ I said, straightening my purple shoulders, ‘you might as well go home.’

  CHAPTER

  25

  DEAN

  I was in the shit. Big shit. The shittiest big shit I’d ever been in. And what was worse was I still had to tell her what had happened with Hill. About the kiss. About how it wasn’t my fault.

  She wasn’t gonna like it, and I couldn’t blame her.

  Choosing not to go home — because doing the opposite to what they tell you to do when they’re angry was a proven success — I said goodnight to the boys, apologised to Lexi who told me to go apologise to my wife instead, and made my way to our suite.

  My stomach churned and tightened, my body temperature climbing as I walked along the hallway, counting the numbers until I reached suite 3907. Although it was gone midnight and technically no longer Tash’s birthday, I still felt terrible that I’d ruined it and would no doubt ruin it further when I told her what I had to tell her. Fuck! This is gonna be harder than I thought.

  I paused, deliberating for a split second whether or not to insert my room key card and enter. Could I just apologise for being late and leave the rest of my explanation for the next day? I could try. But I knew my wife. She would dig and dig until there was no explanation left, so I had to just come out and unearth the lot of it. I had to explain that I couldn’t leave Hillary alone in the state she was in, and I had to explain that when Hillary kissed me, she wasn’t thinking straight … because of the state she was in. None of it could wait. The sooner I got it all out in the open, the sooner we could get past it and move on.

  After swiping my key card through the door lock, I stepped into the room, darkness and silence greeting me, the ruffle of sheets the only sound I could hear.

  Suddenly, a lamp switched on and Tash sat up in bed, her hair still crazy and purple but her makeup removed.

  ‘I thought I told you to go home,’ she said, wiping her puffy red eyes.

  ‘I know what you told me to do. I don’t want to go home. I want to see my wife on her birthday.’

  ‘Bit late for that, don’t you think? It’s no longer my birthday.’

  Taking a seat on the end of the bed, I reached out and placed my hand on her leg. ‘I’m sorry, love. I never planned on missing your entire party.’

  ‘Yeah, well you did miss it. Congratulations,’ she snapped, dragging he
r legs out from under my touch and hugging her knees to her chest.

  My shoulders slumped. What was about to play out wasn’t gonna be good. Maybe I should just go and let her calm down first?

  ‘So, you gonna tell me what happened with your precious Hillary?’

  My eyes met hers. ‘Don’t be like that. She was a mess tonight. If you’d seen her, you’d understand.’

  ‘Well, I didn’t see her. You did. So tell me what the fuck happened.’

  ‘Okay,’ I said calmly. ‘Hear me out.’

  She held her hand to her ear, a sarcastic retort. I let it slide.

  ‘Everything was fine when Hill left work. She was her normal bubbly self. Then roughly an hour later, when I was about to pick up your cake—’

  ‘Oh yeah, the cake,’ Tash said, interrupting me. ‘Just so you know, you have Dale to thank for saving your arse tonight with respect to the cake.’

  ‘Dale?’ Jesus, that name annoyed the fuck out of me, more now than ever. ‘Why? What did he do?’

  ‘He arranged the most beautiful purple cake to be delivered when we found out you weren’t gonna make an appearance.’

  I sucked in a breath and blew it out slowly. ‘Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll thank him tomorrow.’

  ‘Good call. But please, go on,’ she said, waving her hand for me to continue. Again, another sarcastic retort I let slide.

  ‘I was just about to pick up your cake when Hillary called. She was in tears. Hysterical. I could barely make out what she was saying until I heard the words “drunk” and “hit me”. Tash, she sounded terrified, and that made me terrified for her. All I could think was go help her. She needs you.’

  Tash nodded. ‘Right.’

  ‘So I hightailed it to her house. Took me twenty minutes in peak hour.’

  ‘I don’t care how long it took, Dean. Get to the fucking point.’

  ‘There’s no need to be a bitch, Tash.’

  The scathing look she fired at me was so razor sharp it near sliced my chest open, so I closed my eyes, regretting that I’d come to the suite. I should have just gone home and explained when she wasn’t so ridiculously pissed off.

  ‘Anyway,’ I said through gritted teeth. ‘I got to her house and she’d barricaded herself inside. When she realised it was me, she unbolted the door and let me in.’

  Memories of how Hill had looked when that door swung open flicked across my mind, and I swallowed dryly. ‘She had a fat lip and it was bleeding, and her eye was already bruising up.’

  ‘Shit!’ Tash whispered, and it was the first sign of sympathy she’d shown since I walked through the door. Okay, maybe this won’t be so bad.

  ‘Yeah. I wanted to murder the bastard. He was lucky he was no longer there.’

  ‘Why didn’t she call the police? Why’d she call you?’

  ‘She was scared, I guess. He threatened her. He said that if she called the police he’d deny it and punish her worse next time. He’s a real piece of work.’

  ‘So did you call the police instead?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because she didn’t want me to. She was so terrified. She couldn’t stop shaking. It took me nearly an hour just to get her to stop shaking and crying.’

  Tash hugged her knees tighter. ‘So what happened next? Did you take her to the hospital?’

  ‘No. She didn’t want to leave the house so I encouraged her to put ice on her face instead.’

  ‘You should’ve encouraged her to go to the hospital.’

  ‘Don’t you think I tried?’ I exclaimed, dropping my head to my hands.

  She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know what you tried.’

  I scrubbed my face in frustration and sat upright. ‘Well, I did. I tried to persuade her to see a doctor at the very least, but she kept falling asleep.’

  ‘Yeah, because she was more than likely concussed,’ Tash snapped. ‘What’s wrong with you?’

  ‘Nothing. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I’ve never been in a situation like that, have I? All I knew was that having me there seemed to calm her down and make her feel safe, so I stayed and let her sleep.’

  She pursed her lips and nodded. ‘Then what happened when she woke up?’

  ‘She kissed me.’

  Tash shook her head and blinked, as if I hadn’t just said what I’d said. But I had. And I couldn’t take it back.

  She released her hold around her legs and they dropped to the mattress with a thud. ‘She kissed you … on the lips?’

  ‘Yeah,’ I admitted, again hanging my head.

  There was silence for a few seconds, and I didn’t know what the fuck to say. My mind was a whirlwind of crazy shit that I was still trying to understand.

  ‘Did you kiss her back?’ she asked quietly, her tone nowhere near as angry as I’d expected it to be.

  My eyes snapped to hers. ‘Of course not, love. I’d never do that.’

  ‘Oh my God!’ she wailed, bursting into tears.

  It tore me apart.

  ‘I’m so sorry.’ I shuffled along the bed until I was close enough to wrap my arms around her. ‘I never meant for any of this to happen. When I went to her aid, I never thought I would miss your entire party, and I never ever thought Hill would kiss me.’

  Her sobs grew louder, her shoulders racking violently, and for the second time in a matter of hours, I was in unfamiliar territory. Tash never cried this bad.

  ‘Stop crying. You’re ugly when you cry, remember?’

  She cried harder, and I thanked the gods I hadn’t fathered daughters. I wouldn’t cope. I wasn’t used to so many tears.

  ‘Hey,’ I said, rubbing her shoulders. ‘I swear I never kissed her back. It was just a quick peck that caught me off guard, and when I pulled away and asked what she was doing—’

  ‘I kissed Dale.’

  My body stilled, a chill shooting up the length of my spine. ‘What did you just say?’ Her grip around me tightened, but I loosened it and held her at arm’s length. ‘Tash?’

  She nodded, tears flooding her eyes and streaming down her face. ‘I didn’t mean it. It just kinda happened. We were in the pool and—’

  ‘You were where?’ I shot up from the bed and ran my hand through my hair, gripping it tightly. ‘WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU BOTH DOING IN THE POOL?’

  ‘We fell in.’

  ‘YOU FELL IN, JUST LIKE THAT?’

  ‘Yes. Well, no. I was leaving the pool deck and he ran after me and grabbed my arm and we both slipped and fell into the pool and—’

  ‘WHEN? TONIGHT?’ I growled.

  ‘Stop yelling at me. It was a couple of months ago; the night of the Australian Open gala.’

  ‘And you’re only just telling me this now? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, TASH!’ My mind rewound to the night of the gala, the same night we fought about her hair. The same night she was on camera with that fucking arsehole.

  ‘Yes. I wanted to tell you right after it happened, but you and I were in a bad place. So I thought I’d wait. But then things have been so great, and I didn’t want to ruin that, so I … I decided it didn’t matter.’ She stretched up on her knees and crawled to the edge of the bed. ‘Because it doesn’t matter. The kiss meant nothing. It was stupid and wrong, and just stupid —’

  ‘You’re fucking stupid if you expect me to think that kissing another man doesn’t matter. Of course it fucking matters. It matters a lot.’

  ‘STOP SWEARING AT ME!’

  ‘Who kissed who?’ I seethed, lowering my voice. ‘And was it just a kiss?’

  ‘Yes.’ She nodded frantically. ‘Just a kiss. Nothing else happened. I ended it.’

  ‘But you also started it, right? You said you kissed him.’

  Her nodding stopped and she slumped, and it was all the confirmation I could stomach.

  ‘Yeah. Real fucking good that is. FUCK!’ I shouted, turning around and heading for the door. ‘I shouldn’t have come back here. I need to go.’

  ‘Oh, go o
n then!’ she yelled. ‘Run away. Typical fucking Dean Jones. You ruin my birthday, kiss Hillary, and now you need to go? Okay, yeah, that’s right … run off and sweep it all under the rug like you always do.’

  ‘Don’t fucking bait me, Natasha. I won’t be sweeping anything under the rug. I’ve nothing to sweep. Unlike you, my floor is fucking clean. Yours is filthy.’

  She gasped and burst into tears again.

  ‘I didn’t kiss Hillary. But you, you kissed Dale, so you have plenty to sweep. YOU. Not the other way around.’ I turned to face her and watched her eyes widen with uncertainty as I closed the space between us, my lips barely touching her head as I reached into my pocket and retrieved the small gift I’d hidden in my car for weeks.

  Placing it in her hand, I said, ‘Happy birthday.’

  And then I went home.

  CHAPTER

  26

  TASH

  My hands shook as I cradled the small purple jewellery box. I was too scared and ashamed to open it, too afraid that if I did, the guilt of my actions would tarnish what was hidden inside. I didn’t want to do that so I placed it on the bedside table, as if it were glass and would shatter like my world at any second.

  Hearing that Hillary had pressed her lips to Dean’s had slashed my heart, but it was his admission of never kissing her back that had been the slow plunge of the serrated blade into the wound.

  He was right. He hadn’t failed me. It was the other way around.

  That said, I had every right to be hurt and angry that he’d missed my birthday and let me down, but knowing Dean and how pure and selfless his heart truly was, I understood his need to comfort and protect Hillary. Fuck, if I were in his shoes, I would’ve done the same thing, except I would’ve called the fucking police and still showed up to his birthday.

  Wiping a tear from my face, I shifted my focus from the jewellery box to my phone and sent Lexi a message.