by Tessa Teevan
Ty couldn’t believe I still had balls, and Lexi had threatened to take his if he ever thought of doing anything similar, but I’d smiled at the memory of how well I’d helped Sierra relax afterwards. Who knew scaring the shit out of her would have been such good foreplay?
“Jeremy!”
This one was more frantic than before, and just as I was about to play along, she came sliding into the kitchen wearing nothing but socks and a T-shirt. She threw something at me, and before I could duck, it hit me straight on the forehead then clattered to the floor. I frowned.
“What in the world?” I muttered, and then she started gesturing wildly.
I watched in rapt fascination as she pointed at herself and then at me. Then she moved her finger back and forth between the two of us.
“You and me?” I asked, and she nodded enthusiastically.
Then she took her thumb and forefinger and made an O, sticking her other forefinger through it. You know. The juvenile symbol for sex. This piqued my interested, and I started unbuttoning my pants. She shook her head and huffed. Then she pointed at her belly, circling her finger.
That’s when it dawned on me.
“Seriously?”
She nodded.
“Seriously?”
She nodded.
“Are you fucking serious?”
Once again, Sierra nodded.
“Sierra! Fucking words!”
“We’re having a baby!” she squealed in such a quick rush I almost missed it.
“We’re having a baby,” I repeated, and she nodded again, beaming.
She launched herself into my arms, and I stumbled slightly as she wrapped her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck. I gazed up into her eyes, completely in awe.
“We’re having a baby,” I whispered.
She leaned down to kiss me. “Are you happy?” she asked, and I wasted no time carrying her down the hall and plopping her down on the bed.
“Happy? No, baby, I’m fucking ecstatic.” My hand cupped her cheek. “You just made the happiest man in the world.”
It was true. I’d always known I wanted to be a dad, and there was no question that Sierra and I would eventually start a family. But I never expected the sudden rush of joy that filled my heart as soon as I heard I was going to be a dad. I was like a kid waiting for his birthday, wanting the time to pass quickly, unable to stand the wait.
And I had a lot of waiting to do. But I didn’t fucking care. I was going to be a dad.
A dad.
Holy shit.
“So much so you’ll forget I just threw my pregnancy test at your head?” she asked sheepishly, snapping me out of my stunned trance.
“Is that what that was?” I asked as I peppered her jaw with kisses.
“Mmm hmm,” she murmured then moaned as I thrust two fingers deep inside her without preamble.
“Don’t fucking care. You’re having my baby. Throw as many of those at my head as you want as long as they’re all positive.”
“Jeremy,” she panted.
I stopped kissing her to look up. “Yeah, baby?”
“Shut up and fuck me.”
Well, hell. Who was I to say no to that?
So I shut up and fucked my wife.
My gorgeous, incredible, pregnant wife.
Then we celebrated, and then we fucked some more.
In a little less than nine months, Ava Victoria Banks would be born and our lives would never be the same.
For almost a week, I’d been avoiding the pregnancy test underneath my bathroom sink. On Monday, I’d realized I was three days late. My boobs were tender to the touch, but I hadn’t had any other pregnancy symptoms, so I didn’t want to get all excited for it to turn out that my cycle was just changing.
Jeremy and I had talked about starting a family, but we weren’t actively trying or anything. It was more of a “let nature take its course and if it happens, it happens” kinda thing. But now that I was a week late, I had to know. And I had to know before Jeremy came home.
So I unwrapped the plastic, peed on a stick, and then paced my bathroom for two minutes, not allowing myself to even peek. When the timer on my phone dinged, the garage door opened. It was now or never.
With trembling hands, I picked the stick up and took a deep breath.
Those two pink lines were the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.
We were having a baby.
I couldn’t wait to tell Jeremy, and when I did, his reaction was pretty much what I’d expected.
I wish I could say that that was all she wrote, but I’d be lying. The next nine months were a whirlwind, and by the time Jeremy insisted on calling our baby girl Jeremina, I was more than ready to cut him off from baby naming. Until he suggested Ava, and I fell in love. It was from one of his favorite movies—The Night of the Iguana—and he had an unhealthy obsession with Ava Gardner, but I didn’t care. If we’d been told that it was a boy, I’d have been really hard-pressed not to name it after Taylor Kitsch.
We had her name and her room ready, and we were both impatiently awaiting the arrival of our daughter. She couldn’t have gotten there soon enough.
2008
“IT’S TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!” JEREMY’S VOICE woke me from a dreamless sleep, and I wanted to knock him out.
I squinted with one eye and groaned. “You and Ty are no longer allowed to watch UFC at our house. I told you, no more Bruce Buffer, Jeremy, and I meant it. No more.”
Jeremy grinned and held his arms out. Groaning again, I blinked twice, wiping my eyes as I sat up in bed. I frowned when I saw that he was already dressed and my suitcase was at his feet.
“You love my Bruce Buffer. Especially in bed.” He wagged his eyebrows while giving me a playful smile.
It was my turn to grin—from the memory of the first time he “Buffered” me. “I should probably send that guy a thank-you note. Now, I never have to wonder when you’re about to get off in my mouth.”
Yes, on occasion—usually UFC fight nights—Jeremy got quite into character, and just as he was about to come, he’d let me know with his best impersonation of UFC’s famed commentator. And then, on most nights, he’d pull out, allowing us to move on to the main event. And, on most nights, I never minded one bit.
But this? This was different.
He leaned forward on the bed, placing his fists down on either side of me. His lips whispered against mine. Then he pulled back, his eyes dancing with delight.
“It’s time, baby. You ready?” he asked.
Without even glancing at the clock, I knew that it was, indeed, time. Our little girl was already letting us know how stubborn she was going to be. Little Ava Victoria Banks was a week overdue, and today, like it or not, she was finally going to make her appearance in the world.
“I’m scared out of my mind,” I admitted.
His eyes softened. Then his hand cupped my face. “You wanna know something?” he asked.
I nodded, not taking my eyes off him.
“I’m scared, too.”
Those three words, which should have terrified me even further, were the remedy for my racing heart.
“I thought you weren’t scared of anything,” I teased.
“Just sharks, baby,” he said softly. “What do you say we face our fears and go in the water together?”
Hot tears filled my eyes, and I needed a moment to take it all in. The memory from all those years ago seeped back in. Even at eight years old, I had known I could depend on Jeremy, and all these years later, he was still comforting me, asking me to face my fears head on with him. My heart swelled with all the love I had for him. That’s when I knew there was no reason to be scared. Sure, we’d mess up and make mistakes. But with parents whose love was as strong and devoted as ours? Any kid would be lucky to be born into that.
“Where you go, I go,” I said with a smile.
It never got old. At least, not for me.
He smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I
think it’s the opposite today, baby. You’re going to the hospital, and I’ll be right there with you the entire time.”
I raised an eyebrow. “The entire time?” I asked.
He inhaled sharply then stood and helped me up out of the bed. His hands slid to my waist, and he peered down at me. Or more like at my rounded belly pressed against his torso.
“Can we do it like the olden days? Your dad and I will smoke cigars and drink whiskey in the waiting room, and Lexi and your mom can be there for all the hard stuff?”
I laughed and shook my head. “Nope. No way. You’re my birth coach, Banks. You were there for the fun stuff. You’ll be there for this part, too,” I informed him. Then I got dressed for my hospital stay.
“Okay, okay. I had to try one last time. But I am not holding a leg!” His insistence was unnecessary, because I’d already informed my doctor that Jeremy was definitely not holding a leg. He called it a love sanctuary for a reason; he did not need to witness it as a birth canal.
Jeremy held my hand the entire way to the hospital, and the next time we walked into our house, our lives would never be the same.
I couldn’t wait.
I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep the night before Ava’s arrival. Sierra had zonked out on the bed next to me as if it were any other night and not the eve of what would drastically change our lives. Every time I’d closed my eyes, I couldn’t stop thinking about what was going to come.
I was having a daughter.
Not only that, but she was going to be Sierra’s daughter. Like, gorgeous, sexy, beautiful, make-’em-fall-in-love-with-you-at-first-sight Sierra.
I finally understood what Nick had meant all those years ago. Ava wasn’t even born yet and I was already making plans. That girl wasn’t leaving her room until she was thirty. Maybe thirty-five.
So, while Sierra slept, I freaked out. I reeled it in. I freaked out some more. Then I reeled in it again, knowing that Ava was going to have the best parents and the best childhood, and the only blemish on her life would be her dirty Steelers-loving uncle.
Hey, it never got old giving Ty crap. Who fucking dey.
When the alarm was about to blare, I switched it off and got out of bed, but not before I gave a still-dead-to-the-world sleeping Sierra a kiss on the forehead. I got ready for the day as if it were any other one. By the time I was done, however, I could no longer contain my excitement. I was like a kid on Christmas morning, and I wanted my gift now.
Right fucking now.
So I Bruce-Buffered Sierra, and even though she might have glared, I knew she loved it.
The hospital trip was a breeze. With Sierra being induced, they were waiting for us with a room ready. Hell, she was only in labor for three hours before she was fully dilated.
That’s when the nerves crept in, and I had half a mind to join our families in the waiting room, but I pushed them aside because Sierra needed me—even if I was freaking out on the inside.
Sierra was panting and grunting, and her face was redder than I’d ever seen it. I tried keeping up with the breathing exercises we’d learned in Lamaze, but the energy coming from her made me think she didn’t want me around. I’d heard those stories, the laughing jokes about the crazy, witchy woman who replaced your wife in the delivery room. The one who threatens your dick, swears she’s never having sex again, and so on. I was fully prepared for that, even had a few jokes lined up for it.
But I never got the chance. That crazy, witchy woman wasn’t Sierra. Instead, she wasn’t saying a word. She wasn’t looking at me. She was so focused on what she was doing that it was like I wasn’t even there.
I wanted to be, so when the latest contraction ripped through her and she was hunched up, I let her torture my hand as I rubbed her lower back.
“Push, baby,” I coached—like a champ, I might add. I wasn’t obnoxious. I was supportive.
Or so I thought.
Her head turned so slowly and deliberately that I had a vision of it twisting all the way around Exorcist style.
Oh shit.
She was aware of my presence. Finally. Her teeth were clenched as she glared at me. I had a feeling I was about to meet crazy, witchy Sierra.
“That’s easy for you to say. You get your ass on this bed, climb into my uterus, and push her out for me,” she seethed.
Then I made a grave mistake.
I laughed.
Now, her blue eyes were wide and bulging, her mouth hanging open. This time, she reminded of Chucky, and I shuddered at the thought. That’s the one thing I couldn’t do. Creepy dolls. Nope, not for me, ever. Especially creepy ginger dolls. No soul and all that jazz.
I probably should have stopped comparing my wife to horror movie creatures in my head, but I couldn’t help it.
“Stop it, baby. You’re going to give me nightmares,” I teased.
Another grave mistake.
I needed to shut up, or I was never going to worship in Sierra’s love temple again.
Fortunately, Sierra began pushing again, and the doctor announced that she could see a head. My curiosity got the best of me, and I stretched my body so I could get a look.
I mean, it’s not every day your wife has a head coming out of her vagina, and my interest was piqued.
My final mistake.
One second, Sierra was squeezing my hand so hard I thought it was going to pop off, and the next second, I was flat on my back, blinking slowly and wondering how I’d gotten there. A nurse was grinning down at me, and I shook my head, trying to regain my sense. That’s when I heard it.
The most beautiful sound in the world.
At least, in my world at that split second.
A baby was crying.
Sure, that sound might eventually become the bane of my existence, but in that moment, it was music to my fucking ears.
I jumped to my feet and wiped my hands off on my pants, smiling brightly. “I’m good!” I said, frantically looking around the room. I probably looked ridiculous, but I’d just passed out, and now, I was experiencing some crazy kind of adrenaline rush from knowing that my kid was finally out in the world.
My kid.
That stopped me right in my tracks.
My. Kid.
My eyes raced to Sierra’s. She was grinning at me, shaking her head—clearly not experiencing quite the same rush that had rendered me speechless.
“I told you not to take a peek,” she scolded while still maintaining her grin.
I ran a hand through my hair and went to her side. She’d never been more beautiful. Her hair was damp, matted on her forehead. The circles under her eyes were dark, but her cheeks were flushed, her smile was wide, and her eyes were shining with all the love she had for me. All the love she had for our daughter.
“Your legs were spread, baby. I couldn’t not take a peek,” I told her, because let’s face it. It was the truth. “So much for cutting the cord.”
She giggled, shaking her head and letting it fall back against the pillow. Her tired eyes sparkled, crinkling on the edges while her mouth was turned upward in a dreamy smile.
“You did good.”
An eyebrow quirked up. “How would you know? You were on the floor before Ava was even out,” she teased.
Just as I was about to protest and stick up for my manhood, a nurse approached us from the other side.
“Okay, Mom and Dad,” she singsonged, almost sounding like a young Mary Poppins. “Say hello to little miss Ava.”
Sierra’s breath caught, and my heart leapt into my throat. All I could see was a bundle in yellow, the nurse having wrapped Ava in the blanket Sierra had insisted on. Yellow, not pink. That was my girl. We watched in silence as the nurse got closer, and I’m pretty sure neither of us was breathing. Then the nurse smiled and placed Ava in Sierra’s waiting arms.
Her eyes were wide as she stared up at her mom. Her mom’s eyes were just as wide as she stared down.
Sierra Banks, my wife, was holding Ava Banks, my daughter, for the very first
time.
My wife.
My daughter.
And that was all it took. It hit me so hard that I could’ve passed out again. But I did something else.
I cried.
I fucking cried.
Then I sat on the edge of the bed and placed my arm around Sierra’s shoulders, and when Ava’s eyes moved to me, I cried again.
I’D NEVER FORGET HOW it felt when Ava was placed in my arms. You hear all those clichés. Your heart is now living outside your body, you finally found your purpose in life, or whatever else the greeting cards say. I always thought that’s what they were. Clichés. But then I experienced it and knew that it was all so true.
Gazing down at Ava’s pink little face, her innocent eyes watching me, I was in awe. As my eyes were transfixed on my little girl, the magnitude of the moment rendered me speechless. I couldn’t believe that this beautiful, tiny human being was a product of our love. When Jeremy sat on the bed next to me and looked at his daughter for the first time, bursts of pride exploded in my heart.
Two days old and Ava Banks was already the most loved kid in the world. Visits from Mom, Dad, Mr. and Mrs. Banks, Jenna, Chris, Ty, and Lexi had all overwhelmed and exhausted me, but in the best possible way. As tired as I was, I couldn’t help but beam from the incredible amount of love and support Jeremy and I had and, in turn, Ava would have.
But it was right at that specific moment that I knew Ava was one lucky little girl. I’d just gotten out of the bathroom, having freshened up for our impending release. Jeremy was sitting in the rocking chair, holding our tiny bundle of joy in his arms. His expression was a mixture of pure love and awe. While he was speaking in hushed whispers to our daughter, she was staring up at him with rapt attention. His forefinger stroked her soft baby skin, and when he leaned down to place a kiss on her tiny fingertips, I fell deeper in love with him. If I’d have had my phone, the picture I could’ve snapped would’ve been perfect for a greeting card.
“Who knew dads were so sexy?” I asked, breaking the silence.
His head lifted, his eyes meeting mine. “She’s so tiny,” he whispered.
I crossed the room, placed my hand on his shoulder, and peered down at them. “She looks good on you.”
