by Sky Winters
“I’m sorry to run up at you like that Miss, but I was afraid that you didn’t hear me. You see, I’ve been waiting here for most of the day and I’m wondering if you might be Miss Evans? “
Lucy’s heart beat even faster. Her nerve started to fail and she looked embarrassedly at the ground. She hadn’t expected to meet him like this, in the street, in the dark. She had imaging tidying herself up, perhaps adding a new ribbon to her hair, polishing her shoes and a hundred and one things that she might have done before they met. Now he was here, standing in front of her.
In the silence he began to hop from one foot to the other, her awkwardness rubbing off on him, leaving them both feeling like embarrassed school children.
“Millie Jane?”
His voice now sounded anxious, no longer confident.
She looked up at him, eyes large and bright, unsure of what to say or do. Her voice was quiet, like a mouse. The name had sounded unusual on his lips and she was still getting used to it.
“Gus?”
At the sound of his name he stood straight, an inch taller as he swept back the dark unruly hair with his hand.
“At your service Ma’am.”
Lucy couldn’t help but smile at his words. She had been so used to being treated badly by men, that it was a refreshing change to hear him being so polite, so gentleman like.
Her smile immediately broke the ice. Gus had been worried that she was having second thoughts about him and had already changed her mind about staying. He was painfully aware of the differences in their ages and he wondered what she thought upon seeing him for the first time.
Unable to think of anything else to do, Lucy held out her tiny, gloved hand which Gus eagerly grasped, nearly crushing her fingers in his large, rough miner’s hands. The relief on his face was plain to see and he started to laugh as he relaxed.
“I’m sure glad it is you Miss Evans. I would be feeling mighty stupid right now if you had been someone else. Now what am I thinking about, you must be tired and hungry? My horse and wagon are just a little way down here, now come along and I’ll take you home”.
The word ‘Home’ made Lucy’s heart ache in her breast. She had never known a real home, not since she was a small girl. Gus seemed so kind; it almost seemed too good to be true. Picking up her small bag she followed the tall figure back down the street.
“Hey, where are my manners – let me take that bag from you. That’s what I’m here for Miss Evans, to look after you right and proper from now on.”
His cabin was a little way out of town and the journey back took a little over half an hour. Lucy did not mind, and sat up on the front of the coach close to Gus. Her heart lifted as they travelled through the open country. She couldn’t see much in the darkness, but the air smelled fresh and sweet of pine, and she felt free for the first time in years. It was a cold night yet she did not feel it, her heart already aglow with a new sense of belonging.
The cabin was small yet comfortable. Gus had built it many years ago with his own hands and though it was simple, she could see that it had been made with love and care and built to last. The walls were thick to insulate against the winters cold and the windows and doors tightly fitting against the chill winds. Leading her through the front door he set down her things, opening the door wide for her to step into the main room. He had made an effort for her; there were flowers in a small jar on the heavy and scrubbed table, and the stove was lit creating a rosy glow that brought a cheer to the place. Gus stood back, watching her eyes. He knew it was simple by city standards but he was proud of his handy work. Again, he wondered what she would make of the sparse and simplistic living quarters. Lucy had to stop herself from smiling too much, her heart was so full. She started imagining what she could do to the place, perhaps some curtains and a few cushions would add a feminine touch.
Seeing the happiness in her eyes he felt content and started to light the lamps in the room.
“Come this way, I’ll show you where I sleep.”
Opening a door at the far left of the room, he led her into a large and airy room. There was a large window at one end, covered with a wooden blind and in one corner a cupboard for clothes. A large and comfortable bed covered with a huge patchwork quilt stood in the middle.
“This is where you will sleep Miss Evans.”
As soon as he had finished speaking he looked embarrassed, a red color flushing through his cheeks.
“Of course, I will sleep on the couch, until we are wed good and proper, I didn’t mean, I didn’t...”
Gus stopped speaking suddenly, not sure where the conversation was leading to and not thinking it proper for a lady’s ears.
Lucy had to stop herself from rushing to his aid. She almost wanted to tell him that it was OK, she was more than happy to sleep with him from the first evening, but she held back. That was the old Lucy, the old days. It would not be fitting for a young lady to say such things. Gus would expect her to be chaste, a virgin and she must act that way.
She lowered her head and feigned a maiden’s blush. It was an honest piece of woman’s trickery but it seemed to work and Gus stepped out of the room.
“I’ll get your things and let you get yourself settled. I’ll bring you some hot water too so you can wash and tidy yourself up a little. Not that I think you look untidy, no Ma’am I think you look just swell, I just meant for you own comfort.”
She smiled up at him, his face anxious that he had said the wrong thing again.
“That would be appreciated Gus.”
The water was hot and she splashed it onto her hands and face to freshen herself. She could have easily fallen into the large and welcoming bed, she was so tired, but Gus had prepared her supper, a pot of simmering chicken broth was waiting for her when she emerged from the bedroom. Gus had placed a large bible on the table next to his supper; God had definitely guided her to the right man.
He waited until she had sat down before he joined her at the table, and lowering his head solemnly he said a short grace before they started eating.
The broth was delicious and Lucy ate quickly, regaining her appetite.
“This is good Gus; you’re obviously a good cook?”
Gus looked sheepish and lowered his head.
“I’ve got to admit Miss Evans that my neighbour’s wife made this for me. I’m afraid I’m not very good at this sort of thing. It would be bread and cheese it if had been left to me.”
Lucy laughed.
Gus looked serious. “I shouldn’t have lied to you, mislead you like that, I’m sorry”
“It was only a little white lie Gus, I forgive you, and it doesn’t matter.”
Gus placed his hand on the bible. “A little white lie is the start of the slippery slope Miss Evans. God see’s all. In the book of Psalms it states, ‘No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes’. And you can’t argue with Gods words Miss Evans.”
For a moment she felt cold. All the warmth of the cabin, the cosiness, the lights, seemed to have been sucked out into the dark night. A cold shiver of fear rippled through her backbone, and she felt a heaviness in her heart. For a few brief hours she had forgotten her past, who she really was and where she had come from. Here she sat breaking bread with a good, honest, and Christian man and she had no right to be here, no right at all. Dropping her spoon into the broth she sat back into her chair, nauseas with anxiety.
Gus was soon at her side looking concerned.
“I’m sorry Miss Evans; I can ramble on so sometimes. I didn’t mean to sound so stern. My dear departed mother always said I should have been a preacher. I get carried away sometimes. I have lived on my own for too long and forget my manners. Forgive me but I am not used to feminine company. You must be tired, here let me help me to your room, you will feel much better after a sleep in the morning.”
Lucy let him talk. Her sudden weariness had left her unable to do so. The words from the bible had struck her down like a
sword and she felt weak and afraid. She would make her excuses in the morning and leave this place. It was the only decent thing to do.
Once she was alone she knelt down at the side of the bed in prayer. She had come too far since Denver, physically as well as emotionally for it all to end so abruptly. Gus was a good man and she could not lie to him, but then again she could not tell him the truth or he would surely despise her; and that would be the worst thing in this case; hurting a good, Christian man like Gus.
She didn’t sleep well. Her conscience kept her awake during the long dark hours. She had been so certain that it had been God’s will to lead her out here, but now she wasn’t so sure and wondered if God had abandoned her, or had really forgiven her after all? Perhaps the Preacher had been wrong all along.
It was only as the grey light of dawn started to filter through the wooden blind that she finally fell into a deep sleep through sheer exhaustion.
A sound woke her and she wondered where she was. There it was again, the distinct sound of someone chopping wood outside. Opening her eyes she looked around the strange room, taking a few seconds to realise where she was and remember the events of the night before. Her stomach lurched as she recalled Gus’s words at the table and lay quietly in bed wondering what she should do. The room was cosy and homely and Lucy could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes and start to spread in large drops down her cheeks. This could have so easily been her home, she could have been happy here; very happy.
Lucy hadn’t noticed the sounds outside had stopped and she sat quickly upright as there came a slight tapping at her door.
“Miss Evans, are you awake, Miss Evans?”
Wiping her tears on the sleeve of her night gown she straightened her hair with her fingers before calling back out to him.
“Yes, I’m awake”.
He didn’t enter the room but called back to her through the door.
“I’ll make you some coffee and eggs if you would like?”
He was trying so hard to please his young wife to be and she could sense the eagerness in his voice. She also realised how hungry she was, after not eating much of her supper.
“That would be just fine, thank you”.
She would tell him over breakfast that she couldn’t stay, make some excuse that she had made a mistake. That she was a city girl and this place was too isolated, too much out in the sticks to settle. She would thank him for his kindness but tell him that she would have to return by the next available coach.
“I’ll leave some hot water outside of the door for you,” he called before going away to prepare her meal.
Whilst dressing she rehearsed the words she would say to him, over and over in her head. She must make it quite clear that it wasn’t his fault, that he had done nothing wrong to offend her; in fact, just the opposite. One thing was clear; she must not get over emotional but remain calm and composed until she was away from this place, only then would she let the tears fall.
The breakfast was prepared and a bunch of wild flowers had been placed in a little jam jar on the table. Lucy sighed; he was such a perfect gentleman. Gus stood with his back to her, preparing the eggs on a small stove and turned and smiled at her as she entered.
It was the first time that Lucy had really seen his face in daylight. He looked older than he had appeared yesterday; the candle light had softened his features somewhat. Yet the face was handsome if not a little careworn. It was a face that she might have loved but she did not dwell on the fact. It was no use getting sentimental.
Bringing over the coffee and eggs, Gus sat down opposite her. She looked even younger in the light of day, yet there were heavy shadows under her eyes and a look about them that seemed older than her years. He put it down to tiredness.
“Did you sleep well?”
Lucy nodded between mouthfuls of the egg; she was so hungry. The coffee was strong and black and gave her an instant boost.
Gus carried on chatting away to her as she ate.
“I thought I could take you into town today. I noticed that your bag was quite small and I guessed that you could do with a few things. I can introduce you to my neighbours too. Then there will be church in the morning and you will soon know everyone. I know it must seem a little strange to you at the moment but you’ll soon settle in just fine.”
As he spoke she could feel the anxiety rise inside her. He was talking about a life that she could never be part of. She had to stop him talking or she feared that her heart would break in two; she opened her mouth to speak.
“Gus, I ...”
“Did you enjoy the eggs?”
“Yes they were delicious thank you, look Gus..”
“I keep my own hens you know; they’re all good little layers.”
Lucy couldn’t help but smile back, yet she was determined to have her say.
“Gus, about last night...”
“How was the coffee, not too strong I hope?”
Swallowing back her words Lucy smiled once more, he so wanted to please her that it was hard to find the right words.
“It was fine Gus, just the way I like it. Now there is something that I need to say...”
Gus stood up sharply as if just remembering something.
“Excuse me interrupting Miss Evans, but there is something that I almost forgot, I have a surprise for you,” and before she had the chance to utter a further word he had rushed off though the front door.
Lucy sighed; this was going to be harder than she thought.
Soon Gus was back and pushing the door slightly ajar he called out to her.
“Close your eyes.”
She did as she was told and heard him walking back into the room and something scraping against the wooden floor.
“Now you can open them”
As she opened her eyes Lucy looked up to see Gus standing beside a fine looking rocking chair.
“I hope you like it; I made it myself, for you?”
Rising slowly she walked over to where he was standing. Nobody had ever given her a present before and never one so fine. The chair had been beautifully made and her initials M.J. had been carved upon the back. She brushed her hand against the wood; it was smooth and warm to her touch. Opening her mouth she tried to speak, but all the rehearsed words and good intentions had left her. Clenching her hands together she dug her nails deep into her palms in an attempt to hold back the emotion, but it did not work and the tears came in floods; much to the alarm of Gus.
“What’s the matter Miss Evans, do you not like it?” his voice was full of concern and his brow furrowed.
“It’s beautiful Gus. I think it’s the nicest thing that I have ever seen. I don’t deserve such a present.”
“There, there,” his hand moved in a fatherly fashion over her shoulder and she trembled slightly under his strong arm.
“Now Miss Evans, why don’t you try it out, see if it is comfortable for you.”
Obediently, like a child she sat down in the chair and rocked slightly to and fro as Gus’s eyes lit with pleasure.
“How does it feel?”
“It feels just great Gus, it’s a mighty fine chair.”
A few moments elapsed in a comfortable silence, whilst Gus gently rocked the chair and Lucy closed her eyes. Now the tension had been released she felt as though she could sleep for a week.
It was Gus who broke the silence, a worried tone in his voice.
“Miss Evans, I almost forgot in the rush to show you the chair, where are my manners? You said there was something that you wanted to tell me. Now what was it you wanted to say?”
Lucy opened her eyes onto the strong and earnest face of the kindest man she had ever met. His eyes were clear and honest.
“Call me Millie Jane Gus, please call me Millie Jane.”
Lucy Evans was left with no choice. She would break the poor man’s heart by leaving as much as it would hurt him to know her past. The likelihood of him hearing about the old days were slim; she was far from home and she
could keep her secret deep inside her own heart; only she and God would know. Besides she reasoned, she was a different woman now. She had repented before God and if God forgave her then that should be enough. She would care for Gus and look after him for the rest of her days and would make herself worthy of him.
Gus was true to his word and that afternoon they travelled into the small town. He was as generous with his money as he was with his heart and soon he had bought her several new dresses, hats, and a new pair of shoes as well as all of the intimate items that a woman needs. She had never owned so many beautiful items in her lifetime.
They also bought a number of items from the general store; a fancy clock for the wall and some pretty material that she would make into curtains and cushions to brighten up the little cabin.
They met many of his friends and neighbours along the way and they all seemed happy to meet her and greeted her warmly. She was glad that she had decided to stay, and prayed to God that night for her and Gus; that everything would turn out well in the end.
The next day they attended the small white painted Methodist church located a little further down the valley. Lucy did not mind which denomination or church she attended; she believed that God was the same wherever she went.
Once again the people were friendly towards her. The men and women shaking her hand warmly; Gus was obviously well liked and respected and his friends and neighbours were happy that he would no longer be living alone.
Lucy settled back in her seat, proud to be next to Gus and looked forward to the sermon. The Minister was a red faced, small man and looked quite comical as he took his place at the pulpit, peering over his glasses at the congregation like a stern schoolmaster.
His sermon was full of fury; he was one of the fire and brimstone preachers that held drinking and gambling as the very route to hell. He read from the Old Testament Galatians 5:16
"But l say, Walk by the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are contrary the one to the other; that ye may not do the things that ye would, but if ye are led by the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousies, wraths, factions, divisions, parties, envyings, drunkenness, revellings, and such like; of which I forewarn you, even as I did forwarn you that they who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God."
