“He has come to my bed! Did ye know that? Ahh, I can see ye didna,” Maura said in full confidence. She smiled at Maddie’s discomfort.
Connor couldn’t let this continue.
“You’re lying. You’re lying! Connor wouldn’t do that. Our marriage is sacred!” Maddie screamed.
Maddie’s head started spinning and all the blood drained from her face. Her breathing became shallow.
Dear God, was that why he was so cold to her, so distant?
Maura smiled, reveling in the way that Maddie responded to her barb.
“He’s in my bed. He says I please him the way ye never could!”
“No…no…” Maddie said breathlessly. Thoughts raced in her mind and she couldn’t capture one. She side-stepped, lost in confusion.
Connor moved forward and the look on his face made Maura take a step back.
“Enough!”
Maddie looked over to him and he saw her eyes. They were moist and unfocused.
“What Maura has said is untrue, Maddie.” Connor tried to reach out to her.
Maddie didn’t seem to be understanding what he was saying.
“Connor?”
“Yes, Maddie?” he asked, worriedly.
“I can’t feel my legs…”
Connor moved just in time to catch her in a dead faint. He picked her up and looked over at Maura.
“Yer days here are numbered, Maura. I want ye gone! Do not speak to my wife again,” he growled. “Were ye a man, I’d strike ye down. Be it as it may, I’m sorely tempted to regardless.”
Maura gasped, watching as Connor headed towards the castle.
“Dear Lord, what have ye done now, Connor!” Miriam said, getting closer to look at Maddie. “The worry is doing this to her, ye know.”
Connor felt choked up.
“Aye, Mother, I know. It is my fault. It’s time that this nonsense stopped,” Connor said as he began to ascend the stairs. “I will be unavailable for the remainder of the day. Please have two trays of supper sent up.”
Connor entered their chamber and set her down on their bed. He took off her clothes and settled next to her, watching her sleep.
Damn, he was the naïve one. He was stupid to believe that what he had done would protect her. It only served to sadden her and make her life miserable. If she had acted like such a pacifist with wenches like Maura, then his plan to protect her had failed.
After a brief slumber, Maddie stirred awake. She murmured something incoherent.
“Hello,” he said as she opened her eyes.
Tears gathered as she recalled that afternoon.
“I’m sorry,” she said shakily. “I’m sorry. I tried not to argue.”
He touched his forehead to hers. Pain and fear was evident on her face.
“I just want you to love me, Connor. I’m sorry I’m such a failure. It’s my fault. Everything is my fault,” she said crying softly.
“I love ye, Maddie. I’ve been distant and harsh because I would rather have ye hate me and live, than love me and die. I needed ye to obey me. I canna lose ye,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “I only wanted to protect ye from yerself.”
More tears fell from her eyes.
“You mean it, Connor? You still love me?”
“I always have, but it angered me that ye disregarded yer safety, Maddie. Ye matter to so many. Ye are a part of their lives and they love ye. Most importantly, ye are my life. I thought it didna matter how ye felt, as long as ye were alive, but I realize my error. I was foolish and selfish.”
She reached up and wound her arms around his neck. His eyes were intense as they bored into hers.
“I havena been to Maura’s bed since I met ye. She lied.”
“I know.”
He moved back and she saw his confusion. “How did ye know? It seemed like ye were beginning to believe it despite yer fervent denial to her.”
“I didn’t believe it because you’re a man of honor and of your word. Our vows are sacred and you would never break them. The more I heard her and thought about it, however, the more logic and reason lost its fight to fear and worry.”
Connor kissed her gently. He rubbed their noses together.
“Please, Maddie, not another day of my obedient wife. Please. I miss my fiery, argumentative, and opinionated wife.”
She laughed and it was music to his ears. Sweet music. He smiled at her.
“But promise me that ye will look after yer own safety, Maddie,” he said, his eyes soft but worried. He continued, “Promise me, for if something happened to ye, I would cease to breathe. Cease to live,” Connor said gruffly.
“I promise ye,” she said and smiled gently.
He leaned down and kissed her.
They ate when their super was brought and then they kept themselves busy. They made slow, sweet love all night long.
Later, when they were reveling in the afterglow of their lovemaking, she began to talk about her dreams. Connor wasn’t doing much listening, though. He was spent.
Maddie had laced her fingers through his, using his chest as a pillow.
“You know, Connor, I’ve always wanted to teach children. That was something I was looking forward to when entering the convent. I used to think that if I couldn’t have children myself, teaching others was just as good.” She paused and smiled, remembering her old dream. “My father never wanted me to learn anything. He didn’t want me to learn about the history of my country or how to read, but the sisters at the convent always taught me when I visited them. Although I wouldn’t be in the convent, I would still love to teach children,” she said, sighing.
She picked her head up.
“Connor? Are you awake?” she asked, looking for a sign of consciousness.
After a couple of moments of silence, she leaned up and kissed him gently on his forehead. “I love ye.”
She joined him in dreamland.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The next couple of weeks were back to normal. Everyone enjoyed the amusement provided by Connor and Maddie. Sometimes the family and guests even fought as to who would sit or stand front row to witness up close the fire between the two. Much to everyone’s delight and expectations, Maddie won most of the arguments. It was utterly refreshing for Connor. Thank the Lord everything was normal again.
Maddie was happy and at peace. Since the day of Maura’s confrontation, Maura hadn’t bothered her. She had heard from Kirk that Connor threatened Maura and ordered her to leave. Maddie continued to spend her days playing with the children and doing a little light cleaning. She couldn’t explain why it was that she was still feeling ill. Every morning her stomach turned over. Many times, she felt lightheaded throughout the day. She kept sleeping more and more, and felt oddly weak. Now, she didn’t really have to force feed herself large portions. Nay, all she wanted to do was eat. She was cleaning her and Connor’s chamber when Miriam came in to converse with her.
“I believe that it’s time for her to return and face her fear, Maddie,” Miriam said.
“I agree. It needs to be done slowly. Returning to the McLeans will bring back a host of emotions and memories, but perhaps ‘tis best that she face her fear, else, she’ll never return there and see her dear friend Cassie,” Maddie responded while storing away her freshly cleaned and sun-dried dresses.
“Yes, ye’re right, Maddie. I knew ye’d help me resolve this conflict. What’s the matter?” Miriam asked when she witnessed Maddie grabbing hold of the bedpost for support.
“Oh, Miriam, I’m not sure! When Connor was being so distant with me and I thought he didn’t love me any longer, I was in such turmoil. I woke every morning feeling ill, and would empty my stomach. I fainted and grew dizzy frequently because of the worry that he no longer loved me. Now, even after his renewed vow of love, my symptoms remain the same. I still wake up with a weak stomach that I must still run to empty. I am still lightheaded. Now, though, I sleep too much and instead of force-feeding myself food, I find that I actually have an extr
emely large appetite,” Maddie said with obvious distress as she sat on the bed.
Miriam smiled. Maddie looked up and caught the showing of teeth.
“Miriam, why are you smiling like the kitten who licked the cream? Something could seriously be wrong with me. I might be suffering from a deadly ailment, and I am so frightened,” Maddie said and burst into tears.
Miriam came over and rubbed Maddie’s back, bringing her into her arms.
“I doona smile at yer belief that ye are ill, Maddie. It would sadden me greatly if ye had a deadly ailment, much like a mother saddened when losing a child.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insinuate that you would. You see,” Maddie said making a gesture, “I’m overly emotional, too.” Tears fell from her eyes.
“Maddie, ye arena suffering from a deadly ailment. Nay, ‘tis the opposite in fact. Ye are experiencing one of the greatest joys a woman can experience.”
Maddie looked up with perplexity.
“When was the last time ye had yer monthly?”
“I can’t remember. Probably since a month after my marriage to Connor. Yes! That’s it. I haven’t had it since then,” Maddie replied, still not catching on.
“Ye’ve been married for how long now? Four months?”
“Four and a half months,” Maddie corrected.
“It was after then,” Miriam said.
“After then, what?”
“That ye got with child,” Miriam said and waited for a reaction.
Maddie’s eyes grew wide and her hands instinctively went to her stomach.
“Miriam! I’ve had to let my dresses out some but I didn’t think anything of it since I had been eating more portions,” Maddie said smiling.
“Ye are carrying, Maddie!”
Maddie hugged Miriam, laughing.
“I am so excited! We must keep this silent from Connor and everyone, Miriam! I want it to be perfect when I tell him. Mayhap in a couple of days.”
“Oh, then Katie and I shall miss his reaction, but I will keep this a secret from all until ye decide to share this wonderful news.” Miriam hugged Maddie.
“I’m scared, Miriam. What if I die in childbed?”
“I will be there for ye, Maddie. Ye will not die in the childbed so take the thought out of yer mind. I didna die, and ye willna either. I couldna be happier that ye are having my first grandbairn. Ye will be a great mother. Of that I am positive. And Connor- he’ll be overprotective, but he’ll be a good husband and father.”
Maddie’s face was flush with happiness. Her hug was tight when she embraced Miriam. Finding that she was tired again, Maddie sprawled on the bed for a nap when Miriam left.
*****
Connor came in later that evening. When he saw Maddie wasn’t seated at the dinner table, he headed upstairs and saw her sleeping. Connor returned downstairs to get a plate of food for her. When he stepped into the bedroom again, she was up and groggy.
“You brought food up for me?” she smiled at him, rubbing her eyes.
“Yes,” he said, smiling in return. “Are ye feeling alright, Maddie?”
“Yes, just tired,” Maddie said, reaching for the food.
“I’m content that ye have opened yer appetite. Ye are gaining weight.”
She decided to tease him. “You know, Connor, it’s rude to point out a woman’s weight gain,” she said seriously.
He was quiet, pondering her statement. He stared at her, uncertain what to say. She started laughing and a smile spread his face.
“Maddie, I’ve been meaning to ask ye what ye meant that day with yer comment about the difference between man and wife, and husband and wife.”
Her lips widened in a small smile as she finished chewing.
“‘Tis simple, Connor. A man has been a man since he ceased being a boy. Pronouncing us man and wife doesn’t add responsibility to ye, nor a new title, but the woman must accept a new role, life, and title. At marriage, a man becomes a husband and a woman becomes a wife. To pronounce that a man is still a man yet the woman is now a wife, seems to infer that the man has no new responsibilities. It almost seems as if being a woman wasn’t enough to retain the title after the union.” She shrugged as her cheeks took on a rosy hue. “I had a lot of time to think about this when I lived with my father.”
Connor sat back, thinking. While her explanation was a bit confusing, he had to admit that it made sense to him. He knew she was intelligent, but her insight was remarkable.
“That is interesting, Maddie. Yes, I can see yer logic. I apologize. Ye’re right. We are husband and wife, nay man and wife.”
Maddie smiled and leaned in for a kiss. After eating, she looked so tired that he couldn’t bring himself to exhaust her further with lovemaking. Instead, he was satisfied by simply holding her tightly in his arms.
*****
The following morning, Maddie awoke and wasn’t surprised to find out that it was half past the day. She knew that on days when she overslept, Katie would be playing with the children while they waited for her to appear.
Maddie went outside and it was time to play a game of Hide-and-Go-Seek. The rules had long since changed, though. Markers, consisting of red cloth on stakes, were now posted. Maddie, Katie, and the children were to stay within the limits. They were in place since the day after Binouix had taken her.
As was the usual strategy to outlast the children, Maddie and Katie hid separately. She peeked and hid back when one of the children ran by. Maddie crouched, inhaling deeply from the close call. She heard warriors conversing nearby and couldn’t help but listen in.
“I’m not one for gossiping, Sean, but I heard something interesting.”
Sean snickered. “Well, out with it, Patrick. Who does it concern?”
“Lady Madeleine.”
Maddie’s heart skipped. Gossip about her? She hid better to make sure no one found her.
“What about our mistress?”
“I overheard Connor’s men talking, and heard the real reason for Lady Madeleine’s presence here.”
“But I thought that she was rescued by our laird,” Sean said.
“Nay,” Patrick said, and continued, “it was his plan all along to bring her here.”
Maddie took in a breath and held it. What was Patrick talking about?
“This is a lengthy story, so doona interrupt me,” the warrior said surly. “I hate it when ye do that.”
“Alright, then, get on with it!”
He pursed his lips but continued with his tale. “One of Lady Madeleine’s brothers violated Lady Katherynne. Sir Malcolm provided information about the Wynton family and a plan was developed for vengeance days after Lady Katherynne’s defilement,” Patrick said.
Maddie’s heart stopped beating. One of her brothers violated Katie? Bile crept up her throat. She felt like stones were in her stomach.
“I overheard Kirk’s conversation with Iain yesterday.”
“Why were they talking about this so freely?” He looked skeptically at his friend.
“They didna know I was there. It was Iain who was remarking as to the significant change our laird has undergone since Lady Madeleine’s arrival.”
“Continue, Patrick,” Sean urged.
“The night that the pact was made, our laird thought to have a group of our men take Lady Madeleine from her land and then he would later rescue her to make it seem as if he were noble in cause. They were to bring her back here, where he was going to seduce her in order to bring shame to her and the Wyntons.”
Maddie shook her head in disbelief as tears began to fall from her eyes. She forced herself to stay and hear the rest of the story.
“As it turns out, our men didna have to take Lady Madeleine for it was Athyn who took her and one of his men had mistreated her. I couldna hear why they took her, for Kirk and Iain had lowered their voices considerably. Laird Connor rescued her from Athyn and the plan went forward.”
“So ye mean to say that our laird married Lady Madeleine for venge
ance,” Sean asked, laughing at the incredulity. “That is nay something to joke upon, Patrick. Nay, ye pull my leg. The marriage of a laird is no trivial matter.”
Patrick shook his head.
“He didna set out to marry her. Before leaving to find Lady Madeleine in England, Iain warned our Laird that he would have to woo the lady, something Laird Connor isna adept at. As I see it, when he saw that seducing Lady Madeleine was difficult- remember how pious and obsessed with cleaning she was- he thought the best recourse would be to marry. Hell, ye remember our laird had no intention of ever marrying. He never wanted to. So, I guess he figured it would be more practical to get married for vengeance than to stay unmarried. I figured he bedded Lady Madeleine and intends to let her go back to her family shamed that he had managed to seduce her. That she had willingly gone to his bed with a Scot, no less, is a graver insult than him forcefully taking her innocence. Iain said that our laird had stated that getting her to fall in love with him would be all the more sweeter.”
“But she is still here, Patrick. That proves that what ye overheard is false.”
Maddie nodded her head in fearful agreement.
“Nay, Sean. Remember when Lady Madeleine and Laird Connor were in rough waters? I believe she found out the truth and after some time, they worked it through. Perhaps they’ve overcome this.”
“And if not?” Sean asked.
Maddie grew more ill by the moment. She was devastated. Her eyes burned from threatening tears.
“Then either he’s truly in love with her, which is difficult to believe since it was one of her brothers who violated Lady Katherynne, or she doesna know and he continues this farce of a marriage for vengeance.”
“That is foolish. What if a bairn results?”
“Ye are simpleminded, arena ye Sean?” Patrick asked, laughing. “He needs an heir to continue the line. If he gets one from this marriage, better for him. He wasna intending to get married anyway, and probably would have ended up accepting a bastard as his legitimate heir if he hadna married.”
The Highlander Who Saved Me (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 2) Page 20
